It has to be a dream...
You Did Well, JongHyun. Goodbye.18 December 2017
It was just anoher usual day, Monday Blue
There wasn't any sign of discomfort or weird feeling that I've felt that day.
It was just a usual working day, just like any other days.
It was till 5.30pm, I got the notification from my friend.
A news article was shared to me on Facebook, with a comment from my friend
"SHINee JongHyun committed suicide..."
What a joke.. This was how I fel the moment I read that message.
I chuckled while replying to his comment, "Are you serious? hahahaha"
Certainly, out of curiousity, I refereshed my FB newsfeed
JongHyun found dead in his apartment
SHINee JongHyun committed suicide
FOUND DEAD
COMMITTED SUICIDE
Those were the words I saw all over my newsfeed.
Disbelief. Shock. I went in further to read one of the articles.
SHINee JONGHYUN...
...COMMITTED SUICIDE
...COAL BRIQUETTES...
I couldn't believe what I've read, what appeared on the screen.
But, my feeling that time wasn't in a mess, yet.
I didn't feel the pain YET..
I went back home as usual, keeping myself updated on Facebook.
But everything that I was seeing were similar one after annother - FOUND DEAD, COMMITTED SUICIDE
Yet, I still consoled myself, keeping my faith to him strongly that those were just rumors.
I thought about how scary it was, where one single news, or even just a rumor of something would actually cause a wildfire for all other media to follow the trace.
5.30 till 9.30pm - 4 hours of reading the same news, paraphrased, copy-paste, news credits etc
Felt unsettled, but I had to hold on to my emotions and to be strong. Majority of the SHINee World have already started mourning, crying, leaving messages; RIP
On Twitter, hashtags of him, things related to him trending worldwide.
Yet, I still didn't feel the impact yet.
I thought I have seen the light around 9.30pm when my friend left a message on our groupchat ;
"Appearantly, Jong Hyun is still in hospital. Doctors are trying to resurrect him"
Straight away, I refreshed my twitter and related messages appeared;
Doctors trying to bring back him alive
JongHyun is not dead yet. Stop spreading rumors
His hear stopped for a minute but it beats again after receiving CPR, he's still in ICU
I prayed so hard for those to be true and everything that I've read for the past 4 hours were false, wrongly written, rumours, FAKE, FALSE!
Everything shattered at about 10.30pm
It's confirmed. JongHyun didn't make it through.
He passed away.
My heart died down.
5.30pm to 10.30pm - 5 hours of keeping my faith turned out to be worthless afterall
I felt the pain. But it wasn't that bad yet until the following days.
His death has taken over me completely.
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