a/n: i wasn't going to upload this for another week but someone told me that it was cute and that made me happy so i'm uploading it now ^_^

this is for you, Araksik :3

     He hesitated. 

     Youngjae hesitated. 

     "...I see...I liked you too" 

     Daehyun thought he was a fool to only have realised it now. The pause between his confession and Youngjae's was too long. Was Youngjae lying? Did he only say that to make the rejection less painful? Was he disgusted that Daehyun liked him?

     The thoughts suffocated Daehyun as he rolled onto his side, staring into the darkness of his bedroom. He hated it suddenly; he felt as though the darkness was consuming him. He felt as though it was surrounding him, running through his bloodstream, possessing him until he was nothing but a walking shadow of doubt and sorrow. The image of Youngjae's cold eyes plagued his mind and he was left with yet another sleepless night because of that one boy he held so dearly in his heart. 

-

     "Jongup, where are you eating lunch?" Daehyun heard Sumin's cheery voice across the classroom, the sound of feet shuffling rebounding off the walls as students filed out of the room. He gave her a smile and told her that he was eating outside with his friends from another class. Daehyun heard Euijin scoff and mutter her annoyance over the way Jongup had, according to her, raised his voice in an attempt to sound cuter to girls just because he wanted to manipulate them. 

     It was far too cold outside, Daehyun noted as he glanced to the window. Particularly to the window behind the seat Youngjae had sat in moments earlier. He wanted to eat with Youngjae, but the younger had escaped the room too quickly. Besides, he wasn't even sure that he could muster up the courage to ask. 

     The class representative walked up to Daehyun with a small pile of papers and handed them over, the latter taking them as he silently asked with his eyes what they were for. "Daehyun, can you please take these to the staff room?" He nodded and the rep left, Sangil and Euijin immediately looking away and hoping Daehyun wouldn't ask them to come along. He didn't and instead left them be, abandoning his half eaten lunch as he left the classroom. 

     It really was too cold outside. He shivered as he felt the breeze against his cheeks. He began to walk across to the other school building when a boy sitting alone at one of the outside benches caught his attention. He stared momentarily before waltzing up to Jongup, briefly wondering where his so called friends were. 

     "It's so cold." Daehyun said, his trembling fingers serving as evidence to his statement. "You really should eat inside"

     "I'm fine." He replied sweetly, smile ever present upon his face. But Daehyun didn't miss the look of surprise in Jongup's eyes.

     "Liar. I see you shivering" Daehyun wished he had put on his blazer before leaving the classroom. "It's really cold out here. "

     He heard a gentle laughter leave Jongup's mouth, and he wondered briefly if it was just natural cuteness. It didn't seem to be an act, like Euijin claimed it was. As he thought this, the bracelets the younger boy wore caught his eye and he simpered at the memory it brought back to him. The image of someone tying a very similar trinket around his wrist four years ago flickered into his mind briefly. It faded quickly when he saw Jongup slipping one of the woven bracelets off. The shorter boy smiled. "Um...you can have this if you want. I don't really need two of them." 

     Slowly and hesitantly, without thinking for too long, Daehyun took the bracelet into his own hands, noticing that Jongup's hands felt like ice when they briefly touched. He placed the stack of papers on the table and patted down his pockets, searching for the hand warmer he had taken to school. He inwardly cursed at himself when he realised he had left it in his school bag. He was about to warn Jongup to eat inside again, but the younger spoke first. 

     "Thanks for talking to me." The smile he wore faltered slightly and he wrung his hands together. "I didn't think you'd ever talk to me. I know your friends hate me." There was a silence that Daehyun was unsure of how to fill. "No one really talks to me."

     Daehyun paused, fingers curling around the bracelet. He wasn't blind; he knew just how well Jongup was avoided and teased. Yet he did nothing to stop it, and for that he felt ashamed. Especially when he saw the melancholy so easily etched into Jongup's eyes. Trying to give the boy some positivity he offered a shy murmur, "Girls talk to you."

     "Mm but I don't really care about girls." He shook his head and there was a long pause, followed by awkward eye contact. Daehyun eventually tore his gaze away, admiring the bracelet in his hand. A thin, bleak wind fluttered by and a few of the papers were taken with it. Daehyun rushed to pick them up, and Jongup continued to speak. "...sometimes I wish I did. It would be easier, you know?"

     The elder stared for a moment, shuffling the papers in his hands before taking the entire stack into his arms once more. "I know." Daehyun nodded. "It's hard being different from everyone else. And it's hard pretending you're someone you're not. There's no easy situation." He wasn't sure what prompted him to say it. Perhaps simply keeping the thought locked away for so long gave him the sudden urge to speak his mind the moment he found someone who was like him.

      Daehyun gave a friendly smile. "You should really eat inside. It's cold" 

     "Thank you but...I'm fine." 

     "Stay warm." He began pacing away, but looked over his shoulder and called out, "thank you for the bracelet!"

-

     "...your friendships are weak"

     Youngjae's words flitted through his mind as he sat at his desk once more, asking Sangil and Euijin what they had been talking about. Even if they were friends in name only, Daehyun believed it was better than being alone. 

     The conversation flowed easily, laughter here and there as the three enjoyed their lunch break. That was, until Euijin noticed the bracelet on Daehyun's wrist. 

     "Oh?" She grabbed onto Daehyun's wrist, lifting it to see the item better. "Where did you get this?" 

      "This? Uh...I was talking to Jongup and he gave it to me just now."

      "Huh?" Sangil laughed, a little too loudly for Daehyun's liking. "What were you doing talking to him?" 

      "He was eating alone... He looked cold and I-" He paused briefly, noticing that students had slowly begun to file back into the classroom. The lunch break must be ending shortly. "...I just wanted to tell him he should eat inside."

      Sangil laughed again. "Why should you care if he's cold? Wouldn't it be better if just gets pneumonia and dies or something?"

      Daehyun pictured Jongup's kind grin and the words "Thanks for talking to me". His fingers curled into fists. 

     "Would you really want that?" He questioned, Sangil's slight giggles ceasing completely at the challenging tone in Daehyun's voice. He gave a look of askance, so Daehyun continued. "Would you really want him to die? To be gone from the world? To have his family mourn for him? All because he's different from you?" He looked up at the two boys in front of him, noticing that the eyes of other students in the room were on him as well. He wasn't really surprised; he had spoken loudly. "There's no reason for you to treat him the way that you do. He isn't an abomination just because he's different from you." He paused, briefly looking towards the sound of a chair scraping against the floor near the window. "Instead of being rude, instead of saying that he should die, why don't you try acting like him? Why don't you try accepting him? Why don't you try not being awful people?"

      "Huh? We don't actually- It isn't even about that. I just hate people like him" 

      "Then you could just leave him alone!" Another raise of his voice had every student's attention on Daehyun. "You could ignore his existence instead! And keep your words to your damn selves!." He looked over in Jongup's direction, the shorter boy staring in wonder at the scene before him. Again, he thought of the kind smile, and he continued. "Insulting someone may make you feel better about yourselves but you're wrong. You think he's disgusting, but you're the disgusting ones" 

     "Daehyun, why are you being like this?" Euijin questioned, her face turning red from the stares of the other students. "We're your friends. You shouldn't be saying these things to us." There was a pause. "Why are you getting so defensive about someone you don't even like?"

      Daehyun stood up. "Why? Because I'm gay too. And I am so ing sick of the way you talk about people like me. Jongup and I have done nothing wrong. But just because we like boys you think we're an abomination." 

      The two stared at him incredulously, not speaking as they searched for words. Eventually, Sangil and Eujin stood up, the former muttering the words 'ing fags' before the two stormed out of the classroom. The onlookers erupted into conversations, many sending glances Daehyun's way. What had he done? He admitted what he was...he'd ruined his high school life too.

     But it was worth it, wasn't it. He looked at Jongup, who mouthed the words 'thank you' to him and flashed him a bright smile. 

- 

     The sky was a dull grey as he walked home, a cluster of clouds above threatening to spill rain. Daehyun held his hands to his mouth, breathing against them to rid himself of the icy feeling. It didn't help all that much and he scolded himself for not bringing a scarf to school. It shouldn't be this cold in the middle of spring... He sighed heavily, wondering if the weather was cruelly mocking him by replicating how he felt inside.

     He didn't hesitate to walk to his favourite convenience store the moment he saw it across the street, the thought of purchasing a hot steamed bun so very enticing as he crossed the road. When he walked inside, however, the thought vanished from his mind when he saw Youngjae walking around at a slow pace. Daehyun went towards him without thinking, freezing in place when the younger turned around and they made eye contact. 

     "Hi." Youngjae murmured dully, attention going to the products in front of him. He walked a little further in the other direction and Daehyun mumbled a greeting back. He asked what Youngjae was here for and the younger scoffed. "I'm hungry" He said simply, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Daehyun supposed it could be, and pinched himself for asking a stupid question. 

     "I was surprised earlier." Youngjae picked up a few packets of ramen, holding them against his chest. "You did the right thing, standing up against those 'friends' of yours."

     Daehyun laughed nervously and scratched his scalp for a moment. "Uh...yeah...I don't really know what to do now. I don't think I have any friends now" He would be genuinely surprised if Sangil and Euijin wanted to maintain the friendship after that; he certainly didn't want to. He pocketed his hands, a sudden wave of nerves rushing through his blood stream. He didn't want to be alone. 

     Youngjae paused, glancing over at Daehyun with a cold look in his eyes that the elder couldn't decipher. They stared at each other for a few silent moments until Youngjae turned back around. "You'll make new ones."

     Youngjae dumped the ramen packets back where he had taken them from and promptly left the store, leaving Daehyun staring at the space he had occupied only moments before hand.