8- All we are

It’s a sunny Tuesday, the sky is blue and the trees sway across the window, blessed by the gentle wind. Minho has dragged him outside and now they aren’t studying as they were supposed to be, but chatting animatedly under green leaves that shadow the sun. It feels fresh and nice and the books lie around them, abandoned.

Seungyoon is looking at Taehyun, who is playing magic chess  against Jinwoo, who is obviously - also cutely -  losing, but who keeps his eyes focussed on the game, since he hates losing the most. Sitting next to his hyung, chin on his hand and laughing at how badly Jinwoo is, is Seunghoon, with a lovely expression all over his face that makes Minho frowns and sulk and heaves sighs in dispair.

“If you don’t rush, Seunghoon hyung will steal Jinwoo from you” he says, gently. Minho looks at him, bearing a very dull face that speaks about hearts broken and shattering dreams.

Seungyoon feels pity for him, for this boy who is in love with a shadow phantom, something out of his reach. It’s not as if Jinwoo doesn’t like him, he does, in his subtle way, but after having a conversation with Taehyun, Seungyoon is not sure any more about his hyung’s feelings, not that he has ever discussed them with him, with hurts in a way that Seungyoon can tell it’s close enough to betrayal, since he is his best friend and he should know, he should be the first to know if Jinwoo is in love. But he never talks about himself, always putting all his attention to others, taking care of the rest of them.  And lately he has been talking about Seunghoon nonstop, hanging with him more than with any other person, even breaking some school rules – like stealing food from the Domestic Elves kitchen –, not a big deal but Jinwoo has never done something like that before. And been clingy and touchy as he is, is hard to tell if he is only acting the way he is or if there is something more. But lately he has been observing his hyungs behaviors and, definitely, there is something, sort of more than friendship but not quite love. But Jinwoo looks so happy and relaxed around him, smiling openly, joking and teasing and laughing daringly. But he also does that with Minho, and he would go further with him only if he didn't panic and refuse all skinship, even a gentle hand brush. 

“Do you think he likes hyung too? I mean, obviously, who doesn’t?” he answers himself, still defeated, like a beaten boy who has to get up again, sore and painful. Looking at them, at his soft Seunghoon glances at Jinwoo, Minho thinks he has nothing to stand for, that he should give up, burning all his love for him. 

“That’s what Taehyun says, but I don’t know” he clarifies, because the truth is that if he has to choose, he chooses Minho. He doesn’t dislike Seunghoon, since they have meet a little more those past weeks and he has grown to be found of him, and Taehyun talks very highly about him too, about jokes and secrets and how he has always take good care of him, protecting him from the others during first year, when he was odd and rich and hated, but still, there is something that nags at him whenever he sees Seunghoon near Jinwoo. Besides, he has seen Minho been completely and utterly in love with Jinwoo since forever, he knows that he is a good choice. He might be stupid, but he also has a heart of gold and the way he looks up at Jinwoo, as if the sun beamed only for him, as if he was all the stars that hang on the night sky, reverently; he worships him, adores him and would do anything for him. “But, anyway, this is our last month; it’s time for you to move. Even if he doesn’t love you back… It’s better to confess than to keep those feelings caged” and Minho knows that he is right. He has tried so many times to do it, to put his feelings into words, to explain to Jinwoo how he makes him feel, but every try has turned into another failure and now his love for him is overwhelming him, surpassing his control; been near to him is unbearable for Minho, that’s how deep and strong his feelings for Jinwoo are rooted in his soul.

“I know…. I’m – I’m waiting for the right moment. For a bit of extra help” he explains, smiling shyly.

“A miracle, you mean” Seungyoon teases him, just because it’s fun and healthy “Minho, seeing you around hyung is so lame that it’s painful. You are always longing for him but, when he gives you a bit of attention, you run away” he says, seriously. “Maybe I should bring you to the Elves, so they can cook you as the chicken you are, Song Pabo!” at this Minho pouts and Seungyoon can’t help it but to burn into a bright, loud laugh that drags Jinwoo’s attention.

Jinwoo has finished loosing against Taehyun and now both of them are coming to join the other pair, leaving Seunghoon behind, who doesn’t seem to want to come. Taehyun sits comfortably on Seungyoon’s lap and kisses him on the lips, smiling like a happy cat, nearly purring in delight and Jinwoo smiles at them lovingly, so sweet that melts Minho completely. 

Minho’s eyes are following Jinwoo’s moves, all of them, even when he sits with him, peaking at the books that surround them. He looks at him, gleaming, with the sun stealing beams out of his skin, luring his lips to kiss it but the mere thought makes him shiver.

“Seunghoon-ah, join us!” he says out loud, cheerfully waving at Seunghoon, who doesn’t seem any convinced, “you can help Minho with Potions, since you are better than I” he adds, holding one of the volumes that Minho has bought from the library. Surprisingly, he comes to meet them, even if it feels like he has been obligated, a crooked smirk on his face.

“Oh, how can I help?” he says, throwing a knowingly glance at him, and Minho thinks that he is screwed, that he will spill his secret, right here, right now, that he is going to lost everything that is dear to him, the only person he has ever loved.

But the real fear arrives a few weeks after, drinking shoots, getting drunk in the shadows of a summer night.

All started with Taehyun wanting to celebrate their last free days before their last tests, the ones that will reveal their future, their paths in the magic world. 

“We should go somewhere and relax” he had said and they had agreed because on his lips all this sounded beautiful and grand, a new experience to share together, one last adventure before depart. And that night just feels right and perfect, a sky covered by shining stars, the far sound of the Black Lake waves and its fresh breeze, the grass growing under them and a bottle of Fire Whisky, the finest one Taehyun could manage to get from his house – “It’s from Scotland, made with the best quality malt, so it has to be great!”—, they have also bring butter-beer and snacks – “It’s not healthy to get drunk with an empty stomach” wisely has advised also Taehyun –.

And that how the five of them have ended on the limits of the Great Lake, the moon clouded and a bunch of stars as their lights, drinking heavily to forget, to have fun, to release stress and worries and dark spaces put of their mind. 

After an hour or so, but, Taehyun has dragged Seungyoon to somewhere more private and, judging by the lewd sounds, the pair are making out behind some brushes.

“You two, love birds, you should fins a room!” shoots Seunghoon, who is already pretty intoxicated, even when he is the one who has drunk less, he can't stay still or speak clearly, a burst of words sleepy.

On the other hand, Kim Jinwoo has nearly emptied a bottle of Fire Whisky all by himself and he is still very sober, only giggling a little more, looking extra appealing under the moon, smiling at it happily, a glass filled with that dark beverage that he seems to enjoy the most, since he keeps drinking it, as if it was water, so easily that Minho is in awe. He has tried it and his throat is still burning, as if he has swallowed thorns on fire.  “And you, Song Pabo!” he says very loudly, pointing somewhere that isn’t him, looking fixedly at the darkness, thinking that there is Minho, “I know why you want that love potion and I’m not going to help you, no, no no" he slurs, accompanying it with some expressive gestures. "That’s lame and you should be a man and confess yourself to him because even if you are pretty pathetic, what you are planning to do is way much worse!” he garbles the words, walking toward the emptiness, trying to reach him. But instead, he goes closer to the water.

“Seunghoon-ah!” and Jinwoo runs toward him, pulling him from his shirt, forcing him to stay still, to retreat his steps “you are going to drown yourself if you keep going this way” he says, gently. 

“But hyung would safe me, right?” he wonders, with a dreamy tone that might be due to his state or due to his love for him, Minho can’t tell.

“Yes, of course” he assures him “but I prefer not having to do that… I think it’s time for you to go home” and with a fluid and elegant movement of his wand, he makes appear a bunch of sleeping backs and a two tents. Minho is amaze of how talented Jinwoo is, how easily he can cast any spell or charm, turning a bunch of timber into something that incredible in just a few of his wand. “This” he point to the biggest one, “is for the lovers, so they can have some intimate time” and giggles, a joy that turns his eyes into constellations.

Jinwoo then helps Seunghoon to get into the sleeping back and, in a matter of a second, he is already sleep, snoring softly, muttering words that Jinwoo can’t catch but that sounds lovely.

“Sleep well, Seunghoon-ah” he says, touching his hair before leaving the magic tent he has conjured.

It’s the perfect moment to confess, Minho thinks, the stars painting the night and the birds singing, they both alone in the dark – at some point Seungyoon has decided to move to somewhere more comfortable, and the tent just fitted perfectly with what he was looking for –, but before he can say it, uttering the courage to finally tell him, Jinwoo looks at him with some disappointment.

“Are you seriously going to use a love potion?” he faces him, with a freezing tone that fingers how much he disapproves it.

And Minho’s life crumples down, like a castle on the sand, breaking his heart and empting his mind, just leaving pain behind.

Author's Note: sorry for the delay updating this time. Hope you'll like it. As usual, English is not my native tongue, so sorry for all the mistakes that you find there. Also, thank you very much for reading. Comments, subscriptions and upvotes are more than welcome, but feel free to not doing any of them.

Hogwart's House Game:

Hotgee: 3 points.

Maeru: 15 points.

Chivisale: 5 points. 

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Next chapter will be the last. Thanks for reading and I know the end will disapoint some of you, sorry in advance. 

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