As Mr. Park had promised, the advanced class that he moved you over to following Christmas Break, just in time for second semester, literally proved to be heaven on Earth. The students there worked diligently, the room was always quiet and still, and Mr. Park felt no need to correct anyone or closely supervise any troublesome defiants. It was all music to your ears. Finally, you didn't have to wear your earphones just to block out the deafening noise clouding your thinking process, and finally you didn't have to arrive so early to class, because you trusted that you would actually be able to complete your work after the bell rung. In some way, you always knew that things would get better, and they did.

On the first day of your new schedule, you recognized some students from other classes sitting in bundles at various corners of the room, talking amongst themselves. Because you didn't know them well enough, you decided to take a seat on your lonesome, but this time in a different area of the room. This time, you didn't feel like the right side of the room was the only safe place. Here, anywhere felt safe. As soon as Mr. Park caught sight of you walking up to the classroom ever so enthusiastically, he smiled warmly and placed a soft hand on your shoulder. "I'm glad you could make it miss Y/N. Please, find a seat."

His angelic voice sent tingles down your spine, and it somehow put you as ease. How he could do it was beyond you, but you didn't dare question it anymore. You liked Mr. Park, and there was nothing you could do about it. You embraced your feelings for him around Tammy, and though most of the time she secretly cringed, she knew that there would be nothing she could say to sway your involuntary attraction.

"Mr. Park," you'd say. "Could you please help me study? I forgot all about this event and I need it memorized for the test tomorrow." He'd look into your eyes and respond, "I would, but not until you give me something in return." You would lean yourself over his desk and prop your chin on your hand, eyelashes batting slowly. "Like what?"

"You awake, miss Y/N?" Mr. Park called to you, a dry erase marker twirling around his fingers as he stood confusedly in front of the white board and as the entire classroom eyed you awkwardly. You removed your hand from your chin and erased the slight smirk you wore, snapping out of that daydreaming mess. "Y-yes, I'm sorry Mr. Park. I-"

"Did you hear the question?" He cut in. "No, I didn't... Could you please repeat it?" You muttered shyly. He chuckled and faced you, smiling forgivingly. "What was your answer for number three?"

The days continued on like this. You, sitting at your desk in complete silence, listening to the sounds of occasional rain and winds from the outside, the sounds of pencils rapidly scraping against paper, and the sounds of Mr. Park typing away at his keyboard. You could breathe a bit more now, but you also became awakened. You tried sending signals to Mr. Park while he taught, you eyed him intensely in hopes that he'd notice the difference between a regular stare and lustful one, and you tried catching him outside of class more often, not being able to contain the need to be with him, to feel him. I'm drawn to him and I don't know why, you'd think to yourself. This just seems so wrong but at the same time, so right.
~
"I don't mean to intrude by asking, but what is it that you think about so much in class, Y/N?" He asked you, holding a stack of papers in his arm that he was on his way to get laminated as you walked alongside him during passing period. "Ahh.. Its kind of a secret," you playfully teased, managing to steal a glance at him as he smiled to himself. "A secret? Why can't you tell your favorite teacher?" He whined with a puppy dog face, smiling eyes twinkling brightly. "Well.. I guess I could.." You trailed off, glimpsing back at some of the thoughts that ran through your mind during class, and eagerly decided to chang the subject. "So how's everything going with your life, Mr. Park? Besides school, at least?" He puffed out his lower lip and faced the ceiling, running a free hand through his perfect, wispy hair while he thought. "Not much, actually," He turned his face to you, eyes blank and wandering, as if he weren't even sure himself.

"Just been busy doing regular adult things, I guess." he chuckled, looking away and down to the ground. Mr. Park stopped in his tracks and placed his hand on a doorknob at the end of the hall, looking back at you who stood by your lonesome, watching him with a melancholy smile. "I'll see you tomorrow, Y/N. Okay?" He smiled brightly, lifting his eyebrows to assure you, and entered the bright room accompanied by some other chatty teachers. You furrowed your brows and your eyes sunk, shrugging your shoulders just to convince yourself that you were alright with the two of you being like this, and continued on your way.

That night, you couldn't fall asleep. Images flashed across your mind, all you could see was him and his plump lips, his entrancing eyes that seemed to snatch you out of reality so long as you looked directly into them, and his laughter, his voice.. It was all too unreal, and you couldn't forget it no matter how hard you tried. The frustration that built up eventually caused anger and confusion to muster, but you couldn't find any way to release it. That's when you decided to get out of bed, and go for a walk.

After grabbing your phone, you threw on some shoes and a jacket, then carefully made your way through the house and out the front door, using ever ounce of stealth you had to keep quiet like your life depended on it. Once your foot left the wooden floor panels of the front steps, your heart felt free. The wind tore at your hair, the warm, midnight air. Crickets' songs played faintly all around you, and the dark, mysterious cobalt sky twinkled as diamonds would. You squinted upwards, trying to count each individual one, but the stars moved and throbbed so much that you ended up losing your place. Inhale, exhale. A repeating cycle ongoing for life, this was. The night always brought you peace, though you didn't know why.

After walking along the cement, kicking small pebbles astray from their flower beds and plucking random weeds that peeked through the sidewalk, a lone rounded corner at the end of the path caught your eye. You decided to plant yourself there, to sit and stargaze through the night. To think over everything happening in your life, and what was to come. A diminishment of stress left your body, the lightness of a feather managing to seize you, and once your eyes tired from counting the stars, you closed them.

Not long later, you were awoken by an abrupt alarm, and your blood-shot eyes pierced open as you checked your phone screen. A moment of blurriness subsided, finally allowing you to read clearly. 7 A.M?! I SLEPT FOR SEVEN HOURS..

OUTSIDE??!

Just then, you picked yourself up from the floor, shaking your head and running your fingers through your hair paranoidly to make sure that no bugs, dirt or anything disgusting found its' way in during the night. As you rushed around your room gathering up an outfit to wear so that you could jump in your car and make it to school on time, a slight sense of panic rushed over you. Mr. Park... Crap. Even when you didn't want to think of him, you did. In annoyance, you threw on a random shirt and jeans, a light jacket, some shoes, and left with the car keys clutched tightly in your hand.

During your drive there, the smallest things distracted you. The birds in the sky, the headlights of cars before you, the swaying of trees on the side of the road and the sun beaming down on the surface of the world. You felt drained, and the only thing you could think of was him. Rushing to class, you arrived there just on time before the bell and sat down in your regular seat, anxious as could be. While the announcements were running, your teacher walked in and the class recited the pledge soullessly. After everything had been broadcasted, everyone in class sat down and continued to listen, unless sleep was more important.

The wait for third period bore you out of your mind, but you had no other choice than to sit tight and let the hours fly by to keep you sane. Once the bell rung, you walked as quickly as you could down to third period. The number of times you counted down till class ended didn't seem to be of any significance the last few weeks, but today, they stood out to you more than ever. You were ready to face your feelings, and to face Mr. Park, to tell him that he was absolutely and utterly special to you. You didn't care if he was a teacher, even if you did somewhere deep down, because you've fallen for him too hard and the longer that time goes by, the more you can't control it.

As you sat down in class, you tapped your foot repeatedly against the floor, your fingers fumbling under the desk as you watched the doorway intently, just waiting for Mr. Park to walk in. No matter what, you would do this, despite how hard it would be. It's senior year and if you never see this man again, you would regret it forever. Just as you pulled out your notebook to start the warmup and other students walked into class, the familiar click of dress shoes made their way into the classroom, carrying a very handsome Mr. Park with them. Your heart beat accelerated, your breathing stopped, and you held your tongue in attempt to keep yourself from running up to him and melting in his arms. Mr. Park, why do you do this to me?

"Everyone, make sure you're copying down the warm up, we have a partnering activity today," he informed, holding both of his hands together as he scanned the class, then headed back to his desk which carried a large stack of papers. Today he seemed a bit run-down, and you hadn't seen a smile from him since he walked in. Your eyes wandered from him down to your worksheet, and miraculously, you were able to focus without any distractions.

A student walked up to you from the far side of the room and asked if you would like to be their partner, which you nodded meekly in response and moved to the desk beside theirs, opening up a textbook and deciding on who would do questions one through ten or eleven through twenty. Once the specifics had been arranged, you and the other student went to work on finding the answers and copying them down.

Because the seat you moved to sat closer to Mr. Park's desk, the resistance to look his way weakened. You snuck peeks at him every chance you got, but his face appeared stressed no matter times you glanced his way.

Eventually, you and your partner finished the assignment and you got up to go turn in your paper. As you walked up to Mr. Park's desk and reached out to drop the paper into the tray, he looked up at you. His sharp eyes danced along your neck and then up to your face, staring longingly as if he were trying to tell you something. You stared back, unintentionally at first, but then you realized what was actually happening and looked away sheepishly. Cheeks red, you made your way back to your desk and sat down, gathering your things into your backpack. I need to tell him. When you looked back up at Mr. Park, naturally, he remained with his cold, yet comforting and warm gaze planted on you, a hand propping his head up. Immediately, your eyes shut tight and you bit your lip, afraid to make eye contact with him for you didn't know what it would drive you to do if you did. That man was dangerous to you, you couldn't control yourself around him.

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, the bell for class to end rung, and you instinctively walked straight up to Mr. Park's desk. "Mr. Park, I have something I need to tell you," you pronounced, palms sweating and your heart beating out of your chest. Mr. Park lifted his head from his hand and looked right into your eyes, a pinch of confusion evident in them. "What is it?"

You stuttered, looking down and taking hold of your jacket sleeves. With courage, you mustered up the nerve to stand up tall and lock him down with the same cold stare he provided you with earlier. "When's your off period?" He looked away for a moment and read his watch. "Right now."

The two of you walked together down the hallway and out to the back of the school, secretly and side by side, hushing one another if someone's shoe made a sound any louder than a pen drop. About midway down the side of the building, Mr. Park stopped. You looked around, and no one else was in sight, only the two of you who's chest rose and lowered in sync. He peered at you for a moment, not saying a word, then without warning, removed his glasses and cleaned them on the bottom of his button-down. The untucked fabric that lifted revealed his muscled six pack, and it took everything in you to resist grabbing his neck and kissing him right then and there. "What is it?" He spoke quietly, a flair of mystery embedded in the tone of his words. You gulped, avoiding looking at him directly. "I've been... I-I've been thinking about this for some time now, a-and..." You started, anxiety overtaking your mind as the situation slowly became reality and you barely begun to notice that Mr. Park himself was standing before you; tall, handsome, and ever so enticing.

"Go on.." Mr. Park insisted, stepping nearer to you as you closed your eyes in fear. "I can't stop thinking about you, Mr. Park. I feel so.. So horrible and wrong and bad... I-I like you and I don't know why..." You begun to tear up, but you held your act together. He wouldn't be able to see that with your eyes closed anyway. "But you're a teacher, and it's killing me inside."

Mr. Park took no chances in waiting. He placed a hand on your face, causing your eyes to lift and to read into him, like glass bulbs that shone even in the absence of sunlight. "I knew you were gonna say that," Mr. Park whispered, backing you against the wall of the building and running his dainty hand along the side of your face. "But you're eighteen, and I'm twenty one. Age is just a number though, isn't it?" You trembled beneath him, and this time not out of fear, but out of lust. "It's just.. s-so wrong-" you worried, a tear falling from your face, until suddenly, Mr. Park's lips pressed against yours, comforting and gentle, the smell of his cologne embodying you entirely, causing your legs to go weak to the point where you used his shoulder for support. You reciprocated, leaning in closer as to deepen the kiss and close the distance between the two of you, until there was none left and you lost the ability to breathe. He pulled away slowly, eyes batting in disbelief, and moved away from you, shame in his eyes. "I.. I have to go," he stated, tucking in the right side of his button-up before he left you there in the back of the school, all alone. With your heart in pieces and your brain a scattered mess, you begun to weep in the loneliness that was the edge of the school's perimeter. Your knees gave in and you slid down against the wall, sitting there while sulking in your tears and memories, wishing that things could've been different.