He thought if he ignored the knocking at his front door that the owner of the hands would leave. He thought that if he stayed in his bed surrounded by thoughts of the man haunting him he would feel numb soon. Both of those things were stupid to think. When his phone rang from the nightstand behind him he knew exactly who was in front of his door. With a groan, he rolled over and answered the phone. He answered it with a grunt. “Good afternoon to you too Grump. Come open the door before I pick the lock.”

The happy voice of his friend made him queasy. “I don’t wanna.”

“Alright, I’m coming in.” With a sigh he tossed his phone behind him and covered his head with his blanket. He could hear his friend breaking in through the phone and the distant sounds through the empty apartment. Before he knew it there were footsteps approaching him and someone very rude tried to take his blanket away. “Get up!”

“NO!”

“It’s been 3 weeks. You haven’t left this apartment.” The other man explains. His voice softens as pressure is added to the bed. “Just come out to eat with Minho and I. Please Jinki.”

Jinki peeked out from under his blanket and the sight of Jonghyun’s worried face did him in. “Fine, but can we get burgers?”

Jonghyun’s entire being bloomed under his offers acceptance. “Of course.” His nose scrunched up. “Now get up and bathe. You smell horrid.”

A pillow was thrown at his head. It missed, unfortunately.

-------

Minho was waiting down in the car, all smiles and rushing for a hug the moment his boyfriend and Jinki stepped from the elevator into the garage. Jinki’s arms were limp at his side for a moment as the tall man engulfed him, but they slowly came up to return to embrace. “Hey Min.”

“It’s good to see you Jinki.” The smile on his face when they pulled apart was warm and real. It stung a little.

He forced a little smile. “I’m still kicking it.”

Jonghyun was leaning on the car with his arms crossed, “The only condition of him coming out with us is that we get him burgers.”

With an arm thrown over the older man’s shoulders Minho beamed. “I think that can be arranged.”

Jinki wished he could return the smile.

------

When they dropped him off he found himself not wanting to be alone. Part of him wanted to just go and return to his bed, but he knew what he needed was his friends. When he didn’t get out of the car right away both Jonghyun and Minho looked at him worried. The youngest spoke up, “Jinki, is something wrong?”

The man’s lip was being chewed as he looked at his hands. Then his eyes rose and he mumbled, “I don’t want to be alone.”

Jonghyun’s heart bRoke a little. When he looked at his boyfriend he smiled because Minho looked like he had the exact same idea. “Want to come over our place? Sleepover like Junior year of highschool?”

Jinki visibly brightened. “That’d be nice… thank you.”

Minho reached back to squeeze his friend’s knee with a smile. “We love you. We’re here for whatever you need.”

-----

2 months later

“Minho stop looking at his meat like that.” Jonghyun quipped as he returned from the bar with their drinks. He pushed their drinks over to them and wiggled to get where he wanted to be in the booth next to his boyfriend. The meat on the grill was sizzling as Jinki looked over it.

Minho pouted and averted his eyes. “I’m just making sure he doesn’t mess it up.”

Jinki snorted, “Since when have I messed up your meat?”

“He has a point there babe.” Jonghyun softly said as he fought to catch his tiny straw between his lips. Minho’s tiny pout disappeared when he heard Jinki laughing. It had been so long it seemed. They knew just how hard it was on the man. 9 years being apart of an us and now having to be just him. It was something that needed adjusting to. “He always made our meat when we came out with him and Kibum.” As soon as the name fell from his lips Jonghyun looked over at the man guilty. “Oh god I’m so sorry.”

There was a soft smile on Jinki’s face as he flipped the meat over. “It’s okay. You can say his name around me. I’m okay.”

Jonghyun didn’t believe him one bit, but he still returned the smile. The conversation shifted to Minho’s job and this new project he was working on. Jonghyun was leaning heavily into the man and the thought of once looking like that bubbled up into the back of Jinki’s mind. Minho’s voice brought him back out of his thoughts and he tried to focus on his story. “I was kind of nervous having to work with a new person on such a big project, but he seems to really know his stuff.”

“That’s great babe,” Jonghyun softly muttered as he slowly blinked. “Did you get those movies you needed or do we have to stop at the store?”

“No need, Woohyun dropped them off this morning.”

Jinki’s head lifted toward him. His interest perked by the unfamiliar name. “Who’s Woohyun?”

“My partner,” Minho commented absentmindedly as he played with Jonghyun’s fingers. “Kibum’s new boyfriend.” The words left his mouth before he could even think about them. The metal utensil Jinki was using was softly placed on the table as his entire demeanor changed.

Jonghyun gasped softly, “Minho!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t-”

Jinki swallowed thickly before forcing a smile, “It’s okay… um excuse me.” He scooted from the booth and disappeared in the crowd.     

After shooting Minho a glare Jonghyun rushed to catch up with him. That was no way to find out your ex had moved on. He spotted him across the way when he stepped from the restaurant. Jinki was leaning heavily onto the bridge’s railing, shoulders slouched and head lowered. As Jonghyun got closer he heard the man’s attempts to keep composure. He was quickly failing at it. “Jinki,” At his softly spoken name he turned to his left. His eyes were glossy as he stared at his best friend. “He didn’t mean to tell you like that. Neither of us did.”

“How… how long have you known?”

Jonghyun sighed before answering. “Three weeks. When Minho got the partnership with Woohyun.”

Jinki stared out at the river as he asked, “Is he nice?”

The question took Jonghyun by surprise, “Ye-yeah. He’s nice.”

“Good,” Jinki said with a smile before he completely shattered. His hands were pushed up into his hair, fingers curling around the strands as a sob visibly raked his body. “I want… I want him ha-happy, but with me. Is th-that wrong? Should I..I.. I not want that?”

“Oh Jinki.”

“Three months.” Jinki says before he’s in a huge breath. “Three months. I thought.. Thought he would hur-hurt like me. I can’t th-think about him with-without hurting. How can he move on so… so… so quickly?!” Before Jonghyun could say anything Jinki’s face softened. There were tears falling from his eyes and his lip was trembling as his hands shook in front of him, but his voice was soft, broken and beaten sounding when he answered his own question. “Because he doesn’t think of me anymore.”

“Jinki that’s not true. We can’t bring you up to him either. He misses you.”

The smile given to him broke his heart completely. “Thank you, but… if he missed me.. I’d be with him.”

He pushed off the railing with a sigh and started to walk away, but Jonghyun’s fingers curling around hiS wrist stopped him. “Don’t go Jinki. We’re here for you.”

Jinki shook his head and pulled away from his friend’s grip. “I’m alone now. I have to... To get used to it.” Jonghyun watched him walk away until the crowd of the city cut him from his vision.