Some people think that twins should be extremely similar, or complete opposites. But that’s not the case with Harin and I. In ways, we’re similar, but we’re also very different. Jilin was completely different from the both of us as well. I always wondered why. We grew up in the same household, with the same experiences and surroundings, and yet, we were all so very different from each other.

I think it has something to do with what happened when we were very young. Harin and I were about seven. Jilin was five. Our grandmother, a very traditional woman, came home one day and told us: “I saw a fortune teller today. I showed him your pictures and he told me your futures.” Then, she proceeded to tell us the things that man had said. She seemed pleased as she said them.

Harin was apparently going to grow up without any difficulties. She’d become a doctor, marry a doctor, and live a very privileged and comfortable lifestyle. To this day, Harin has never wavered in her passion for medicine since hearing this, even though she used to contemplate all sorts of professions before. Jilin was going to be a doctor too, in research, unlike Harin who was predicted to be hands-on. She was going to be a handful, but anyone could see that. I can’t remember if the fortune teller said she’d get married, or what kind of person she’d marry. Now, Jilin wants to live her future in Harin’s backyard, and marry a rich K-Pop star. I don’t actually know if she has real aspirations for any career.

As for me, my grandmother looked a bit concerned as she told me my future. I never noticed then, but I know why now. The fortune teller said I’d become a businesswoman and work harshly for my career. She said I’d marry someone kind and loyal, but never told me my future husband’s profession. Probably another businessman. My grandparents wanted all three of their granddaughters to be doctors. Because…well, they think that all other careers are inferior. Today, I don’t know what I want to do with my life... Oh. Grandma also said that when I grew up to be sixteen, I should be watched over. Ever since then, my sisters and I made a joke of the age of sixteen. I never expected anything… Funny, because…I was sixteen when I met Jiyong.

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“We’ll split up into groups for this year’s retreat!” Linda called, naming off group leaders and their members. I ended up…being in a group with Jiyong. I don’t know if it was because we’ve talked before, or knew each other’s names, but throughout the first day, we were side by side. I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t consider it too much, but I was a lot more fragile than my Resting Face let on. Maybe I’m reading way too much into things like usual…

That second night (including our arrival the night before), when we walked to the dinner hall under the dark mountain sky, Harin and I talked about our days. “I can’t believe you actually squirted baby food in that guy’s mouth.” Harin snorted, reminiscing about the odd games we’ve played earlier. “It’s too bad you guys didn’t win.”

I shrugged, “Don’t worry, lots of other people sacrificed earlier.”

Linda shouted, “Now, we’re also sharing the dining hall with an older couples’ marriage retreat, so please behave!”

I snorted, smiling, “Oh , I should put a filter on, huh?”

Harin nudged me, “Oh please, you put on a façade better than anyone. You’re good.” Harin knew me so well. I reached up to ruffle her hair and gave her a reassuring smile. Since we were some of the first people to enter the dining hall, Harin and I claimed our own table, and waited for everyone else to sit down.

“Hey.” Jiyong stood on my left, and pulled out the empty chair to sit down. My heart raced, from surprise, and I managed a smile. “What’d you guys do earlier? Didn’t see you around during free time.”

“Oh…” Harin scratched her nape, “Ah, I…took a jog around the campgrounds.”

Health nut. “I was around, reading and…on the piano.” Also took a short nap but I didn’t mention that. I honestly can’t remember what I said afterwards. I looked at him and just felt myself saying things without inhibitions. His smile comforted me. I liked his eyes too…

“Hey, guys.” Linda set her stuff down, “Mind if I sit here?”

“No, not at all.” I said.

She stood and stared at our group, “Alright everyone! It’s dinner time. Now, traditionally, its ladies first. So guys, when all of the women are up and in line, you can go on afterwards.”

Harin and I stood from our seats. I glanced at Jiyong, “Lucky me.” He snorted, smiling.

As we sat down, with our tacos and drinks, conversation just happened around the table. Word must’ve passed that Jiyong was a senior, since Linda started asking him about college: “Where have you applied to?”

He hummed, “John Hopkins, U Chicago, Berkley, Cal Poly, Oregon State, Stanford…and UW.” I gulped. He had a lot of out-of-state schools…

“What’s your first pick?”

He looked at me and turned away almost as quickly, “U Chicago… Their econ program there is really nice. I’ve…looked at that school for a while.” I felt a sinking feeling in my gut. But not everyone goes to school in-state. Who was I to suddenly say something about his choice in school?

I spoke up, “So you want to major in economics?”

He nodded and asked, “You’re a junior right?” I nodded. “You thought about college yet?”

“Ah…yeah, kind of.” I smiled sheepishly. The truth was, I wasn’t even sure about college all that much. I had an idea that I wanted to go to an in-state school…but my major was a blur for me.

“Jiyong, you’re Korean, right?” Harin asked.

Jiyong smiled, “Half.” Half…? “I’m also half Japanese.”

“Really?” I gasped. It just came out. Thankfully, he smiled and reassured me that he was correct.

“My mom is Japanese. My dad is Korean.” In the near future, I would know for certain what his parents were like. But at that moment, the only thought occurring to me was that Jiyong seemed cool. I liked his type; normal, tough guys with a little spark that made them shine. What was that spark? I still have no idea.

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I don’t really remember how, but Jiyong started calling us friends. And although it sometimes made me feel guilty, I was ecstatic for his attention on me and not on Harin. Some people would say that I’m being friend-zoned, and for a split second, it felt like that. But Jiyong…was flirting? At least, that’s what it felt like to me. We connected through church, so…selfishly, I went on volunteering opportunities with hopes of seeing him again. Perhaps I’d feel a bit more guilty if he didn’t show up to them. And when we’d lock eyes, he’d light up. It was so cute…

One day…I was minding my own business, studying for the SATs, when I received a message on Facebook (yeah, I still use mine frequently). It was Jiyong: are you going to church this Sunday??

I can still feel my heart pounding as I wrote a reply as quickly as possible: yeah. Why?

Jiyong Kwon: Wanna hang out afterwards?