(Seulgi)

When I think of you, I think of clashing cars and exploding buildings, because that is how I feel when I look into your eyes. My heart shakes, trembles and explodes and I wonder if you notice how my breath hitches everytime you take a closer look to my homework. I keep my notes neat, clean and colourful because I don't want to be seen as dull by you, even though I know that you will never see me in that light. 

When I think of you, I think of destruction and all the horrible things that should happen so I will stop thinking of you. I make monsters in my own dreams to turn it into nightmares and craft all possibilities and universes that even in our next life, we will be sworn enemies and never see each other ever again.

The thought that we are possible almost make me insane, because it would be against the world and I already have my share of pain that the world has caused me. Sometimes, I catch you looking at me and I sense that spark that is about to bloom until I turn my eyes away. To love you is to destroy myself and I realized long time ago that there is no beauty in destruction, especially when the remaining shards will fly away to hurt my loved ones, including you. 

Sometimes, I close my eyes and lucid, dangerous images begin to hurl at me, images where we are together and reckless, abandoning all the restrictions that leash us from falling into each other. In that dream, I feel happy and not feel sinful of what we have. At that moment, I force myself to wake up and draw the worst images where you and I are torn away from each other by force.

It is all because of that moment, that place where we met. You were not wearing your tie and I was not wearing my checkered skirt. It was too beautiful of a place to not fall in love, and you happened to be the only person who were able to make me feel that way.

"Can I get a bucket of Chrysanthemums?"

I almost closed the flower shop, but somehow you became the last customer.

You watched as I arranged the flowers and handed it to you. 

"Can I get a bucket of white lily also?" After I handed the yellow Chrysanthemums to you with fingers brushing and my heart swelling for a little, I went back to do my routine.

After you paid for both flowers, you handed back the Chrysanthemums. 

"What-"

"Do you know, Miss, that you remind me of white lilies? And do you know the meaning of Chrysanthemums?"

I shook my head with the flowers I arranged in my own hand. 

"Well, you should. Have a beautiful day, Ms. Lily."

When I found out the meaning of it, I couldn't stop thinking about you.

It didn't use to be me thinking about the deformities when I think of you. I used to think about eternal love between gods and goddesses, love across alternate universes and that red string of fate. I used to long for another chance so that we can meet, and if we belong to each other, then we shall happen. 

But the second time I met you, I was behind the desk wearing the uniform that reminds me of the place I dread the most. You were standing behind the desk that spoke of authority, with your ironed pants and shirts worn, as a polite and bright smile crowned your lips.

Both of our faces fell as our eyes locked. Yours were the most visible because the whole class could see you.

"What's wrong, Mr. Jeon?"

You diverted your eyes away. "It's just that...Ms.Kim reminds me of someone. Someone I have met."

"Well,