"So I was wondering since we've been seeing each other for a while that we should start dating... I really like you. So what do you think?"

Me and Krystal met up about 10 minutes again in the SM building. I didn't even go with my crutches today because I think I am fine to walk and it's really frustrating using crutches. 
It was also the last week of Lotto promotions so all the members were performing today and then in a week an a half its our concert. 

Krystal hadn't answered me but was smiling like she was expecting me to say something else so I repeated myself. 
"I think that we should date..." I said looking at her seriously. 

He face softened now "Jongin...really? I do like you but I don't know I'm ready for a relationship like that with you. Sorry I seriously didn't know your feelings for me were that serious."

Wait I'm really getting rejected?

"So is that a no then?"
"I guess so. We can still be friends and you never know, maybe we can date in the future," she gave me a tight lipped smile. 

Before I could say anything Amber ran in, we both turned to look at her. 

"Sorry, Krystal can I borrow you for a few minutes?" 
"1 minute," she called back and amber disappeared again. 
Then she turned back to me "I'm sorry Jon-"
"It's fine, really. I'm going to go anyway," I said quietly getting up. 

"I'll see you sometime again?"

I nodded my head in reply "bye."

This . I just wanted to dance my feelings away but my ankle has only just healed so I don't want to risk it. So I went back to the dorm and put a movie on but soon I drifted to sleep. 

I shot up after someone playfully hit my leg. 
"Jongin get up, we're eating out today," I open my eyes to see Chanyeol standing above me smiling. 
I didn't want to face Sehun just yet though. 
"I'm too tired~" I complained. 

"That can't be used as an excuse anymore, we always do schedules when we're tired."I still didn't budge until I felt water above and looked up to see Jongdae and Chanyeol. 

"Finnnee,"I groaned and went to my room to change in to wet clothes where Kyungsoo was already changing. 

"Hey Kyungsoo. "
I received no answer so tried again 

"Kyungie what's wrong?" I asked trying to be cute so he turned to me with a serious face. 

"I know about you a Sehun," he blankly said. I took me a while to know what he was talking about but I tried to act like I didn't know what he was on about, even though I hoped we wasn't thinking about the same thing. 

"What about me and Sehun?" He then rolled his eyes. 

"You know what I'm talking about unless you want me tell you," he spoke whilst crossing his arms. To be honest I rather not have him say the situation out loud of how much of it he knows anyway, so I gave in. 

"Ok fine, who told you?"
Wait I wanted to know how much he did know about this. 
"And now much do you even know?"

"I know that you like him... And he likes you and maybe I heard when I walked past his room. You too weren't quiet you know, I could even hear you two kiss just by standing on the other side of the door."

"That's exactly why I said it couldn't work, look how easy it was for you to find out and now him and Baekhyun are all over each other. A sesaeng fan will probably expose them." I raised my voice maybe saying too much. 

"What?? You're not together? I was wondering why Baekhyun was still flirting with Sehun and now Sehun is actually flirting back."I felt hurt after the last part. 

"How do you not know after you listened to us?" I asked confused. 

"I had better things to do than stand next the door listening to a conversation even though it was pretty interesting. Anyway I left after I heard you said you liked him after you kissed. That's why I asked later what was wrong but you didn't want to tell me... What happened after that?"
I let out a sigh and put my head down. 

"I couldn't do it. We are idols in the same group. I couldn't risk it and anything unexpected could happen. So I rejected him and 5 minutes later I see him making out with Baekhyun after he said he would wait for me."

"You could of kept the secret between the group, we've been so close these past few year but now all of this coming out I feel more distant than ever. Also he probably didn't wait for you because you basically told him that you are never going to be with him because your career is more important."

"But-"

"Are you guys ready? Everyone's waiting," Minseok barged into the room. I looked down at my still wet clothes. 
"Give me another minute," I said smiling. Minseok left with a huff. 

"We can carry this conversation later, hmm?" I nodded in reply and smiled as he left the room. I actually felt good talking to someone about this. But now I just have these feelings for Sehun and I don't know what to do with them since I don't know how he's going to act around me. 

Well I thought about and I still wanted to talk to him and I knew for sure that I didn't want to him to fall for Baekhyun. But why? I want him to be happy which I can't make him because I'm not ready to put my career on the line.But I still...want him but I can't. 
I need more time to know what I want because it's really stressing me out. Him or my career? Maybe I could have both?

I quickly dressed realising that everyone was waiting for me and putt of ripped jeans a button up shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror hmm making him not fall completely for Baekhyun won't hurt right? I ed the two top buttons so my chest was exposed and smirked. 

"Finally you're out! Let's go!" Suho called out. 

"Wait, why is you buttons done so low," Baekhyun noticed which made everyone turn. I looked to see Sehun's reaction but he didn't show any expression and was the first turn away. 

"Fashion," i simply replied everyone was already disinterested anyway but I saw Kyungsoo look quickly between me and Sehun. 
We made our way to our car/van thing. I noticed that Sehun slipped his hands in Baekhyun's. 

Ok he wants to play this game so I put my arm around Kyungsoo and brought him close. I felt a bit bad using him like this but it was a friendly gesture and Sehun was basically using Baekhyun to get over me. 

When we got their it was surprisingly empty which meant their probably wouldn't be any fans here. We sat on a long rectangle table Yixing first then Junmyeon, Sehun, Baekhyun, Jongdae, Minseok, Chanyeol, Jongin and Kyungsoo. 

At first we was talking as a whole table but later we started to talking in different small sections so I was mostly talking to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. I actually started feeling good again and it actually had been long since we hung out like this.

But of course Sehun and Baekhyun began flirting again and what was worse was that they was right in front of me. I tried talking to Kyungsoo but I couldn't take it and excused myself to the bathroom. 

I didn't really need to go the toilet but really needed to get away from that scene. I sighed while splashing water onto my face. 'Wake up. Your Kim Jongin. Focus on your career'. I stared at myself in the mirror and figured ill just have to get over him. 

Suddenly the bathroom door swung open which made me swing my head since no one else was in here and in came Sehun. 

"Hey," said whispered walking up to me. 

"What do you want Sehun? It's obvious that you're not here to use the toilet."

"I want you."
Wait what?
"W-what di-"
I was cut off by his kiss. It felt desperate and passionate and he slowly pushed me into the cubicle whilst still kissing me. 

I couldn't help myself and kissed him back and felt his arms slowly rest on my shoulder. He just spoiled all my plans. I broke the kiss. 

"Sehun, your with Baekhyun you can't do thi-"

"Shh," he put his finger on my lip to shush me and continued kissing me. Then I just realised that we'd been doing this for a few minutes. 

"We. Should. Go. Back," I said in between kisses. 
"I. Don't. Want to," he also said between kisses. 

"Sehun, I said I couldn't do this."

"But you're doing it right now this what I meant, no one will suspect us," he said biting his lip and leaning in for another kiss which I dodged. 

"We've been in here for nearly 10 minutes so I'm sure the members will be questioning things, you're dating Baekhyun and I won't be the one to make you cheat on him. Also I decided to get over you. There's no point letting you wait for me when you already have Baekhyun, especially when I might not even accept this idea," I argued back and left the cubicle and stood at the door of the bathroom. 

"I'm leaving now and you are going to leave 30 seconds later, ok?" 

"You want to do this, you're just scared-"
I didn't even let him finish before I left the bathroom and sat back down to see the members with already cooked food and cooking more food at the table. 

"Did you and Sehun have a bad stomach or something?" Jongdae joked which earned some laughs. I just kept silent and got back in seat hoping no one would notice anything but it seemed like everyone was just enjoying the food. 

I was happy Sehun listened to me and waited 30 seconds to come out after me but it'd been about 3 minutes now. 

He finally came out with slightly red eyes, I could tell he had been crying and it made my heart brake. Baekhyun must of noticed and tried subtly comforting him. I didn't want it to end like this. 

Kyungsoo's POV
When Jongin put his arm around me before me came to the restaurant, I got quite happy until I saw him staring at Sehun and knew he was trying to make him jealous. 

Again at the restaurant they both were gone in the toilets for ages and of course Jongin comes back with messy hair and slightly swollen lips. Makes me think of one thing. I bet he thought no one would notice and they probably didn't because no one care. But I do because I care. 

Why can't he see that I like him too. 

A/N sorry this chapter took so long I had exams this week and have two next week but will still try to update a lot. And yeah I'm calling all the characters by their real names now. 
I don't know why I made this love triangle/rectangle thing 😭