“Why do people choose to fall not to be in love?”

It’s almost midnight and Sehun couldn’t sleep just yet because his eyes just didn’t want to cooperate with him. His body was already exhausted today; from helping his mother to move things here and there, spreading rice cakes to their new neighbors, meeting new people – including that one eccentric girl and her infectious smile, and also adjusting to his new life in Seoul – which he needed more time since everything was just very different from States.

It’s barely a day moved to Seoul but Sehun already missed everything in his hometown; easy access for things he wanted since he was allowed to drive since sixteen on his own private car by his father, big mansion means larger bedroom with that comfortable bed and his stuffs, friends that cheered him up always, dance classes every Tuesday afternoon, the good people, the crowd downtown, and the language was the most matter thing.

But Sehun had dignity, just like his mother. That was why when his mother filed for divorce on his father with a reason of irreconcilable differences – just so you know his father cheated on his mother and made that mistress pregnant – he refused his father’s offer to continue living with him. He was the person that made sure his mother was sober enough to move out and think about better options than staying in a mansion with a monster in their house.

Moving to Seoul was out of options that Sehun has offered to her. His options were; (1) move to another state in America that didn’t have too expensive life costs, (2) he would find a job to help his mother as they rent a flat around, (3) drop out of his expensive art school and attend public school so his mother could use the bills for something else. Sehun definitely didn’t offer option (4) move back to Sehun’s grandparents’ home in Seoul so his mom would work as a teacher in his school.

But Sehun didn’t want to cry over spoiled milk, as he also didn’t want to make his mother felt worse upon herself. She already had so many burdens and stresses, so he didn’t need to add more but instead helped out by taking the burdens off her shoulders and bear them if he could. Sehun knew starting from the beginning was hard, but that was not impossible. And Sehun was willing to try.

Sehun snapped out of his reverie when the door slowly creaked open and he found a pair of tired eyes created mere slits as the owner broke into small, sleepy smile. Sehun stood up and welcomed the guest with a smile back too, and pulled her into a hug. “What is it Mom?” Sehun wondered kindly.

“I was thirsty and I saw the lights are on, so I thought my son might be awake. And I was, am right. My handsome son is still awake.” His mom smelled his sleeping pajama and Sehun chuckled. “Are you feeling uncomfortable here?”

He quickly shook his head. “No way Mom, I really like it here. It’s just that today is my first day here and I’m still trying to find chemistry with this room so I could get comfy with it…,” Sehun laughed when his mom giggled. He liked it, it meant she was happy. For now, nothing compared more than her happiness.

“I’m sorry for asking you to come with me.” Sehun’s mom said in a small voice. “I’m sorry for making you suffer Hun. I’m sorry for thinking I could take care of you by my own.”

Sehun hugged his mother tighter, as he again started to feel his shirt started to soak with her tears. Sehun sighed and chose not to retort anything because he was afraid, afraid that his reply would only hurt her more – because how could someone that was in love do something cruel as this?

The beat was still on and only crazy person would stay awake until midnight dancing in a practice room, where the lights were off and literally silent with no one around the place.

But Son Naeun thought differently; she thought it was the only way to reach her dream. She was desperate, very, that she started to do such depressing things just like this for example. She didn’t come this far, trained for almost seven years for nothing. She didn’t come to fail and give up like some of other friends because they couldn’t stand the evil competition. She won the judges’ votes seven years ago, fair and square, because of her charms, so she had to make sure her efforts wouldn’t betray her.

For her, the only thing that tended to betray and couldn’t be calculated is love. Naeun might have the tiniest body among other female trainees, became the role model when it came about her small waist or acting skills or maybe point nose and long, slick hair. Naeun might think everything would always go as she pleased, but love always betrayed her, always. In her case, her relationship always failed because she loved the person too much. She wasn’t in a very good term with her father because of his fatherly love that thinking there was no future for a trainee like her. She was hated by many because they just loved to do so. Love, for Naeun is a true nemesis.

“OH.” Naeun wasn’t being careful so she accidentally slipped over his own shoes and fell on the ground. She internally cursed and whined in pain. Naeun hissed silently as she now properly sat on the ground and touched the painful side, on her ankle and also her knee. “Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.”

She nibbled her lower lip as he flashed her ankle and knee that started to bruise because of her endless dance moves, she was trying too hard. But she knew too well that she needed to debut this year because of the prestige, since Son Naeun was always called as Son Goddess wherever she was, considered so highly by everyone. So she had to debut, or else she would think that not only love betrayed her but also her efforts.

Naeun went to take her bottle and finished the water in one go. She was still exhausted, and then checked the time on her phone as she realized it’s already midnight. Naeun clicked her tongue and leaned her back against the cold wall as she looked emptily around the dark, silent practice room that smells her sweats, with a little realization and also a question – is it because she loves the idea to be a famous idol so she is willing to injure herself?

“OH MY GOD, JUNG JOONYOUNG! I’M SO GOING TO KILL YOU!”

Joonyoung, the first Jung in family, just burst into soft chuckles in satisfaction as the younger brothers, Jinwoon and Minki, turned their heads on him with a questioning gaze.

“It’s still early morning people, seriously.” Jinwoon commented as he sipped his morning tea. He still got his bed-hair and crumpled sleeveless tee, so did Joonyoung with his short sleeve tee and Minki with his panda pajamas.

Minki sighed, “What are you doing to that poor kid hyung?” he wondered as he chewed his toast. He couldn’t help but feeling a little bit curious but also wanting to laugh since Joonyoung-Eunji’s fights were always everyone’s favorite. Everyone in the neighborhood already accustomed to their fights somehow.

“Just a little teasing you know, it’s good for her health.” Joonyoung giggled and stole another toast from the plate, but the satisfied grin hasn’t washed away. It seemed like he was amused to his prank this morning.

Jinwoon just shook his head, as he sipped his tea. Everyone sensed somebody descended the stairs overwhelmingly hurry that anyone could tell it was Eunji with fury. As if they were ready, three of Jung siblings turned their body at the staircase as they waited on what to come.

“YAH JUNG JOONYOUNG!”

And they burst into loud, deafening laughs – even Jinwoon that always well-known for being in his sister’s side no matter what. Eunji was definitely offended by it as she glared at his one brother that now muffled his laughs as he looked away and stifled it with a fist, he still giggled though.

Standing in front of them was Jung Eunji in her pajamas, but gone now the dirty blonde on the middle to the tips of her hair, replaced by a bright pink and sky blue color – just like Joonyoung’s current favorite figurine after watching the epic Suicide Squad. And as if coloring her hair wasn’t enough, Joonyoung’s dirty hands dared to do a makeup on her face with an exact look like Harley Quinn.

“What are you four fighting for—OH MY GOODNESS!” Their mother walked out of her bedroom and had her eyes widened as she eyed her only daughter. Instead of laughing at her just like what her brothers did, her mother looked terrified. “What happened to your hair?! And your face! Yah Jung Eunji!”

“DON’T BLAME ME MOM. THIS IS HIS FAULT!” Eunji pointed at the first born in family and looked very annoyed with his prank. Their mother turned her head accusingly, and now the dining room went silent.

“Is this washable?” Her mother wondered as she touched her daughter’s hair. When she didn’t hear any answer, she raised her head up and quickly Joonyoung nodded.

“Of course Mom, I wouldn’t prank her if it isn’t washable. I’m not that brutal, you know.” Joonyoung then looked at his sister and stifled a chuckle. “Relax dude, it’s washable. You just need a week of washing your hair to get your hair color back.” Then there was the famous haughty, meaningful smirk. “So I guess you need to shower routinely to have it back, you lazy showering girl. My intention is good, isn’t it Jinwoon? To make her shower every day,”

Jinwoon just shook his head as Minki chewed another toast in silence. Their father didn’t say anything as he continued reading newspaper and their mother caressed Eunji’s hair lovingly but agreed on Joonyoung’s intention. “He’s right. You need to shower more often.”

“MOM!”

“Ketchup, salt, and plain yoghurt. Okay, got it.” Chanyeol nodded his head as he walked out of his house with the money he safely placed on his coat’s pocket. He just barely walked off when he was abruptly halted as he heard a familiar scream from the house in front of his building. He lightly shook his head and chuckled, believing it would be only one person in this block could yell that loud. Thinking that he should visit that person soon, Chanyeol fastened his steps to reach the convenience store, but then he paused as he looked as a stranger walked out of a newly moved in house next to his best friend’s house.

Seeing how long his limbs were, Chanyeol recalled Eunji’s words last night. Then he realized that this person might be their new neighbor from States. As if he sensed he was being stared at, the new neighbor turned his head and they locked gaze.

To say he was good-looking was an understatement, Chanyeol would admit this person was charming with his sharp jawline and cold demeanor. They were exchanging small smiles as the new neighbor slowly walked to his direction.

“I didn’t see you before,” he said and Chanyeol realized he also had that low timbre but his was lighter. “I’m Sehun, Oh Sehun. I just moved in with my mom.”

“Oh right, right…” Chanyeol nodded his head and reached out to grab Sehun’s hand. “Chanyeol, Park Chanyeol. I live over there.” Chanyeol pointed his house colored in light grey with a smile. “Nice to meet you.”

“Me too,” Sehun nodded. “You’re going somewhere, I assume?”

“Oh yeah, yep I am. I’m going to a store nearby.” Chanyeol grinned lightly. “You?”

Sehun just shrugged. “Actually I was going to walk around, you know to help me to get familiar with the roads and everything. But I can give you a company, if only you want to.” Sehun looked hesitant and there was something in Chanyeol that found this cute to see.

“Well of course you can come, it’s nicer to walk with someone. And I can also show you some nice places around here.” Chanyeol grinned and Sehun had the same grin back as they started to walk.

They talked a lot; Sehun live in New York for the past ten years and has never used Korean to speak since everyone preferred English, the only person that he still conversed in Korean was his mom, Sehun danced and also played bass, so when Chanyeol told him that he and some of his best buddies were in a band his eyes sparkled.

“So who did you meet already?” Chanyeol wondered as they stepped in to the store. Sehun looked amusedly as Chanyeol did a high-five with the cashier before he walked into aisles to find his needs. “He’s also a friend. He lives in our block too,” Chanyeol explained when Sehun wondered.

“I met lot of people yesterday as we sent rice cakes…” Sehun replied calmly as he watched Chanyeol hesitated between two brands of plain yoghurts. He turned to Sehun and asked him to pick, “That one.” He picked the one he’s familiar with since his mom often drank it back in States. Chanyeol nodded and placed Sehun’s pick into his cart.

“The rice cakes are very delicious.” Chanyeol complimented as they walked to ketchup aisle.

“My mom made them by herself.” Sehun couldn’t help but feeling a little proud. He remembered his mother stayed awake to make them for everyone in their neighborhood.

“So make sure tell your mom that Chanyeol said it tasted great.” Chanyeol smiled and created small slits and wrinkles near his eyes and Sehun nodded eagerly.

“But I met someone,” Sehun said and Chanyeol turned his head. “I met a girl in our block. Her name is Jung Eunji,” he trailed off to read Chanyeol’s expression. Nothing, he got nothing. “She said she would introduce me to his best friend, a tall, giant-alike best friend,” Sehun exhaled as he slowly saw the change in Chanyeol’s eyes. He found a glitch of amusement and also melancholy. “Which I assume it was you she told me about.”

Chanyeol let out a small smile as he nodded. “She told me the same thing as well. She said we got a new neighbor and he’s from America. Eunji is always excited with foreigners, but since she couldn’t speak English very well so sometimes she felt awful on herself. She wonders you might help her to improve her English though.” Chanyeol picked ketchup bottle without asking Sehun and placed it on the cart.

“She’s so unexpected.” Sehun commented as he followed Chanyeol to get the salt.

Chanyeol lightly nodded. “I know, you might be the thousandth person to say that out loud. But unexpected sounds so polite, weird fits her better.” Chanyeol corrected and turned his head against his shoulder. “Have you seen her taste in fashion?”

Sehun laughed. “She has an amusing taste, I could tell.”

“Just wait until she hears you say it. Everyone, every guy in her life never said her taste is amusing. Awful, yes, but amusing?” He raised a brow. “You’re just so kind. I bet her pride would grow bigger in the speed of light after you said it in front of her and she would brag to everyone and keep on wearing those horrible outfits.”

“You seem to know her well,” Sehun unconsciously fished out.

“Of course, I’m her best friend. The one and only that would be forced to listen to her stories, the one and only that would bear to see those horrible coats and sweaters, the one and only that would settle with her cheap vanilla laundry smells.” Chanyeol shrugged and walked off to the cashier, but before then Chanyeol went over to pick a bag of gummy bears.

“PARK CHANYEOL.”

Both of them turned their heads to the voice called for her best friend, and they widened their eyes at the sight. Standing before them was Jung Eunji, still in her pajamas and still not wearing any scarf or gloves in this very cold weather, panting, and pig-tailed hair that colored in bright pink and sky blue. She stepped closer to her best friend and pulled him down to reach his ear.

Sehun didn’t know whatever they were talking about right now; but he could tell Eunji was furious about something and she casually hit Chanyeol’s crown of head as he chuckled about it, he could tell Chanyeol patiently listened to her rant and clicked his tongue whenever Eunji was about to say a bad word, and he could tell something fishy between them – from how Chanyeol kept caressing her hair and gazed at her as if Eunji was something precious for her, from how Eunji didn’t even care when Chanyeol took off his coat to put it on her.

Sehun looked down on his shoes and a small smirk etched on his face, “Best friends huh.” He mumbled quietly as he stood there, patiently waited until they were finished with their conversation.

As usual, the training coach would gather every female trainee in one of their large practice room as they would announce another line-up for their agency’s upcoming girl group. Everyone was anxious, everyone was looking at each other, everyone was wondering. No one held hands with their so called friends because everyone knew this was a competition; friendship title didn’t sell out here.

The rumor has spread; the agency was going to debut a five-membered girl group in New Year, since their agency has confirmed it to happen. If the members were already confirmed, the rest would be only fitting their outfits, practicing the songs 24/7 for a week, recording their parts in the song, filming their music video, and releasing teasers. Their agency was not small, it was rather huge, that was why every group or singer came out of their agency would be famous both domestically and internationally.

“I believe you all know the reason why we are gathering you here.” The head training coach, Miss Song, said without a smile, as usual. “I watched every of you trained, some for couple years some others for some months. I watched your determination, I watched your intention. Just as you could see, some of your friends quitted. I believe they quitted because they didn’t have the talents to be famous or couldn’t take the rivalries. I watched and right now I have my list.”

Miss Song has worked for the agency for almost twelve years with her iron fists. The agency always trusted her picks, because she always picked the bests; the visual, the main dancer, the happy virus, the main vocal, and also the leader. From her choices, only one failed her because after debut she couldn’t take the heat and fell sick. No one heard the ex-member anymore after she decided to quit her group.

“The selected members from my list have to see me after this.” Miss Song unfolded the paper and started to read one by one, “Jung Soojung, trained for three years.”

Naeun’s palm started to wet as she saw Soojung widened her eyes and squealed like a baby, she jumped right here and there, so thrilled that finally she could debut.

“Hong Yookyung, trainee for eight months.”

Naeun widened her eyes as Yookyung smiled widely, they locked gaze in the air for few seconds before Yookyung quickly looked away and kept the happy smile for herself.

“Kim Yerim, trainee for a year.”

Naeun watched the little child on the front line widened her eyes, she might be surprised to be debuting in such young age, Naeun thought so too – but then she realized every group would always need a maknae that could do so many cute things such as aegyo or other innocent stuffs.

“Kang Seulgi, trainee for seven years.”

Naeun acknowledged her dancing talent and noticed her abs since ages ago. They were casted through same casting system, so Naeun couldn’t help but clapped her hands silently for her. She looked at her, and Seulgi did the same too. They were smiling to each other. From all members, Naeun admitted Seulgi was a recommendable one.

Naeun silently prayed, wished for her name. She promised she would do anything if she was called. Anything, she whispered, anything even the impossible ones.

“Park Sooyoung, trainee for ten years.”

Sooyoung widened her eyes, of course she didn’t see it coming. She turned her head to see Naeun and raised her hands questioningly with a shrug. She mouthed what happened and Naeun could tell she was definitely surprised to hear it.

“That’s it.” Miss Song then walked out, she didn’t give a damn for the rest that wasn’t being called out.

Sooyoung went to Naeun and caught her grip. “What the happened just now?! She promised both of us spots! How the your name wasn’t called?!” Sooyoung watched Naeun trembled and tightened her grip. “Naeun, get yourself altogether. Naeun! Yah Son Naeun!”

Naeun’s eyes were blurred in tears as she hurriedly bolted out of the practice room. She needed space, she needed time, and she needed to breathe.

Chanyeol just got out of shower, after earlier promising her best friend to color her hair back at the hair salon. She looked the cutest just now, freaked out that her hair wouldn’t return to original color and he couldn’t help but mentally supported Joonyoung for his prank – because at least today he would spend another surprising day with Eunji.

Chanyeol was in the middle of picking clothes to wear when his eyes landed on five bags wrapped prettily with small notes on each. His hands reached out for them and smiled; they were all Eunji’s Christmas presents that he didn’t have a heart to wear it on since they were too precious.

But then again, he recalled Eunji’s words in the bus and how cute she pouted over it. Chanyeol wanted to see Eunji feeling proud today, for her gift, so he picked out one of them; a shirt colored in plaid blue.

He was in the middle of buttoning when his phone beeped. Furrowing his brows, because he promised Eunji he would go there thirty minutes more, then he thought it wouldn’t be her. He was right; it was Park Sooyoung, a close sunbae in his agency when he was an active trainee.

“Chanyeol!” She sounded in rush and panic. “Chanyeol, you have to help me! Chanyeol please, please, please!”

Chanyeol was flabbergasted. “What happened sunbaenim? What’s wrong? Why do you sound so bothered?”

“Naeun….” Sooyoung panted and didn’t finish her line. “Our Naeunnie,”

“What—what happened to her? Sunbaenim, please tell me what’s wrong.” Chanyeol started to pace.

“Today is the day, where Miss Song announced the line-up for the girl group. You know how big it is for me and Naeun…, we’ve been trained for years and we are not young anymore. We have to debut anytime soon.”

This was also a reason why Chanyeol quitted; he just couldn’t take the heat of rivalries. “Sunbaenim, you’re still young.”

“If I am still young, I wouldn’t be this worried. You have no idea how talented these kids nowadays,” Sooyoung swallowed. “They are good and very charming. Miss Song adores them.” There’s a pause before she continued, “So we begged Miss Song to let us debut this time. She said yes, but then on the announcement—”

“—she didn’t call your names?” Chanyeol finished and somehow it brought back memories.

“She called for me…,” Sooyoung said sadly.

Somehow Chanyeol understood the pieces. His shoulders tensed right away and his jaw tightened, “… She didn’t call for Naeun.”

Sooyoung nodded, “Yes. Yes. Yes. Please help me find her. She isn’t in her right state Chanyeol, she was desperate. I’m scared she would do crazy things.”

“Okay sunbaenim, I’ll call you later.” Chanyeol hung up and hurriedly picked his coat and stormed out of his room. He didn’t even bid his mother goodbye as he walked out, he had to find her.

Chanyeol ran out of breath as he arrived around the agency he used to visit almost every day, he was looking around to find that tall female with the beauty of a goddess. Chanyeol cleared his throat, getting desperate as he scanned the people around. He clicked his tongue, cursed inside before bolted to look after her.

It was crowded, people walked back and forth and Chanyeol needed to be very careful to find her. He already visited the park she used to come by whenever she was feeling blue, he went to places that familiar with Son Naeun, but yet she wasn’t at any of them.

As Chanyeol started to get hopeless, Sooyoung also told that Naeun hasn’t contacted her ever since, Chanyeol found her. She was crying, her cheeks reddened because of the minus degree of winter and also because of her sadness, and somehow it pained his heart. She was looking down on her shoes, definitely didn’t see Chanyeol was standing on the opposite her, barely moved because of the traffic lights.

As soon as the traffic lights turned green – a sign of passerby could walk over the crosswalk, Chanyeol ran for her as Naeun was still standing there, with her head slowly looked up and widened her eyes, of course she didn’t see Chanyeol would be there, for her.

“YAH SON NAEUN—” Chanyeol couldn’t even finish his words as the time he arrived to her, the traffic lights turned to red and the cars started to make their ways and create such loud, deafening vehicle’s voices. His tensed shoulders, his short intake of breaths, his trembling hands, everything about Chanyeol was truly living that it surprised Naeun for real.

So Naeun burst into louder, saddening, heartbreaking wails as she crashed her head against Chanyeol’s board chest. Chanyeol couldn’t even produce a word to help her with the tears, so he just pushed her closer and placed his hand on her shoulder, slowly tapped it without a sound.

“You will be okay,” he said lowly, tried to get her calm. “You will be okay Naeun, believe me you will.”

###

 Eunji, could we reschedule today? I have a sudden business to finish. Sorry, I promise I will make up to you.

What business?

Where are you? 

Is it with the boys? 

You don’t tell me. 

Eunji huffed exasperatedly as her messages went unread by her best friend. Chanyeol hardly ever did things like this, so she was very curious. Something happened, and sometimes Chanyeol didn’t need to tell Eunji everything; but he did. He always told her everything – from the random stuffs to important things, but he didn’t tell her what business he currently was on.

She locked the screen and decided to go to hair salon today because she didn’t want to postpone. She needed her hair back and after she did get it back, she would make Joonyoung pay for this.

After making sure she got everything in her small purse, Eunji walked off to reach the nearest bus shelter, with her hair bun, when she accidentally met Oh Sehun just got out of his house.

He looked at her and smiled, standing lean and tall as he waited Eunji to come by and wave at him. “Hi.” He greeted warmly.

“Hi neighbor.” Eunji greeted back, with a smile. Then a sudden idea came up in her little brain, and before she hesitated like she usually did to Chanyeol, she proposed an idea. “Hey are you busy?”

Sehun shook his head. “Nope, why?”

“Would you like the idea of giving me a company?”

30.03.2017

this chapter dedicated to 1hour loop of Taeyeon's Fine.

this is such a long chapter, for any of you that still adores ChanJi.

THANK YOU SO MUCH ♥♥♥