SIX

me : how much longer do i have to wait to find you?
me : i just want you
me : i want to find out what you face looks like
me : what your voice sounds like
me : if you really are an inch shorter or is it more?
me : who knows? not me.

kkukkungie : attacked aGAIN
kkukkungie : why would i think anything would change?
kkukkungie : and i am only an inch shorter
kkukkungie : but i am also younger, means another growth spurt

me : dammit

kkukkungie : caught you out, baby?

me : yeah—

kkukkungie : i can feel you pouting
kkukkungie : now i have the image stuck in my head

me : why don't you come over here and change that then?
me : i'm at the library

kkukkungie : that was still... so not smooth
kkukkungie : so much sandpaper
kkukkungie : why are you at the library anyway?
kkukkungie : you never study here

me : i'm not studying
me : moneys getting a little tight 
me : i work here so i took up extra shifts
me : turns out the rent for a two bedroom apartment is not cheap
me : plus it works out well, theres a cute boy who always studies here

kkukkungie : i could have told you that
kkukkungie : my roommate and his boyfriend live with me 
kkukkungie : luckily our jobs pay well
kkukkungie : or we would 
kkukkungie : wAIT
kkukkungie : cute boy? who?

me : not sure of his name, i barely see him
me : i dont have a crush, more hopeless pining

kkukkungie : pining after someone is as good as a crush
kkukkungie : what does he look like?
kkukkungie : i want to meet him and see if he's good enough for you
kkukkungie : you deserve only the best

me : even if it's not you?
me : what will you do then?

kkukkungie : yes, even if its not me
kkukkungie : i'll wait for you
kkukkungie : because i believe that one day, it will be me
kkukkungie : i didn't last two years without patience

me : *chokes from sweetness*
me :  one day, i am going to die because of this

kkukkungie : no you won't love
kkukkungie : now quit stalling

me : damn okay
me : he's got light brown hair
me : and he always has sweater paws 
me : sometimes i see him with glasses, and i just die
me : i've heard he is really smart too
me : and his lips are so pink

kkukkungie : smart and handsome
kkukkungie : sounds worthy for you
kkukkungie : why don't you talk to him?

me : at first, i was scared
me : i didn't want him to be one of those people
me : the pretty ones with a bad personality

kkukkungie : at first
kkukkungie : continue on baby, you are leaving something out

me : its you
me : my reason is you

kkukkungie : me?
kkukkungie : why i am your reason for not letting yourself be happy
kkukkungie : why would you do that to yourself?

me : because
me : i want to meet you
me : to see your face
me : hear your laugh
me : and just because i like him, doesn't mean he likes me
me : not the way you do

kkukkungie : you're conflicted
kkukkungie : between him and... me?
kkukkungie : between someone you can see and one you've never met
kkukkungie : this is a joke, it has to be
kkukkungie : i'm not lucky enough for a chance to be with you

me : it's no joke
me : i am conflicted because of you
me : because i want to give you a chance too
me : and who cares if i haven't met you?
me : you deserve to have me believe in you
me : as much as you believe in me

❀

kihyun adjusts his glasses as he watches his screen fade back to black without any new messages from the other male, pushing up the golden bridge that had been resting precariously on the end of his nose with an index finger. of course moving his glasses jostles his hair and pieces of his fringe fall into his eyes despite the glasses obstructing them. letting out a huff,  he fixes his fringe as well so that it doesn't fall into his eyes as bad. his face still feels hot from the small confession he had texted and after pushing his phone into the pocket of his black slacks, fans at his face with both hands like a girl that just saw a really hot shirtless guy. he cringes and switches the girl to a guy, muttering 'ew my hetero is showing' under his breath.

it was mid-fan that the door to the break room is opened and panicked, kihyun sits on his hands although realising afterwards that it just made himself more suspicious as wonwoo raised a quirked eyebrow in his direction. but his coworker doesn't seem intent on embarrassing the older male today, slumping into the chair across from him, placing his head on folded arms and closing his eyes. kihyun notes the dark crescents present beneath his eyes and the paler skin tone. the younger male was studying literature and took vocal lessons with the brunette, but it was clear that his classes as well as living with his constantly hyperactive tree of a boyfriend was wearing him out if the small snores he was emitting had anything to say for it. kihyun decides to let him sleep and draping his coat over wonwoo's sleeping frame, writes a note that he would take the rest of his shift and to let the other boy rest.

sticking the said note to the door, he hauls the closest stack of books onto the library's trolley, heading to the shelves to return the books. exams for the younger years had occurred earlier in the week, so most of the textbooks for certain subjects had been borrowed which resulted in the wooden shelves resembling swiss cheese with the amount of gaps caused by missing books. however the situation overall worked in kihyun's favour, since he was free and there was a lot more shifts to cover for the exam-taking coworkers.

already by telling his boss jonghyun that he was free next week, kihyun had gotten himself an extra three shifts, comprising that with minhyuk's two shifts at the café and hyunwoo's entire weeknights at the gym as a trainer, they would be able to pass smoothly this month in terms of paying bills and apartment rent. luckily. 

he refills another four shelves before his mind wanders, pulling his eyes along with it as he checks on their newest employee eunwoo. the youngest of the five librarians (jongin was out on a date with his fianceé) seems to work well though and kihyun's shoulders lose their tension, focusing on the bright smile and serene personality that eunwoo was delivering. attracted like two ends of a magnet, he finds himself looking at the topic for his and kkukkungie's conversation, the younger males head bowed with cinnamon-brown strands falling into his eyes as he looked at the math textbooks splayed open on his desk. kihyun just watches as he nibbles absent-mindely at the end of his pen, tapping it against his temple with a bright smile when he internally works out the answer, jotting it down on his book before moving onto the next question.

moving his gaze away, he focuses on the book in his hands as to not get caught by the boy. that would just lead to explaining himself, and he would rather not want to talk to such a male when he had a lisp. it's not like he means to search for him, rather it just happens subconciously and before the short brunette realises it, his eyes are focused on the male that is doing anything but looking at him. it's pathetic really, but he can't help but be drawn like a moth to a flame.

his presence always immediately calms him, being simple and comforting and warm. it's the polar opposite of xx, who is intricate and loving and fiery-hot. xx reminds him of the sappy love novels that fill two shelves towards the front of the library, the ones with forbidden loves with men so hot it has him sweating. the younger male however reminds him of the feeling of relaxing after a day of work, of coming home. he feels like home. he feels like home and it just makes kihyun want to be wrapped up in his embrace even more.

he wants to be able to see him up close, in person, rather than just zooming in with his camera. kihyun wants to be in those sappy novels where you count your lover's eyelashes and press kisses to their entire face, god, he could wish for nothing more than for it to be with him... or someone else. but the thought of not being able to choose between the two boys only seves as a migraine and as he massages his temples with one hand, begins putting away the last few books before heading over to switch places with eunwoo. 

the youngest smiles gratefully and lets out a sigh, releasing his shoulders from their straight position and relaxing a little now that he didn't have everyone's eyes on him. he had it the hardest out of any of the five, taking courses in singing and acting but luckily his boyfriend wasn't as bad as wonwoo's man, and instead treated him like a complete prince when he had the chance too. it definitely made both kihyun and jonghyun a little jealous, the older of the pair had been trying his hardest to woo lee taemin for most of the year. kihyun looks again to the studying male but only briefly, focusing on talking to the long line of students in front of him holding their books that they want to borrow.

wrapped up in his work, it's an hour later when he looks up and comes face to face with his six set of gifts, yet another flower and letter. kihyun's flower of today is a stunner, with three pointed warm yellow petals from the centre that are striped brown and tipped pink, the rest of the petals are wider and curve around the yellow petals yet are coloured a light pink. 

one of his friends from his vocal class, park jinyoung, stands there holding the gifts towards him with an embarrassed look on his face. he immediately knows that jinyoung has to be a friend to xx, if his eight-year relationship with im jaebum has anything to say for it. "oh my, thank you" kihyun stammers out after a long while, realising that he hadn't even spoken yet.  

"no need to thank me, it's um.. his gifts afterall" jinyoung replies, stammering a little also "he been getting me to give these to you for the past six days anyway" the younger finishes with a shrug and kihyun innocently giggles. "t-that wa-s-s you?" he manages to say between his laughs "i don't think i have ever seen anyone sprint away so fast"

"yeah, i kinda remembered i left the stove on at home. jaebum and our other roommate can't cook to save their lives, so if i burnt down the kitchen, we would be screwed" he comments and kihyun sighs empathetically "i've done that too, but we've already got scorch marks from hyunwoo's attempts, now the closest he is allowed to a stove is when he's backhugging minhyuk".

the pair laugh and jinyoung waves goodbye as kihyun opens his letter, eyes immediately roaming over the calligraphy words inked delicately on the page. 

and once again, due to kihyun's intense focus on reading the letter in his hand and gently sniffing at the newest flower, he misses how jinyoung cups a hand on a familiar shoulder. he also misses the mentions of his name, the blush on his cheeks and the brunette swatting the older male's hands away.

hey love,

to most people, wealth is only acquired in how much money you possess. my wealth however is you. your smiles, your laughter, your dimples, your freckles, everything you are even down to your slender fingers, is like precious gold to me. and i am the jealous dragon baby, i want you all to myself. i want your smiles to be for me, i want your dimples to make an appearance due to something i said, i want to lay next to you and count the freckles with my lips, i want to tangle my fingers with yours. wealth is not much when boasted about, but i want to proudly show you off as mine. when will i get the chance to?

always yours,

xx