"You always look beautiful." 

TWO 

Shopping with my mother had always been an experience. Her hands would be piled up with shirts, skirts, dresses, pants, that she thought I could wear but I knew I couldn't pull off. I would shake my head at the dress that would hug my body, no amount of Spanx could hide my stomach. The pencil skirt was a firm no also. I didn't like the way it sat on my hips. But no matter how many times I told my mother that all I wanted was some high-waisted dress pants and a blazer that didn't make me feel like a marshmallow, she would still go out and buy everything. 

I loved that my mother had taken the time to come up during her Friday off work, I really did. There was a need for new clothes, but I wasn't expecting for her to come so motivated to find me an entire wardrobe that made me look professional for the job interviews I had lined up during spring break so that I could get an internship over the summer. What I really wasn't expecting was to see her holding up this gorgeous cold-shoulder baby blue midi chiffon dress with ruffles cinched at the waist. The mannequin wore it beautifully, but the mannequin wasn't me. 

"No," I muttered, sliding my fingers across the hangers that held a multitude of cardigans that looked cozy and warm, everything I wanted from a cardigan honestly. 

My mother frowned, "You would look so cute in it, though. Put on a pair of Spanx, get some cute low wedge heels on, it would look so cute." I bit my tongue when I heard the word Spanx. I hated that I actually purchased those things, not because they were bad quality, I love them, but I hate that I'm 20 years-old and wearing something that women don't usually wear until they're older. "Would you please just humour me and try it on? I think you'll like it." 

I looked at her and she shook the dress with a wide grin on her face. My face remained emotionless and unamused at her antics, but still, I reached for the dress and placed it in my arms along with a few pairs of pants with varying even numbers. 

"Besides it's from the Marilyn Monroe collection, and you love her style." She said while meandering through the clearance section. 

She wasn't wrong. I loved how Marilyn Monroe dressed, but she also lived in a time where they considered her average not above average like me in 2017. And she probably wore corsets, I wasn't going to wear a corset. 

But Marilyn Monroe exuded the confidence I wished I possessed. 

"Yes, I do love her style, but fit and flare," I grumbled, grabbing a simple white button down to pair with my dress pants. Even with fit and flare, I wore Spanx so it didn't really matter. "I'm gonna go try this stuff on. I'll do the dress first so you can see it." Usually, my mom would wander and I would have to search for her in something I felt uncomfortable in so that she could just confirm my suspicions. 

The dressing room was my least favourite place in the store. You have to try on an abundance of the same pair of pants because every brand is different and that means you could be a different size in every brand. You have to stare at yourself when you look like you might have just rolled out of bed and that gave you this skewed view of what you would look in whatever you tried on. 

The dress fit. But it fit in that way that I knew I would never wear it unless I had something to in the gross outline of the bottom of my stomach that I could see through the dress. I didn't even look at myself from the side, it would only upset me more. With a defeated sigh I pushed open the door of the dressing room and stepping back into the main shopping area where my mother was waiting. 

Sehun was on the phone, maybe 20 or so feet from me, with his hair down and a brown coat on over a simple black button down and pants to match, the only pop of colour being the brown in his eyes and the pink of his lips. Damn those lips. 

I jumped when I felt my mother put her hands on my shoulder. "I like the dress but I definitely think you're gonna have to wear Spanx ... who are you looking at?" My eyes flashed back to my mother and watched her as her eyes followed my line of direction, falling into a small 'o' shape when she saw him. "Who's that? He's cute." 

What was I supposed to tell her? Oh, he's the boy I had with and then left at 2 in the morning. Now he just keeps popping up in my life with his heart of gold and stupid eyes. No, I couldn't say that. So I settled with a choked up, "Sehun." 

His ears must have been really healthy because the second he heard his name his eyes shot to mine, giving me a quick once over before shyly smiling in our relative direction. Damn it. I watched his lips move as he spoke into the phone and I frowned at the memory of how almost a week ago those lips were attached to my own, and every part of my body that he could get to. The thought of that sent goosebumps up and down my arms and an unsettled feeling in my stomach because I was thinking explicit thoughts while my mother stood right next to me and waited for me (or him) to make some kind of move to greet one another. 

"Go talk to him." My mother bumped my hip, but besides the small stumble in my step, I stayed put. 

"No." 

"Stop saying no, sometimes you gotta say yes Sora. He keeps looking over here." She urged me again with a small shove to my back but I didn't move. 

"Mom. I said no. I don't want to bother him." 

Then he conveniently said goodbye to whoever he was on the phone with and he conveniently smiled at my mother who had to grab my arm because she was hooked on his angled jaw and casual smile. "If you don't take him, I will." 

"You're married." 

My mother chuckled and before she could say anything Sehun was walking over to us with his hands in his pockets and a spring in his step. "Hi, Sora." 

My mother smacked my arm when she heard his deep rumble of a voice and I swear her mental age went down to a 19-year-old girl who fell to the ground for boys with a good face and easy smile. "Why haven't you told me anything about Sehun?" 

Sehun was watching us with an amused glint in his eyes, rocking back and forth on his heels as I shot my mother the deadliest look I could muster in my haze of absolute embarrassment. 

"I just met him recently Mom." Then I remembered I still hadn't introduced Sehun to my mother. I had to introduce Sehun to my mother. "Sehun, this is my mother." 

"It's lovely to meet you," Sehun said while bowing to my mother's five foot and two-inch height then flashed her a thousand-watt smile. That ing charmer, oh my god. "Sora, you look beautiful in that dress." He said after standing back up straight. "Brings out your eyes." And my stomach, but I figured he wouldn't say that around my mother, and I certainly wouldn't add that in front of my mother. 

Oh my god. My mother. I could picture her face in my head right now, jumpy and excited because she watched, probably, the most gorgeous boy she'd ever seen called her daughter beautiful and she definitely saw how my cheeks heated up. It was mostly out of disbelief honestly, the dress fit but I could still see where my stomach was perfectly outlined like the designer traced it that way. Needless to say, I didn't feel very beautiful. 

"You know Sehun, you couldn't be more right. Sora, this boy knows what he's talking about." 

I rolled my eyes when Sehun's smile took over his whole face. We hadn't seen each other since my almost breakdown in the library and I was hoping to not see him at all in the rest of my time at school and for the rest of my life. Yet, here we are, history was repeating itself. 

"So Sehun, since Sora hasn't said a word about you," she stared at me pointedly giving me the same look that she gave my father when he didn't mow the lawn, "what are you studying?" 

I already knew the answer to that. 

"I'm a law student actually. I'm graduating in May so I'll probably go back to the US." He told me how much he missed his family back in Chicago, but also how much he loved it here. He told me stories about his parents and his younger sister and I learned that I really liked the drawl of his voice, the articulation of his words, and the shapes of his lips formed when he spoke. He was hypnotising. 

Mom narrowed her eyes at me. "And you've just now met him? You've got such awful timing." 

I felt my mouth drop. "Mom, we're not together." 

Sehun, hopefully, could sense my discomfort and took a quick scan of the store. "Well, I'm staying over here after graduation, finding a job for the summer and then head to law school." 

I knew that too. 

"Sora, here, still has two years left. But she studied abroad in England last semester." My mother spoke on my behalf and when Sehun caught my eye he smiled knowingly. He knew I studied abroad. 

I told him about that when I accidentally said something in English with a slight British accent while he left a mark on my shoulder, he laughed against my bare shoulder and asked me to say more while straddling me with giggles erupting from his mouth. When I said fa-ah-ster he giggled to the point of not being able to kiss me anymore, resting his forehead against my own and pressing our lips together again in a long drawn out kiss before muttering the word tea and biscuits into my mouth before resuming the marks against my skin. That time it was my turn to giggle until his finger slipped across my underwear, and everything became a lot less funny. 

"Oh, did you?" Sehun asked, smirking at me acting as if he didn't already know. 

I raised my eyebrows. "Yes. But mom," I said, pulling at her arm,"I'm sure Sehun has got plenty to do." 

When I locked eyes with Sehun he must have seen something in my eyes because he frowned before looking down at his watch. "I actually do have a friend I'm meeting, he needs help finding a suit for a formal. But," he bowed again, "it was lovely to meet you." 

There was a change in my mother's body at that moment, she stood up straighter when Sehun's attention turned to me and she sped away from us, muttering something about seeing a pair of shoes she really liked. The air was different when he was around me. He gave me this comforting feeling in my stomach, but at the same time I was constantly preparing myself for the words that I always knew were coming, words of regret about Saturday and how sorry he was the same words hadn't just come out and said that on Tuesday. 

Sehun swallowed, his lips quickly before speaking. "You really do look beautiful in that dress. I think you should get it." He was a really good actor, but so was I so I nodded, biting my bottom lip and smoothing out the dress with my hands. "You don't look convinced." 

Okay, so I wasn't as good of an actor as I thought I was. 

I shrugged. 

"Sora," his voice was soft when he stepped closer to me, his fingers brushing across my arm softly before he returned his arm to his side. "You always look beautiful." 

I chuckled. "I didn't know if I'd find you funny when I was sober, but wow you're actually pretty funny." 

"Why do you think I'm joking?" His eyes found mine again and I was shocked when I saw the same expression he gave me when I told him that he'd been the first guy to come up and talk to me that night. Pure disbelief. 

Was I really about to do this? Was I really about to put on a brave face and admit to him something I didn't even admit to my mother? 

"Because of this," I said before I could regret it, pointing down at the defined mountain that appeared in the dress than the flat smooth dress it was meant to be. "This is