It was not all gloom and doom and unrequited love.

No, no. What they had was real and something special. Jaehwan was sure of that.

There were days and periods where it was rainbows and sunshine; where she smiled and gazed at him like he was the only one in the world, and he in return, thought that she really was the only one in the world for him.

It was like heaven on earth.

Those were the times that Jaehwan was sure that she loved him too.

99.9% sure.

I see it again today, I see your eyes
The person who will only love me
You’re waiting for me from far away
You are my love

I keep laughing like an immature child
When all I’m doing is just walking with you

Jaehwan was usually the one initiating the next lesson/meet up. But there was once when she asked him first.

He had never felt so excited before in his life.

He followed her text directions that led him to a small park just outside of the city, but she was nowhere to be seen. He wandered around for a bit, taking in the fresh air and beautiful flowers along the path.

“Jaehwan-oppa!”

He looked up at saw her waving to him from gazebo just across from him. Even from where he stood, she could see her bright smile that could light up the darkest sky. He felt a smile forming on his face in response, and the smile never faded for the rest of the day.

It was one of the best feelings in the world.

When I see you, when I hold your hand
My days pass by so quickly
Love is more joyful than pain
It’s the love that I learned from you

The beginning of the year was always a busy time for idol groups. There were new year greetings to wish, meetings to plan for the year, and music award shows to attend.

That year was particularly difficult, because Apink was scheduled to tour in America for the first two weeks. While he was happy for her and her group’s success, he was also disappointed as it meant less opportunities and time to meet up.

So he found himself squeezing time out and making full use of every free time that they had that coincided to meet, even if it meant that he had to rush after a tiring day of practice and travel all the way to somewhere near her dorm.

He would do it for just five minutes with her.

They would sit in the park near her dorm; sometimes with endless chatter about each other’s day, other times in comfortable silence. Sometimes with takeaway food, other times with just whatever snacks he had leftover in his bag.

And after that when it was time, they would walk back to her dorm together, her hand in his.

Time just flies by every time he was with her.

He always wished he could slow it down.

Even in my small room, it’s only filled with your scent
The person who I will only love
Even when I’m sad and crying
Without a doubt, you’ll be the one who would stand there
You are my love

“Are you alright?”

They were having their lesson in his small practice room, and she was looking at him with concern.

He should have known better that she would be able to pick out when he was not in the right frame of mind.

He gave her a small smile and a shrug. “Was just thinking of my family this morning and how I miss them.”

Her face softened with empathy.

“You must think I’m such a mummy’s boy, right?” He joked with a laugh.

She smiled, but shook her head earnestly.

“I miss my family every day too. It sounds stupid given all the success that we have had and the things we have had the opportunity to experience... but family is still family.”

Jaehwan looked away, sensing his tears threatening to fall. She had just spoken the very words he was thinking and feeling, and the accuracy of it all was daunting.

“Hey,” she said softly, touching his arm. “It’s okay to cry.”

The next thing he knew, she was tight in his arms and he was brawling his eyes out.

If she was shocked or surprised, she didn’t show it. Instead, her arms around his waist and neck, fingers his back and hair, were all the comfort that he needed.

You don’t have to say anything, just hold me
It’s just you and me under the empty sky

Probably the boldest thing they had ever done together was when they escaped to Busan for the weekend. She often talked of showing him the place where she grew up, the empty beach and beautiful night sky where she dreamt dreams and wished wishes as a young child.

Let’s do it this weekend, he had suggested jokingly.

His eyes nearly popped out of his head when she said yes.

So there they were, lying on the beach under the clear night sky. Miles away from their city and idol life, lies away from their managers and group members. Her head in the crook of his neck, his arms around her protectively; her hand on his thumping heart, his thumb hers.

No words.

Just the two of them under the night sky.

Let’s not rush, let’s not hesitate
I’m afraid things will fade suddenly
The times we have left to spend together are filled with happiness
I thank you, my love

“Oppa?”

“Yes?” Jaehwan opened his eyes. He had been enjoying the light breeze on his face, and the warmth of her body against his.

“Thank you for this,” she mumbled, absent-mindedly playing with their intertwined fingers. “I am glad to have found you.”

He glanced down at her. There were so many things he wanted to say, to express his wholehearted response, but words seemed too inadequate to describe how full and complete he felt at that moment.

So he just pulled her to him even more tightly, and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

He hoped that she understood.

When I see you, when I hold your hand
My days pass by so quickly
Love is more joyful than pain
It’s the love that I learned from you

It was his favourite period with her – those times when they were in sync with their love. He always looked back to that time fondly.

By allowing him to love her, she taught him to love.

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- When I See You by Jaehwan/Ken (VIXX) from Moorim School OST