I used to be deep sleeper. That time, I had to set up more than once clock, but in the end, I couldn't wake up, Gaga had to do that for me. When he did that, I would ask for 5 or 10 mins, then I told him to turn off the bell.

I was really sleepy, then I heard a ring, by habit, I said before I found what myself was saying.

"Gaga, turn the bell off."

"It's my phone."

OMG, I know this voice. Immediately, I woke up, hoped that just a dream, but it wasn't. I didn't know what to do, I have repeatedly denied that I am not Tuan Yien, I said I don't know who is Gaga. Even though Jackson knows I was lying, what I do is let him know that I do not remember anything, no longer care about him. But what I just said?

"Thanks... for driving me home!" - I said and tried to open the seat belt, but it was stuck, at the right time. A gentle hand placed on my arm and unfastened the seat belt easily, how he could do that. I could hear him chuckle.

"Easy. You can hurt yourself." - He talked without looking at me. I didn't know why I was confused. After that, when I looked up, he was staring at me, so hard.

"Wh-what?" - Damn, Mark.

"What for what? I said you will hurt yourself."

He didn't hear that name? So I have to calm myself first. I turned back to take my bad and open the door. But when I planned to go out, he took my hand.

"Remember what I said last time?" - What? Why suddenly said that. "You said you will give someone chance if they want to restart?"

"Hey, I didn't say that. You just..."

"But you didn't say no." - What was that? What a reasoning? Why he acted like that... like when we...

--------------------

"Yien, can I kiss you?"

"Wh-what? Why suddenly ask?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"..."

"I will take that as yes!"

"Hey... um..."

--------------------

"Yien!"

"Wh-why-what? No, I'm not... I..." - I wanted to say I'm not Yien. But when I saw that smile, he knew everything already, why he always takes lead?

"What?" - He tried to hold his laugh, I could feel my cheek went hot. "I mean that."

"You... what are you talking? I don't know what you want. Jackson, I need to leave." - Surprisingly, he did not keep me. When I was about to go in to the building, I heard a closing door sound.

"Yien,... I mean... Mark!" - He called. So that time I could turn around.

"W-what?" - He was leaning on the car, looking at me.

"I know you need time. I won't rush." - I wanted to say something, but I didn't know why I kept silent. Then what he continued was made me frozen again. "But I love when you call me that name."

"Hey!"

"Good night Yien!" - He didn't let me have chance to answer. Then Jackson stepped on the car and left. My heart was beating faster than I thought. After standing there for a while, I came back to my apartment, taking bath and went to bed. But honestly, I couldn't sleep with so much thinking in my head.

Some days after what had happened, I stopped myself from meeting him and flew back to my hometown in LA, one day, my friend said Jackson went abroad too, but he wasn't back to his home, he also didn't find me, it made me a little disappointed, he went to Korea. I was curious about it, but I tried to make myself distracted by studying and working so hard. However, I can not deceive myself that I still care about him, every time I hear news about him, it still hurts my heart.

I didn't plan to meet him again, I guess... but I didn't know why... when Jinyoung sent the recruitment of his company from Korea, I immediately thought about... Gaga. Jinyoung talked to me about his new artist, quite hard and troublesome named Jackson. He also asked if I wanted to see his face he would send me a picture, but I refused, I didn’t want to judge a book just by its cover. At first, I didn't want to take that job, I know that showbiz is so much trouble, too complex for us. Then Jinyoung continued to convince me, he sent me one of Jackson’s song named “Silence”, it was a cover he did just for funt, I wondered why Jinyoung didn’t send me his song, but after hearing that, I was thinking again.

Jinyoung said Jackson was young and quite impulsive, but it was not just that, I didn’t know why, I could feel… painful, empty, struggle and regret inside that voice, also… a familiar feeling, like I heard that voice before. How could a young and impulsive artist could have this kind of feeling, too much emotional. Then we discussed about this position as his manager, and I agreed with that job.

I should be known that I would meet him someday if I came here. But I didn’t know it was so fast. That eyes, I can’t forget for the whole of my life. I tried to calm down as soon as I stepped into this room. As I was planned to work with an idol named Jackson, damn, I was so stupid, that name, that voice, that country, I let me be this stupid!? After seeing Jackson’s picture, I talked to Jinyoung that I wanted to switch, he was so confused, but didn’t refuse. That why PD-nim said I would pair with Yugyeom.

He was staring at me from the start, so hard, I could feel it without looking back. What made me more surprised that he chose me over Bambam. That time I couldn’t say no. After that meeting, I know that things won’t stop there.

From the start, I didn’t know he was mad at me or not, I didn’t know why he picked me but the first time when he said my name and wanted to bring it back, I denied it. Though sometimes he seems to be stuck with something I don’t know, like the red jacket, why he has to be so hard-headed. He’s also a possessive person, the way he treated me with the stuff about Jun.K hyung, he knew that but he kept acting like… I was his. Then as what Jinyoung said, I thought Jackson would try to take me into troubles, but he didn’t. Not only that, he protected me all the time, always and always.

Although sometimes he tried to create some situations to drag us into a story, but it’s not a problem. Conversely, I thought he was… like what he was before, willful, sometimes quite childish, but very sincere. I don’t know if I think so right, but what he did, the way he hold my hand, the way he covered me, the way he called my name… makes me realize that… I can’t forget, as well as my own defense reactions always involves him. When thing happens, I always think about the one and only name.

I can’t tell my feeling about right now, I can’t keep hiding or running from him. But I also can’t forget what happened. Maybe… it’s like what Jackson said, I need time, we need time to find the way out. I know he will bring it back someday.

 

 

 

 

 

The day after, for the special stage, I and Jackson were too busy, we were sticked together but usually talked about working. I can see that Jackson’s really interested in music, he loves music, he loves stage. When Jackson did wrong, he always asked to redo it again and again until it was perfect, what I can do this time is try my best to support him.

We will have a rehearsal today, I sent Jackson the list of artist, I noticed that something was wrong, he stopped at a name but I was not sure who it was. We went to backstage together, after trying the stage a few times, Jackson went to the restroom. Because it took so long so I followed him.

I saw Jackson at the hallway, he was standing there, like frozen, when I was about to call him, I heard someone was talking.

“What? Is Jun.K crazy? Why? Jackson?” – They were laughing. I realized it was Alex – a singer from another company, he was like Jackson, newbie. But I thought he was Jackson’s friend.

“I’m not sure, he exchanged something? You know, the rule of showbiz, maybe not Jun.K, maybe he has someone else, like a rich woman, stay with them, sleep with them…” – What?

It was truly outrageous, why he could say something like this about Jackson, did they know how hard he tried? If I felt that way, I could imagine how Jackson feels. I could see Jackson tighten his fist. I was really angry, I wanted to smash their faces immediately. But before I stepped out, a hand landed on my shoulder to stop me.

“Why are you here? You don’t have to do rehearsal?” – It’s Taecyeon hyung. They was frozen when Taecyeon hyung appeared.

“Su-sunbaenim.” – Taecyeon hyung didn’t care about them, he turned to me and speak out loud.

“Mark, you and Jackson go to backstage. The staffs are waiting for you guys, hurry.” – I nodded lightly and came to Jackson. Alex and his staff were even more surprised to see me and Jackson.

He didn’t say anything, just followed me, he even didn’t look at them. Before we left, Taeyeon hyung suddenly called back.

“Hey, Jackson.” – Then we turned around. “I heard your song with Jun.K, it’s really good. I also watched your rehearsal, you need to focus more on your expression, then it will be perfect. Don’t mind the little things are not worth it!” – He talked while was staring at their faces.

“Thank hyung!” – Jackson smiled. Taecyeon hyung is so nice, but I believed that he also told us the truth. I guessed Jackson felt better then we got back to the stage. I wanted to say something to cheer him up but we didn’t have time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Hey, what’s wrong with Jackson?” – It’s Jaebum.

“Something happened.” – I mumbled.

“Is it about the rule of shobwiz?” – Jaebum smirked. “You will meet that someday, you need to get used to it.”

“Jinyoung did it well right?” – I asked lightly. I knew Jinyoung and Jaebum worked together really good, I heard about this couple before, they’re perfect match.

“Well.” – I don’t know why Jaebum didn’t answer, he just smiled and left.

I found Jinyoung after that, I also asked him, but what Jinyoung said surprised me.

“No, I didn’t handle anything.” – Well, Jaebum was Jackson’s sunbae, about 3 years, I thought they had met something before. As Jinyoung could see my reaction, he continued. “I heard something about it, but I didn’t meet one.”

We were talking while walking, then suddenly Jinyoung bumped into someone.

“Hey, it’s you.” – He said quite excited. But expression on Jinyoung’s face let me know that he didn’t want to meet them. The man next to him stared at me so hard.

“Mark, let’s go!” – This was the first time I saw Jinyoung like this. He’s the kind of person that always be demure and gentlemanly, even if he really doesn’t like you, he still acts cool all the time. He took my hand and lead me forward the stage.

“Wait. I just want to talk. Who is this cutie?” – He turned to me.

“Not that again, you and Daejong. Leave us alone.” – Jinyoung tried to cover me. I guessed the man next to him named Daejong.

“Don’t be jealous. I just wanna know. You’re always my favorite.” – He winked and tried to touch Jinyoung’s cheek, but Jinyoung pushed his hand away.

“Please be polite, I don’t want to argue here.” – Jinyoung said with a strong and low voice, I could feel him angry, then he turned to me. “Let’s go Mark.”

What just happened? He left me to Jaebum’s place, checked out if he was doing well. I saw Jaebum was whispering something with Jinyoung, I guessed he tried to asked what was happening, but Jinyoung didn’t say anything. Then he turned around finding something. I could see Jaebum’s expression changed immediately. He was mad, really, I could tell. Jinyoung was surprised too, he tried to stop Jaebum. But before Jinyoung could do something, Jaebum came straight to that one and said something to him, I heard his low and angry voice was raising.

What was going on?

I saw me and Jackson also came to stop them, Yugyeom, Bambam too. All of us tried to separated Jaebum from him.

“Stop following Jinyoung. I’m warning you.” – Jaebum almost yelled. Jinyoung was standing there taking his hand back. Yugyeom and Bambam was surprised, I could feel Bambam was scared too. Only Jackson, I thought he knew something.

“Hyunjin, I think you should go.” – Jackson talked to him. Hyunjin, I think I know this name. Surprisingly he was not angry.

“Hyunjin, let’s go!” – Daejong, the man we met before, he didn’t talk much, he let go and Hyunjin followed him.

Jaebum glanced at Jinyoung then he pushed all of us away and left. Jinyoung looked at Jackson, then he nodded, I knew he couldn’t talked to Jaebum then, so Jackson followed Jaebum to the room.

“I’m sorry.” – Jinyoung whisper. All of us came to comfort that everything was not his fault. Sewing for us, what happened was behind backsatge, this was rehearsal, so none of reporter could come to take picture. I knew someone will talk about that, but it will become a rumor and seemed like Hyunjin didn’t want to expose the thing, so I thought it will be alright.

But all of us were surprised and shocked. I think Bambam and Yugyeom never see his hyung being like this, even in mind, they will never imagined this scene. Jaebum is pretty feisty but he controls everything so good. When someone was threatened by Jaebum, it means Jaebum really wants to beat them up, so hard. So we kept silent for a while, then I left Yugyeom and Bambam with Jinyoung, I had to check if they were fine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were talking while I came to find Jackson.

“If that happens again…” – It was Jaebum. But I thought Jackson calmed Jaebum down, because his voice was not strong and sharp as before.

“He’s waiting for you.” – Then Jaebum left, suddenly Jackson turned to my place, he knew me here. “Come here.”

I walked toward him and sat down. Before I could say something, Jackson took my hand.

“Hey.” – I started to think that what I can say in front of Jackson beside working is just “hey”. I tried to take it back but he tighten it.

“Just leave it like this for a while…” – He didn’t look at me. “Please.” – Then I let him take my hand… for a while.

A silence passed. When I was about to take my hand back…

“You never see Jaebum like that, right?” – Honestly, I was curious. “It’s because of Hyunjin touch the one he cares about so much.”

“Jinyoung?”

“You heard what they said right?” – What is he talking about? – “The rule of showbiz.” – He meant… Alex.

“Do… don’t keep what they said in mind.” – I wanted to say more. “Not… not that you’re bad… I mean… you’re better than what they said.” – I lowered my head, actually, it was hard to say something like this. “More.”

Then we kept silent again. I wanted to say something more than that, I wanted to say that he’s really good, he’s so so good. I heard that song, it fit his voice, so strong and emotional. What they talked about him was wrong.

Suddenly he chuckled, it made me embarrassed.

“You’re trying to comfort me?” – He turned to me and smiled. “The rule of showbiz.”

“Jinyoung said he didn’t meet one?” – Seemed like I missed something.

“Because someone tried to cover him.”

“Jaebum?” – Jackson didn’t answer.

“When Jaebum hyung debut first time, there was a big contract for him. He could come to America for a single CD, working with international artist, it was a big project, Hyunjin was one of sponsors.” – I knew that, Jinyoung said Jaebum used to have the opportunity to be more famous, but then it was canceled. “But he didn’t take it.”

“Because of… Jinyoung.” – I can tell. Jackson just nodded.

“Hyunjin wanted to have a date with Jinyoung.”

I heard about some gay couples in showbiz, also some sleeping stuff, exchange,… but I didn’t imagine that on Jinyoung, a manager? I thought it only happens with artists, with dirty companies which use artists as a tool for earning money. In JYP, as I heard what Jinyoung said, PD-nim will try his best to protect his artists, unless they choose their “way” to be, company won’t intervene, but soon they will leave the company because of dissent. Looks like I'm pretty naive. We are manager, we have to deal with all the stuffs. Showbiz is like the other things, it has both dark and light side. We have to be flexible.

I don’t know how Jinyoung means to Jaebum, but it must be more than we can imagine, he exchanged a part of his future because of him.

“Jinyoung didn’t know about it. He’s just angry because Hyunjin took back the sponsorship for Jaebum and he went direct to flirt with Jinyoung.” – That meant I had to keep secret.

“Seems like Jaebum did more than what we know.” – I mumbled to myself. I wondered something too, but…

“What? Why you’re thinking so hard.” – Jackson brought me back.

“No. If…” – I didn’t know what I was going to say.

“If it was me, I won’t let anyone hurt you.” - So cheesy. My heart was beating so fast then.

“You…” – I stood up and was leaving, but he grabbed my wrist. He kept saying cheesy thing.

“I mean it. I understand Jaebum hyung’s feeling. I don’t think I can be calmed like him did.”

Then he took my hand and we came back to the rehearsal. Don’t ask why I let him lead me, I didn’t know too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We did all rehearsal and went back to company. Yugyeom, Jaebum and Jackson went to practice room, Bambam was with them. I was about to leave too but PD-nim suddenly called me and Jinyoung to his room.

“Take a look.” – He threw an envelope on the table. He glanced at me so I opened it then both of us was frozen.

“Wh-when was this?” – It was some pictures from the fight, so quick. We just came back. When and who sent that?

“Jinyoung, why you’re so careless?” – PD-nim said in worry.

“I’m… am sorry. That wasn’t Jaebum’s fault.” – He clenched his fist, Jinyoung seemed guilty.

“What do they want?” – They sent us, that means they want something from us?

“I paid for it. But I’m not sure will they send it again or not? You know what I mean Jinyoung?” – PD-nim looked at him so seriously. “And Mark, learn from that.” – He glanced at me, in a second, I thought PD-nim knew something about us, I mean… Jackson.

When there was just me and Jinyoung, a silence passed.

“I know Jaebum tried to cover me the whole time.” – Jinyoung didn’t look at me, he was busy playing with his hand.

“I think you care about Jaebum too, like the way he favors you.”

“No, he’s not.” – Jinyoung chuckled, he tried to deny.

“Yes, he’s. You all know that.” – Jinyoung didn’t say anything. “Then why you keep acting like nothing happened.” – He was surprised. “Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“It’s so ok.” – He smiled then continued. “I want Jaebum to reach his dream… I want him has more chances to be famous, you know that, if you are the reason for someone to give up their dream, what you can do for them?” – That why he always acts like he doesn’t care about Jaebum that much.

“Sometimes, what we think we do well for others… is that what they want?” – I didn’t know why I was saying that. We kept looking each other for a while, Jinyoung was quite shocked, but he smiled later and let a sigh out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The day finally came, after rehearsal, I’m glad that there was nothing happened. We had to hurry, because today is a festival, so all of artists have to dress elegant or fit to their song. They – Yugyeom, Jaebum and Jackson will have a collaboration, so me, Bambam and Jinyoung had discussed about their outfit. They will wear leather jacket with sparkling accessories, skinny jean and white T-shirt, y and manly. I picked the red one for Jackson, he was really happy to see it, he fits with this color so much. Jaebum was with the buff color and Yugyeom with dark blue. They all look attractive. I almost yelled when I saw Jackson, I had to slap myself, why did I act like a girl in high school met her crush first time?

“How do I look like?” – When he asked me, I didn’t say anything, then he had to bring my jaw up. “Don’t do that.” – He shook his hand in front of my eyes. Why everything changes so fast, I can’t catch up?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally they did the stage, it was so so so good. I can tell. The fanchant was so loud, I could hear from backstage. Yugyeom was so excited and Jaebum too, Jackson was so happy, I could see him try to act cool all the time, but his smile was like a child.

“How was my expression?” – He asked in excited.

“What? Perfect.” – I patted his shoulder. This was the first time I did that to him, Jackson was surprised but also happy. “Hurry, you have to repair for the next stage with Jun.K hyung.” – I pushed him back to the waiting room.

Jackson was dressing. All of staffs were out to repair, only me stayed there to calm him down.

“Did you see my bracelet? The black one with text on it.”

“On my bag, I put that in there, in the black velvet box.”

“Is this…” – He found it or not, I came to help him.

Suddenly Jackson stopped, I bumped into his back. Jackson was looking at something so hard. What was it? I looked over his shoulder, a envelope was on his table.

“What is this?”

It was pink, before I could say something, he opened and read it. I couldn’t see anything from that angle. I just saw a name on it.

Daejong.

“Damn it!” – I rarely hear him curse. “He’s chasing you.”

What? Who is chasing me? I tried to take it from him, I need to know what happened.

Would you mind to let me have a dinner with you? – Daejong.

What? This was for me?

“I have to talk to him.”

“Hey, wait, stop. I won’t go, then nothing will happen ok?” – I had to calm him down first.

“What? He starts chasing you. You know who the hell are they? They will do what they did to Jinyoung.” – Jackson almost yelled.

“I told you, nothing happened, so skip it, ok?” – I tried to explain.

“What? How can I skip it? He won’t stop chasing you, Yien ah.” – Jackson was annoyed, I can tell from his angry voice.

“So what do you want me to do?”

A silence passed. When I was about to say something, Jackson took the letter, torn it into pieces and head toward the door.

“I will find him.”

“Stop, Jackson, don't make it worse.”

Then I heard a bang. I was frozen. He broke the glass vase on the table by just his hand. He was really angry and I couldn't react just in time. Later, I heard a door bang, Jinyoung and Jaebum jumped in immediately. Jackson glanced at me so hard. I didn’t know what to do, my tongue was stuck. When Jackson said he can’t be patient like Jaebum, I didn’t think he was serious.

What I can think right now is Jackson, his hand hurts, he is going to have a mix stage.  

“Jinyoung, find the emergency kit, call staffs to clean everything up, ask stylist for a new shirt. Don't let anyone in.” – Jaebum talked to Jinyoung then he looked at me, I saw Jackson’s sleeve was torn in a line. “Mark, come with Jinyoung, too.” – Then Jinyong dragged me with him.

Before I left, Jackson still kept his head down, he didn’t say anything but I could feel him shiver because of Deajong’s letter or... me. In just a second, I thought this was the Jackson who I first met when I came to Korea, cold, stubborn and care-less.

I thought this was ended up like normal, but I was wrong, troubles just arrived. Because I was so shocked, Jinyoung kept silent too, he suddenly patted my shoulder.

“It will be alright. Jaebum will calm him down.” – I lightly nodded my head. But when we looked up, another trouble came.

“Sandy?” – I said it out. She didn’t have schedule today, in this festival, why she was there. 

 

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Hi everyone, 

I updated a new chapter. I have to rewrite it the second time, because at first, I change the plot to bring the old Jackson back for some chapters, they have to be changed slowly. 

I also write another new story for Markson, a vampire stuff. I won't drop all of my stories, just because of my busy stuffs so I can't update it frequently. But I will try my best to write it! 

Please let me know how you feel. Hope you like it and thanks for your comments, subscribers.

<3