Taeyeon curses herself for almost missing her flight. She sighs in relief as her touches her seat and instantly goes to fasten her seatbelt. Not long after she settles down, the plane takes off.

She plays with the screen in front of her and lets out a long exhale; it is her first time taking airplanes to New York after her break up with a certain girl. She plugs in the headset that the airplane provides and searches for a good music album to kill time. Since when does airplane rides feel this lonely? She puts on the headset and gazes to the city lights outside the window. She bites her lower lip and clenches her jaw; this kind of view has always been her ex’s favourite. Her mind travels back to a certain piece of memory: their promise.

“Jessica, will you be my girlfriend?” A nineteen-years old Taeyeon with her hands gently holding the other girl’s, looked at the latter as the plane to New York just took off. The said girl gazed at the shorter girl with a surprised look; never had she thought that Taeyeon would pop the question in an airplane.

“Y-yes!” The taller one squeaked in happiness and both of them looked into each other’s eyes with smiles. Taeyeon took note how Jessica’s eyes twinkle in happiness as she caresses her cheek. Their faces grew closer; forehead to forehead, nose to nose and lips graze into each other. Taeyeon took her time to memorise the sound of Jessica’s ragged breathing before she fully claimed her lips. Slow kiss turned to nibbles and it became passionate when their tongues dance with each other.

“I love you,” Taeyeon whispered as they broke the kiss due to their need of air and her hand rests on the girl’s cheek.

“I love you too,“ Jessica put her palm on top of the other girl’s and smiled. Taeyeon praised herself for buying the business class’ seats instead of the economic class’ or else, she couldn't do these things freely. “Promise me, every single time that you’d travel to New York, I should be one of those people who’d be with you,”

“Sure,” Taeyeon chuckled at her girlfriend weird request. “It’s doable, I guess?”

Taeyeon clenches her jaw and shuts down the window blinds. She is going to New York but she’s no longer with Jessica. If only she is going to another city then maybe the pain would not be this severe but out of every other city in this world, why does it have to be New York? Several thoughts linger on her mind: How is Jessica? Is she happy? Has she ever gone to New York without her?

It has been two years since they have stopped contacting each other and yet, every time she stumbles upon something that reminds her of a certain girl, her heart would still ache. She can still remember how she cried when she found an old pair of shoes that Jessica gave her on her nineteenth birthday or how her eyes became teary when she accidentally stumbled upon a polaroid picture that they took for her 21^st birthday. Maybe it was because they have been in relationship for three years or maybe it was because she thought nothing could break them apart that she put lesser and lesser effort in her relationship.

Group projects, club outings and internship seemed so important back then but she forgot the importance of Jessica in her life. Their break up was caused by her fault and she was aware of it. The other girl would be the one who called or messaged her just to know how she had been but all of those would always be cut short due to her fatigue. Everything seemed like a one-way relationship with Jessica who put all the effort until one day, the girl became sick of it.

“Taeyeon, you’ve changed,” Jessica sighed and looked out to the car window as it stopped in front of her house.

“What? I’m still me,” Taeyeon chuckled, not noticing the tense atmosphere. “I do get tired from balancing all those internship, school and sometimes hanging out with the guys but I’m still Taeyeon, Jessica,” she gently takes her hand and gives it a kiss, making the latter looked at her.

“But you don’t balance your life with me,” the said girl bit her lips, trying to supress her tears. “Would we even go on a date if I don’t pop up at your house like some tax collector?” she scoffed and released herself from her girlfriends’ grasp.

“W-what? Jessica, I’m-“

“I can get tired too, you know,” the taller girl looked at her girlfriend with her teary eyes, automatically making Taeyeon so surprised. “I just- sigh, I feel like I’m the only one who put effort in this relationship. Don’t you remember that today is our anniversary?” she hissed out of her frustration but when she saw how stunned the other girl looked, she knew that Taeyeon had forgotten. “We were not like this few months ago, Tae. Now all I feel is just we are trying to hold on something that has ended months ago, I’m tired,”

“Je-Jessica, about the anniversary I really am sorry for forgetting it, my mind is occupied with my intern-“

“See? Everything else is important to you except me,” Jessica sighed and a tear escaped her right eye. “Let’s just break up so-“

“No!” Taeyeon replied in an instant. “Look at me,” she mumbled and when the latter did not want to look at her, she cupped her cheek gently to make her do so; her thumb wiped away her tear. “I am in love with you although I know my actions don’t really justify it but I-“

“Actions speak louder than words, Tae,” the taller girl cuts her. “I gave you so many chances to fix this but you were just too busy with your own world that you didn’t notice them,” she continues, hands holding Taeyeon’s wrist so that the latter could stop cupping her cheeks. “Set me free, Taeyeon, let me find my happiness somewhere else,”

Taeyeon breathed heavily as she woke up with tears streaming down her face. Fortunately, she chose the windows’ seat in the business class or else some people would look at her weirdly. Clenching her jaw, she uses her hands to cover her face before she decides to go to the lavatory. She splashes water against her face and stares at her reflection; red eyes, distressed face – she thought she would never lose Jessica.

She did try to get the girl back by courting her again from zero. She'd give her flowers in the morning with a cute little note each day, she'd call her at night just to accompany her till she fell sleep but she knew that the girl was getting further and further away from her. The old Jessica wouldn't let a miscall stayed as a miscall, the old Jessica wouldn't cancel a meeting on last minute, and the old Jessica wouldn't be so touchy to other people.

Taeyeon persevered though, she thought that hardwork would always mean result until one day, she saw how her ex laughed with another guy or how her eyes twinkled in happiness when the guy picked her up. However, what hurt her most was not those kind of acts; she was hurt most when she saw how Jessica blushed at a simple forehead kiss.

She looked so happy

+++

Taeyeon walks to the toilet in John F. Kennedy airport to freshen up as soon as the plane lands. When she exits the toilet, she bumps into someone; her hand automatically goes to the person’s waist to make her stable. When she looks up to see the person’s face, time stops. In front of her is the girl that has made her life so beautiful and miserable.

“Jessica,” Taeyeon trails off, eyes not leaving the brunette’s. Even after two years, her looks will always make her hypnotized. She takes notes on how her chestnut brown hair is still as silky as ever; her hand itches to caress it.

“Taeyeon,” the latter replies with a wide smile.

“Y-you’re beautiful,”

“What? Umm- thanks,” Jessica chuckles and she puts strands of hair behind her ears. “How are you?”

“I-I’m good, going to seal a deal later,” Taeyeon smiles softly.

“Still hardworking, eh? I see,” the latter replies the smile.

“How about you?”

“I’m good too, I’m-“

“Unnie, let’s go pee,” a little girl shakes Jessica’s hand which automatically makes Taeyeon looks down to their interlocked hands. However, her eyes somehow managed to focus on the shiny metal on her ex’s forefinger.

“Ok, Yoona,” Jessica chuckles before she looks back up to meet Taeyeon’s gaze.

“You don’t have any younger relatives or siblings,” Taeyeon mumbles as her eyes trail down to the little girl who’s looking at her with her big eyes.

“Yeah, it’s Donghae’s little sister” the brunette replies with a soft smile.

“Donghae?” Taeyeon knits her eyebrows in confusion, they do not have any friends that goes by that name.

“My fiancée,” Jessica mutters softly. "We came to Seoul just to pick this little girl and introduce her to New York, she has been wondering about it ever since we told her that New York is amazing," she smiles as she looks down at Yoona.

"You live in New York now?"

"Yup! My job is here and his job- well, he is flexible with his job," she chuckles and awkward silence surrounds them for a while before Yoona tugs on Jessica's hand again. “Well, she needs to pee, so we better go,”

“Y-yeah, go ahead,” Taeyeon rubs her nape and gives the little girl small smile. “Hope to see you again, Jessica," she looks up to meet her gaze and uses all her strength to not throw herself into a hug. 

“Me too, Taeyeon-ah,” Jessica gives her one final smile before she walks away with Yoona. Taeyeon clenches her jaw, why does her heart feel constricted to see her walking away? She lets out a long exhale before she leaves the restroom as well. Jessica was the one who made her promise to always go to New York togethet but now she knows, the girl broke it first. Why did she expect her to keep the promise anyway? Of course, once they broke up, promises would lose its value. 

You look so happy, Jessica

At night, when she’s done with sealing the deal with her business partner and buying souvenirs for her family, she proceeds to a club: Eden. She goes to sit on the bar stool and orders a drink. This certain place, with music blasting in her ears mixed with the smell of cigarettes and alcohol, used to be one of her favourite places but now it just gives her a bitter feeling. However, she still goes there occasionally, just in case, she would see Jessica again. She clearly remembers that this particular club is Jessica’s favourite. Ever since they broke up, Taeyeon did not visit the clubs anymore; she would drink on her own at her house. Call her sad but somehow, she just couldn’t feel the excitement of going to the club anymore. If only she didn’t go to club with her friends that often but spent her time with Jessica, maybe, just maybe, they would not break up.

She looks at her wrist watch and it shows that it nearly reaches 1 a.m., she sighs and grabs her wallet inside her clutch to pay for her drinks. Just as she stands up, she sees a certain brunette dancing happily with a wide smile. Now that she pays more attention to it, she notices how a hand is placed on her waist and how her ex is actually grinding her body against a man. There it goes again, the tight feeling on her chest and this time, even her whole body feels numb. She watches how Jessica turns to look at the guy and gives her a kiss. If it was a normal kiss or just a peck, she wouldn’t feel this hurt but when she sees how their tongue dance with each other, she lost it. She bites her lower lip as she feels how hot tears stream down her face.

Two years, two ing years of not seeing each other and she’s still like this? Taeyeon clenches her jaw and gulps the lump on ; she should be going instead of watching the scene in front of her but why can’t she move her legs? Why does it seem that her body do not want to cooperate? Why does she need to see them together? Once she sees how the guy’s hand goes lower to squeeze her and all Jessica does is to stare at him with a smile before giving him a kiss, Taeyeon knows, this is the end.

You are happier

Aren’t you?

A/N special thanks to Bumella, taeng_sica, han_inft, Gotz04 for the vote and y'all who subscribed and commented.

All your votes even before I uploaded the chapter made me feel pressurised omg hahahaha but I really appreciate it

About request, I'll see what I can do but I can't promise u anything. I'm still owing someone a Hyoyeon Taeyeon one shot so yeah..

Until next time ;) do tell me if this chapter is angsty enough. I still feel it's lacking honestly...

Btw, i got this inspiration from Ed Sheeran's song called 'Happier'.. the song is sad.. like real sad...