There were various tiny boxes of christmas cards, each one different than the next. Jonghyun was frowning as he looked over them, as if he wasn’t quite sure which one to pick. Minho was looking at him fondly, and Jinki was just shaking his head at them both. Sometimes their love made his teeth hurt it was so sweet. He picked up the list of names sitting on the cushion by Jonghyun and followed down the list with his finger for the next name. “You know, I feel like a child of yours, being added onto your Christmas cards like this.”

“Child? No.” Minho hummed, “Adoptive bf yes.”

“Like y’all have any room for anyone else in your hearts.” Jinki scrunched up his nose before bending down to sign the card. The envelope was and pressed closed, and one of the clock stamps Jonghyun just had to have was put in the top corner. After putting the address correctly on the front he called out, “Min, Catch.”

The envelope was caught between his palms and slid into the stack of them in the box by his feet. “We should have adopted you long ago. You’re so much quicker than him.”

“Hey!” Jonghyun protested, finally looking up from his searching, “Picking the right card is serious business.”

“Uh huh.” Minho and Jinki echoed as they both reached for the list. Minho let go with a small smile and Jinki beamed over at him.

It was then a name caught his eyes. “I don’t have to go to the party for long do I?”

“No of course not, but why are you asking?” Jonghyun hummed happily then, finally choosing a card.

Jinki had a tight smile on his face. “There’s only so much Kibum around the holiday’s I can take Jonghyun.”

“Wait, what?” Jonghyun scrambled over to take the list from him, and after a moment of looking his eyes shot over to Minho with a hiss, “I thought we agreed we didn’t agree whether to invite him or not.”

“You never said we couldn’t, or if we were so I put him on the list I don’t-”

“You can’t just add Kibum to the list Minho you know what he does to Jinki.”

“Well excuse me for wanting both my friends at my Christmas Party Jonghyun.”

“Why you-”

“Guys stop!” Both men looked over at Jinki, who’s cheeks were pink and flustered, a little angry. “Please don’t decide if you invite him or not over me. He’s your friend, what happened between him and I shouldn’t change the relationship between you two and him.”

“Jinki, you’re my best friend.” Jonghyun stated softly, “I didn’t want to make one of your favorite times of the year sad.”

“I’m okay,” Jinki gave a little smile, but it was genuine. “I’m not fragile anymore. Thank you for thinking of me.”

“I don’t want you sad on Christmas,” Jonghyun glared at him. “Don’t lie to me right now to save my feelings.”

“I’m not, and I won’t make you choose between Kibum and I.” Jonghyun didn’t look a bit convinced. “I’m in a better place now Jonghyunie, I promise I’ll be okay.”

Jonghyun sighed and plopped back onto the couch with a huff. He squinted over at him, “Okay, but if he says something you don’t like I’ll kick his .”

“Kibum could probably cut you with his tongue babe,” Minho quipped, but there was no venom in his words. He knew his boyfriend was a soft. He couldn’t hurt a fly.

“Don’t try me Cloud Kisser.”

A moment later Jinki softly said, “Hey Jonghyun?”

“Hmm?” Jonghyun hummed as he slowly looked up for the card he was writing on.

Jinki smiled, “Thanks for having my back,” His eyes shifted to Minho, “Both of you. I know it’s been hard on you two to juggle Kibum and I, and I’m sorry I keep making it more difficult.”

“We love you Jinki. Friends protect each other, even from other friends.” Minho smiled over at him warmly. “Just wear that ugly sweater, Kibum won’t come near you.”

Jinki just snorted.

-----

When Christmas Eve came around Jinki spent most of the morning helping them decorate their apartment even more than it already was. Minho got super into the holiday season, and their tree was up the first of November. Snowglobes and easily broken figures were put away in their bedroom, the decorative plates were brought from the cabinets, and Jinki had his hand slapped away with Minho when they tried to steal some food from Jonghyun’s tray.

“How are we supposed to work under these conditions without nourishment?” Jinki scowled at the smaller man carting away the yummy treats.

Minho threw an arm around his shoulders and led him away saying his words loud enough Jonghyun could hear even as they walked further away, “It’s okay Jinki, He’s a mean who won’t get cuddles for a week.”

Jinki snorted when Jonghyun called back, “Good luck keeping that up Mr. Koala!”

“Don’t laugh~” Minho grumbled as he slipped his arm from Jinki’s shoulders.

“You two are almost too cute for me.” Jinki walked over to the box of alcohol on the ground and pulled out a bottle of wine, holding it up with a big smile, “Can this one be mine for tonight?”

“While I have no doubt you could handle that with grace,” Minho curled his fingers around the neck of the bottle just under Jinki’s fingers. “Alcohol isn’t the way to meet Kibum after so long. You’ve worked hard to be in a healthy place, don’t let him push you back.”

“It’s dawning on me that I’ll see him in person,” He gave a tiny smile and let Minho take the wine. “Talking to him a couple months back was bad enough.”

“You talked to him?” The taller man asked as Jinki shuffled over to the couch to plop back against the cushions. He grabbed a pillow and hugged it close, putting his feet up on the table in front of him. “Jinki, hey, did you talk to Kibum recently?”

“Right around the time Joon and I broke up,” Jinki sighed, trying to look anywhere but Minho.”I tried to have with him and I couldn’t do it because all I could think of was how I was Kibum’s still. Joon got angry and left and I was so upset I called the one person I always used to. It was like my heart was in control instead of my head.”

“Oh Jinki,” Minho breathed out, “You never told us about why you and Joon ended things.”

With a soft self-depreciating laugh he gave a small smile, “Kibum’s been the only person to see that part of me, and I wasn’t ready for anyone else to. I tried to force things thinking it would help me move on. I probably should have been able to have with a man I had been dating for a few months but..” Jinki shrugged. “I liked Joon a lot. I just wish I wasn’t so ed up. He was good for me all things considered.”

It was then Jonghyun spoke from his spot against the arch leading into the kitchen, “You aren’t ed up. You were the one left in the dust to pick up the pieces, and you’re doing your best to put the pieces together.”

With a hum Jinki picked at the threading of the pillow in his lap, “I just hope Kibum forgets it. We said things we probably shouldn’t have.”

“What do you mean?” Jonghyun asked as he came over to softly sit on the other end of the couch, his legs being brought up onto the cushion.

“I didn’t think he’d answer at first, by a long shot. It had been 7 months I thought he would have deleted my number honestly,” Jinki bit his lip for a moment before continuing, “But then he answered and hearing his voice and the natural way he wanted to comfort me when he had no reason to.. I broke. I said I still loved him, and he told me he loved me too.”

“Oh.”

Jinki looked up at Minho with a laugh, “Yeah. Oh.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Jonghyun hesitantly asked, eyes big and vulnerable as he shifted closer.

“Crying on the phone to the man who broke up with me after 9 years isn’t one of my finest moments,” Jinki looked over at him softly, “I wanted to forget it honestly.”

“Well I’m going to come hug you now, okay?” Jonghyun warned as he wiggled a little closer. Jinki just laughed and nodded with a smile as his arms opened and the pillow fell off his lap. Jonghyun nuzzled into Jinki with a soft sigh. “I’m sorry you keep having to deal with this.”

Minho came over to the other side and squeezed Jinki’s knee, sending a fond smile over to his boyfriend curled up into their friend’s side. “There’s about an hour before people start to arrive, and we still need to finish getting the booze out.”

Jonghyun glared over at him, “Don’t you see I’m trying to fix the sads by hugging him to death?”

The tall man snorted before pushing off the couch to finish setting up. “You know we could have helped him.” Jinki mumbled quietly.

“Nope, you’re still sad. More hugs.”

-----

The apartment smelled like christmas cookies and the cinnamon candles around the room Jonghyun had to have lit. There was a nice warm glow throughout the apartment. Even with the number of people in the smaller space, it didn’t seem too crowded. Jinki was put on present duty, which meant whenever someone new came in he was to take their gift for secret santa and put it somewhere under the tree. He was organizing the presents carefully to make more room for others when someone tapped his shoulder. He looked over with a smile and took the gift, and it was then he caught sight of who just came in the door. There was ruckus as more people recognized the person they haven’t seen in a while, and Jinki swallowed thickly.

He placed the gift under the tree and stood, brushing his hands off on his pants as he tried not to stare at Kibum. He looked thinner, hair was black and shorter, but the smile he gave Jonghyun greeting him was still the same beautiful one Jinki remembered. Kibum’s eyes shifted from their friend in front of him across the room to look around until they fell on his past. His eyes softened, a gentle smile naturally curving on his lips as his gaze was acknowledged with Jinki’s smile and tiny wave of his fingers. Their view of the other was cut off when someone moved to get something from the kitchen, but it didn’t happen before Jinki saw who was beside Kibum. He had brought Woohyun as his plus one. Jinki used the cover of people to slip out of the balcony doors, pulling them close after putting his glass of wine in the other hand.

The air was chilly, but it wasn’t too bad with the heat coming through the glass doors behind him. Snow flurries fell around him, landing on his hair and cheeks, along his hands and in his wine. He gazed up at the moon, so bright and beautiful, unbothered by the turmoil in his heart. It was the first Christmas party since Jonghyun and Minho began throwing them that he wasn’t here with Kibum on his arm. It was one of many firsts he’d have without Kibum. He didn’t have to look to know who it was when the sound of the party grew louder as the doors were opened and closed again. “Can I join you?”

Jinki took a deep breath, eyes fluttering close before he opened them again with a smile, but he didn’t look over yet. “There’s more than enough space.”

“You know that’s not what I meant Jinki.” Kibum’s voice was warm and strong, so vibrant and safe feeling against the cold of the snow.

It was then Jinki looked over and he knew he failed pretending to seem perfectly put together seeing him so close after so long. “I don’t mind Kibum.”

Then he smiled, and Jinki felt his stomach flip. “I’m glad I got to see you. I was afraid you wouldn’t come.”

“Why?”

“It’s the first year we aren’t here together,” Kibum softly said, eyes a little sad at the muttered words.

“I wouldn’t miss this,” Jinki turned back to lean against the railing with a smile, “Christmas is-”

“Your favorite season.” Kibum finished quietly. After a moment he turned toward Jinki, mouth opening and closing a few times as he tried to gather his thoughts. “Listen about the call I-”

“Can we forget it Kibum?”

“I don’t want to,” With a sigh Kibum began again, “Before everything we were friends Jinki. I know it’ll be hard for us to be friends but… If you ever need me like you did that night I’ll always answer your call. I meant it when I said you’re still my Sugar.”

“Oh..” Jinki took his full glass of wine down in one go and gave a nervous smile, “Thanks. I hope I didn’t cause a fight with Woohyun.”

Hearing his boyfriend’s name coming from Jinki’s mouth startled Kibum. “You know his name?”

“I’ve met him before while waiting for Ming to have lunch one day.” Jinki gave a small smile, “He seems really nice.. I’m happy for you.”

“You don’t have to say that for my benefit.”

“I’m not! Honest,” Jinki looked down at the cars moving slowly under them for a moment before saying, “If he makes you happy in a way I failed to do so in the final moments of us, I can’t feel anything other than happiness for you. Your happiness was all I ever cared about.”

“Oh Jinki~”

Jinki quickly wiped his eyes and flashed a smile, “ I should head back in. Jonghyun will come looking for me when he doesn’t spot either of us in there.”

As he moved past him Kibum turned, and gently wrapped his fingers around Jinki’s wrist, “Sugar wait.”

“Hmm?” Jinki’s heart was pounding in his chest as he turned his head to look at him.

“Can I have a hug?” Kibum looked so hopeful, eyes bright and soft smile on his face. “You’re hurt… they always used to help.”

“I… okay.” When he stepped toward him it was like they fit together like two puzzle pieces. He pushed up a little to put his chin on Kibum’s shoulder, head turned a little so his lips brushed the man’s neck. He could feel Kibum’s breath on his neck as he curled into him, arms tight around him. It was like they never stopped, and Kibum didn’t want to let Jinki go. He did though, and they shared one more soft smile before Jinki quietly said, “Merry Christmas Kibum. I hope you enjoy yourself.”

When he disappeared inside with the festivities Kibum’s heart ached a little as he mumbled, “Merry Christmas Sugar.”

----