CURSED

Leo trudged along the pavement with a heavy heart.

He turned into an alley and stopped right before the backdoor of the local bank.

Maybe there’s still a way around this, he thought.

He gripped the handle with shaky hands and opened the door. A familiar large hall greeted him, its porcelain furnishing masking the darkness that truly enveloped his workplace.

Inside, an old lady was hunched over some shelves, humming to herself as she continuously swept her feather duster from left to right.

“Oh, hi there, sweetie,” she grinned, turning to look at Leo. “I haven’t seen Agent Taekwoon in ages.”

“Lady Margaret,” he bowed. “I wish to see the higher-ups.”

“I’m afraid you can’t, Agent.”

He fell to his knees instantly, and a loud thud echoed around the white marble hall. “Please.”

“Agent, you’ve already been blacklisted. It would be better if you focused on completing your task.”

“I…I saw him, Margaret. I saw him for the first time in a year. I miss him so much.”

She raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“I want him by my side again. I don’t care what it takes.”

She turned back to dusting the shelves. “One mustn’t be too greedy, Agent.”

Leo clutched his chest, his hand wet from the tears that dripped down his chin.

“You’re just one soul away from completing your task,” she whispered. “Find Number Fifty and you’ll be granted what was promised. No more and no less.”

“I…”

“You opted for this, Agent. And you’re already so close to your goal, aren’t you? Just one more life and he’ll be saved.”

“Sweetie, the deadline is close,” she added. “Remember what you set out to do. Don’t think about anything else.”

His eyes burnt in anger. “What…I set out to do...”

She nodded.

He gritted his teeth in despair. Is there nothing I can do to change things? I just want Ravi by my side again.

“Sweetie, he can’t,” she said quietly, as if reading his thoughts. “Especially not when he already knows your identity.”

Leo’s eyebrows shot up. “What?”

“That’s why it’s imperative that you focus on your task, Agent. If he knows too much, they might take him back…and when that happens, even you can no longer protect his life.”

“Take him...back??”

“Back to the heavens, Agent, where he truly belongs. Where Karmic order is no longer disrupted.”

“That’s…just downright wicked,” he clenched his fists.

She shrugged. “You can’t defy nature’s tendency to restore order.”

He collapsed on the floor. “They can’t do that…I’ve already sacrificed so many lives for this.”

“Yes, sweetie. Time is running out for you. Remember, Number Fifty…” she repeated. “You have to find it soon.”

He got up, as if in a trance. “Number Fifty…” he chanted under his breath, his blue pupils glowing with fury.

She watched as he headed for the door with the same heavy footsteps.

He loosened his clenched fists, lifting his hands to pat his face dry.

“My poor child,” she sighed softly.

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“Ravi, come out.”

There was silence.

Hongbin knocked on the door for the fifth time. “You can’t be like this.”

“Are you doing fine?” Jaehwan called. “Say something, at least.”

There was no answer.

“It’s happening all over again,” Hongbin sighed. “I don’t think he’d ever respond. We need to get Jung Leo here.”

The two men turned to Hyuk, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

“What? Don’t look at me like that. That man vanished into thin air overnight. He’s not responding to any messages or calls. I can’t get him here even if I wanted to.”

“You started all this, Han Sanghyuk,” Hongbin glared at him. “You need to clear up this mess. Did you even think about the consequences of your actions?”

“What? Would you rather be kept in the dark the whole time?” he fired back. “I meant well. For all of us.”

“You could have at least told me first,” Hongbin hissed. “We could have figured out a better solution together.”

Hyuk kept silent.

“You have no idea how mad I am at myself,” Hongbin continued. “He was my best friend, yet all along I didn’t know what he was going through.” He eyed Hyuk. “And you let me resent him all this time.”

“It’s still so ing incredulous.” He hit the wall in frustration, and both Hyuk and Jaehwan winced at the sight.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Hyuk started. “You think it’s easy being the one wedged in the middle?”

“You- “

“Okay, enough, you both,” Jaehwan interrupted. He stared at the closed door and sighed. “I think Ravi just needs some time- “

The door clicked open, and Ravi peeked through.

The three men stared back, taking in his dishevelled hair and unshaven face.

“Hongbin only,” he said quietly, before disappearing behind the door.

Me? Hongbin mouthed to the other two, pointing at himself. He hesitantly entered the room as soon as Hyuk nodded and Jaehwan gestured for him to go.

The door snapped back shut in a matter of seconds.

“Are you…okay,” Hongbin started as soon as Ravi turned to face him.

“Of course not.”

“W-what are you going to do now?” the younger one asked. “I…I  still can’t believe this. And the guilt t-towards him…it’s eating me up inside really badly.”

Ravi shrugged, his face expressionless. “It’s all my fault. I’m too ashamed to even think about it.”

He sat down on the bed, gazing absentmindedly at the floor. “Tell me, Hongbin…Why was he so ing stupid?”

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“He…he exchanged lives for mine, Hongbin. He let so many people die, just to save my worthless life??” he yelled. “I- I can’t even describe what I’m feeling about this right now. It’s a whole ing mess of emotions. Do I thank him for his sacrifice?? Do I thank him for choosing to protect my life?? For choosing to leave, to sin, to hide everything from us?”

He turned to Hongbin, his anguished expression a frightening sight for the younger one. “I can’t forgive him for his decision, Hongbin. I can’t forgive myself.”

“At least…it proves that he was really devoted to you, Ravi.”

“That is the ing problem! Why was he so foolish?” Ravi gritted his teeth. “He valued my life above everyone else’s. He ing did that, Hongbin. He ing destroyed the lives of so many! And you know what? Ultimately, I know I cannot blame him for this. Because it all started with me. The problem lay in me. If not for my cursed life, so many innocent people would not have died in place of me – I let Jung Taekwoon screw up his own life, I let him screw up everything.”

“And you know what really saddens me?!” he shrieked. “I didn’t even know anything. I spent an entire year grieving over his decision to leave, grieving over the sorry state he left me in. I thought I was the most pathetic person on Earth, but I really was the most harmful and dangerous object to mankind.  I was so selfishly obsessed with feeling sorry for myself, I wasn’t even aware that I had so many unknowing victims dying for me this whole time...”

Hongbin gulped. He could not envision how horrible Ravi must be feeling, given how grave and severe the problem was.

“I-I’m sorry, Ravi,” he replied. “I really want to say that Jung Leo hasn’t ed up big time, but…he really has.”

“But then again…” he added quietly. “He didn’t really have a choice, did he? The things anyone would do for love.”

Ravi glared at him, his eyes widened in shock. “If I knew it, I will have gladly given up my life! Exchanging it for those of fifty people? That’d be the last thing I’d ever even dare to choose…oh god, why did he have to do this?”

“But if you switched roles,” the other replied, eyeing Ravi carefully. “You’d realise that it was not an easy decision to make. You...would not bear to watch him die, would you?”

“I- “

He stopped, mid-sentence, covering his face in exasperation. “I don’t know anymore.”

“I don’t even know what to do with this life of mine now. I feel absolutely disgusted at the fact that I am still in existence, that my life is now stained with the blood of so many helpless souls. It’s a sin that I am still alive and kicking, Hongbin…an unforgivable sin. I feel like I should- ”

“No!” Hongbin gasped. “Don’t…please. Leo did all this just to protect you…to protect this very life of yours. He’s sacrificed so much. You can’t let his efforts be in vain, Ravi…you can’t let all those people d-die…in vain…” He grabbed Ravi by his shoulders. “Whatever you’re thinking…don’t do it, please.”

“But what’s the ing point if it’s eating me up from the inside?!”

Hongbin looked away. “There…there must be a solution to all this. We’ll find it.”

“Solution??” the other scoffed. “What solution? Nothing can reverse the damage, Hongbin. What’s done is done. Or perhaps, you have access to a ing time machine?? Or maybe, you have a way to convince those darned deities up there to demonstrate a little benevolence and- “

He froze. Deities?

He leapt up from the bed and ran to his bookshelf. Whoever wrote that ing book, he thought. I must find him.

“Ravi?? What are you doing?”

He did not answer. He grabbed the book from the last shelf, staring at its plain crimson cover. It’s this cursed book. It’s this cursed book that talked about Taekwoon and talked about Wonshik…

“Nothing about this ing book is normal…” he muttered, scrutinising its cover more closely than ever for any signs of its author’s identity. Its surface, however, was perfectly clean of any text or markings.

Unyieldingly, he hurriedly flipped through the pages, scanning its contents. “Why can’t I find it…?”

“Find what??” Hongbin fired, growing more curious by the minute.

Ravi paused and thought hard. He tried to remember how he had gotten the book – the questionable bookstore in the shadiest part of town, and the equally dubious old lady who had sold it to him.

What was her name…

“Margaret!” he shouted. He turned to Hongbin with his eyes wide. “She's our only hope now.”

“What- who?? What’s going on, Ravi!”

He tucked the book under his arm and ran out of his room, ignoring Hongbin’s calls. He sped past Jaehwan and Hyuk who jumped in shock, only turning back briefly to take a last look at them.

“I’m sorry – I can’t explain right now!” he yelled before he dashed out of the house.

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