CHAPTER 11

Sejeong’s POV

A familiar chime woke her up from her sleep; she groaned and reached her phone she didn’t even bother to look at the caller’s ID.

“Hello?”  Her voice still hoarse, after all she just woke up.

“Sejeong.” A mundane voice called her, that voice sent shivers down her spine, literally.

“Dad? Why did you call, is something the matter?” Her voice is shaky but she just prayed that he didn’t notice it, but she doubt that – her dad literally notices the slightest detail about something.

Seconds had passed and her dad still hasn’t replied, “Dad?” She called. She got worried for a second.

“Sejeong, we have a family dinner, later. You need to come.” Her dad uttered. Surprisingly his voice is gentle and it wasn’t full of authority – but the hint of authority is still there.

“Uhm, sure.. What time?”

“7PM, don’t be late. Do you want me to pick you up?” Mr.Kim asked.

Sejeong was taken aback by her dad’s sudden thoughtfulness; she never heard those words from her dad. Not that her dad doesn’t love her, it’s just that she never heard such soothing words from someone who did nothing but make her feel left out.

“No, dad, it’s fine you bought me a car, right? Might as well use it.”

“Sure, don’t be late, okay? I’ll see you later.” He uttered before hanging the call.

She swears to God there was a disappointment in his voice. But she just shrugged it off because she was positive it was just her silly imagination.

She was finally able to breathe; she never thought that talking to your father can be so – exhausting. But she can’t deny that she feels happy that her dad finally cares for her.

Don’t get her wrong, her dad does care for her, but Sejeong just never felt it. When they would talk, he would just scold her. When Sejeong needed something, he would always say ‘Work hard for it then’. Her dad would always push her non-existent buttons, literally.

Because Sejeong doesn’t really get mad, even if she had all the reasons in the world to be. Being mad just isn’t her forte.

But when her dad asked her to go to America and leave Somi alone, she knew her dad already stepped out the line. She didn’t want to leave of course, but what option did she have?

None.

Both options will hurt someone, and she chose the option that killed her inside, literally, killed her inside.

She remembers those sleepless nights, where she would call Somi’s name knowing that the younger girl can’t hear her.

She remembers looking at a picture of them until her eyes gives in and closes.

She remembers how she changed her pillows every night because waiting for them to dry was too tiring.

She remembers how she apologizes to the wind and how ‘I’m sorry, Somi.’ Became her favorite phrase.

She remembers how her tears would gather when she heard Somi’s favorite song.

She remembers how hard it was to leave her bestfriend, girlfriend, and her everything behind.

She remembers everything,

And she doesn’t want to remember everything.

Sejeong was mad, no, furious even. But deep inside she knew Mr.Kim only did that for her sake, but she wished that he also realized that leaving Somi and Kyulkyung behind and starting a new life in a foreign country did more harm to her than good.

She even considered going to the Psychologist because she taught that she was going crazy.

‘How pitiful was I?’

She glanced at the clock and was shocked when it was already 6:35PM. She got up and took a shower and once she’s done she opened her closet and just whipped out anything her hands laid on.

A flannel and pair of black skinny jeans.

‘This will do, who the freak cares anyway?’

She wore the clothes, shoes included with such speed, she felt like she could get the Guinness record by how fast she put on her clothes. She grabbed her round framed glasses and dashed out her apartment.

-

She was greeted by the house maid when she entered the house – more like mansion. She went to dining area where she predicted her dad and brother would be, and she was right.

“Oh, my baby sister.” He got up and hugged Sejeong, like they didn’t see each other  a few days back.

“Yah, we had dinner a few days ago, don’t act like you haven’t seen me in ages.” She gently pushed her brother away.

“You ate dinner and you didn’t even invite me?” A voice grabbed their attention.

Her brother smirked and sat down, “Dad, we need some sibling time, you don’t have to tag along.”

Mr.Kim frowned, “You just didn’t want to invite me, stop making alibis.”

Her brother raised his hands in defeat, while Sejeong slowly sat down beside her dad.

She felt a familiar feeling in her stomach that she despised the most. She can’t help but feel envy, because her dad and her brother are always this close, while she’s here – feeling left out. She wished that the food will come out soon so she can just stuff her face with it and leave.

“Dad, my little sister is graduating next week, I’m so proud.” Her brother uttered, he acted like he wiped his non-existent tear.

Sejeong didn’t say anything, she smiled and she realized that someone in her family still cares, after all.

“I know right.” Mr.Kim uttered, he shifted his gaze to his daughter, “Since, you’re graduating soon which such good grades, do you want something?” He paused and tapped his chin as if he’s thinking of something, “A new car? How about a new apartment? Oh, oh, or do you want to go somewhere? France? Australia? Dubai? Anywhere.” His father excitedly suggested.

Sejeong looked at her brother confusingly but her brother only smiled and mouthed a ‘Go on.’ She then looked at her father who’s shockingly also looking at her but – smiling.

‘Such a rare view.’

“So? What do you want?”

Sejeong looked down and stared at her shoes, “What do I want?” She whispered.

“Yeah, what do you want?”

‘What do I want?’

‘I want to go back to the past where I was truly happy, the past that is now only a vivid memory, that’s what I want.’

‘But who am I kidding? I can’t possibly have that, even if I pay someone 1M dollars – it’s still impossible.’

Sejeong bitterly chuckled, “It’s okay, father.”

Mr.Kim shakes his head, “No, what do you want, Sejeong? I can give it to you.”

She clenched her fist and bit her lower lip hard – but not hard enough to draw blood,

“Dad, you can’t.” She looked at her father as her tears threaten to fall, “You can’t give back the past that you ruined.”

Her father’s strong and sharp gaze softened when he saw his daughter so vulnerable in front of him. He felt a painful pang in his chest.

“Sejeong, I- I’m sorry.” He placed his hand on top of Sejeong’s clenched fist, “I regret my decisions, Sejeong, f-forgive me-“

Sejeong shaked his hands of her, it didn’t comfort her, it made her feel worse, “Its fine dad. Don’t worry; I also regret all of my decisions.. If only I studied harder, if only I was as intelligent as brother-“

“Sejeong, enough!” Her brother cuts her off; he looked angry – very angry.

“No, listen to me!” She gave her brother an angry gaze before looking back at her father, “It’s the truth right, dad? If only I had straight 1, you wouldn’t have to send me to America to study..” She wiped her tears that was now flowing down her cheeks, to her chin and ending up in her jeans,

“If only I was good enough for you.. Then Somi would still be right here.. By my side.” Her voice cracked.

Her vision becomes blurry because the tears come too fast, but it felt good she felt like she finally released something so heavy. She kept so much of her feelings bottled up to the point where it started to drive her mentally insane.

She felt a pair of gentle and strong arms wrapped around her body, she knew it wasn’t her brother, he hugged her millions of times and she’s ashamed to say that she knows how her brother’s body feels like.

The arms that are wrapped around her, is new, foreign, but it was comforting, it felt nice. She never felt those arms around her before not even when she was child. In her 24 years of living – this is the first time her father hugged her so lovingly.

Her father is kneeling on the floor so he could match the height of Sejeong sitting down, “Sejeong, forgive me. I never meant to hurt you so greatly.”

Mr.Kim felt a sting in his eyes, oh how rare for this to happen. Mr.Kim tearing up? The last time this happened is when her wife died, and that was 8 years ago.

He wiped his eyes; he didn’t want them to see this fragile side of him. He wanted to act strong in front of his kids, he acted like her wife’s death was nothing because he didn’t want to look weak, but seeing her daughter like this in front of him?

It honestly breaks his heart.

He gently pushed Sejeong away from him, his hands on her shoulder and their eyes locked, Sejeong’s eyes reminds him so much of his wife, when Sejeong cries he felt like her wife was crying in front of him.

“Sejeong, listen to me. Forgive me I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel unwanted; I only wanted you to learn how to live independently, but I feel like that wasn’t the right way to do it.” He wiped her daughter’s tears, and smiled.

She really got her mother’s beautiful gray eyes.

“Let father make things better. Let me fix the mess I’ve done.”

“What do you mean? You’re not going to force Somi to be with me right?” Panic and fear sipped in Sejeong’s blood.

“I will if I have to.”

Sejeong eyes widen, she pushed her dad away, “No, don’t please.” She pretty much pleaded.

Sejeong pleading? That’s also a rare view.

Her dad chuckled and messed her hair up, “I’m just kidding, I told you I’ll fix the mess I’ve done right? Forcing Somi will only make it worst, so that doesn’t fix anything. Don’t worry, there will no forcing and blackmailing this time.” He gave her daughter a small smile.

“Let me be a father, and let me fix this, okay?”

-

Hey, so yeah. I've gotten really lazy this past few days so I was only able to this I don't even know chapter. As you can tell I like to torture my readers by forcing them to switch up sides every chapter LOLOLOLOL, forgive me. Anyways, this story will be longer than planned. 'Cause, tbh I don't want to end it xD. But I have to :<.. maybe like 5 or more or less chapters to go. Hang on tight, this will a roller coaster of feels, buckle up :D