Dear Ex-Step Brother,

How have you been? I have a favor to ask you.

It took me long enough – five years wow! – to find your exact address because when ex-mommy and you left, you guys all said nothing to me and never contacted me ever since. I met Youngbae yesterday – I know at this time you probably are frowning and yelling he's a hyung for you! Yeah, yeah I get it. I got shocked when I received his wedding invitation, I squealed hard to the point I embarrassed myself in front of Hyorin noona who was only smiling beautifully – she's a bae indeed.

Apparently Youngbae has just visited you for the same reason, and the smart me asked him the question I needed an exact answer the most.

It's like solving stupid Algebra equation.

He gave me your address. 

Canada? Wow! I've been wanting to visit there. But papa has just married again – this is the third times after Kwon ex-mommy ended the contract aaaanddd this one is the big news, she is two years younger than you and only three years older than me, but new momma is a pretty model and I love her food – and we moved to Paris because of her career which makes me really happy.

It's too pretty here, hyung. I remember how much you want to visit Paris someday.

Have you?

Youngbae also said you are a surgeon now! No wonder you loved to tear me apart so bad in the past.

Yes, hyung. I still remember. Well enough to give me trauma. (Stop laughing! I know you are)

Anyway, since I am a man now, I remember some things you have to return to me which actually make no sense at all, yet I still love to have it back. Please read the list. I'll let you know my new address soon - I'm moving out but papa hasn't approved the new apartment I chose yet. He said I'm too young to live by myself. 

But I'm twenty two! A BIG MAN NOW!

(I have abs, hyung! Do you want to see? No? Don't worry I'll still send you picture of my gracious chocolate abs. Yummy!)

Oh, let’s stop the chit chat. This is important matter about life and death of me!

Please return the things you've stolen from me. ert thief!

One, my bunny underwear

First, stop laughing, !

I know you have wild fantasy inside your old dirty mind. You laughed at me in the past when you knew about my childish but cute preferences, and probably still do. However, never did I think you'd stole one of my collection. And you got my most favorite one! My soft pink bunny underwear with a fluffy soft fur scut at the backside :”(

Hyung, I can’t sleep without my fur fluffy tail.

Oops! Now you know the secret. Not that I want to hide it anyway, because I know why now that you suddenly called me bunny in the past. I have insecurity with my non-existent rabit teeth, you're the one to be blamed for. And you know I don’t like carrots. I resemble panda more, people say, yet you called me bunny because I jumped a lot in place. Make sense though.

Anyway, give the damn underwear back! >:[

Two, my amazing but weird looking hit stick that I've finally realized it’s a rigid regular silicone  (you tart lied to me!), still I love it for hitting ants. Give it back! It's limited edition with a special color and shape, you said. I treasure my sword, I mean my dil – wait that sounds so wrong. Well, I need it to torture stupid ants who are shamelessly eating my life (read : cakes and candies)! ASAP!

Three, my baggy jumper with a letter of I'm ier than your husband. I don't know why I love this garment even though the letter makes me sound like papa's es. But, I felt iest when I wore this.

y is my middle name after all, but with this jumper I feel like I can own any human with the snap of fingers 

I used it once to get you down on your knees in the past, remember? *evil smirks*

Four, my fishnet stockings that I bought secretly to satisfy my own curiosity. You stole it after you forced me to wear it at night and took a picture of it. Still can't believe it till now! You owe me that picture!

Five, my red diary which contains you, love and I in one sentence.

Don't have any idea how could I write such nonsense. I must be the most innocent kid on the block that time who got a ert temporary step brother that ruined my poor brain cells in his five years of staying with me.