Chapter 1
   Suddenly...

There are things we can't help but do. There are words we want to say but can't. There are emotions that we feel but shouldn't. Why is life so complicated. Can't we just do, say, feel whatever comes into our minds and hearts? Is life actually complicated? Or is it us making things complicated?

Jennie's POV

I woke up early as usual feeling so giddy and excited. We have waited for years before being able to perform in front of a huge crowd and now, the time has come. Though we aren't the only ones performing today, I can't help it. I feel like it would be our very own concert. I am just really happy and no matter how good I am at hiding my feelings, sometimes,your emotions just betray you. I am still lying on my bed when Lisa came. Her hair was messily tied in a bun and with that, she looked like a puppy to me but not in any negative way. It was very unusual of her to wake up early in the morning but it seemed like, similar to me, she was excited too. 

She still had some dried saliva on the side of her lips when I saw her. I was about to laugh but she started talking.

Lisa said "Goodmorning Jendeukie! Jendeukie deukie deukie!" She is being informal again and started tickling me on my side. She is always like that. She knows that I am weaker on things like that. She always seemed like a man disguised in a girl's body. She can easily lift anyone among us. She asked, "Why do you seem so excited? I was about to go to the kitchen to drink some water when I saw you rolling on your bed. You are like a chinchilla right now, you are so puffy. "insert Lisa's laugh" And even right now, you seem so happy.Why oh why Jendeukie?" and then she smirked. I told her that I wasn't excited or whatsoever but then I can't help but pull out a smile when her face was like saying, "really, really?" She didn't say a word but her smile was teasing me. And then came the silence but it wasn't an awkward one. We have known each other for so long and that even silence can give us comfort even it would last for long. She suddenly laid her head on my lap and uttered the words, "I hope we will stay like this forever unnie, you being Jennie unnie, me being Maknae Lisa." and then she closed her eyes and smiled genuinely. I started sweetly patting her head and told her sincerely, "Yaksok! Promise Lisa, we would stay like this forever." The moment was just too perfect when suddenly, my heart started beating fast again.

A year ago, I started feeling the same thing. We just came back home after practicing all day when Kuma, my very adorable dog came to us right after opening the door. He was so happy when he saw us. And then I remembered, we left him early in the morning and our friend who promised to take care of him got sick and was not able to check Kuma out. And that would mean he haven't eaten anything after his early breakfast. I was about to scoop him in my arms when Lisa did it first. Then she said, "Kuma-yah, are you okay? Why are you still happy even you haven't eaten anything yet? Do you want to eat something?" and then she hugged Kuma tenderly. I was so shocked when she remembered him. I told her that our friend who is our manager today, was sick and that Kuma was not going to eat by lunch since no one was left at our dorm. She was busy rehearsing her part when I told her that and so I thought she was not listening but I was all wrong seeing her doing that to Kuma. And then she looked at me, still hugging Kuma, and said "Unnie, just take a rest. I am not tired yet and I would like to spend some time with Kuma. I will just walk him or probably carry him and treat him some food. Would that be okay?" I was about to say yes but then I recalled that Lisa spent the most time rehearsing some dance choreography. She usually is the fastest to learn and so the choreographer/dance mentor would spend a lot of time in teaching Lisa first and then Lisa would help her out in teaching us the dance steps. She actually spent 10 hours practicing and teaching us the dance steps she learned and by lunch time, she only ate few bites of bread and took some thirty minutes nap. I looked at her lovingly knowing that this kid is a very hardworking one. When she practices, she gives her all and even after spending countless hours tiring herself, she would still bring joy and fun to the group. Lisa is that kind of maknae, of person. I snapped back to the moment and said, "You should get some rest Lisa. I know you are tired." while giving her some "it's okay look". And then she immediately replied, "I actually don't need your permission Unnie. See you later" *insert smirking face of Lisa* and then she walked out the door after bringing her bag along with her where her money and cellphone was put. I saw that Kuma seemed so happy while our Maknae was hugging him tightly. Not having a choice left, I tagged along with them. I jokingly said, "Kuma, please come to mommy. I am getting jealous already." He was so cute while sticking his tongue out making me feel assured that he was really happy. And then Lisa jokingly replied, "Let Kuma stay in his daddy's shoulders. I will keep him safe, okay mommy? *Lisa's laugh*. I was about to talk back when Lisa slowed down a bit in order to walk in the same pace as mine. 

The night was cold and the sky was so clear. The moon was up and here we are walking together side by side. This time, Kuma was walking by himself. We were both tired but she was more tired than I am but she still had that sincere smile on her face. She was even the one to initiate the walk when I told her that it would be better to take a cab. She said that she remembered me saying that I wanted to spend some time out to walk Kuma and to feel the breeze even just for one night and though I know I shouldn't blush, I did. Why does she remember a lot of things when all I thought, she was so tired to care about what others are talking about when they are story telling? And then she laughingly said, "You are blushing Unnie. I don't know if it's caused by the cold breeze or because of what I told you. Come on, it is no big deal". She kept teasing me and I said still blushing, "Yeah, it's no big deal. And yah! I am not blushing, probably it is because of my make up." And when she was smiling, I can't help but smile too and she catched me looking. Why am I like this? Why does my emotions keep betraying me? And one more thing, she is our maknae, why am I suddenly feeling some butterflies in my stomach?

When we reached our destination, the store was about to close already. I told Lisa that we should just go somewhere else but she dragged me along and because she is a lot stronger than I am, I was not able to stop her. And then an ahjumma showed up and said, "So you really came. I thought you won't come anymore since you practiced too early today and you even texted me that you got home a bit late. You are probably tired my dear. And who is this pretty young lady you brought here? Is she your friend or girlfriend *insert joking tone*" and then Lisa immediately responded, "She is my friend auntie! And Unnie, don't mind that joke, she thinks I am like her son and considers me like that." I told them in funny way, "You are so defensive Lisa. It makes me think that you are gay." Not meaning to offend her, I felt her eyes shut a little and then the ahjumma said, "You didn't know it dear? Lisa is..." Lisa cut her off and faced me and afterwards told me, "I am gay Unnie. I never thought I would tell it to anyone. But you got me. Don't be scared, I am gay but I respect you guys. I won't look at you in a way that you might get scared of." I was so ashamed of myself. I felt so guilty but Lisa still put up a smile after that and she said that she felt relieved that atleast she told me. I assured her that I accept her for whoever she is and it was no lie nor out of guilt. It was because I love her as a friend and I would not just push her away because she is being her true self. That moment right there in the restaurant, the ahjumma told me the story how she met Lisa and how they got close with each other.

Her story started by talking about meeting Lisa at a playground. She said that Lisa was walking by the side of the playground while ahjumma was sitting at a swing. She was sad that time. And Lisa was the one who brought joy in her life starting from that moment. There was a neerby ice cream stand and Lisa bought two ice creams. When ahjumma saw Lisa with two ice creams, ahjumma said that she thought of Lisa as greedy for eating too much by herself not knowing that Lisa bought the other one for her. Lisa stood up in front of her and smiled genuinely and told ahjumma, "For you auntie. Please smile." 

She ended her story there and did not add anything more. I demanded her to tell me more but she said that it was late already and would probably continue the narrating by the next time we would get there together again. I wish she told me more of that story that night, I wish we never left her early. I knew that night happened for a reason. I met her for a reason. We got late for a reason. Though I wish I could have done something for her, I know it won't change a thing. That night, atleast Lisa, said her last goodbye to ahjumma. My joy of first time meeting her meant the saddest farewell to Lisa. 

The flashback all happened in an instant. I did not start feeling my heart beat fast for Lisa every now and then because I pity her for losing a close friend and ahjumma who treated her so dearly. I felt this kind of feeling when she made me blush, when I knew that there was this part of her that would care for anyone, even for a stranger. It seemed a bit strange to me at first. But I eventually admitted it to myself, I have a slight crush on Lisa. She was admirable physically and in all other aspects. She remained almost the same even after ahjumma died, but she changed a bit. She still eats at that restaurant and still tags me along with her when she goes there but a sad look on her face would mostly show up and it upsets me at the same time. I know she can't help it and though she won't tell it, though she would rather keep it to herself, I know she is sad and feeling weak. She is just trying to keep her compusure. She is just trying to remain strong.

When the sad thoughts ran through my mind, suddenly, tears came falling down without me realizing it. Lisa felt the tear drops falling down on her face and she opened her eyes wondering. "Why are you crying Unnie? Is something bugging you? Tell me." She demanded. And I just said that I was fine. I was so excited just a while ago but suddenly, my emotions betrayed me. I wanted to tell her it is fine to cry but she is not saying anything about the pain she is feeling. Why won't she tell me the things that goes on her mind. And when I ask her who is Ahjumma in her life, why would she not tell me anything else other than she is her friend? The morning has just started but then it all came to start with a dramatic scene. I hope Lisa wll say what is on her mind. 


Hi guys! It was just Jennie's POV right now. I actually wanted to take some time writing the first chapter but since I saw some comments already, I just wrote what came in to my mind while thinking of Jennie and Lisa. I wrote this for 2-3 hours atleast just to make you guys happy. I hope you'd like it. I will do Lisa's POV next. Hopefully, I can update tomorrow again. Not sure since I still have a major exam to prepare for so there is just a probability :) I will try. It is already 12:30 AM here and I have to sleep. Goodnight/Goodmorning!