Jongdae haven't talked to Minseok for a week now. He just can't. After what happened everything seems like a blur. And the latter doesn't even try to apologize for it. What a jerk.

He avoided Minseok ever since the 'incident'. He tried waking up earlier than usual so that when the guy wakes up they won't see each other. He often takes lunch on fastfood chains outside the campus to not see the jerk on lunch break. Or locks himself on the Council room and then eat. He also sleep before the clock strikes 7 for he know Minseok will come home. It has been effective, well until the beast suddenly comes out to hunt him down.


Minseok has been avoiding Jongdae for days. He knows what he did was wrong. Very wrong. For he know Jongdae probably can't forgive him. Or face him. Seeing how the boy avoids him every single time. It hurts like crap. But what can he expect? What he did was a foul move. And to make up for the 'mistake' as he calls it, he also avoided Jongdae.

It's a little bit hard to not get up early in the morning. Everytime Jongdae wakes up, fix the bed and takes a bath, he is wide awake. Moreover, pretending to be deeply sleeping is harder. He sees Jongdae getting out of the school cafeteria every lunch break. And he knows the boy is purposely sleeping early to not see him come home. He is not dumb. And he knows they need to talk.

Minseok gather up all his courage as he approached Jongdae who is laying on the couch watching TV as he taps on his cellphone.

"Can we talk?"

Jongdae nodded his head. He looks a little surprised that he pops out of nowhere. But in a blink of an eye, his face becomes stoic.

"About what?"

"About what happened.. I am sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I was just.. You were really appealing that time. And I didn't know what came into my mind. I'm so so sorry, Jongdae. I really am."

"I look appealing? That's why you kissed me? Or why you touched my ? What kind of reason is that? Who in their normal state of mind would just kiss someone out of the blue?!"

Minseok doesn't know what to say. Jongdae look calm but he is glaring at him with that pokerface expression. It's really creeping him out.

"So? Talk! You want us to talk right? Then why are you not answering me! Why did you kiss me? Why did you said you like me and then ignore me like trash? Can you please give me reasons? 'Cause you're making me freaking crazy! Come on talk!"

"You're the one who is ignoring me! Jongdae, I just want to apologize. Can you please calm down.."

Jongdae took a deep breath. Then pulled him to sit on the sofa and shake him like crazy.

"How can I calm down? HOW CAN I CALM THE ING DOWN?! YOU KISSED ME! THE MIGHTY KIM MINSEOK ING KISSED ME! CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT? WHY? HOW? Oh my god. This is insane. I am insane."

Minseok lets Jongdae calm down for a while. He kept quiet as he stare at the man with an angry face. Eyes twitching. He is gritting his teeth hard. And tears forming on the corners of his eyes. That make Minseok more guilty.

"Jongdae I- I didn't regret what I did. To be honest, I was guilty. Things have been complicated because of what I did. I know that I offended you. Or that I disrespected you. But I meant everything that I said. I like you.. I think I do. And this is not one of those plays or games. I am serious. I also know it's going fast. But what can I say.. I don't understand either.."

"How can you like me? Stop joking around, Minseok. It's not funny.. I-I think this is not one to be pranking about. Just-just stop okay? Before I get really angry and- no just stop with this ."

Minseok faced Jongdae. Looked straight into his eyes and said the thing that has been going on in his mind for a while.

"I am gay.. No.. A biual to be exact. And I really do like you, Jongdae."

Everything has been going well, his parents treated him like a precious diamond like usual. Giving him everything that he wants. Everything that he needs. But not the thing that his heart desires. Love. They have been treating him as a mere puppet. Manipulating all his decisions. 

Telling him what to do next. And changing him into someone that he doesn't want to be.

He is on his third year on High school when he met someone that'll change his view of life. Zhang Yixing, a transfer student from China. Yixing is a very handsome man. With cute dimples and ash gray hair. He looks very neat and well-mannered. He is also smart and respectful. He is kind and helpful. Everything that an ideal man should have. He has many friends, and one of them is Minseok.

They started of as seatmates. They always talk to each other. Until they became best friends. They are always together. Eating lunch, watching soccer games, studying for exams and admiring music. Yixing is good at both singing and dancing, Minseok is the same. Their likes and personalities are almost alike. One thing lead to another then boom. They fell inlove. At first, it was awkward for they are both boys. They are not aware of falling inlove with the same gender so it took some time before they realized that they were inlove. The kind of love Minseok has been longing to feel.

Things are going on smoothly. But Minseok's father heard the news of them dating.

"What is this that I am hearing that you're dating a guy?! What is the meaning of this, Minseok?! You can't be a gay! You're a disgrace to the Kim family!"

"But Dad, I love Yixing and he-he makes me feel special.."

"I don't care! Stop ruining your life! You're my successor! And I thought you're perfect! That you're the best. Then what is happening to you?! Where did we go wrong? We gave you everything that you want! Then this is how you're gonna pay us? Be ashame of yourself!"

"You gave me everything? No, Dad! You didn't! You never loved me! I am just your toy! Nothing but a puppet that you manipulate and control!"

Minseok felt his cheeks sting from the harsh slap his father gave him. Then his father grabbed his collar and punched him hard in the face. His mother ran to him and held his arm but he slap her hand away. Minseok stood up with tears dropping all the way to his cheeks.

"YOU LISTEN TO ME! BREAK UP WITH THIS BOY. OR I'M GONNA RUIN BOTH YOUR LIVES! You understand me, don't you? Do you want to see this boy dead? You know I can. Try me, Minseok."

Minseok cried that night. He can't believe his father can hurt him. His cheeks, sting of the slap. His face, swollen. But his heart has never been heavier before..

The next day, his father booked a flight. His family together with him migrate out of the country. And he never had the chance to even say goodbye to Yixing.

Months passed by, a friend of his gave him a call. She said, Yixing's father and their company went bankrupt. The investor whom Yixing's father intrust the shares fled away. Taking half of the investment. Abandoning the current projects that run out of funds. Leaving the company with a debt of millions.

Since then, Minseok never disobeyed his father again. He hides himself in a mask. Separating who he truly is and what his father wants him to be. Now and then, he would change face. For his sister, he is a kind loving person. And for his father, a stone cold man. It was hard for he know who he truly was. But for the sake of not rewriting his mistakes he settled on being the man his father wants him to be. And he is used to it. He wants to be the best. Because in the Kim family, no one is a failure.
 

Jongdae paled with what he heard. But when he looked at Minseok's sad face he hugged the boy. Thinking over and over the words that he said. He nuzzled on the crook of Minseok's neck and inhaled his scent. He felt Minseok tightened the hug.

"I understand. I just- I was surprised this is the first time a boy, rather a man confessed to me. Don't think I would judge you of something.. To be honest. I wanna be your friend, ever since. You're popular and people are afraid of you. Because of your reputation.. But now that I saw another side of you. I changed my mind.. Let's be friends, okay?"

Jongdae smiled brightly as he stare at Minseok's gummy smile. Then he stood up, laid his hand infront of Minseok. Waiting for the other boy to hold his hand.

"How about we talk about this over a drink? Get to know each other? Maybe then, I can answer your confession? What'ya think?"

"Sounds great. I'll cook."

"Hey! I wanna cook! You buy us something. Start pleasing me will you? And there I thought you seriously like me. Jerk. Liar."

"Alright! Alright! My god. Calm your ."

Minseok raised his hand and went to get his wallet and car keys. Then he smiled as he make his way to the door.

"Bet you loved my buns! Be quick!"

'Now I think, I need to tell him something too. But how?', Jongdae internally slapped himself as he make his existence useful by chopping the ingredients.

*****

I just finished watching "The Notebook" last night. It made me realize that things should be done before we regret something. So yeah. I think I'll reveal their reasons for putting on a mask. Especially Jongdae's is a bit dark..