Xiumin wasn't the type of person to express ... He never knew how to stand for himself ..although he would always think about the answers he could have given to his bullies or the one who saw him little ...but he never did instead he changed himself ...

He showed them all that he was cold hearted ..careless ..selfish...troublemaker..brat ..but he was just opposite...

He hated himself ... Loathed ...
But at the same time he loved his friends who never acknowledged him... He treated them as his own family ... But never once he got his feelings returned ...

Still he was happy and content ... Just with his only best friend .... He wanted nothing more ... He never asked for anything else ... 

He wasn't lonely because he had his roommate + friend + best friend + buddy+ baby (yes all in one) with him who understands him a bit too much LUHAN his only best friend ...they were inseparable  ...

Xiumin rarely had to explain hinself to luhan he would know everything ... As he can see right through him ... Xiumin didn't need to tell him or speak much luhan would do that for both of them .. They usually enjoyed there personal time quietly ... Words weren't needed between them ...

It wasn't like they never fight ... Of course they did but as misnseok loved to say rather brag that    ""just wait until we go to bed then everything will get solved""   that's what exactly happens they would fight but neither of them can sleep without each other so they will end up huddled together tangled ... Then no apologies were needed ... They knew that one has said sorry by silently kissing his forhead and caressing scalp ..softly brushing fingers through his soft locks lulling him to sleep...while the other has said its okay by kissing the crook of neck and crushing himself onto the other ... It may seem gayish to others but for them it was all simple act of affection ... They adored each other ... 

When he lost his best friend Luhan his whole world shattered ... Crumbled and he felt hollow ... As if his soul was ripped apart ... He couldn't find himself to care anymore what his friends were saying or was he crying wailing in front of strangers .. No toughness was there to see ...

He was crying in pain .. Unbearable pain ... His heart was aching so badly ..no words can explain how he felt that moment.. He was shouting his name but the other never replied for he wasn't there ... 

Luhan told him to wait  for two months and then he would return to his best friend's side .. He was met with an accident and wasn't able to return right away ... Xiuimin was counting days for luhan to return ... He was planning how to spend his days with luhan .. How he will take care of the other ... He was thinking he won't let him walk too much as luhan injured his left leg... He was thinking maybe he can carry him to room piggy ride up to there ...for there room was on 4th floor .. He will take extra extra care of his best friend ... He will celebrate his birthday  ... He will spend all of his time with luhan because this was xiumin's  last year in university ... And luhan still had 3 years left to complete his course .. Whenever xiumin would talk about his departure luhan would get angry and try to not cry ... Xiumin would even more saying that ... ""I will leave this uni soon u will be left alone"" ... And to that luhan would hug him tightly and sob softly thr