Jessica didn't sleep at all that night. Taeyeon was fast asleep in her own bed and her mother was in bed too. Jessica spent the night rennovating the room since she'd practically be living there for ages. When she finished decorating the room, she flopped herself onto the bed and opened her phone. On her lockscreen, there was a picture of her and the pretty Yoona. Jessica thought of how much she missed the kind girl and she went through her photo gallery, missing all the other members. Why hadn't the manager let them stay in their dorm all together like before?...But Jessica knew very well that could not be anymore, their group was practically over. Sure, they were the nation's girl group but with all the new rookie groups, people were getting distracted quick and Jessica was glad the rookie groups were gaining so much popularity from the public, particulary gfriend and twice, who treated her like a big sister whenever they saw her. Why had she begged to come along?....she suddenly felt her fear of being alone was a burden.

The following day, Taeyeon woke up. She woke up at around 4:00am because she couldn't sleep. She thought to herself she may as well fix up the mess the house was, she could deal with her mother later. 4 hours later, the house was all clean and tidy. 

'Taeyeon, honey, thank you for fixing the house', Taeyeon's mother appeared and kissed her on the cheek.

'O-Oh mom, you're awake. Good morning', Taeyeon smiled sweetly.

'I'm going to go to work alright honey'.

'You still go to work?'.

'Why, of course. I'm a very busy woman with a very busy job', Taeyeon's mom smiled and winked kindly. She walked outside and closed the door softly.

Is this the same woman who slapped me? When Taeyeon was 16, this whole slapping thing was much worse as the group dorm was not organised until she was 18. From the age of 13-16, Taeyeon had to cover up the abuse marks every time she went to train. She never wore anything too revealing. Jessica and her were close since they were 10. They stopped being close when the family issue began to happen, when Taeyeon began to feel so envious of the happy and pretty ice princess. Her mother would have random outbursts when she was drunk but when sober, still the same kind woman that Taeyeon once knew.  

Taeyeon sighed and turned around, almost walking right in Jessica, who had her arms folded. Taeyeon just sighed again and told her the whole story. By the time she was done explaining, Jessica's ice cold expression was still pasted on.

'Um..so yeah, it's no big deal'.

'No big deal? So this is why you stopped talking to me? You know how much I blamed mysel..oh nevermind. I can't believe you didn't tell me about your dad. I can't believe you couldn't even tell your bestfriend this. Why wouldn't you tell me? I could've helped you', Jessica spat bitterly.

'I'm not expecting a sympathy hug. I know what I did was wrong but I was afraid and so jealous of you'.

'Why would you be jealous of me? What is there to be jealous about?', Jessica pursed her small lips and shook her head sadly. If only Taeyeon knew she wasn't the only one who had to conceal abuse marks. Ever since she was young, her mother had always treated her sister Krystal better than her. Krystal was prettier, taller, smarter and more of everything Taeyeon thought Jessica was. Jessica's mother was no alcohol addict, just a big who wished Jessica had never been born. She would fight with her mother all the time when she was younger and was much closer to her father. Her father had died in a car accident when she was 9. The following year, she met Taeyeon. She grew so attached to Taeyeon. She relied on Taeyeon and training to take her away from her mother. After the car accident, Jessica was blamed for her father's death. Her father was coming back from work so why was she blamed? Because her father was going to sleep in that day but Jessica woke him up. Jessica had always felt guilty, she had started to believe it the more her mother had said it while hitting her. Her mother had never hit her before, it was just arguments and clashing because of their different personalities. From the ages 9-18, the abuse kept happening and sometimes it go so awful...it always happened when Krystal was away from home which was practically always. Jessica was so close to her sister and still is but she barely sees her due to their busy schedules. Krystal had no idea though, no one did...Jessica knew she wasn't a weak person on the outside but on the inside, she was like one million pieces of broken glass...

'Jessica, were you listening?'.

'Uh..'.

'Jessica?', Taeyeon shook her shoulder worriedly.

'I'm okay. I got angry but I understand you'.

'Um..okay', Taeyeon's forehead creased in confusion. Just a second ago, Jessica looked angry enough to slap her. Jessica tried to walk past her but Taeyeon grabbed onto her wrist.

'Let's watch some drama. I think we should watch Yoona's.'

'Okay, let's do it'.

The two girls sat on the couch and Taeyeon opened her laptop. They watched through 10 episodes of Yoona's drama, it was so good. No words were need, shy smiles were exchanged and by the time they were done, it was 8:00pm and her mother had returned. Jessica and Taeyeon were frantic to set the table and prepare food so when her mother came back, there'd be no chance of an outburst. It was all good for a while, the mother was making nice conversation with Jessica and Taeyeon when suddenly...

'Taeyeon, what have you been doing the whole day with Jessica?', Taeyeon could smell a hint of soju on the woman's breath.

'W-we've been watching Yoona's drama'.

'Look at beautiful Yoona, so talented and spending her idol life doing relevant things while all you can do is watch her'.

'We're on hiatus, Mom', Taeyeon saw Jessica bite her lip out of the corner of her eye.

'How come she's not on hiatus?'.

'She's chosen to stay off hiatus'.

'And why can't you do the same?'.

'I deserve a break!', Taeyeon finally snapped.

Her mother stood up and shoved her out of her chair. She kicked and punched Taeyeon for what felt like forever.

'Stop, please stop it!', she heard Jessica whimper weakly. She had never heard Jessica sound so helpless and afraid. All Jessica was doing was sitting frozen in her seat, her deer like eyes looking like they were caught in headlights. Why wasn't she helping her?

After what felt like forever, her mother quit abusing Taeyeon and went to her room. Taeyeon slowly stood up, holding her sides and gasping for air. She turned around and looked at Jessica, who was silently crying.

'Look at you, acting as if you were the one who just got hit...I didn't expect you to help me but I didn't expect you to just stand there'.

'Taeyeon, I-'.

'Save it, I don't want your pity', Taeyeon walked to her room. Jessica ran to her room and cried into her pillow, she felt so guilty and so ashamed for not helping Taeyeon but how could she help when all she could picture in her head was her own mother, relentlessly slapping her and pulling her hair, wrapping her hands around her daughter's throat. Jessica remembered all the times she cut herself and cried at her father's grave, feeling like a murderer, feeling as if she didn't deserve to even breathe anymore. 'Oh Taeyeon, I'm so sorry. I wish I helped you but you don't even know what I've been through. How could you have ever been jealous of someone like me...hiding your emotions isn't strong....