“Unni!”

As I entered the café, I was suddenly bombarded by 3 adult women with a bear hug. At first, I was surprised at the action but I slowly eased to the comforting warmth the 3 of the gave me. I felt soft pats on my back before we all pulled away from each other.

“Unni, we thought you wouldn’t come,” Minzy said as we all sat down. She quickly called the attention of a waiter “Excuse me Ms., we would like to order another cup of chamomile tea please”

The waitress nodded before she went back to gather orders from newly arrived customers. I wasn’t scared of being caught in this café because this was actually one of the places where celebrities could casually hang out since there was a separate section where celebrities were transferred to.

The 3 quickly filled me in with their previous conversation. They were just talking about what they’ve been doing for the past few months. Bom was just spending time with close friends, her family, and spending as much time as she could to be a normal woman in her thirties for even just a while. While Minzy was busy preparing for her debut album, writing and producing music in between the sets of Sister’s Slam Dunk 2. Chaerin was horribly fatigued from her promotion in North America, even as she sat in front of us in full makeup, I could see the puffiness of her eyelids. I would honestly want her to be resting at this moment but it has been too long since the four of us sat together to talk.

“Unni, have you decided what to wear?” Chaerin asked.

I didn’t notice that I was staring at the already empty cup of tea in front of me. I knew Minzy ordered me chamomile because she knew of my nerves and hoped that a cup of tea would ease them. I blinked away the daze I was in and raised my head, only to see the 3 of them looking at me with concern.

“Umm… what?” I asked.

Bom placed a hand on top of mine. “Are you alright D? How’s your hangover?”

“I’m alright.” I took her hand in mine. They didn’t look convinced though. “I just wasn’t myself for a few seconds. What was that again Chaerin?”

“It’s about the party later. Have you decided what to wear noona?”

“Oh, nothing yet. I’ve been too busy to even shop for anything.” I answered. Chaerin suddenly clapped, making me slightly jump on my seat.

“Then that settles it. We can all go and buy together.”

“We can’t do that Chaerin,” Bom said. “We aren’t 2NE1 anymore. Having the four of us together in public would probably be an additional headache to Sajangnim.”

“You’re right. I wouldn’t want to risk that.” Chaerin nodded as she took a sip of her coffee.

I spoke. “We’ll be fine Chaerin. I’m sure we all have stylists to help us. Besides, we don’t have to dress up that much since we’re not the star of the party. I actually thought of just wearing some jeans and a cool looking sweater.”

“Unni, no” Minzy said. “You can’t dress up like that in a party filled with reporters. Besides, he will be there.”

The girls stiffened at the thought of him. I felt my throat close up but I faked it with a laugh. “You can say his name Minzy. It’s not like hearing his name will kill me or anything” The girls laughed awkwardly which ended up in all four of us taking a sip from our cups despite mine being empty.

I snickered lightly at how similar the cup is to me. We both are empty. A hollow case missing something, anything that could fill the vacant corpse. I slowly started hating myself. If I didn’t drink the tea, then this glass will probably still be full, whole. But because of me, I made it feel the same way I did. Emptiness. But at least for the cup, its space can be replaced easily, since it's forever accepting to whoever wanted or whatever wanted to contain its emptiness unlike me, who probably will never move on enough to open myself enough.

I sighed deeply as I continued to stare at the empty cup, buried in unwanted thoughts. My fingers were shaking at it held the ceramic. I tried to harden my grip on the cup to ease my shakiness but in was all for naught. Suddenly, a hand enveloped the object, slowly removing it from my grasp. As I raised my head, I felt the tears trickling down my cheeks. My hands quickly went to catch the falling tears, transferring its wetness to the sleeves of my clothes.

“Unni, you should rest.” Chaerin held my hand as she looked at me in concern. “You don’t have to go to the party. I’ll tell Sajangnim that you weren’t feeling well.”

“I’m alright. I have to go Chaerin.”

“D, how many times have you said that?” Bom asked as she placed her cup down.

“Huh?” I raised an eyebrow in question.

“That you’re alright.” Bom locked me in her gaze. My tears slowly formed in my eyes, threatening to fall. “That you’re fine. That everything is alright. D, you don’t have to act in front of us. We’re your sisters. We didn’t want to force you into talking but because of that, you’re hurting. You’re closing yourself off. There’s nothing wrong with crying you know.” She smiled as she held the hand Chaerin was also holding.

“She’s right unni.” Minzy said as she also held the same hand. “We’re your sisters. We might not always be there physically but we can be here to listen. If you keep it in yourself, one of these days, it will be too much that you can’t hold it in anymore.”

“Unni” Chaerin called me. “We’ll always be 2NE1 no matter what anyone says. We’ve been sisters since we’ve trained together and we know you. We grew up with you. We know that right now, you’re keeping up a façade.”

I felt then tighten their grip on my hand as my head slowly fell in despair. “I can’t help it you know. It’s already a habit. I know that keeping it in myself isn’t the best solution but right now, I… I just can’t. Right now, I don’t feel like talking about it. I’m still trying to figure it out like my head can’t wrap around the idea of me and J- him not being together anymore.” I raised my head to face their gazes. “But I promise, one day, I’ll be able to talk about it. But right now, I… I just really can’t.”

We sat there for a few minutes with me crying and then just looking at me with support and concern in their eyes. I needed that. I needed the support. I’ve been too dependent on one person that I forgot there were others who were always there. I might not be able to say my piece at the moment, but I know one day I will, and they will be there to listen intently.

My emotional conflict was suddenly interrupted by a loud voice booming. “2NE1”

We all quickly fixed ourselves to welcome the shockingly present guest.

“Hello TOP oppa” Minzy was the first one to stand up and greet him with a bow. We all followed suit though. “It’s been a long time.”

“Same goes here Minzy” Top smiled. “Chaerin how was your tour?”

We all scooted over to let Top sit. He sat beside me and Chaerin. Chaerin responded. “It was tiring but a fun experience. I’m actually taking a break then by tomorrow, I’ll have to take a flight back to America.”

“That’s unfortunate. We Big Bang wanted to spend more time with you after tonight.” Top said as he looked at each of us. He then stopped to look at me. I fidgeted on my seat because I honestly didn’t want to be bombarded with questions. I didn’t know if Top knew about me and Jiyong but I hoped not. But I knew he would notice something was wrong because by now, my eyes should be as red as a tomato.

“You seem to have had a horrible hangover noona” Top laughed. I didn’t notice that I was holding my breath until I exhaled shakily. “You should call Jiyong about that. He knows more about handling a hangover more than anyone.”

Bom quickly slapped Top on his side. Top flinched in response. As he was about to retort, he noticed the deadly gaze on the girls. He seemed to have understood and quickly changed the topic. “Minzy, how’s your album going?”

“I’m still lacking some songs for the album but it’s going smoothly. Making songs are actually very fun once you finish.” Minzy replied.

Everyone started conversing in a more flowy manner except me. I just sat there and listened to everyone laughing and joking around. Top is actually a very funny person if you talk to him casually but there are moments when he goes too deep into a topic which I actually found pleasing. But his character is the one I really am interested in. He’s not shy to goof up a storm so we both are really compatible in that department. Fooling around with him is very interesting and it ends up with me a giggling mess.

While they were busy chatting up a storm, my phone suddenly buzzed. I took it from my bag and checked the message. I found that Jjangmae was outside to fetch me. I was supposed to use the rest of the minutes to ready myself for the party.

“Guys, I have to go,” I said as I stood up to greet them a farewell.

“Do you have a ride,” Top asked. “I can give you one. I’m supposed to leave now anyways.”

“It fine. I already have a ride.” I said after giving each of the girls a hug. “Bye girls. I have to go now”

“I’ll walk you to your van” Top said. I nodded my head as I swung my bag around my body. We both wore the face mask before we walked.

As we walked outside the building, Top took this chance to ask me. “What happened back there?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m not stupid Dara. Is something going on with you and Jiyong?”

“Nothing’s going on with me and him,” I said while fidgeting. “Well, at least nothing anymore.”

“What?” Top’s eyebrows furrowed. He stood in front of me and raised my head so that I could look him in the eye. Despite the atmosphere, his face was gentle and drowned in concern. “What’s that supposed to mean? Are you and Jiyong- “

Before Top could finish his question, a van parked in front of the two of us and honked its horn. I pulled away from Top and looked at the van, checking if it was my ride. When the windows rolled down, I saw the smiling face of my manager. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“I’ll see you later?” I asked Top. He seemed to have wanted to talk more. It was obvious he had a lot of questions for me but he decided to let me go.

“Sure. I’ll see you later.” He smiled as he stepped aside to open the van for me. He helped me in by holding my arm. Before he closed the door, he looked me in the eyes and said, “If you need a distraction, just come find me.” I was confused at his choice of words and what he meant by it but he followed it up when he noticed that I didn’t catch his drift. “In the party. If you want to stay of away from Jiyong, just look for me and I’ll be there.”

“Thanks, oppa” I smiled. He smiled back before he closed the van and we sped off. I needed that. A distraction, at least later. There would probably be a huge chance where Jiyong and I would encounter each other and I didn’t want that to happen. My stomach was already bubbling up in fear of what could happen later. As long as I stick to a group and I don’t stray away to be alone, then he won’t catch me to talk. I’ll probably leave once the reporters leave. I’ll just use my schedule for tomorrow as an excuse. Besides, my schedule tomorrow is hectic. It’s a viable excuse.

“I’ll be fine” I kept whispering to myself like a mantra, a chant as my stylists started getting me ready for the party later. I honestly didn’t care what they put on me or what they did to my hair. My mind was flying off somewhere in the universe enough for me to care. I just came back to reality once I found in the hotel where the party was being held.

Once I stepped inside the building, there was a sudden bombard of camera flashes. I quickly raised a hand and smiled as I went to stand in front of the huge tarpaulin where they took my photos. After a few minutes, my eyes were already flinching at the bright lights and that’s when my manager took the chance to excuse me from the reporters that I already am needed inside. Before I entered the door, I took a deep gulp of air, wanting to calm my nerves and my loudly beating heart. I hoped that the loud music could camouflage the painful drum of my heartbeat. When Jjangmae opened the door, that’s when I took it as a cue to face whatever was destined for me in this party.

I was quickly greeted by familiar faces, most of YG staffs and fellow artists. I took a fast scan of my surrounding. Most of the guests were on the dance floor, jumping and jamming to the beat of the DJ who loved talking to the crowd. The rest were in the bar and tables, talking and catching up. But before I drown myself in alcohol, I had to find a group to hide myself in. As I scanned the crowd, that’s when I noticed Bom screaming on the dance floor. I strutted to her, making sure I was still smiling because there were reporters and photographers in the room. I did my best to avoid the reporters though because they held interviews with whoever seemed free.

When I reached Bom, she already looked intoxicated as hell. When she saw me, she ran and enveloped me in her arms, crushing me under her weight.

“Dara, you’re here! I was waiting for you, my rabbit” Bom pouted as she pulled on my cheeks. She was still flipping her hair to the rhythm as she talked. “And here I thought you were going to wear jeans. Girl, you look smoking.”

That’s when I started to take notice of what I was wearing. It was a pink sleeveless fluffy dress that stopped mid-thigh. With a similar colored clutch around my torso and a pearl necklace. To say I looked innocent was an understatement.

“I couldn’t convince my stylists for me to wear jeans. But Bom, you look hotter than me.” I said as I took her hand and twirled her around, scanning her outfit. She was wearing a white dress with cutouts showing her voluptuous figure, a body so opposite of mine. I neither have the curves or figure of a woman. Probably why men get bored of me. I know I have the face, the visual, but once men get past that, they get disappointed.

“Unni!” I looked around to see Chaerin and Minzy pushing people away to get to Bom and I. Both of them looked amazing. Chaerin was wearing pink overalls with only a white lingerie underneath. Minzy was wearing both white pants and top with a lot of cutouts. “We waited for you. Come on, we need to greet the Big Bang oppas.”

Chaerin grabbed me and Bom and walked towards this table on the second floor, overlooking the dance floor. Despite Bom being very intoxicated, she walked in front of me and softly pushed me behind her, probably her motherly instincts.

“2NE1!” Seungri screamed as we approached them. Bom kept a grip on my wrist as she greeted all of them.

“Congratulation oppas,” Chaerin said. That was when I took my time to scan each of them. They were actually really cleaned up for this event. Rather than their usual ripped and casual clothes, they were wearing tailored suits that still showered their characters. As I looked around, I found that Jiyong was not with them. After realization, I exhaled deeply. Bom also noticed this because she finally let go of my arm.

“Sit with us.” Taeyang invited. We didn’t want to be rude so we accepted the invitation. Once we all sat, that’s when Taeyang said something that made the room colder than it was. “Dara noona, if you’re looking for Jiyong, he’s probably in the bar.”

All the 2NE1 girls and Top stiffened. They looked at me in concern. That’s when I felt Bom grip my hand tightly.

“It’s fine Young-bae. We barely spend time with each other so we want Ssantokki for ourselves for the night.” Bom spoke, quick to change the conversation. “So, how’s your album?”

Everyone started easing into the conversation. I couldn’t help but join in too. I started feeling like I belonged to something after a long time. After everything that happened