EXO-L POV

There is only so much one can do against themselves. We all have to face problems, problems that come to us like nails scattered on a dusty road. Some are big so you have to work your way around them while others are small like a nut that you can toss away. Then, you encounter a few that escape the eye until they pierce open your skin. It's hard to pull them out and the scars have you carry the pain around. But the worst of them all are those nails that get stuck deep enough that you can no longer even see them. The skin heals around the wound and from time to time, it scrapes you from within. But it is a part of you now, one you have to live with. You get so used to it that solving the problem and parting ways would leave behind a sense of emptiness. So even if you find a solution, it wouldn't be enough.

I stare forward at the trace of my footsteps into the heavy snow. It stretches away into a thin line until it disappears towards the horizon. This is from where I came but within hours, I know that it will all disappear and I will be lost again.

One cannot remember all the battles they have fought. But if the scar of defeat is deep enough, it shall be remembered till the very last breath.

Tomorrow, I shall be lost again, in this wild world that knows me not. But tonight, in this very town that has seen me rise, fall, blossom and wither, I am filled with a nostalgic sense of belonging. The people and the lights, the scent and the ruckus of sounds... all of it reminds me of a time that no longer exists. But, even if I should not be here, my feet led me to it.

It does not take long for me to reach the street corner in which we shared our very first kiss. The fragrance of coffee invades my senses as I stop right there, bathing in the light of the coffee shop on my left. It was a magical moment and it comes to me like clear water. The warmth of your skin against mine, the beat of my heart, the sparks around us... But this town is too packed and it carries me away.

Wherever I look, memories of the past wash over me. I partially forget the time and place as if I was trapped. How can it be that all these feelings are still here? How ironical that one small mistake can awaken all the things you've been running from...

It's pointless.

The walk to our house is long but the journey feels too short to me. I've come here countless times in my dreams, sometimes with you but mostly alone. Everything looks exactly the same, from the white door to the blue curtains and the black railings. Even the garden looks exactly the same. But voices pour outside with the light and none of them belongs to you. I'm relieved but at the same time disappointed. There is so much I want to say but I don't know how to face you... or if I should.

Who will accept you?

You're out there somewhere, living your life without me. The thought of it strikes my heart and fills it with pain.

Weak

If I could just see you once-

Weak

Just to hear your voice-

Weak, Weak

Even if it is just for one moment-

Weak, weak, weak, weak, weak-

The sound of laughter pulls me out of my thoughts. I know this laugh, I realize, as I look up.

And there you are, so close yet so far. The first thing that comes to my mind is how beautiful you look, standing in a black coat and wrapped in a red scarf. A simple look that compliments your figure. For a second, I can just see myself there, beside you. But all it takes is a blink to see the tall blonde whose hands are all over you. She wears an expensive looking jacket and high boots that must cost more than my apartment. But what gets to me more is her beautiful face, ocean blue eyes and strawberry lips that capture everyone's attention. I, on the other hand, seem to blend in the shadows with my dull eyes and short brown hair.

Because you're worthless.

The tears come up almost instantly but I quickly wipe them with the back of my hands. Here you come, the radiance of your smile stealing that of the moon. But I can't let you see me, not like that.

Swiftly, I cross the road and press my back against the wall, careful to be beside the broken street lamp. I could just simply turn my back, walk out of this street, out of this town, out of it all... But instead, I find myself watching you and her.

"So this is your town?" she asks in an overly sweet voice. Everything about her seems too sweet and I want to claw her away from you. But what right do I have to do that?

"Not really," you reply, stopping at the staircase. Your eyes linger on our house a minute too long and I can feel the sadness in your voice. "But I like to think of it as home."

What right do I have to step once more in your life? Who am I to throw away the happiness you finally regained? All I brought you was pain and- and-

You are a mistake.

So it turns out that you have been well and that, without me, you can still smile. This should not affect me, not when I was the one to walk away, but it does.

You were never important. Just a bad memory that needs to be forgotten.

This town is still the same. These people are still the same. I know it all... But nothing is as it was, before the tears and the scars, before you learned to hate me. So in this familiar place filled with familiar memories, you and I have become strangers. This is the result of not seeing each other in so long... all we now share is an estranged distance for relationship.

All this time, I've been acting up, lying to myself with everyone breath. I told myself that I was fine, that I had forgotten, knowing that my pierced heart was bleeding underneath all the bandaids. Raina was right but I turned my back on her. I was trapped inside my memories because there was nowhere else to go... Turns out that I was the only one who was in pain.

It is better this way. You're not being a burden anymore.

Yeah, it is better this way... But how pitiful must I look in that white scenery; it really did not take that long for me to be forgotten.