Mae, 10 Months Old

Fingers pushed the door closed, a mechanism within slid into a locking position with a soft click that meant only one thing. Home. Nichkhun let out a breathy sigh as he dropped his suitcase by the door, and tiredly let his feet out of his shoes. Even through his socks, he felt a wave of cool air rush over his long-smothered toes, and he hummed in appreciation at the feeling of relaxed freedom that again meant he had arrived home.

It was these small comforts he loved the most when he finally returned from his frequent travels around the world. Even with his jet-setter lifestyle, there was really nothing quite like the familiarity of the sensations within one’s own apartment. He often longed for the plumpness of his own pillow, or the soft texture of the blanket he smothered himself in whilst absorbing late night television, small infant snuggled in one arm, Wooyoung cuddled in his other.

He smiled at the thought of his husband. The memory of his strong arms, encasing him in a sweet embrace as they stared out at a shining full moon, red wine in hand, standing on the balcony they only ever really used in summer - a moment of solitude in what had become a hectic lifestyle of parenthood these past few months. He adored the warm feeling of fingers wrapped around his torso, caressing him lovingly as Wooyoung buried his head in the crook of his neck.

He would place his glass on the table beside them, and turn to face his husband with a knowing smile. Grabbing the collar of the shorter man, he would pull him flush against his own body, and forgetting that they were standing in plain view upon the balcony, he would finally get to taste his lips against his own, and deeply breathe in his favourite smell.

He frequently missed his scent too - trademark cologne, a brand he hadn't changed from in years. Only one thought came to mind with even the slightest whiff, even of a random individual passing on the street in some foreign country who just so happened to have an excellent taste in sweet scent.

Jang Wooyoung.

Now that was Nichkhun's true favourite moment in regards to returning home. Seeing his grinning expression, practically split from ear to ear in an eye-smile that could win awards, and sparkling pupils that could always reflect what mood he was in. The returning Thai man was never very good at reading people, but he never really had to try with Wooyoung, because his eyes always had a habit of giving away his every emotion; his every thought.

He always stood impatiently at the end of the hallway, their tiny daughter sleeping in his arms, just waiting. Waiting for Nichkhun to appear in that doorway after two, three, four weeks away, and drop his bags by the door, as he always did. And let out that characteristic sigh of relief as he took off his shoes, as he always did. It was routine then, not that Wooyoung minded, that he would approach his lover and Nichkhun would hug him with relief. Nichkhun knew how much Wooyoung hated missing him when he was forced to work away - in Japan or some other far flung land that felt nothing like home did, and he felt exactly the same way.

He would kiss him, start with a small peck, then something more desperate, until Wooyoung pulled back, chuckling as he nagged, “Careful, don't wake Mae. I just rocked her to sleep!” He would gently bounce the beautiful baby in his arms, whom Nichkhun would never get to see as much of as he wanted, at which point the man would scoop his daughter into his own embrace.

Nichkhun would coo at the baby, causing Wooyoung to coo adorably even more at the man he loved so much, and the Korean man would lean over, pecking his husband's cheek lightly before leading him further into their apartment.

Only today, there was no Jang Wooyoung waiting for him at the end of the hallway, and there was certainly no Mae in sight either. And there was most definitely an absence of Nichkhun's favourite scent too, within the room. The man furrowed his brow, listening to the radio silence that struck him as soon as he had closed the door. There was no laughter resonating off the blank walls, that so often encompassed their household, and no scolding Wooyoung to nag him about waking their daughter from her fleeting slumber.

Perhaps they've gone out shopping, Nichkhun thought to himself as he hung up his coat and stuck his head into the living room doorway. He peeked around the corner quickly and thought, He's not here either.

He shrugged, expecting that Wooyoung would return at some point throughout the day, having forgotten that his husband was returning home on that particular day. He had a habit of losing track of time, especially when he had their daughter in tow. It was a side effect of becoming a parent, he often found himself forgetting things when his mind was occupied by a million and one other concerns. Nichkhun smiled, a little disappointed at the lack of welcome, and plodded towards their bedroom.

He decided to have a nap, catch up on some sleep before Woo returned home, and as he creaked open the door he was faced by a sight that he really didn't expect to see. Jang Wooyoung was somberly slouched on the edge of their bed, head in his hands, staring harshly at the floor. He was dressed in only his pajamas, strange considering it was the middle of the afternoon, and it looked as if he had been through hell.

“Woo baby, what's the matter?” Nichkhun approached the other man, unsure of the reason why he appeared so miserable. His heart shattered when he finally saw the expression on Wooyoung's face, tears streaked down his cheeks, and he rushed to his side and pulled him into a tight hug. They sat for a long while, Wooyoung gripping the front of Nichkhun's cotton shirt as he simply let out his tears, loudly wailing into his lover's chest.

At last he seemed to quieten, as he raised his sorrowful eyes to stare into Nichkhun's own empathetic ones, “I feel so pathetic, Khun.”

Nichkhun gasped at this, shocked at his husband’s sudden confession, and he stuttered out a questioning, “W- -Why?”

“Mae didn't stop crying for nearly the whole two weeks you were away,” Wooyoung sniffed, clearly holding back more tears as his watery eyes threatened to spill over once more, “It didn't matter what I did, I couldn't get her to stop…”

He buried his head in the crook of Nichkhun's neck, flushed red face showing his embarrassment, “How can I be her father? She must hate me.”

“Woo! You did not just say that!” Nichkhun pulled the man's face away from him, suddenly irritated by the defeat evident in Wooyoung's wavering voice, “Even if neither of us are biologically related to her, Mae is still our daughter."

Wooyoung's face became even more crestfallen, and he watched as Woo's tears finally fell, and his hands automatically rose to his face to wipe his cheeks, desperate to make him feel better, somehow.

“Why can't I believe that?” He sobbed, the waterfall seemingly now uncontrollable, “I can't be a father to her.”

“Yes Wooyoung! Yes you can, because I'll help you.” He let a small smile appear on his lips as he attempted to coax one out of Wooyoung too, “You know who's gonna be there to teach her to walk and talk properly? You, babo!” He chuckled, tapping the man he loved on the tip of his thin nose to demonstrate his point.

“Do you remember when she said her first word?” He watched as Wooyoung nodded slowly, and let out a louder laugh, which caused Wooyoung to join in a little, although quieter, “She was staring right at you when she said it. Papa. If that doesn't qualify you enough to be a father, then I don't know what does.”

The Korean man finally smiled, feeling rather silly about his insecurities that now seemed so small now Nichkhun had helped him face them, “Thanks Khun, you're right.” He took the other man's hand into his own and interlaced their fingers as he looked up to kiss his plump, pink lips softly. Nichkhun reciprocated the kiss more playfully, pushing back as he placed his other hand on the nape of Wooyoung's neck. Both felt the other smile into the kiss, and allowed time for them to soak up the passion that they had missed out on since Nichkhun had been away.

Eventually they broke apart by the burning need to breathe, although their faces stayed in close enough proximity to quickly reconnect. Nichkhun broke the silence by whispering Wooyoung's name. Wooyoung opened his eyes, which had seemed to flutter shut without much notice, his interest peaked by the mention of the words that referred to him. Rather than speaking a reply, he simply hummed to show his husband that he was listening, and waited for the next thing he said.

“I love you.”

It was a simple enough statement, but one that had made Wooyoung's heart flutter. He didn't get to hear it nearly enough, since Nichkhun worked away so much, and when he was at home, usually Wooyoung was away instead. He smiled at his husband, and whispered back, "Say it again..."

Nichkhun chuckled, taking Wooyoung's shoulders into his hands so that the man was fully facing him, "I love you, Wooyoungie. I know I'm not around to say it much these days, but I really, really love you - and Mae. I love our little family so much. So much in fact that I'm going to make sure I'm at home more often. To hell with work, I want to enjoy spending time with my wonderful husband and beautiful daughter!"

Once he had heard this revelation from Nichkhun, his stomach seemed to somersault - or fill with butterflies - and he didn't even need to think twice about his response, “Khun, you're amazing!” He cried happily, throwing his arms around his husband's neck, knocking him over so he lay underneath him on the bed.

He smiled once again, that happy eye smile that meant the world to Nichkhun, and leaned down to press his lips again to the ones underneath him. He pushed the force of all his love into that one kiss, and clearly Nichkhun knew because he kissed back with an equally fiery passion in his actions. As they parted, Nichkhun rolled so that the man he loved so much lay beneath him now. He stared down at Wooyoung beneath him with so much affection that it was almost overwhelming for the both of them, and brushed his fringe from his eyes.

"And you're so beautiful, and handsome, and kind - and totally all mine now," he chuckled, kissing him once again, carefully, slowly, taking his time to appreciate everything about the man he had missed for so long.