'' You're really going to do it?'', asked kyungsoo as he watch the brunnete from his seat in their shared apartment. His voice was thick of glumness with his eyes showed a glint of sadness watching him.  '' You're leaving me and jongin?''

Baekhyun gave no respond. He continued to scribble down some stops that he thought suits his taste and sometimes put a little side notes beside them. He was really determined. 

After all the sleepless night, screaming without a reason and hallucinating things that would never happen, he was truly determined.

Byun Baekhyun is going to travel around the world.

Visiting places that can make him feel like a human again,that if its possible of course but he will try. Baekhyun was tired,too tired with everything pulling him down just because he become too deep with something he shouldn't.

Kyungsoo stood up from his seat and walked over to Baekhyun. He placed both hands on the latter’s shoulder but before he started to persuade him again, Baekhyun cut him.

’ Just let me be. Its going to be for a few months or un.. until I found what I’m missing of,’’ he said with a toneless voice. ‘’As my friend, you should understand.’’

Kyungsoo bit his lower lip. He completely understand what had Baekhyun been through. He would probably do the same if he was in Baekhyun’s place. But to leave everything behind and wanders around the world without knowing anyone,it suppose to give a fright to anyone but somehow it wasn’t for Baekhyun. He was totally determine.

Baekhyun stood up from his seat and turned to face kyungsoo. He let out a small sigh before giving the doe eyed man a warm smile. ‘’ I promised to be careful and will updated everything to you and jongin. Only for a few months. Just to find myself again, okay?’’, Baekhyun asked. Kyungsoo stared back to the man in front of him. Those eyes were once twinkling like stars had now turn to darkness beyond sadness. He wished to stop his only best friend but it was his choice. He cant do anything.

‘okay’

Two weeks later

Baekhyun checked his stuffs for the umpteen time. Two pairs of garments,a small black coloured umbrella,a small emergency first aid-kit and other important things. He arranged them in his special backpack full of use ( a smile always formed every time he said that) and placed it on the edge of his bed. He moves forward to check himself,a black oversize hoodie that passes his knees hung perfectly around him, a pair of black rippied jeans and a pair of comfortable sneakers with the final touch of a black cap on his head.

All black Byun Baekhyun.

Just like his past. Black.

Baekhyun frowned and shook his head. Not now,when everything was set. He slung his backpack over and turned around to face the door. He walked a few steps when he suddenly shrieked a little just because he almost forgot his most precious possession being left. He swiftly turned around and hurriedly jumped on his bed,his eyes darting the fluffy object lying on the bed. He reached over and hugged the stuffed puppy around him. ‘’ Sorry for forgetting you,Mr.Bacon’’

He snuggles with it for a couple of second before putting it inside the beg. The doll was important to him. Why its so important was a question for Baekhyun himself as he cant remember how and why the doll came to his life. Probably those countless night crying till no tears came out made him forget. He doesn’t know. He don’t wanna know.

The moment Baekhyun opened the door to his room he was welcomed by Jongin and a crying Kyungsoo clutching tightly onto the other man’s shirt. ‘’ Don’t go’’

Tears started to fill in Baekhyun’s eyes hearing Jongin’s plead but he quickly wipe it away. He needs to be strong. Its his choice.

‘’ Do..don’t yo..you care abb..bout uss ‘’. Kyungsoo hardly spoke as he wiped his tears with the back of his hand. ‘’ we’re your bestfriend, Baekhyun-ah. How can you do this to us.’’

The expressionless face that Baekhyun tried keeping makes Kyungsoo bawling again with the addition of Jongin starting to tear up. ‘’ I cant believe you are going to do this. Going away far for us. From everyone,’’ JongIn said. He blinked the tears away and gave a hard look at Baekhyun.

The said man kept his expression still while calming the storm inside his heart. He needs to do this. Its for the sake of him. No one understand what he had felt. No one know what he suffered. Not one know how it feels like to be torn and killed over and over again.

Baekhyun gulped the invisible lump stuck in his throat and with a hard expression, he held his gaze and them and said, ‘’ Believe me. Of course I care about you guys but please understand. Just please. I cant take it anymore.’’

It was too late for Baekhyun to back up the sob that choked out from his words. He almost dropped if it wasn’t for the two other man holding each of his hand and gripping it tightly to passed on their strength. ‘’ we’re sorry,’’ Jongin said. ‘’ we should do that for you atleast. Sorry for making you like this,’’ Kyungsoo added.

He looked over the two man. Blinking away the tears, Baekhyun hugged both of them before letting go. ‘’ Thank you. Ill promise to be back. Safe and sound.’’ The words Baekhyun let out sounds promising but neither of them believe it.

‘’Take care’’

With that, Baekhyun took his steps and walked out from the apartment leaving his friends,his family, his previous life and takes the next step in seeking for his happiness.