Chanyeol put the pill on his tongue, lifted his glass of water and swallowed. He didn't know he could get seasick. 

That was until they entered the Indian Ocean. 

He could only imagine how much worse it would be for him when they actually arrived at their destination. 

"It's a really beautiful place." His dad said. "You're in the middle of the ocean, you can't help but look!" 

Chanyeol thought that was stupid. What was even the point of going in the middle of nowhere? The Atlantic Ocean sure would sound interesting to anyone else, but not to Chanyeol. He had way too many things in his mind and throwing up every then ing minutes was not helping the situation. Neither were the pills. 

So, what was he going to do there? Yes, his dad wanted to go watch the stars or whatever, but to Chanyeol watching the stars was not a big deal. Who cared aobut how many more stars one could see there? 

"Yeol-ah, they're beautiful, aren't they?" Baekhyun opined. 

"They're okay." Chanyeol replied. "They're not important." 

"Of course they are." Baekhyung opposed. "You know, some of them may have died." 

"Who am I to care?"

"You could be the same."

Chanyeol turned his head to look at his best friend. "How?" 

"Everyone can do something remarkable, like those stars can produce light. Some shine brighter and some shine less. Even if they die they are still remembered or at least their actions affect those who are still alive, just like how we can see their light even after the stars have stopped shining. But..." Baekhyun's voice trailed off. 

"But what?" Chanyeol asked. 

"But sooner or later they all get forgotten, we stop seeing the light," 

Baekhyun was being weird that day. He kept on talking like that. Apparently, a snail's pace portrayed Chanyeol's love life progress (it was existent but it was slow). And an eagle's wing force prortrayed Baekhyun's. 

True enough, Chanyeol had thought. 

"That's stupid." He retorted. "There's many people who have done great things in the past, but have not been forgotten."

"The world will end some day anyway. There won't be anyone to remember them."

There. He was thinking of Baekhyun again. He shook hiis head and blinked. 

Stars were not that important. There was no such meaning to their existence. 

They still had a long way to go. It would take about a month for the to actually go where they - his dad - wanted. And that freaked Chanyeol out, since his stomach wasn't doing well. 

"Are you anxious about something, Chanyeol?" His dad asked. 

"Anxious?" Chanyeol echoed. "Why would I be anxious? I'm chill as ." 

His dad glared at him, succesfully getting his message across to Chanyeol. Watch your mouth.

"I don't know; how did school go this year?" 

Oh, great!

Last thing Chanyeol wanted to talk about (except for how sick he felt on this boat) was how sick he felt about school. 

"Well." 

And just like that the conversation ended. For some reason, Chanyeol and his dad's communication worked well that day. They both knew when to shut up. 

Chanyeol refused to eat anything. There was no point in eating food when he was going to throw it up anyway, was there?

~

Time goes by fast. 

Chanyeol figured that out by spending most of his time sleepings or...

On second thought, he mainly slept. 

He would wake up solely to eat (if he felt like it) or when he had to go to the bathroom. At least he stopped getting nauseous after half a month. 

"The stars can be seen clearly here as well, why do we have to go all the way there?" Chanyeol whined. 

"It's even cleared there." His dad replied, holding a beer in his hand, a cigarette in the other. If the circumstances were different, Chanyeol would have drunk as well. Drunk 'til he was beat, to the point of passing out. 

"How can you even let that thing touch your lips?"

Chanyeol looked at the can of beer in his hands. "What? The can? I guess I could use a straw." 

"No, you pabo! I meant the beer!" Baekhyun interrupted. "It's gross." 

"I like it." Chanyeol replied. "What's wrong with that?"

"It messes with your brain. And stomach." 

Chanyeol took another sip. "It helps me feel better." 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol stayed silent for the next ten minutes, nothing breaking the silence. 

"Are you okay?" Baekhyun almost whispered. 

Chanyeol went back to his bed. He layed down and stared at the ceiling. It was wooden and had lots of cracks on it. Chanyeol felt like it could break anytime and fall on him. 

"Yeol! Come here!" Baekhyun shouted. 

"No, you come here!" 

"Don't be like that! Come on, the view is amazing!" Baekhyung went on. "Woah! I can see the fish!"

"Baek, we can't, it's not allowed." Chanyeol said, pointing at the sign saying "No Trespassing".

"It's just soil." 

"It's a ing cliff!" Chanyeol whisper-shouted. "You can get hurt. Or fall!"

"Okay, okay, okay. I'm coming." Baekhyun said and took a step back from the edge of the cliff, still looking at the sea bellow. 

"Hurry up." Chanyeol said and made Baekhyun sigh.

"I swear to God, sometimes you are so stub-AH!"

When Chanyeol saw the ground disappear under Baekhyun's feet, he rushed towards Baekhyun. "Hold my hand!" He screamed, as he reached for his best friend. 

"Ch-Chanyeol!?

"It's alright, I got you!" Chanyeol said and started pulling Baekhyun up from the cliff.

When he managed to pull him up, he looked at Baekhyun. "I told you there must be a ing reason that they don't allow access here!" Chanyeol shouted at Baekhyun, still panting. 

But Baekhyun was not listening. In fact, he was smiling. Laughing even. 

"Woo! That. Was. Amazing! Oh, the adrenaline!" 

"You're crazy..."

..., but that's why I'm in love with you, Chanyeol wanted to say but didn't. Couldn't.

Chanyeol smiled and turned to his right, placing his arm bellow his head and hugged a pillow tight. "Ah, ." He whispered to himself. 

~

"There's green ones, yellow ones, orange ones... I can give you any of them. Whichever you like." 

"I don't like any of them." Chanyeol pushed Baekhyun's hand away.

"Wow, you must be the first person I know who doesn't like gummy bears." Baekhyun said and Chanyeol lied down on the bench. "Well, more for me, then." 

"How can you be so childish at times?"

"You're never too old for gummy bears." Baekhyun said with his mouth full. "Here, rest your head here." Baekhyun lifted Chanyeol's head and placed it on his thigh, after sitting next to Chanyeol. 

It was gestures like this that made Chanyeol's heart stop. Or beat faster, there was no inbetween. 

But still Baekhyun seemed to be unphased by it. He'd hug Chanyeol, he'd let him rest his head on his lap, feed him, straighten his shirt and tie whenever they were at school, but only Chanyeol's mind went blank when he did all those. Only Chanyeol's brain failed to function. Only Chanyeol's lungs had no air.

Because Baekhyun did not feel the same for him and Baekhyun would never touch him that way, the way Chanyeol wanted and fantasized about. 

Was that bad? Fantasizing things about his best friend? His same gender best friend? It didn't hurt anyone, right?

Well, that was except for Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol wondered what he hated more. Being on this boat or back home? 

He'd receive messages from Baekhyun almost daily, informing him about his holidays. Likewise, Chanyeol had texted him about arriving at the Atlantic, saying it wasn't much interesting, or beautiful whatsoever. 

Chanyeol: if anything happens no one will even notice

Baek: enjoy it now that you can

Baek: in ha is a great kisser by the way...

Beakhyun was even popular with girls during school, but it was phenomenal, how many girls hit him up during the holidays. But Chanyeol had experienced it first hand, so he had already figured that's what Baekhyun would be up to during summer. Baekhyun hooked up with some girls, with some others he didn't...

Chanyeol knew boy their age would be like that. Being seventeen was not a big deal - not as big as Chanyeol had thought when he was younger - but your hormones can go coocoo. 

Most importantly, Chanyeol was mad at himself. He didn't even see girls that way. He had tried it out - making out with girls, that is - but he was never pleased and always thought of another person. And out of all people - boys - he liked Baekhyun.

No, he loved Baekhyun. But still there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't stop Baekhyun from seeing girls, nor could he make him love him. 

Just when Chanyeol was having these thoughts again, he was lightning and soon after heard thunder. 

He rose from the bed, only to fall back down, when the boat started moving left and right. He held onto some furniture and was able to walk out the door and run on deck. 

"Chanyeol, stay there!" His dad shouted and pointed towards the middle of the boat. "Take that rope and hold on to something."

As he said that, big waves started forming anf hit the boat from every direction.

Chanyeol could see his dad fighting to keep the boat as still and safe as possible. 

He seemed to be handling it well.

That's what Chanyeol thought until the boat started turning towards the right. 

More to the right, more to the right, more to the right!

Before Chanyeol could realize it, the boat was upside down and he was surrounded by water. He tried to swim, but the water was pulling him down and filling up his lungs.

He battled to stay on the surface, screaming 'dad, dad!" repeatedly, but he got no response and his body betrayed him.

Soon, everything went black and Chanyeol stopped moving.

~ 

Chanyeol heard mumbling/. He didn't know where that sound came from.

A couple of seconds after, white light was blinding him.

"-eol-ah... P...! Park Chanyeol!"

Chanyeol opened his eyed. He couldn't see very clearly. He struggled to lift his hands and rubbed his eyes. "Wh-where am I?"

"Oh my God, you scared the out of me!" He heard a familiar voice. "Yah! Do you want to die?"

"Yah! Do you want to die?" 

Seokmin scoffed. "Hyung, what do we do about him?"

"Well, he found some trouble since he was looking for it!" Kyungsoo said. "Yah, give me your money." He demanded. He extended his arm towards Chanyeol.

"I don't have any."

"Huh. Yeah, right. Quit playing and give it to me."

"Do you think I'm afraid of you?"

That sentence was Chanyeol's biggest mistake. Do Kyungsoo made Chanyeol's life in middle school pretty hard after that. Being rich and having friends made him really powerful. Especially against Chanyeol.

Even if Chanyeol grew taller than him in high school, he still remained nothing but a cockroach to him. 

He'd take Chanyeol's money, have his sidekicks beat him up, basicallt make his life even more miserable than it alraady was. 

But how come this voice was so familiar?

"You punk!" The voice spoke again. "I almost thought you'd died!" He cried. 

Chanyeol's sight came back to normal after he rubbed his eyes a little more. 

And he couldn't believe what he was seeing. 

Do Kyungsoo sat on a chair next to him. And he was sobbing.

"I was so scared. I thought I'd lost you for real this time." He said and wiped his tears away. 

"K-Kyungsoo...?"

Kyungsoo almost jumped off his seat and reached for Chanyeol's hand. "Yes, yes! You recognize me! That's a relief."

"What are you doing here?"

"Where else was I supposed to be?! You almost died! I had to be here with you!" 

Chanyeol was taken aback. What the hell?

"But you... hate me?"

Kyungsoo gasped. "Jseus ing Ch... I was told you may have amnesia, but does that mean having hallucinations as well? Excuse me, nurse!" 

A lady in green came closer to where Chanyeol and Kyungsoo were. "Yes, sir?"

They spent around then minutes discussing about what Chanyeol may or may not have.

Chanyeol stood there listening. He was confused at first, the started remembering what had happened the night before.

"Ah, so he may have mixed his memories?" Kyungsoo put a palm on his cheek. "Cool..."

Totally not cool and totally not true.

"So, you may not remember that well, then... Hi! I'm Kyungsoo, your best friend."

Chanyeo choked on his own saliva.

"I do not resent you in any way." He went on.

"What?" Chanyeol whispered. "Where is Baekhyun?"

"Baekhyun?" Kyungsoo started. "He didn't come."

Chanyeol was confused. Firstly, because, why the woulf Kyungsoo ever claim that he was Chanyeol's best friend and secondly, why would Baekhyun noe be with him?

~

After a day or two, Kyungsoo had already explained to him how he was his best friend, how his other friends were dead worried about him - some of them even visited him - and how Baekhyun was his boyfriend. 

"Boyfriend?"

"Well, more like your friends with benefits buddy, but you call yourselves boyfriends." Kyungsoo explained. "Don't worry I won't tell. It's a secret." Kyungsoo winked.

Chanyeol became even more confused. People who had barely ever talked to him showed up at the hospital - he figured he was in a hospital after Kyungsoo had called the nurse -, but also now Baekhyun was his boyfriend? And on top of that, friends-with-benefits boyfriend?

He hadn't even shown up.

Chanyeol's head was about to burst. He had the worst headache. Kyungsoo noticed and suggested letting him sleep.

And so he did, hoping to get up from this dream.

_

I don't like gummy bears.