It’s an alarming feeling to realize that the first time in years, you’re not looking forward to a Friday.

I wake up feeling uneasy, hesitant to face the day. It isn’t the kind of hesitation caused by a physically or mentally tiredness etched in my bones. It’s the kind of hesitation that comes from a deep-rooted worry. I’m not sure which one I’d prefer.

I mean, it’s one thing to not look forward to the day because of what you know is going to happen. It’s another thing when you’re not looking forward to the day because you don’t know what’s going to happen.

The glaring sunlight forces me to open my eyes, and the cold blast of wind from my bedroom’s trusty AC feels like sandpaper against my eyes. I roll over to the edge of my bed sluggishly to check on the time from my phone, only to feel the looming sense of dread crawl back under my skin.

It’s barely eight in the morning yet Somi has taken the liberty of texting me—I guess I’m not the only one who’s nervous to see how today would play out.

“Hey, it’s me, Somi,” I read the text out loud in hopes to help myself get adjusted to the reality that’s about to sink in, “I’ve texted Jaehyung asking for him to meet me. It’s about time, isn’t it? Wish me luck! I love you.”

A feeling of warmth and contempt replaces the uneasiness inside of me for a while, a feeling of rekindled nostalgia acting as a temporary sun in the midst of my brain’s stormy start of the day.

“Good luck, Mi. I love you too,” I type in the text with a smile, which vanishes as fast as it appeared as soon as it gets sent.

I set my phone back onto the nightstand and push myself off my bed to get ready for the day. Fridays are supposed to be the best day out of the week, right?

***

“Something’s bothering you,” Minseok stops in the middle of his sentence just to address my behavior. I straighten my pose like a thief caught red-handed clutching onto somebody’s prized possession, eyes focusing back to where Minseok is seated—right in front of me.

“And you haven’t touched your food.” Sunyoung adds, voice judgemental paired with a condescending look. “If you’re thinking about Jaehyung and Somi, they’re going to be fine. Jaehyung is a pretty cool-headed man, don’t you worry,” Sunyoung says. She pushes my plate closer to me, eyebrows knitted together in worry.

“You’re right,” I lie, forcing a grin onto my face as I pick up the fork to dive into the unappetizing lump of ‘mashed potato’. “Jaehyung and Somi will be fine. Even if they still can’t be friends, I can always be neutral, right?” I shove a spoonful of mashed potatoes inside my mouth to keep my facial expression deceiving. Sunyoung nods with a satisfied look on her face, but I don’t miss the questioning glare Minseok sends my way.

I push my fork deeper into the lump of sad food, and feign ignorance at Minseok as if he didn’t just catch me lying straight to his face.

***

Sunyoung pats my shoulder as she parts into another direction of the hallway, leaving for her class with hopes of making me feel better.

I wish it did.

I wave at her as she disappears down the hallway, the feeling of dread returning back full force as I watch the last of her hair exit my line of sight. I sigh and force myself to think of other things like how Jaehyung and Somi is doing, or how am I—

“You still have half an hour to class,” a voice interrupts my line of distracted thoughts and I jump in surprise, cursing at Minseok who is standing there with the most innocent look on his face. I clutch my chest for theatrical effect, and land a soft punch on his shoulder to make a point. Surprisingly, he doesn’t smile.

“It’s the last year,” I clear my throat. “It doesn’t hurt to come to early to class for a start. Haven’t you noticed that lately I’ve started to do new things?” Minseok doesn’t say anything.

“The funny thing is,” I continue despite the silence, “Freshmen are supposed to be the ones who brings one too many books for lec