I Said Only the Once
Follow That Red Thread HomeJeonghan hummed as he cooked. He ignored the way Chan's eyes bore into him from the couch. "I was let go with a clean bill of health," he drawled, giving the stir fry a quick stir. "The doctor said nothing was wrong at all and if I managed to feel any pain whatsoever to take one of the pills."
Chan snorted. "Doesn't mean I can't look at you. You're my hyung. I can stare all I want."
Jeonghan cooed. "Awww, Channie. I knew you loved me."
"Yah," he said dryly. "Don't take my concern and turn it into teasing."
Shutting off the stove, Jeonghan plated their dinner. "I'm fine you know. X-rays came back clear, nothing wrong. Nada. Zip. Zilch."
"But how does a person get hit by a car and then be fine," Chan grumbled. "It's weird."
"The doctor says it can happen. And that it was likely due to the way I hit the car," Jeonghan explained for the upteenth time. "Listen. I get the concern, but it's getting old. I'm good to go kid. Now come and eat before I put it all in my stomach and leave you to go hungry."
"I'm going to tell auntie that you threatened that," he said, getting up.
"Sure, you will," Jeonghan shot back, "it'll make you look like a kid and everyone knows how much you hate doing that."
Chan stuck his tongue out, taking a seat at the table. "Wait until you get that call from auntie."
Jeonghan snorted, seating himself across from Chan. "I'll wait. Until I'm dead and I still wouldn't get that call."
Chan said nothing, choosing to stuff his mouth.
Jeonghan let his mind wander. He knew that Joshua visited him. The number in his phone told him so. He hadn't been able to get it from anyone he knew. And the timing of when it showed up coincided with his stint in the hospital.
So why did the visitor records not show that Joshua had come to visit him. Did he bypass the nurses that easily? Was there not a single nurse to make him stop?
He shook his head, picking up his chopsticks. It didn't matter. Jeonghan had a number now. And he had already texted Joshua too. All he had to do now was wait for a reply. That was the hardest part.
Joshua stared down at the text notification. He hesitated. He feared what it contained, because there was no doubt on who it came from. Just like the mysterious feeling that always tugged him Jeonghan lifetime after lifetime, something just set off alarms in Joshua's head that was from him. He just didn't want anything to do with Jeonghan anymore.
It was hard to not associate his former lover with anything but pain. And here he was purposely putting himself back into contact with the person he had tried so hard to run from. Fate had it out for him. He was sure of it.
God. No. He could do this. Sitting up straight, he steeled himself. It was just a text. Maybe Jeonghan didn't want anything from him at all.
Tapping on the messages, he opened it.
'Hey. Thanks for visiting me in the hospital. And I know you're not exactly excited to be in debt with me. But give me a chance. I beg of you. Just one night and if I can't charm you then I'll leave you alone. I swear.'
Eyes closing, Joshua felt his heart thud harder than normal. If he tried, no he was just lying to himself; he could hear it. He could hear the text, like Jeonghan was speaking it out loud, in front of him. It was like all those times from before, when Joshua tired of being burnt tried to stay away. And Jeonghan, charming, flirty Jeonghan came up to him begging just for one chance.
Like the one lifetime Joshua had been a prince and Jeonghan the ambassador from a neighboring country.
Jeonghan kneeled. “Won’t give you me the one chance my beloved prince?” He gazed up at Joshua, eyes alit with something that scared Joshua.
Not in the way that meant him bodily harm, but with a devotion that Joshua was sure would one day hurt him.
“I’m not your prince,” he retorted, moving to walk away from him. Ambassador or not, Joshua was a prince and he didn’t have to listen to his demands.
“No, but you’re the keeper of my heart.”
Joshua stopped. He whirled around, snorting at Jeonghan. “Pretty words will get you no where Ambassador Yoon. Especially in negotiations. The more you try to play me the worse it will be for your country.”
“I wouldn’t play around with the matters of the heart your highness.” Jeonghan looked at him fiercely. “I swear it on my father’s grave.”
Well, well. Everyone knew what high regards Ambassador Yoon had for his father. To swear it on his freshly dug grave. “And if at the end of this chance nothing comes to fruition?”
“I will let you go.”
“You have until the Mid-Autumn Festival,” Joshua said with a toss of his head. He walked away.
Jeonghan had succeeded to Joshua’s shame in that lifetime. He charmed Joshua and made him fall in love. He studied well, making sure to use the courting methods of Joshua’s country.
He had laid claim to Joshua and Joshua had let him. They married and prospered. One of few lifetimes.
Some lifetimes Joshua said no and walked away from him. Other lifetimes Joshua had said yes, in love as he ever was from the first time eons ago.
In the lifetimes that he said no, Fate worked its magic and Joshua and Jeonghan always met. Joshua would fight, and run away like a coward, hoping to save his heart just the once. But he never won. Every lifetime he had lost. He gave his heart to Jeonghan, fell in love with his persistent but cute ways and felt his heart torn in two at one point.
Granted there were lifetimes where Joshua fell in love and everything was rosy. Lifetimes where they were happy and stayed happy. Lifetimes where they were together until the end and one of them perished first.
And here he was again. Right in front of Jeonghan's path and he had given Jeonghan the means to come to him. How stupid.
"Just the once," he whispered. "It's only one dinner." It would be fine.
His hands shook as he texted Jeonghan back. It was only going to happen once. One dinner and no more contact with Yoon Jeonghan. He could do this. He could. No matter how much his heart was calling him a liar.
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