Ch- 11

The distance from the elevator to the canteen was not a long way but it seemed far. Partially because you did not want to go there with your world tearing apart. Your shoulders were droopy and your face looked like a swollen watermelon, or so you thought. The tempo at which your feet moved was next to nothing. Your thoughts kept drifting to the boy you had met in a cold storage room, once a million years ago it seemed. He had never been anything but sweet to you, except now. He was bitter and you did not understand why.

You remembered the last time he had liked a girl and told you about it.

“That’s her with the red bow, beside the ice cream truck.” He pointed at her through the crowd. “She’s okay I guess.”

“OKAY?! What are you blind? She’s gorgeous.” You snapped back in your usual excited self.

“She is” he said turning to face your way, only to mumble away once you had met his gaze. “I mean her. Yeah.”

“O my god I can’t believe you are this nervous about a girl. Okay look my way.” You said holding his face and rotating it towards yours. “Suppose I am her right? What’s her name?”

“Saerin” he replied.

“Okay so think of me as Saerin, or whatever, and ask me out!” you said cheerfully.

“A…sk…you…out?” he stuttered.

“Yeah! I mean not me me. Think of me as her.

“Okay…umm…hi…” he took a deep breath possibly to shape the words he wanted to state “You are beautiful, just as beautiful as your name. Every day I wonder how you manage to think you are not because every time I look at you I am left in awe. Not because you are the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen but your heart is so pure it makes me want to protect you forever. I hope the day never comes when,” he paused to stare right at you with the most love you had ever seen in anyone’s eyes, “when I am not in love with you.”

His feelings seemed genuine. You couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of her. He was a handsome boy and you knew for a fact that anyone he loves will be the only one he loves. You weren’t sure if it was those words, but he suddenly looked more attractive. Every time he spoke his lips pouted in to a perfect heart, in the most masculine yet cute manner. He batted his long lashes, not removing his gaze from yours at any time and it made you blush. You had to mentally pinch yourself to remember that those words were not for your entertainment.

“Oh…umm…wow Dae. That was quite nice. How long have you known her?” you had to work extra hard to not stammer those words.

“Just met her yesterday” he replied rather casually.

“What the hell Dae! I thought you genuinely meant it. You jerk.” You punched him repeatedly earning a chuckle from those perfect lips.

“Ouch! Stop it. I did mean it. Not for her though.”

You halted as he grabbed your hand, stopping you from putting one more hit on his shoulder. His teasing eyes smiled at your confused face as you tried to decipher one of his stupid sayings again.

“What? What do you mean?” You raised your voice not trying to release your hand from his grab anymore.

“Nothing you little dumb person. I’ll go ask her out now.” He positioned that last sentence between the imaginary quotation signs his fingers made, still leaving you in bewilderment.

“Do whatever you want. I don’t even care. Huh” you tried to look angry at least.

He chortled at his own trick he had played on you which was apparently funny but you failed to understand.

You were almost at the canteen door now. Holding on to the door-handle you smiled to yourself. Even through all this, he was the one who had once again made you grin. You exhaled a deep breath in preparation of the day ahead. A brief thought passed by as your life without Daehyun flashed in your mind. You shook your head trying to rid of the nightmarish thoughts that you had no time for.

Before you could push, someone pulled the door open from inside. Youngjae hung his head out through the opening and poked your forehead.

“Are you going to stand here forever?” he said in his sweet angelic voice. “I mean not like I have been staring at you for the past 15 minutes trying to make your way from there to here” he said pointing at the elevator and back to you.

“Oh? It’s been 15 minutes?” you replied.

“I’m just kidding silly. Come on in everyone is waiting it’s already 4pm, way past anyone’s lunch time.” He tugged on the cuff of your sleeve and you entered behind him.

The canteen was filled with other artists and staff seated in their own groups of fives or sixes. You looked around for familiar faces as your eyes met Daehyun’s gaze, following you from the entrance all the way to the table. The look that had always assured you of immeasurable love and safety now sent shivers of scare. You looked away to greet Yongguk and Himchan and waved to the others. Youngjae pulled out a chair for you to sit beside him, just opposite to the other vocal. You noticed that the new female addition to the equation was not present there.

 

“What do you want noona?” Zelo spoke as you took your seat.

“Anything is fine really.” You said not feeling hungry at all.

“Really, noona? Could you please remember that choice next time you order me around.” Jackson joked earning knock on the head from you.

Everyone laughed, except Daehyun.

“What if we order the prawn noodles for you? It’s really delicious” Youngjae pointed at the menu in front of you.

Daehyun let out a little cough as if to stop himself from saying something. You glanced at him before looking back at Youngjae.

“I am allergic to prawn. I’ll just have a chicken cheese sandwich.” You said smiling at the boy as a tint of guilt flashed on his face.

“Oh my god I am so sorry. I feel stupid now. I should have asked” he apologized with sadness in his eyes.

“Hey Jae, it’s absolutely fine. You didn’t know” you grinned at him again. You seemed to do that a lot when he was around.

“Can we order if everyone has decided?” Daehyun said looking rather annoyed. “Waiter” he called out to the nearest server and repeated everyone’s orders. “…and lastly a chicken cheese sandwich but don’t put in any cucumbers.” He immediately regretted saying the latter part of that sentence.

“You seem to know her taste really well, Daehyun.” Himchan and earning a glare from him.

“Yeah seems like it” he whispered under his breath as he eyed Youngjae, surprisingly.

The tension around the room was unbearable. You could swear even the people from the next table felt it as much as you did.

“So Areum, me and Himchan will leave early today after lunch and Jongup and Zelo have a schedule at the broadcast station next door. Mark called to send Jackson back but I thought maybe he could join them and observe them for the research material he needs.” Yongguk’s soothing voice had your full attention, breaking away from the otherwise tension in the crowd. “Meanwhile you can stay back with Daehyun and Youngjae and talk to them about their contributions and whatever else you need. Is that okay?” he finished with a raised eyebrow your way. This man was so intimidating in his own special aura that you felt the need to agree with whatever he was saying.

“Yes oppa.” You courteously replied.

“Do the two of you have any problems with it?” Yongguk looked at the two boys near you whole politely nodded, too scared to disagree with the leader.

The rest of the lunch hour passed by with laughs and giggles of the others as you tried to convince everyone that you were fine. Youngjae would occasionally nudge you to take another bite as it got more difficult to swallow the food. Daehyun on the other side was also playing with his food, twirling the noodles at the end of his fork. Your thoughts flew back to the times you two would have lunch alone at school, with no other company. He would gulp down his food in seconds waiting to lash on to yours. And you’d let him. After a fake pull and tug you’d feed him, making him the happiest person in the world. It somehow made you happier. But, unwillingly things took a turn.

“Hyung we will leave first. Let’s go Zelo, Jackson.” Jongup announced to the leader as soon as the trio was done with their food.

“Yeah, best of luck.” Yongguk said with a smile.

“Have a lot of fun guys!” Himchan cheered for his younger members.

“I hope you talk a lot Jonggie and help Zelo out too! Take care of Jackson as well” Youngjae bumped each of their fists with his own.

“I know you guys will be great” Daehyun said smiling at the boys.

He smiled. No matter what he’d never let his team mates down. You could bet your life on it. He carried a lot of pride in being someone Jongup and Zelo can look up to. It made you smile as well. Thinking about how well he had grown up, how he had become such a man all on his own. You had a fair deal of contribution in his life as well, you thought. Any girl would be lucky. Eujin was lucky.

You lifted your head ridding of all the thoughts that would otherwise follow. You hi-fived each of the boys as they passed by you towards the door, finally exiting the room.

“We’ll take our leave as well. The car will be back in a few hours to get you guys, so both of you drop Areum and then come straight to the dorm.” Yongguk explained to the two boys before grabbing Himchan and pulling him out the door after himself.

Silence fell again. This wasn’t exactly the group you wanted to be left alone with. The glaring had already begun as soon as the eldest ones had left the scene.

“Let’s go to the practice room Areum.” Daehyun suddenly jerked up from his chair surprising the two of you.

Your heart pumped faster once more. Why though? Putting aside the fact that he tore your existence apart, you should at least be angry at him for being so secretive. But, there you were unable to control your consciousness just at the way his lips pursed together while saying your name.

“I don’t think it’s yours only Daehyun.” Youngjae stood up to meet his gaze. “The interview I mean.”

The two men stood there thinking of sarcastic remarks to make at each other but you had a bad enough day anyway. You spoke up before it got worse.

“Can the both of you just go upstairs to the room, peacefully for once?” You addressed, almost scolding them. “I have had the worst day possible and I have no wish to be butting in between your bickering relationship. Go date somewhere else!”

Both of their jaws hung low almost separating from their cheekbones. They looked taken aback by your sudden outburst and honestly so were you. The frustration and disappointment of the entire day had taken its toll on you and you had to let off the steam. You rolled your palms into a fist, so as to not let out any more than needed.

“We are not dating! Eww. I would never date him.” Youngjae retorted squinting his face at Daehyun.

“I would never date him either and you know that very well Areum” the other boy pleaded.

A sea of anger had just taken over you at that moment. You dug your nails deeper into your fist as anger clearly flashed on your face in a shade of dark red. Every word fought its way out of your mouth as the adrenaline rose to your head.

“Oh I don’t know do I Dae? I don’t know who you date or who you want to date anymore. I don’t know what you like or who you want to hold in your arms. I don’t know who is perfect for you any longer. Maybe you can surprise me again?” you smiled in mockery as the rage in you left in small puffs from your nasal gap.

He looked shocked as he yanked his head your way, eyes almost popping out. You were always an ambivert but expressing fury wasn’t one of your more experienced qualities. He knew that though. More than anyone in this world he knew, and it showed on his face. You couldn’t wait to hear him speak because you were in no mood for his explanation. He did not seem like he’d be able to process any comeback either. Youngjae stood there in silence trying not to indulge in the drama in front of him.

“Now if you guys are done arguing can we move up” you said pointing at the door before dashing out.

The younger boy followed you out but Daehyun took his time. He had his gaze fixed on the ground for quite a while contemplating something in his own mind. You didn’t dare look back because just his mere image would make you break down again and you couldn’t afford that.

Youngjae entered the elevator holding the door ajar for you as you slid your body through, and stood beside him. Just as the two flaps were about to close, Daehyun’s hand slipped through over the sensor, stopping them. Just in time for him to glide through. The ride up was quiet to say the least as none of you met each other’s eyes and the tension built up to new heights.

Once in the room, you sat down on the rug that covered the entire floor. The two boys followed your silent orders as they both sat opposite to you next to each other.

You were in command now and it was intimidating. But, it helped to calm the storm that otherwise rose inside you, destroying you in minutes.