Jongdae doesn’t like Chen. He doesn’t like it when he’s not him and Chen is not him. Chen is confident and loud and awfully good at being social - Chen is everything Jongdae isn’t.
Foreword
about.
this story is chen-centric and deals with social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder. both these disorders are mental illnesses and can exist without the other.
it was a part of the "i was going to die slowly" series which i have drafted instead.
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this was a sad story to write because i actually do suffer from both of these, so writing this was taking a lot of my own resources and experience and forcing them onto poor jongdae. which is probably really rude.
i know panic attacks occur differently to people and that no one reacts the same so this is my take on panic attacks as well. it may not be identical to yours but...
if you choose to read, i hope you enjoy.
// kim minji
poster by the most amazing shin-oppa at we got fired
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contains
panic attacks
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Avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), also known as anxious personality disorder is a Cluster C personality disorder. Those affected display a pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation, and avoidance of social interaction despite a strong desire to be close to others.
Social anxiety disorder (SAD), also known as social phobia, is an anxiety disorder characterized by a significant amount of fear in one or more social situations causing considerable distress and impaired ability to function in at least some parts of daily life.
Chapter 1: This resonates so much with me.
Through out the story, I kept thinking what Jongdae was thinking, feeling what he was feeling.
This is so well written, and I'm really glad of how realistic this is.
Either you have had some personal experiences with social anxiety or you did a hella good job reflecting how it feels like...
It's also interesting to imagine Jongdae being a different person on his own, it made me think a lot about what we actually know about our idols, and how we should support them no matter what because we never know if they might be going through something like that or anything else really.
Thank you for writing this <3
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