After that my mom went out my room. However, Dr. Gonzales stayed.

 

“Sophie, you may be in your darkest time right now. I don’t know the feeling but seeing you right now, it really hurts a lot to accept it. Tell me what you feel.”

 

“Doc, I don’t know what to do. For all my life, I live as a girl, and now I come to news that I’m a hermaphrodite. It’s not usual, you know.”

 

“Of course, it doesn’t happen everyday that someone will tell you that you’re a hermaphrodite, or someone will say that, hey dude, you have two es, right. Haha. Don’t take me wrong, I’m just trying to make you laugh out of this not so good situation that you’ve got.”

 

“Thanks Doc. Doc, can I ask you something?”

 

“Of course. What is it?”

 

“Tell me frankly what the odds in my situation are. I mean as a specialist in cases like mine. If you’re the one in my position let’s just say that. What would you do?”

 

“Sophie, you are the only one who has the right to make that decision. However, if I’m in your situation I will choose what will benefit me and what would be good in my situation.”

 

“What do you mean doc?”

 

“In your case, as having a protogyny; where the human starts as a female, and then changes to a male, I will suggest that you’ll have to choose to change your . I mean choose what would be the best for your situation which is being a male. Since, you’re male hormones are now rising up; while your female hormones are falling. The disadvantages in choosing your male is minimal compared choosing your now. When you choose living as a female, you will never get pregnant even in vitro fertilization because the ovum will be weak, your female hormones will decline up to the point where you will get to inject and take female hormones every month, and that’s for a lifetime.  That’s why for me, I will choose being a male, as it will not be risky for my health.”

 

“Is that so doc? I’m hesitant to do that. For all my life, I live as a female and now all of a sudden I will realize that I have to change it.”

 

“I know that it might be depressing on your part. I’m giving you all the right to make the choice. Think about it thoroughly.”

 

“Thanks doc.”

 

After talking to Dr. Gonzales, I meditated. I know that this might be the hardest decision that I will make in my entire life. Some people may lose their mind now if they’re in my case. I don’t know how they can handle it. In my part, it’s really hard. The only help that I have now in my problem is to ask God. I know that some may think that I’m ridiculous because they might say that He’s the one who put me in this kind of situation but for me, He is really the only one that I need and can help me.

Early morning when I woke up, I went out of my room. I went straight t the hospital’s chapel and stayed there. I prayed and prayed for guidance and help. I asked for the sign of what’s the right choice. I prayed to Him that if I received white roses from my mother unintentionally, I will choose living as a boy. However, if my mother would give me a bouquet of chrysanthemums, I will remain as a girl and face all the consequences.

After that I went back to my room and found white roses in the vase near my bed being arranged by my mother. She said that she saw those roses and she thought that it may look good in my room. But for me, it is a sign from God confirming that I will be living as a male from now on. After realization came to me, I said to my mom that I have made my choice and it’s the time that I will talk to Dr. Gonzales.

 

“Mom, doc I have already made up my mind. Due to all the consequences and risks, I will choose my male organs. Mom, I know that this would be hard but I will do it in order to live normally from now on. I hope that you and Dad will understand my decision.”

 

“Sophie, are you sure about this? Is this really you’re choice?”

 

“Yes mom, I think it’s for the best. Dr. Gonzales can you help me?

 

“Yes Sophie, I will do my best. Don’t worry after the surgery you will be normal.”

 

“Thanks doc.”

 

“Mom, how can we explain this to all the people? They will gossip about me if they will know my situation. I will not live with that mom. Please help me.”

“I don’t know honey. The only thing that I can think is that if we will say that you died and the new you is your long lost twin brother that I found after 20 years. Then, maybe it’ll work.”

 

“I think we can try that mom. And I also want to talk to dad. I will talk to him and will say that I will use his name as his junior.”

 

“Lucy, Sophie, I think I can help. I can pretend that I’m the one who adopted Sophie when she was lost I mean as her twin brother. I will say that I’m the one who found him and adopted him as my son and brought him up since my late husband and I have no child. Since, you and Sophie have been close now to me.”

 

“Thanks Doc. I really owe you.”

 

“Don’t thank me, Sophie. I know that you deserve to live normally. And Lucy, if it’s okay with you I want to treat her as my child also. You and Sophie have been close  to me, and I have no family left now so I take you two as my new family now if that’s okay with you.”

 

“Of course Dr. Gonzales. I’m glad that there would be someone who will love and care for my child. Thank you very much."

 

“Thank you Lucy. Thank you Sophie.”