Chanyeol doesn't hear, as he's too busy with the kids. But he does notice something is different in Baekhyun's eyes when he gets back. They're intense in a fond way. He feels scrutinized, assessed, but he doesn't feel judged. He sits down next to the smaller boy, noticing the changed quality up close. He wonders what could've happened to make Baekhyun change so quickly, to make the air turn awkward. 

Chanyeol takes the chance to reveal why they'd travelled the entire way to visit the orphanage, even though the thought of Baekhyun's reasoning sends a pang through his stomach.

"Actually, Baekhyun wanted to know if you were aware of any . . ." Chanyeol takes a deep breath, dreading what he's about to say. "Any ways he can get home?" 

Minseok looks confused, eyes downcast and forehead crinkling. "All the way home? Back with the stars?" 

He looks up to stare at Baekhyun, disbelieving. 

"Why?" he asks skeptically. Chanyeol can feel Baekhyun stiffen next to him and he panics for a minute, the urge to reach out for Baekhyun strong. What was wrong?

"I hate the thought of having no way to go home. It's scary here -- I mean, it's nice, but scary sometimes. I'm not used to anything here." 

It doesn't even sound right to Baekhyun after he says it. He knows the real reason he wants to leave: I'm scared of these feelings. I'm scared of Chanyeol regretting taking me in. I'm scared that he will never feel the way I do. I need to leave. 

Minseok sits quiet for a long while. Finally, after a short eternity, Minseok responds quietly, "If you want to go home, you need to wait until the full moon, and then ask the moon. She'll let anyone go back, as long as they wish it. But that's the thing, Baekhyun, no one has ever wished --" 

"Thank you," Baekhyun cuts him off, fearing that something will slip out of the man's mouth that will give him away to Chanyeol. If there's one thing that scares him more than the thought of Chanyeol resenting him, it's Chanyeol knowing his feelings and not reciprocating them. 

He can't believe it's that easy. Just ask, and he can leave. Chanyeol can't believe it either. He'd been secretly hoping there was no way, even though he knew that made him a selfish, awful person. 

"The next full moon is . . ." Chanyeol trails off, looking something up on his phone. Baekhyun doesn't notice the way his hands are trembling. "Tomorrow." 

It gets silent then, an uncomfortable sort of quiet that makes Chanyeol swallow a lump in his throat and Baekhyun shift in his seat. 

"Are you going to go back?" Minseok dares to ask what's on Chanyeol's mind. He winces at the pain in Chanyeol's eyes when he says it, flinches when he sees the fear in Baekhyun's. 

"I think I should," Baekhyun whispers. "I'm not made to be here." 

I'm not made to stay with Chanyeol. Not when he's nice and perfect and could have an amazing life without me clinging on to him all the time. Not when he'll never want me back.

"Baekhyun, I think you should think about it more. Maybe wait another month -- you never know what could happen in a month," Minseok sounds desperate, as if he's begging Baekhyun in place of Chanyeol. "So much happens in a month." 

Chanyeol wants to nod, wants to agree, but he feels frozen in his seat, the thought of Baekhyun leaving overwhelming him.

Baekhyun shakes his head fitfully, obviously agitated at where the conversation is going, and stands up in a rush. "Chanyeol, I want to go home. Let's go." 

Chanyeol laughs -- or is it a sob? he can't tell -- at the irony. He wants to go home. It makes anger bubble up, thinking of the fact that Baekhyun desperately turns to him, asks to go home, but will leave him in a day. 

What's worse is that the anger doesn't make him want to scream; he just wants to cry. He doesn't want to be a baby, but it's so hard to avoid it when he's looking at Baekhyun, knowing that every second is one of the last. 

"Let's go," he agrees, bowing pathetically to Minseok in an attempt to maintain any semblance of a decent conversation. Minseok watches with wide eyes after the two, regretting everything he'd said. 

Chanyeol can't help it. Once he starts the car and backs out of the driveway, the tears start. I hate myself so much. Stop crying, Chanyeol. Don't be a baby. He was never yours from the start. 

If Baekhyun notices, he doesn't say anything. He stares out of the window, no matter how dizzy it makes him, latching onto any thought besides what he'll be doing in 24 hours. 

The ride home is a rush of Chanyeol sniffling softly, humming along to the songs on the radio, and Baekhyun avoiding looking in his direction.

Somewhere in the middle of the drive, Baekhyun shifts slightly towards the drivers seat, leaving his hand out in a sort of surrender. Chanyeol stares at it. He wants to hold it, wants to beg Baekhyun to rethink, but he doesn't want to make him agitated again. He doesn't want to be the reason Baekhyun is more eager to leave. 

He ignores it. 

Baekhyun gets the message and turns away again, facing the window. Chanyeol acts like he doesn't see the soft shaking of Baekhyun's shoulders or hear the whimpers. 

-- 

The sun is setting by the time they get home, a soft orange and yellow masterpiece. It makes Baekhyun a little awestruck, looking at the way the sun dips behind the jagged edges of trees in the distance, the warm-toned paint spilled across the canvas. He absentmindedly realizes it's his second to last here. And, if they keep behaving like they have been, probably the last with Chanyeol by his side. 

They get out of the car silently, Chanyeol leading the way to the door and using his keys to unlock it. It's silent and cold and dark. Mrs. Park is working late, Baekhyun realizes. They make their way up the stairs single-file, slowly. 

Once they're in Chanyeol's room, Baekhyun turns to him, mouth open, but no words spill out. Chanyeol sits on his bed and watches as the boy's mouth opens and closes, scared of what he will say. 

"Chanyeol, I'm sorry," he finally spits out. Chanyeol's eyes lock onto his and they exchange looks of fear. 

"What for?" he asks tenderly. He wants Baekhyun to tell him he's sorry for wanting to leave, that he won't do it. 

"For burdening you," Baekhyun looks down at his feet. "I've just been clinging onto you and using you and --" 

"It's fine." 

Chanyeol lays down, back turned to Baekhyun. He regrets it immediately, cursing himself into oblivion as he hears Baekhyun settle into sleep on the floor. It feels like hours pass. Maybe it's minutes. Chanyeol can't keep track, not when all he can focus on is Baekhyun is leaving and I can't breathe. Time ticks by, his heart thumping, and he turns around to see Baekhyun asleep, dried tears on his cheeks. 

Chanyeol lifts the boy to the bed and settles in next to him, eyes running over the face that he's known almost his entire life. He's so scared. He looks at the long eyelashes, the little nose. He watches the way Baekhyun breathes, is enthralled by tiny mole above his lip and the way he smacks his lips together. He can't get the thought of Baekhyun leaving out of his mind. 

He leans forward slowly, pressing a soft kiss to Baekhyun's forehead. His heart swells, knowing that any other day this would have made him feel domestic and even more in love. But now it hurts. He's surveying Baekhyun's face out of adoration, but also out of necessity. He doesn't want to forget anything; he can't afford to forget a single angle of his chin or curve of his lip. 

He sleeps on the floor that night, sobbing into his pillow for a good fifteen minutes before sheer exhaustion takes over. 

--

The next day is almost unbearable, even from the start. Chanyeol wakes up, extremely late, to a crick in his neck and a message on his phone reading, "Grandma called. I'll be there all day! Be good!" 

He looks up to the bed and sees Baekhyun's tuft of hair peeking out from plush blankets. His heart leaps, registering this as the last time he'll wake up to Baekhyun. 

The boy stirs silently, sending Chanyeol leaping to his feet, ready to evacuate the room and the awkward how-did-I-get-in-the-bed conversation. 

It's only ten minutes later, when Baekhyun comes downstairs and makes puffy eye contact with Chanyeol, that things return to normal. At least, as normal as they could be. Baekhyun sits down next to Chanyeol on the couch and crunches loudly on a bowl of cereal, hair wild and cheeks pink. 

"I'm going to miss you," Baekhyun whispers around his spoon. Chanyeol looks over, struck with the raw sadness in his voice, eyebrows raised. 

"Then why go?" Chanyeol regrets it immediately, turning away from Baekhyun in embarrassment. Baekhyun studies the taller boy impassively.

"I don't think I'm meant to stay here, Chanyeol," Baekhyun lies. "I never really adjusted. And I've just been a burden to you and your mom this entire time. I think it'd just be better if I went back home, if you could live your life normally." 

Chanyeol goes quiet and focuses on his cereal. It's almost a full two minutes before he pipes up angrily, "I won't be able to live normally. Will the dream of you ever go away? Or will I have to look at you everytime I close my eyes until I die? I can't live like that." 

It comes out harsher than expected. Baekhyun's eyes fill with tears and he stands up quickly, leaving the room. Chanyeol wants to scream, and so he does, throwing a pillow on the floor. He feels like a child, but, god, he can't just let Baekhyun act like leaving was a quick trip to the store. If Baekhyun regretted it, he'd have practically an eternity to get over it. Chanyeol only had seventy years left, and he's positive it'd take longer to get over Baekhyun. 

They spend the day like that, angrily sitting in different rooms and ignoring the other. Chanyeol can't help but cry some more, scared that Baekhyun will be too angry to say goodbye. Baekhyun sobs in Chanyeol's room the entire day, laying in his bed and breathing in his scent. He thinks that maybe he should stay, but then the thought of Chanyeol falling in love with someone else and moving away comes to his mind. 

Chanyeol is perfect. He's tall and sweet and full of so much love. Chanyeol could have anyone. And Baekhyun has no one but Chanyeol. If the taller ever fell in love or decided to move on, Baekhyun would be left alone, too far gone in his feelings. 

It's only as the sun sets that Baekhyun can hear footsteps running upstairs almost frantically, obviously Chanyeol and obviously flustered. 

"Baekhyun?" the voice is so deep and so panicked that Baekhyun sits up in bed immediately, eyes searching for the tall boy. He jumps when the door to Chanyeol's bedroom is suddenly flung open. Chanyeol stands there, eyes red and hair messy. He notices the sigh of relief that he lets out as soon as their eyes meet. 

"I didn't know if you left yet," Chanyeol explains desperately, looking around the room as if something would pop out. "I know the moon's not up yet, I was just worried and I had to check --" 

Baekhyun hops off of the bed, practically jumping into Chanyeol's arms. It feels foreign, even though they've only been fighting for a day, to be held in Chanyeol's arms again like this. 

"I'm here," he whispers into the taller boy's shoulder. Chanyeol notices the way he's shaking and he wraps a large hand around Baekhyun's waist, holding him close like he'd been dreaming of. 

"Can . . . can you at least show me where you'll be?"

Baekhyun looks up, eyes slightly wet. He nods solemnly, pulling Chanyeol by the hand to the window. Chanyeol feels like if Baekhyun has to leave, maybe this is the best way to do it. To hold him and see where he should look in the sky so that he's always with him. It leaves Chanyeol's heart burning, but maybe it's better to accept it like this.

"Over there," Baekhyun points somewhere to the right, up high. It hasn't risen yet but Chanyeol knows it's near where the full moon will be. "You just have to look for that big, bright star. That's Jongdae, I think. I'm a little above him." 

"Are you bright?" Chanyeol asks softly. He knows the answer because he's watched how Baekhyun glows and shimmers on Earth. He knows that he has to be ten times more brilliant than any other star. 

"I don't think so. Maybe that's why I came here," Baekhyun's eyes get watery. It makes Chanyeol's jaw clench uncomfortably. "Maybe that's why they sent me here. Because no one on Earth would notice if I went missing?" 

Chanyeol makes an angry sound, huffing. "You're bright, Baekhyun. I see you shine every day. You stand out on Earth. I know you stand out up there. You're the most beautiful, I know it." 

Baekhyun turns to him then, eyes still wet but full of something that looks too familiar. Chanyeol watches him break into a small smile, even though his hands are shaking in a way that is definitively not happy. 

"Do you think I'm beautiful on Earth?" Baekhyun whispers. He doesn't know if it's because of the way Baekhyun is shaking softly, or if it's the way he asks the question, but Chanyeol can't stop himself from saying it. 

"I think you're beautiful anywhere. You shine here and you shine there. You are the light of my life --" he chokes a little bit, unable to comprehend the fact that he's ing saying it. "I love you." 

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hahahahahahahhahahahahahah SUFFER 

bye yall :^)