It was only one week into his first job but Jongdae was already tired of taking the public transport every morning and evening to and from work. That was why his new resolution was to buy that Audi he was eyeing since forever. Sure, it was an imported car and that meant it would take loads of effort to save up for it, but at least it would be much more convenient for him and he could drive it in style. 

 

He was going to try his best and work his hardest. After all, he had worked so hard to get this new job. Went through interviews, wrote a report... 

 

Rubbing the WS Trainee pass he hung around his neck everyday with his thumb, he rolled his chair nearer towards his desk and decided to continue with work. The other trainees were already at their computers, with one staring at the screen with full concentration, and another jabbing his keyboard hard and fast. The third was reading something on his desk, and the other Jongdae couldn't really see, but he assumed he was working hard as well. 

 

Jongdae wanted to try the black bean noodles at the Chinese restaurant near WS Building today, but he wasn't sure if the other trainees would be staying in today as well. They all seemed to work so hard it was almost scary. Since the second or third day of work, all of them (with the exception of Jongdae) had stayed in the office during lunch to do their tasks. 

 

"Do you want to try the black bean noodles near the office today during lunch? I heard its really good!" Jongdae exclaimed as he looked up from his computer screen. 

 

His question was answered with the clacking of fingers on keyboards and the whir of the air-conditioner, but no words whatsoever. 

 

"Okay, I'll have it by myself again, then," Jongdae shrugged and muttered in a small voice. 

 

No one even glanced up from whatever they were working hard on. Jongdae returned to work. 

 

Only a few moments later did a small voice spring up. "Don't you have work to do?" 

 

He didn't know what to respond. 

 

In his 20 years of his life, Jongdae had never doubted himself. Everyone knew him as the outspoken, humorous and confident Kim Jongdae. In school he couldn't care less about what the girls thought of his trolls — his friends (Chanyeol, especially) enjoyed the fact that he trolled others, so he liked what he was doing. His grades were never a cause of worry too, and Jongdae always knew he, well, didn't look all that bad. He and Baekhyun also always fooled around during basketball trainings, so he knew it was impossible to be one of the stars in the team. And he was completely okay with it. 

 

But for the first time that day, Jongdae felt a pinch of doubt. 

 

And this time, it was about himself. 

 

Maybe no one cared for humour anymore these days. Maybe he shouldn't have been confident about working in WS. Maybe he wasn't putting in enough effort like he thought he was. Maybe he was actually lazy, but he didn't know it. Maybe the other trainees just made better workers. 

 

Maybe. 

 

 

Lunchtime, and Jongdae stayed in the office — until the last twenty minutes or so. He stood up, pushed his chair back, and tried again, with an even friendlier tone this time. "No one's going out for lunch? I'm hungry." 

 

His team leader, Moon Bin, returned from his lunch just as Jongdae posed the question. Standing behind two trainees, he replied on behalf of them. "Jongdae, you can go for lunch," he said, raising one eyebrow. "The other trainees are working hard. Am I right?" 

 

Moon Bin patted one of them hard on the back, making him cough uneasily. He stared at the other, then bent down to the level of their ears, smiling. 

 

"I'm so glad to see you all trying your best and working so hard. Am I right?" Moon Bin patted the other one this time, and she adjusted her glasses nervously. 

 

"Go for lunch, Jongdae. I'll stay with these hard-workers, who don't slack off at all times. Am I right?" 

 

There came that question again. This time, however, directed to Jongdae. Hesitating for a second, he nodded slowly and put his hands behind his back, unsure of what to make of the situation. 

 

"What are you waiting for? I thought I told you to go?" Moon Bin raised his eyebrows again, clutching onto the chairs of the same two trainees. 

 

"I-I'll go eat and come back quickly," Jongdae stuttered, before bowing and stumbling out of the office. 

 

Somehow the tartness of Moon Bin's words and the animosity of the whole situation was nauseating. Black bean paste noodles didn't even seem the least tempting to him now. 

 

But Jongdae still made his way to the Chinese restaurant anyway. He took a few bites of the seafood noodle soup he had ordered in place of the black bean paste noodles, but it tasted a little too bland that day, and his mouth dried up every few seconds or so. 

 

On the way back, he bought himself a lunchbox. One big enough to store a few sandwiches, and that could be reused and reused. No more Slacker Jongdae, he had decided. He was going to stay in to do work like the rest did. 

 

 

 

That was two years ago. And that was the reason Jongdae didn't ever go out for lunch — not until recently, at least. Honestly, he had learnt over the years (of course he had) that he didn't actually have to have so little confidence in himself. Jongdae could've gone out for lunch and done other things and still work hard, but it was just something about that incident that made going out for lunch something he repulsed. For some reason, a small anxiety formed whenever lunch out of the office was even merely mentioned. 

 

Maybe it was a habit that had formed. He didn't know. 

 

Jongdae finished up his iced chocolate and placed it gently on the empty side of the bench, careful not to disturb the girl on his shoulder. Her sobs had quietened down to silence after a while, and it seemed that she had fallen asleep... For the second time on Jongdae's shoulder. 

 

He felt his heart skip. 

 

"Hyejin," he whispered. "You're asleep, right?" 

 

No response. He knew she probably was, anyway. 

 

Jongdae reached out his free hand, and in hesitation let it hover above her for a while before gently her hair. Hyejin didn't have the sort of hair that cascaded down her shoulders all smooth and wavy (in fact, her hair was always in a small low ponytail to prevent it from frizzing up), but the sensation of it flowing through his hand still made the tips of Jongdae's fingers tingle. He wondered if she could feel the rapid thumping of his heart. 

 

"So…" He started, still playing with loose strands of Hyejin's hair, "Just now you mentioned you weren't pretty, right?" 

 

He smiled shyly. It was good that she couldn't hear him because he knew what he was about to say were things she wouldn't have dreamed he would and would probably have cringed at even if she had. Cheesy. Tender. Fluffy and pink. 

 

"Maybe you think so just because you're too used to your own features. If you'd looked from my perspective on the first day of work..." 

 

Jongdae felt his face heat up and he stopped. What had Hyejin done to him that he would be whispering confessions to a sleeping girl?  

 

"S-So basically, I think you're really beautiful. Okay?" He was aware of the pink tint that had probably formed on his face. 

 

"Hyejin, someone should really grab you by the shoulders and tell you how amazing you are one hundred times. No, scratch that — one million times. If you need me to do that do you just so you could stop feeling bad about yourself like this, I will. And sincerely." His voice had become resolute. 

 

"You should be proud of yourself," Jongdae continued. 

 

 

"Because – because you've made a man like me fall in love with you."  

 

 

 

_____________________________________________________

 

 

 

Jongdae still had no idea how he had ended up on an unfamiliar bed in some room that smelled like antiseptic, with it being somewhere in between two and three in the morning, Baekhyun at the counter signing papers and Chanyeol and Kyungsoo by his bed. One hand of his was wrapped in a cast, the other tubed into a drip. 

 

The clearest recent memory he had was of Hyejin on his shoulder, of them on a small bench, of watching her sleep. 

 

"Uh, bro. You look a bit creepy smiling to yourself." Chanyeol blinked at Jongdae, and he self-consciously covered his mouth with his hand. 

 

"I still don't understand how you could walk right into a motorcyclist's path. Were you even awake when you crossed the road?" Kyungsoo said, handing Jongdae a cup of water, before jerking it back to himself. "Oh, I forgot. Your arm is screwed." 

 

"Tsk, I can still use my left arm," Jongdae said, then gazed at the right one wrapped in a cast that felt more of stubborn cement than anything. "This one is screwed though." 

 

"Who can't tell?" Kyungsoo joked, then handed the water to Jongdae anyway. "I'm not going to feed you anything, even if you were hoping. Too bad. Drink this yourself." 

 

"I wasn't even hoping," Jongdae scoffed. 

 

"Good. And count yourself lucky. The doctor said nothing else is damaged besides your fractured arm, and after a few more tests tomorrow morning you'll be discharged." 

 

"Since it's like this, you all should go back home first. Don't worry about me. Like the doctor said, I'm fine. There's work tomorrow for you, isn't there?" Jongdae said, eyeing both of them. "It's like, in the middle of the night where you should be sleeping." 

 

"And I can't sleep here?" Chanyeol asked, burrowing his head into his arms, which he had rested on a corner of Jongdae's ward bed. Jongdae smiled to himself — he had to admit, Chanyeol, deep voice and all, was rather adorable sometimes. 

 

"Also, Baekhyun and I have taken leave, and Kyungsoo doesn't have to work tomorrow. So nope, you're wrong, we don't have to work. We're each other's guardians since our families aren't in Seoul, don't you remember?" Chanyeol mumbled in his sleepy voice, moving his head to rest on Jongdae's good arm instead. Jongdae would have ruffled his hair except that he couldn't. 

 

"What even exactly happened, Kim Jongdae?" Baekhyun burst into the room then. Jongdae shrugged casually, but somehow a small smile had found its way round his face again. 

 

"Baek, I think you better tell the doctor that his head is not normal too. This is the second time I've caught him smiling to himself," Kyungsoo said, eyeing Jongdae. "Spit it, Jongdae. What happened? Seeing as you're smiling foolishly, were you with…" 

 

"Hyejin!" Chanyeol and Baekhyun shouted simultaneously, then burst into fits of laughter. 

 

"Screw off! Why are you doing this to me?" Jongdae whined, embarrassed. 

 

"Because it's obvious," Kyungsoo quipped blatantly. 

 

"So, love boy. Why were you with your trainee after work hours? And how come you ended up in an accident like this?" 

 

Jongdae cleared his throat. 

 

It was impossible to tell the boys he got hit because he was thinking of Hyejin. 

 

Because the fact that Hyejin fell asleep in his arms was too much for his heart to handle. 

 

Because he was so distracted by Hyejin's smile after she had woken up that he had crossed a road without waiting for the green light. 

 

Because he didn't realise a motorcycle was coming straight at him until it was just centimetres away. 

 

Because by that time, he had been too shocked to react. 

 

"S-She needed comfort. And the accident was just an accident," Jongdae said in the end, then coughed loudly. "Okay! I need to sleep! Go home, you jerks! But thanks for dropping by!" Jongdae immediately squeezed his eyes shut and pretended to snore, hoping to avoid more questions. 

 

He heard smirks, and a loud whisper (presumably Baekhyun), then someone switching off the lights, but no door opening, nor packing of bags. 

 

"Night, guys." That voice was Baekhyun's. 

 

"Goodnight." Kyungsoo's. 

 

"Sleep well." Chanyeol's. 

 

Jongdae, even with his broken arm, felt the most comfortable. He knew they would stay. 

 

 

________________________________________________

 

 

Hyejin knew something was amiss when she stepped into the office the next day. Placing her bag down on her seat, she waved at both Chaeyoung and Jinkyung, gazing around the office. 

 

"Yo, Hyejin! Glad it's Friday?" Taehwan chirped, slinging an arm around Hyejin's shoulder  and handing her a piece of paper. "Faxed over from the administrative office. It's your tasks for today. Read it carefully and be even gladder." 

 

Ah, so that was what was off. Their tasks didn't usually come faxed in like this. It usually came from a smiley, jokey man at the table with the most mess. Taking the piece of paper from Taehwan, she gestured towards that table. "Where's Che- I mean, Jongdae? I thought I'd be the latest one in today because I overslept." 

 

"Called in sick, if I'm not wrong. Hope the poor dude is okay. He's a pretty awesome senior. Now, read it! There's great news." 

 

Hyejin blinked, and her eyes slowly glazed over the piece of paper. The words on the paper momentarily jumbled up. Sick? Chen? 

 

"W-What great news?" Hyejin stuttered after a while, regaining a bit of her mindfulness. He's probably just down with a flu. It'll be fine. 

 

Taehwan clucked his tongue and pointed at something on the piece of paper. "Don't you see? Surveying at the Yeouido branch! With Lee Taehwan!" 

 

Hyejin laughed. "So the good news is that I'll be working with you today?" 

 

"Yes! What else?" Taehwan exclaimed. "We can set off any time. I've got the documents already, so we're ready to go." 

 

"Okay, just give me a moment." Hyejin felt around in her bag for her phone, but when her fingers clasped onto the metal she suddenly lost the courage to do whatever she wanted to do initially. Loosening her fingers swiftly, she pulled her empty hand out of her bag and clenched it into a fist behind her back. 

 

"Never mind. Let's go," Hyejin shook her head, then adjusted her bag on her shoulder. Grinning, Taehwan linked arms with Hyejin and pulled her out of the office. 

 

 

Once they were out of the WS Building, though, Hyejin had a strange compulsion to go back in again. It was as if she forgot to do something, but she was almost sure didn't. 

 

The truth was, she felt a little uneasy the entire way to work — not because she was afraid she was late, but more because she was puzzled by herself. Last night was a mystery to her. Hyejin knew she had gotten out of the subway at a random stop with Chen, sat on a small bench drinking iced chocolate, finally let out her feelings in real life, internally swore to delete her rant blog (she did), cried and… slept. Nothing else. 

 

But in her vague and foggy memory, it seemed as if she heard Chen whisper comforting words while she slept, and then, she wasn't sure if she deciphered his murmur right, but she thought she heard a love confession of some sort. 

 

That was the confusing part. Everything was so hazy she couldn't remember whether that was a dream or not. But if it was a dream, why would she even dream about that in the first place?

 

And if it wasn't one, then why would Chen suddenly have confessed like that? 

 

Hyejin was secretly hoping Chen wouldn't turn up for work so she could at least avoid an awkward situation. If he wasn't going to be bungled up, she was. And there was nothing she dreaded more than awkward situations. (Well, and maybe empty enclosed spaces — she hated claustrophobia attacks too.)

 

But when she came to work and realised Chen had called in sick, Hyejin realised it would probably have been better if he had turned up, healthy and his normal self. Now, she was stuck in a situation which had left her constantly pondering about if he was alright. 

 

 

Taehwan didn't have a car, so they decided to take a subway to Yeouido instead. And somehow, when they got into the familiar carriage, Hyejin caught herself picturing Chen inside as how he usually would be when they went home together. If he was standing, Chen's legs would be slightly apart for balance, a smile ever-present on his face. One hand would clutch onto the handrails if they were available — if not, that same hand would be on Hyejin's waist, making sure she wasn't going to fall. If he was sitting, Chen would tap his foot on the ground in a steady beat, and his bangs would bounce slightly when he laughed. 

 

Hyejin glanced over at Taehwan, who was engrossed with a game on his phone, and she slid her phone out of her bag with much more ease this time. Who cared about awkwardness anymore — she needed to make sure Chen was alright. 

 

Her message to him was simple: it merely asked if he was okay and told him not to worry about work and just relax at home. 

 

Hyejin never remembered subways being so… empty. 

 

 

____________________________________________

 

 

Yeouido was a place Hyejin hardly visited. It was Seoul's financial district, and she had no interest in banks — she only managed one account because she didn't like thinking about economics anyway. If it wasn't for Taehwan, she would definitely have gotten lost trying to find the area's WS Supermarket branch.  

 

Surveying turned out to be actually quite fun, admittedly thanks to Taehwan. He repeatedly cracked jokes that didn't make sense, went all chicken about talking to the manager of the branch, and kept his jaunty grin throughout the entire duration of the survey. 

 

"It's! Overrrr! Surrrrveyyinggg is overrrr!" Taehwan whooped loudly, swinging his arms full of files around once the time on his watch read noon. People clad in office wear stared amusedly at him, and Hyejin jabbed him on the arm before hiding behind him in embarrassment. 

 

"Lee Taehwan!" She chided playfully. "You're representing WS Group right now. We're embarrassing ourselves and the company." 

 

He stuck his tongue out. "Whatever. Let's go eat lunch now. I'm starving." 

 

Hyejin smiled, but inwardly she felt her heart droop just a little. Her usual lunch date wouldn't be eating with her today. It wasn't that she didn't like Taehwan (she enjoyed his company very much in fact), but maybe it was because she liked familiarity, or something else, but she missed… Chen. 

 

Biting her lip, she checked her phone again. No message. No call. No news at all about him. Was he okay? He usually replied on the spot, or within an hour, at the most. It had been four, and he hadn't even read her message. Or maybe he did, and was just ignoring her. But why –

 

"Hwang Hyejinnnnnn!" Taehwan whined loudly. "Are you coming, or not?" 

 

Hyejin scoffed. "Trust a big guy like you to whine. Of course I am." 

 

Just as she was about to stride over to Taehwan, who was metres in front already, she felt someone grab onto her wrist and pull her back. 

 

"Hyejin?" The voice called, and she turned to face its owner in shock. When she realised who it was, however, the tense muscles on her face relaxed and she broke out into a smile. 

 

"Joonmyeon!" She called, and the man released his grip on her, smiling back. "Haven't seen you in the longest of time, friend." 

 

Joonmyeon chuckled. "So you're still going on with the 'just friends' thing, huh?"

 

"We agreed on it on our blind date, remember?" Hyejin nodded and side-eyed Joonmyeon. 

 

He made a face. "Yeah. I can't believe we were actually made to go on a blind date, though. But hey, what are you doing in Yeouido? I thought you worked in WS? Isn't that in like, Hak-dong or something?" 

 

"Surveying," she told Joonmyeon. "You know, ever since the gross blind date thing we've only chatted online. It's nice to see you here — I forgot you worked in a bank!" 

 

He beamed at Hyejin. "You're going to be so shocked when I tell you this. I wanted to call you out for lunch another day to break the news but since we've met like this today, do you want to go for lunch together?"  

 

Hyejin glanced at Taehwan, who was making his way over, then looked back at Joonmyeon applogetically. "Sorry, Joonmyeon, he —" 

 

"He's going to find an Internet cafe to play games so I'll come with you. He doesn't want my company anyway — he'd rather play games," Taehwan interrupted in a horrible, high-pitched imitation of Hyejin's voice, then winked at her suggestively. "Don't worry about me. He seems to need your attention more." 

 

"Taehwan, it's —" 

 

"Adios! zai jian! Goodbye! And have fun, y'all," Taehwan exclaimed, waving as he moonwalked away. 

 

Hyejin and Joonmyeon both stared at Taehwan as he whistled and continued to moonwalk, and after a while Joonmyeon cleared his throat, giggling. 

 

"Your friend is… interesting." 

 

"Don't mind him. He's like this all the time." Hyejin rolled her eyes, and Joonmyeon smiled. 

 

"Okay. So I guess I'll take it that your friend has consented on your behalf? Where do you want to go to eat?" 

 

Hyejin bit her lip and stared at the floor, then looked back up at Joonmyeon, willing herself to give him the biggest smile she could manage without being reminded of Chen again. He hadn't replied her. It made her kind of sad. 

 

"Let's eat Chinese food. Some place with black bean noodles. And oh, I feel like jasmine tea."

 

 

 

____________________________________ 

 

 

 

After the two had settled themselves down in a cosy Chinese restaurant and ordered their food (and a jasmine tea for Hyejin), Joonmyeon rested his hands on the table and stared at Hyejin for a while and Hyejin glanced back questioningly at him.

 

"Is there… anything wrong? You've been staring." 

 

Joonmyeon raised his eyebrows and shrugged, but continued to stare, and… Was it affection Hyejin caught in his gaze? 

 

She cleared . "You're creeping me out. Just a little." 

 

Joonmyeon blinked several times, then leaned back on his chair. "Sorry. I was just trying to… But anyway, I can see why now. You are really cute. How did I not notice it the first time we met? You're adorable, Hyejin." 

 

"You're strange." Hyejin felt her face flush in embarrassment. Was Joonmyeon suddenly drunk or something? "A-And what did you say you were trying to do? You didn't c-complete your sentence." 

 

"Look at your features properly. Your face shape really accentuates your eyes. They're really cute." Joonmyeon was back at looking at Hyejin with the same gaze as before. 

 

Hyejin coughed and self-consciously rubbed her eyes. This was making her feel awkward. And Joonmyeon just suddenly changed within a matter of seconds, what was up with him? 

 

"Did you drink before meeting me?" Hyejin blurted, still flushed. Joonmyeon burst out in laughter and Hyejin shrunk slightly in her seat. Oops. 

 

"Anyway," Joonmyeon chuckled. "I have something to tell you. Don't be shocked. Okay, you will be, but try to believe me as much as you can, okay? Because it's true." 

 

"G-Go on." 

 

"Okay, how should I go about saying this..." Joonmyeon mused, and Hyejin felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. Pulling it out just enough to see the caller ID, she took a peek at it. 

 

And felt her heart beat — hard. 

 

"I have to go. Really sorry, Joonmyeon. Can we meet again?" Hyejin breathed, slinging her bag onto her shoulder swiftly and standing up. He looked at her, slightly amused. 

 

"Sure. It looks urgent. Do you need a lift somewhere?" He gestured to his car keys on the table, but Hyejin shook her head. 

 

"I'm sorry," she apologised once again. "I'll text you, okay?" 

 

And Hyejin walked out of the Chinese restaurant, sliding 'accept call' with her thumb and bringing the phone to her ear. 

 

 

"Chen! Are you okay?"