“Just pull the trigger, darling.”

Biting down hard on his bottom lip, Chanyeol tried to swallow down the tears as he looked at his lover smiling at him. Even in a moment like this, her smile was still as mesmerizing as ever. There had never been a time where her smile hadn’t been able to not cheer him up. She was his happiness. And now they were trapped in a situation like this. He knew that there was no choice. There was no either this or that. There was no alternative choice. There was just one way. But he still needed to decide. It would end the way it would either way, but he had to make the decision to grant her last wish – or not. It was the hardest decision of his life. Once he had made up his mind, he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.

Haneul’s smile softened. She knew how hard that was for him – she had to do the same years back. Back then, it had almost destroyed their relationship because it devastated Haneul so much that she distanced herself from everyone a little bit and Chanyeol had tried his best to pull her back in but instead, she just pushed them farther away. The woman lightly chuckled at the irony of her thoughts. Now wasn’t the time to think back – even if it practically was the same situation. Back then it had been her best friend but right now, she wasn’t a best friend. She was a lover. She was his lover. Imagining how much harder it must be for him right now hurt her. It killed her on the inside. When Chanyeol lifted the gun and she looked into the barrel, she couldn’t help but smile, even when she started to cough out blood. Looking past the barrel of the gun, she could see how tears wouldn’t stop flowing on Chanyeol’s face and how his jaw clenched. “Promise me you’ll never regret – and you’ll never forget, Chanyeol,” the woman croaked out as she tasted the blood on her tongue just before Chanyeol drew in something that sounded like a desperate breath and put off the safety catch. Rubbing his eyes, he nodded. A tear rolled down Haneul’s face as she saw the most hurt expression she had ever seen on his face.

And she had been the one to always comfort him, to be his comfort zone, his home, his haven.

She had always been the place for his peace. Now she would leave him.

“Haneul…” Chanyeol took another deep breath, holding back the tears to be able to clearly see her face. This would be their last moment together. He wanted to always be able to remember her face, so he stared at her without taking his eyes off her for a second. It was still hard for him to talk. He didn’t even fully grasp the situation yet. But he would soon. He lowered the gun. “I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you – after all the sh*t that happened after the world turned into a hellhole.” Haneul smiled softly at Chanyeol again. She wanted him to remember her as the happy person she had always been able to be. Even in her last moment. Even as she drew her last breath. She wanted him to know that she was happy.

“I love you so much, Haneul. So, so much…” His voice broke.

Tears streamed down both of their faces, but Haneul was more of the silent crier, so the tears just flowed while she didn’t make a sound. She still kept up her smile, her gaze painful and full of apologies. “I had been the happiest person to walk this planet, being able to have met you, Chanyeol, please know that,” Haneul’s gaze was piercing but at the same time pleading. Chanyeol took a few deep breaths to calm himself down again. Squeezing his eyes shut, he then lifted his head up at the roof. The sky was grey and there were already a few droplets falling down through the crack in the roof that was now there. He felt it on the top of his head. It was such a sh*tty day. He looked back at Haneul, finding her smiling at him softly again. “I love you, darling,” she said in the softest voice he had ever heard her talk in. Taking in a deep breath, Chanyeol lifted the gun up into her face again.

For a few seconds, there was dead silence around them.

They weren’t able to hear anything. It was like they were in a vacuum all of a sudden.

No sound, no surroundings, just them. And the gun.

Chanyeol closed his eyes. Sound came back right then. But the darkness prevailed.

“I love you, too.”

The gunshot reverberated louder in his ears than his heart falling into a thousand pieces.