He's probably busy, busy in Japan promoting Big Bang. His phone is probably out of charge. His laptop could have crashed. There might be no service or internet in his place. His schedule must be jampacked. He could be asleep right now. He probably wanted to call but he was too fatigued.

It's been exactly 7 weeks and 3 days since we last talked.

I miss his voice. The voice that weakens my knees and makes my heart drop to the floor. The voice that converts my whole being into pudding. His laughter whenever I can't help but be clumsy.

I miss his face. I miss seeing him smile or frown from the other side of the screen. I miss our video calls when he runs his fingers through his hair.

I miss his eyes. Those dark orbs that drown me whenever I willingly dive in its pool.

I miss his lips. Those soft lips that imprisons my sanity in his clutches. The god-like creation that feeds my imaginations with dreams of our future where our love would last a lifetime.

But alas, everything ends. It was inevitable. Just like 2NE1. I hoped that our group would last longer but it just didn't.

When we disbanded, I was in one of the lowest points in my life. You'll find me mostly lying down on my bed, reminiscing the moments I had with CL, Minzy, and Bommie with tears flowing like a broken dam. I had people there to support me though, other than the fans. My family visited my apartment every week to make sure I was at least keeping myself hygienic and healthy. Other celebrity friends called me to make sure I was still sane and kept me company when they had time.

But he wasn't there. Jiyong was absent. He may have called me once to check up on me. But after that 5 minute call, I never heard from him again. I had to be the one to call him.

The moment when I needed him the most, he just wasn't there. I denied the thoughts circling around my head that could lead to our destruction. But it was there. I had to convince myself that he was probably busy. He just didn't have time to talk to me. He was probably tired.

But...

Why were the rest of the Big Bang members able to contact me more than once?

Wait.

He's probably busy. He is the leader of the best boy band in the world. He had a lot on his plate.

Those were the words I repeated to myself like a broken record. A mantra to keep myself sane. I knew that I was already at my breaking point. If anything were to happen, I would break and lose my mind.

If anything, our relationship was already on the rocks. I knew I loved him, more that when we just started out as a couple but I just wasn't sure if he felt the same anymore. But I trusted our words of devotion to each other throughout the years. Those sweet, intoxicating but deceiving words.

Because of that, I never expected what happened next...

"Noona! Hey, why'd you call?"

I placed my bag on the counter. I just came back from a photoshoot but I had to check up on Jiyong. I couldn't take the constant unanswered calls anymore. Despite the fatigue I felt, I decided to call him but as usual, it went into voice mail. So I decided to call someone else.

"Hi Seungri." I smiled as I removed my shoes and placed them in the cabinet. I noticed the loud screams of people and the ear shattering beats in the background. "Is Jiyong with you?"

"Umm somewhat. I’m sure he's somewhere here. Probably dancing. Why? Couldn't you contact him?"

Oh. So he's in a club. "I can't. Actually, it’s been weeks since he answered my calls. Probably something went wrong with his phone."

"That can't be right. He definitely called someone a few hours ago. I thought it was you noona based on how he spoke. He was calling her babe and stuff."

Everything in my world crashed. All I heard was this unstoppable buzz in my ear. My head was pounding as loud as my nervous heart. I felt that I actually froze still.

"Noona?" Seungri called from the other side of the phone. "Dara noona? Hello? Did she hang up? Hello?"

I forced myself out of my state. I shook my head and stood up from the couch, wanting to stare at the view out my window to calm myself even just a little. "Sorry. I was just trying to remember. I totally forgot we talked a few hours ago. It's probably the stress."

Why am I trying to protect him?

Because you are Sandara Park and you wouldn't want his friends to look at him in a bad way. Stop. It may have been a misunderstanding. It could've been him talking to his mother. You can call your mother your "babe"... right?

"You should sleep noona. These past few weeks had been stressful for you. Don't mind Jiyong hyung here. I'll make sure to keep an eye on him."

"Thank Seungri ah" I smiled softly, wanting nothing else but to drop the phone call and wrap myself with my blankets but I heard his voice. The voice that I haven't heard from for 7 weeks and 3 days.

"Maknae, who are you talking to?" He sounded exactly the same as I imagined.

"Oh its Dara noona. She just wanted to check up on you. It’s funny. Didn't you guys talk a few hours ago? Wait. Didn't you tell her you'd be in this club tonight?"

No. I know nothing.

"Give me the phone Seungri" I heard Jiyong sigh.

"Sure hyung. I'll leave you two together."

Honestly, I couldn't think of what to say. There was this thick silence between us I was dying to break. I wanted to ask him how his day was. That was the purpose of my checking up on him. But from what S