“Guys, from today two new children will be joining our group. They both just lost their parents in an accident. Please be kind to them and let them feel welcomed”, our caretaker told us on a sunny spring day. I was playing football with my two best friends, Donghyun and Youngmin.

“Poor them. Must be hard having known their parents and losing them then”, Donghyun said. Even at a young age he always behaved like a mother to all of us.

“Guys, please come to your new family”, the caretaker said.

Two guys made their way to the playground where all of us were playing. One guy was holding the other’s hand tightly and he looked pretty shy.

He seemed to be younger. Not only that, but call me anything you want, but when I saw him I felt like I saw an angel. He had warm brown hair that seemed to glow in the sun. His eyes looked around us and he looked pretty shy biting his lips holding tightly onto the other boy. To sum up his features were out of this world, even though I hadn’t seen that many people, because I was still young, he seemed to be the prettiest person on earth to me.

The other boy had black hair and looked mature to me, I was wondering how old he was.

The black haired boy started talking first. “Hello, my name is Howon. Lee Howon. I am seven years old and I like hip hop and dancing. Hopefully we all will become close friends. Sewoon-ah”, he nudged the smaller boy” your turn.”

The boy, Sewoon, took a deep breath and looked at Howon who nodded. “H-Hello m-my name i-is Lee Sewoon. I am three years old and I-I like p-playing the g-guitar and s-singing with it. And I-I like my H-Hyung. Please look after me kindly.” He bowed again and I had to control myself as good as possible not to run to him and hug him tightly.

“You can’t deny it. He is cute. How can he be just a year younger than me and in a year older than Donghyun”, I wondered.

The two new boys were looking around and Sewoon hold onto Howon’s arm. One of the older boys, Minhyun, who was 12 years old, went to Howon and asked him if he wanted to join their basketball game. He nodded but pointed at Sewoon.

“He can join our football game”, I said and pointed at Youngmin and Donghyun. “I-I would like to”, he answered in a shy voice. He looked at Howon and the said boy nodded.

Than he rushed to us.

“T-Thanks for letting me join you. I am Lee Sewoon.” “And my name is Kim Jaehwan, this is Kim Donghyun and that old guy goes by the name of Im Youngmin”, I introduced us.

Youngmin pouted smiled at Sewoon. “I am only two years older, I am six years old. You can call me Hyung.”

Sewoon smiled brightly and nodded happily. “Okay, Youngmin-hyung!”

“Hyungs, let’s continue our game! Sewoon-hyung, you are on my team. Maknaeline vs. Hyungline”, Donghyun said and grabbed the ball.

“Looser has to wash the dishes”, the two younger ran onto the field.

I smiled happily at the two boys.

“Seems like our family just grew”, Youngmin said and smiled warmly while the young boys started kicking.

“Jaehwan-hyung! Catch me if you can”, Sewoon said and rushed out of the door in order to get to the playground.

It’s been a year that he and Howon had joined the orphanage and like Youngmin said at the playground our family had one more member. The four of us were barely apart.

I was still really young, only five, so I had no idea about my feelings, but I knew that Sewoon was really special to me.

During the last year we had barely left each other’s side, not even for sleeping. We usually stayed together and cuddled like it was the most natural thing to do. Well, it was for us. Sleeping without him in my arms felt weird and I could not imagine how I had slept without cuddling him.

“I will catch you, Sewoon-ah! And this time there is no escape for you”, I chuckled and ran after him.

We were growing up. All of us. The friendship between Donghyun, Youngmin, Sewoon and me got only deeper during the years.

We four were inseparable, especially me and Sewoon. The two of us started to sing and play the guitar together and it was the biggest joy on earth. The friendship between Minhyun and Howon also got deeper, since they belonged to the oldest boys in the orphanage.

Yes, we were orphans, but we were living happily. School was funny, since the four of us were in the same class and Sewoon seemed to be a smartass when it came to numbers and Youngmin was a smartass in general. Donghyun and I were doing fine in school, we did not ace like Sewoon and Youngmin-hyung but we did not fail.

Soon people started calling them “the smart-line” and we did not mind at all.

Yes, we were happy.

During the last five years nothing special happened. Until the day of Minhyun-hyungs departure. He had turned 18 this year, which meant he had to leave to orphanage. Having graduated from High School also meant he would leave Busan. His goal was becoming a teacher, he had talked about it several times already, and he was one of the lucky people to get a place at Seoul National University.

His last day was supposed to be a huge party for all of us.

He wanted his farewell to be a happy and remember able day to all the orphans.

I was looking for Sewoon, who did not attend breakfast today, which was really rare. “Howon-hyung? Have you seen Sewoon?” I asked his older brother. The older shook his head. “I haven’t seen him since yesterday evening. Thought he might have spent the night in your room again.”

This was weird. Sewoon was either with us or with Howon-hyung, but now that neither of us have seen him, where was he?

He had to be somewhere in the orphanage, that was for sure, but where could he be?

We all started looking for him. Youngmin took the school area, Donghyun looked in the orphanage, Howon looked around the sports halls and I was responsible for the playground.

After running around the playground area I saw a person sitting on a swing, head down, but I knew it was him.

He had his eyes closed, his lips lightly opened and seemed to pout.

“Ponyo!” I shouted and he turned over to look at me. Only now I realized that his eyes were wet. He must have cried.

I ran over to him and pulled the nine year old boy into my arms.

He snuggled against my chest and pressed his face into it.

We stayed like this for a while.

“You want to spill why you have been here since yesterday?” I asked him.

He looked up, bit his lips, a habit he had when had something on his mind and nodded slowly.

“Minhyun-hyung is leaving today… It feels weird… I grew up with him, he helped me discover my love for numbers and now… Now he will be gone… I just don’t know how to look at him, without crying. He became almost something like a second dad for.

I-I don’t want to lose someone precious again.” His eyes had turned wet and he did his best not to cry. I smiled softly and pulled him closer into my arms. Eventhough I was only one year older, when it got to Sewoon I felt like I was grown up and his was mine to protect.

“Sewoonie. You aren’t loosing someone. He is just moving to follow his dream. This does not mean you are losing him. We will keep in touch, of course we will, Hyung already promised us. There has to be another reason. Stop lying, I know it.” I knew him too well, this could not be the only reason for him staying at the swing the entire night.

He sighed deeply. “No, it’s not. It’s just… Howon-hyung is 13 years old. He will have to leave me in five years. And that thought scares me.”

So this was the real reason. I pulled him lightly away and looked into his eyes.

“Ponyo, it’s okay. We are growing up, and that’s normal. It’s okay to be afraid. We all are, but you will never be lonely. I promise. I promise you, I will always be by your side. I promise you as long as I live, I will always make sure you are not alone and feel loved.” And I kissed his cheek softly.

At the age of ten I did not know what I really meant with my promise.

At the age of ten I had no idea about what I was feeling for him.

But at the age of ten I knew that I wanted to stay with Sewoon no matter what. Because at the age of ten he had a different position in my heart than Donghyun and Youngmin.

We were young, that’s why neither of us knew about the feelings that had developed during the last six years. We were kids.

But our love had already started.

We both attended Minhyun’s farewell party and we had fun.

When it got to an end, Minhyun-hyung asked me to talk to him in private. I nodded at him and we went into the kitchen.

“I have seen you grow up, since you were a little child, Jaehwan-ah. That’s why you are so special to me. You were the first kid I was responsible for, that’s why I maybe feel like a dad talking to his son.

What I want to say it, that you and Sewoonie have something special.

When you become older, you will learn what this is, but believe me, it’s something that should be treasured and protected at all costs.

You will understand my words soon, don’t worry.” He hugged me and kissed my head, just like he did when I was younger.

As time passed my feelings for Sewoon never changed. They devolved more like. I felt something strong for him. Something that made me almost angry when he spent more time with Youngmin and Donghyun than with me.

Four more years passed and I got into puberty. I became more handsome, we all did, but out of us, Sewoon’s transformation was the softest.

Yes, he changed, but for me he still looked like the little kid I had met at the playground. And this made me want to protect him even more. More and more he turned to be the most important person in my life.

One evening we played truth or dare and Donghyun asked me “If you could spend the rest of your life with only one person, who would it be?” I answered Sewoon. It was natural for me to be with him.

That evening I finally understood what Minhyun-hyung meant four years ago. I was only 14 but I finally understood, that what I was feeling for Sewoon, was love.

When we finished playing Youngmin and Donghyun went to bed while Sewoon and I went outside in order to look at the stars. They were beautiful, but not even close to Sewoon.

“Hyung, you know, when you said you’d take me, I was really happy. Because I cannot imagine a world without you. You know, when my parents died in an accident, I thought I could never be fully happy. But you know, I am. Because I am next to your side. Because of you, I am happy.”

Sewoon said when he had his head on my shoulders.

I smiled brightly and brought our hands together. His hands fitted perfectly into mine. Why have I never realized that before? His body fitted so perfectly into mine that was why our hugs were always so amazing.

“You know, I don’t know anything about love, but I think, that Love for me, is Kim Jaehwan”, his checks were red.

Hold on. Did he just confess to me?

Slowly but surely his entire face turned red and I chuckled.

“I may be young, little Ponyo, but I think that whatever love is supposed to be, it has got something to do with you. Because when I just hear your voice, I feel happy.”

To sum it up, a 13 and a 14 year old have learned about their feelings for each other, under the stars.

Suddenly I felt the urge to lean closer to him. “Sewoonie, I love you.”

After saying this he closed his eyes and I leaned closer to him and placed my lips on his. Our first kiss was under the stars.

When I was 14 and he was 13.

We never talked about us being in a relationship and neither did our behavior change. We kept being like we were, with the only difference that I would kiss him from time to time, when I felt like doing so.

And he always blushed. Sometimes I would whisper sweet nothings into his ear, but except that, nothing changed. Maybe had been in a relationship before we both even knew about it.

That could be, why we never changed our behavior.

I was 15 and he was 14 when we started talking more about love and all this stuff. People from our school had started talking about that stuff that adults do and of course I was curious as well about it.

“Sewoon-ah, have you ever thought about becoming intimate?” I asked when he was sitting on my lap and we were cuddling.

He shook his head. “No, not really. I mean, of course I thought about it once or twice but, I don’t know honestly. People say you should do it with someone special. So this means I should do it with you, right?”

I blushed at the thought and pulled him closer to me.
“Sewoonie, I thought about it. Several times already to be honest. I thought about how it might feel while doing it. With you.”

His face was red like a tomato.

“Hyung, if there is anyone I want to do it, it’s with you.

I am still innocent, but I promise, you will be the first one.”

He showed me his pinky and I joined for the pinky-promise.

I would be the one to taint his innocence, to be his first one. Like he would be my first one. Leaning closer to him I slowly placed my lips on his and this kiss was not that innocent as our usual ones. This time he opened his mouth lightly and I slipped my tongue through and felt the inside of his mouth. He moaned lightly.

And I stopped. “Remember that sound for the moment, we both lose our innocence to each other.” He blushed and I giggled.

AN:

Mae, are you happy with this chapter?
It is a pretty long one, hope you all like it though
This chapter is kind of a summary of how the relationship between Sewoon and Jaehwan developed. It’s all out of Jaehwan’s view.
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Thank you so much for reading!