Sorry for the late update, I had been so busy with Christmas plans and the end of University this semester! Please enjoy the chapter and expect more where that came from! X 

Hye-ri had left that night. She had ignored Byung-yeon’s urgings not to walk alone in the dark, and now he had not seen her for two days. Admittedly, it felt like one hundred.

The eunuch was settling in at the palace, and very much to Byung-yeon’s distaste was also settling in his private quarters. Once again, he had to admit that it was nice not to be alone. If only to take his mind off of Hye-ri.

When the moon finally appeared, he had to note that yet another day had passed without seeing her. This was not something he had necessarily been unfamiliar with. When they were children, he would often go a week or two without catching her scornful gaze and made no mental note of it, but now he found it unsettling.  

Byung-yeon had hesitantly agreed to raising a glass with his new roommate, though his mind was far beyond the walls of the palace. The duo’s conversations had been slow and somewhat uninteresting, particularly as Sam-nom explained he had received more blank letters from the King addressed to Consort Park.

“I remember how much time they would spend together. They were inseparable after Her Majesty died and quite often before that,” Byung-yeon’s brows came together in confusion. “He only began ignoring her after the new Queen entered the palace.”

“Do you think she had something to do with it? I get the feeling most people here don’t like her,” Sam-nom asked with pouted lips.

Byung-yeon set his cup down with an audible thud. “It was implied. Now get some sleep.”

Hauling himself off the stiff floor, he stretched his sore back like a weary old cat before making his way up to his nest. The day had felt longer than normal. The past two evenings stretched out like a dried fruit, the wrinkles like hours that never ceased.

Sam-nom, feeling rather discouraged about the wasted love story, collected all of the blank replies in her hand. “It’s a shame that someone can’t express how they feel, don’t you think?”

Byung-yeon leaned against a pole when he finally reached the top, his neck stretching backwards as he permitted his eyes to close. “What do you mean?”

“All these years... and Consort Park has never stopped fighting to see him. If he could only tell her in words about how he felt, whether he cared for her or not, I think both of them would live much happier lives.” The sound of crickets filled the momentary silence. “Don’t you agree?”

Confessions were something Byung-yeon didn’t feel equipped to comment on. He had never given one, though he had received quite a number over the years. The worst part about these awkward mumblings from palace nurses and handmaidens were that he had not seen them coming. It was only after that they tearfully offered him their hearts that he was able to reflect on the past; their glances gone on too long, their uncomfortable stumbles just as he happened to pass by…

His mind drifted to Hye-ri. She could shoot him daggers with a single squint, her annoyance easily painted onto her face like a mask. Her small nose would scrunch up in the middle of her face, making her seem as if she had even more freckles across her cheeks than what she really did. That was the look she had most often given him, and he couldn’t help but admit to feeling uneasy when he realized that it was in no way affectionate. He shook his head as if to knock the thought out of it, wondering why he had begun the enquiry in the first place.

It had suddenly dawned on him in that moment, however, that if he were to write a confession to the woman he loved, he would not be able to do it freely. It would have to be secret; as locked away as the gowns of the former Queens. People in the palace had their noses dug in cakes they should not have been eating, and with a quick realization, he noted that the King was certainly no different.

Digging the dagger from the pole beside him, he swiftly swung it down towards the small table. It sliced through the top of the flickering candle with perfect precision, the flame disappearing like the echo of a snapped finger.

Sam-nom screamed in high-pitched horror. “You scared me! Ah, seriously! Please just use your mouth if you have something to-”

Byung-yeon jumped down from the top tier, not bothering to use the ladder this time. Sam-nom gasped again, but the guard was too preoccupied with what he believed to be a very large discovery. Using the two daggers he kept on his hip, Byung-yeon swiftly rubbed together another light, bringing the blank letters close enough to kiss the flame.

As soon as he did so, the letters revealed a hidden message only seen by the light of a candle. His heart flipped in his chest, the reality of the past seven years staring them both in the face.  

“What is this?” Sam-nom asked with bewilderment.

“Apple vinegar.” Byung-yeon’s eyes danced over the Chinese characters. “It only appears if you hold it next to fire.”

He was so focussed on the heartfelt message, that when the eunuch officially called him ‘Hyung’, he could only look up in confusion. The kid wore a grin too big for his face, and although Byung-yeon did not smile, he felt somewhat comforted by it.

“I can treat you as my brother now, right?”

Still staring in bewilderment, he coughed to bring himself out of the gaze. He set the letters down too, their passionate words inappropriate for his interference. “I never agreed to any type of brotherhood.”

“Come on!” Sam-nom teased as the awkward guard began to take his leave. “Why are you like this? I really like the sound of ‘Kim Hyung’!”

With a firm stare into his eyes, Byung-yeon pulled the dagger from the table’s wood. Something about him seemed so unusual... too unnatural for a eunuch. The longer he looked into the eunuch’s eyes, the more uncomfortable he became, and with an awkward cough he decided to leave the rest of the mission up to Sam-nom.

“Take those to Consort Park,” he said once he retreated back to the top tier. “Those letters are seven years overdue.”

~.~.~.~.~.~

Hye-ri gingerly stepped around large stones and stray crickets in order to make her way to the clothing line. Her sister’s small dresses flapped like the unfallen petal of a flower in the night breeze. They had once belonged to Hye-ri, forcing the girl to question why they could still not afford new clothing despite their work in the palace. The gap between the rich and the poor was ever growing, making her reflect back on Byung-yeon’s secret society.

Maybe he really was a hero.

She rolled onto her toes to fetch every piece of musty clothing from the summer air. It was fortunate that her father and sister had fallen asleep straight after dinner, as it gave her time to think.

Two days had passed that she had not seen Byung-yeon. Of course, he would eventually have to fulfill his promise, but for the time being she needed space to contemplate her feelings on the situation. It wasn’t that she was angry with him. It wasn’t even that she believed Lee Yeong was in danger. It was that whenever she thought about him in alleyways ducking and running for his life, her heart felt as if it were going to rip through her chest as easily as a needle through silk.

“Kang Hye-ri.”

With a small shriek, she dropped the basket she was holding in the dirt. Clothes dropped in all directions, but the voice was too familiar for her to care about the rewashing she would have to do. Spinning around at the sound of her name, she shot an angry look at her intruder.

“Byung-yeon! What are you doing here at this time of night?”

His eyes scanned over her nightdress down to her toes. “You’re bleeding.”

Hye-ri followed his gaze, uncomfortably putting one foot over the other. “It’s nothing. Don’t ignore my question.”

Byung-yeon didn’t hesitate to come over to her. He put his hands on her shoulders, steadying himself as he got a better view of her wounds. “She’s overworking you again. Nobody can dance for six hours straight. It’s not natural, Hye-ri.”

“It’s my job.” She wanted to shift out of his touch yet she didn’t. “There’s nothing I can do but follow her instructions.”

Byung-yeon’s head fell to the side. He was dressed in his normal black fabrics, but his hair was hanging halfway loose from its usual ponytail. Hye-ri couldn’t seem to take her eyes off of how long it stretched; how it fell into a point at the small of his back.

Her thoughts were clearly too far gone, because she suddenly felt his strong arms wrap themselves around the back of her legs, kicking her knees out and tossing her body into his arms. She clamped a hand over in shock, trying desperately not to wake her with a shriek.

“This really isn’t necessarily,” she clarified as she sat bridal-style in his arms.

He didn’t meet her eye. “You need bandages.”

Byung-yeon’s arms effortlessly carried her over to the house’s porch. He set her down with the delicacy of a Ming vase, her red toes dangling off as they had when she was a child. It was not the first time Byung-yeon had carried her home after a long night of elegant turns and skips, but it had certainly been many years since he had done so.

“Do you still keep your bandages near the well?” Hye-ri nodded slightly in response. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

As soon as his back turned, Hye-ri buried her face in her palms. Why had he showed up so suddenly? Why was he taking care of her like they were twelve again? Why had she continued to think about the women in the palace, the ones who drooled over him like stray dogs hunting for meat?

When he returned with some shreds of fabric, he did not hesitate to take her swollen foot in his palm. Hye-ri pulled back in embarrassment, her leg stiff in the air. “You don’t need to-”

Byung-yeon pulled her foot back to him. “I’ve done this before. Why is now any different?” The bitterness from his tone was not well hidden.

He wrapped one foot completely in silence. Hye-ri was keeping her focus on the door, praying that her father did not come out to find the two so close in proximity. He would never stop taunting her after that. Every creak and groan of the night’s music made her jump slightly, until she was so nervous that she reached down and clasped her hand over Byung-yeon’s pale lips.

“Wait.” Her head turned towards the door. “Don’t speak.”

Byung-yeon’s eyes rolled downwards to look at her hand. The skin against his lips was rough, but softer than he had expected from a farmer’s daughter. There was something sweet about the scent flooding into his nose, as if she had been eating honey.

Letting her foot slip from his fingers, he instead put his hand up to hers. Peeling back each finger one-by-one, he eventually took her hand in his. She kept her head turned still, his eyes fixated on her like a hawk. “Kang Hye-ri.”

She spun her head around, their noses only centimeters apart. Neither of them moved back. Instead, her fearful eyes remained wide as she looked at him, their fingers still intertwined.

“Are they asleep?”

“...I-I think so.”

“Good.” He extended his hand.

Hye-ri in a short breath. “What are you planning, Kim Byung-yeon?”

He said nothing. Instead, his fingers waited patiently for her in the middle of the darkness. “You wanted answers, and now I’m going to give them to you.”

~.~.~.~.~.~

It seemed like the night fog was frozen over the village. Nothing stirred, and judging by the height of the moon, Hye-ri suspected it was well past midnight. Her small feet patted against the ground as silently as possible, her trail just short ofByung-yeon’s.

Something creaked in the distance, and fearful of being caught at night with a man, Hye-ri of course irrationally did the only non-sensible thing she could think of. She rushed ahead, her hand slipping into his palm from behind.

“What was that noise?"

Byung-yeon stopped to glance down at her. She was surprised to find he was smiling. “Your imagination.”

Embarrassed, Hye-ri let his fingers slip from hers. He reached forward a bit, making the pull last longer. “We’re almost there. Do you feel safe?” When he blinked, the shadows of his lashes cast over his face. She couldn’t find an answer. “Hye-ri, I would never put you in danger.”

“I know.” Her words were fast. “I know you wouldn’t; I’m just having a hard time accepting this.”

“I can’t make any promises about what’s going to happen to me once I bring you there,” he said softly. “This is against the secrecy of our group, but I’m doing it because you asked me to.”

I would probably do anything you asked of me.

Hye-ri looked surprised, her doe eyes sticking out in the grey of the night. “Taking me there is going to get you into trouble, right?” He nodded small enough that she nearly missed it. “You gathered the meeting for tonight. Why don’t I hide outside of the meeting place, and you converse with them about the missions of the group. Then I'll know if you’re lying.”

He began to walk again, their path leading closer to the edges of town. “That would seem like a redundant meeting. They already know what they’re fighting for.”

She picked up her pace to walk ahead of him. Turning her face to him, she kept the rhythm of the path whilst walking backwards. “But I don’t.”

He stopped, nearly crashing into her. Before she was sent flying backwards, he moved his hands around her back, pulling her hips into his. Her hands weakly fell onto his chest, their proximity too close for the second time that evening. Part of her pulled away, but Byung-yeon kept his grip.

“Kang Hye-ri,” he sighed. “You’re very frustrating.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“I’m going to the third house on the left. You’re going to wait outside.” Her eyes weakly flickered to his lips as he spoke. It was like he wasn’t Byung-yeon these days. He was suddenly a man, but her childhood memories forced her to think differently. “You can wait by the grain sacks in the back.” He lifted a high brow. “Understood?”

Hye-ri nodded. Her hands were still on his chest. There was a strong heartbeat hitting her fingertips, but she didn’t know who it belonged to. Byung-yeon’s hands were still wrapped around her back, the warmth of them flooding over her spine and up into her neck. She shook of the sensation, and him along with it.

“I understand.”

He had never heard her voice so soft before.

“Meet me back here.”

Hye-ri did as she was instructed. Byung-yeon also followed orders and asked his men about the group's future. It was all as he had said. They were there for the people. They were there to start rebellions that would force the public and the monastery into considering democracy.

The word itself seemed so foreign. Such a thing was said to exist in countries far, far away… Such a thing came about through the power of the people.

Would it be possible in Joseon?

When the mysterious men in black had gathered inside the hanok, the simple farmer’s daughter was prone to all of their rebellious secrets. She was also prone to knowing the dangers of their plans, and the consequences that would follow. Death was not something any of the men seemed to fear, which only made Hye-ri’s stomach churn into itself.

The thought of Byung-yeon dying was suddenly made clear to her. Her mind fast-forwarded to an imaginary date. She visualized herself cradling his head, blood spilling from his mouth. He was still wearing a uniform as if he had been a traiotr, his eyes open for one last glance at her. She was crying, her entire body sore from the racking against her lungs. The mere thought of it broke her even through her imagination, and she pressed a shaking hand against her lips to silent the tears that were already coming.

When the meeting ended, and the shock of Eunuch Han being the head of the organization passing through her memory, Hye-ri hesitated to meet Byung-yeon back at their previous location. She couldn’t rid her mind of the image of him on his deathbed, his admittedly handsome face swollen with blood and tears.

Byung-yeon spotted Hye-ri walking slowly from a few feet away. Her head was downwards, her eyes seeming to glance everywhere but him. He couldn’t place his finger on what in the meeting would have upset her in such a way, and he folded his arms over his chest to contemplate it.

“I did everything you asked me to. Now you’re sulking.”

Hye-ri stared at the faded parts of his boots. He had been training. They were much more worn than two weeks prior. “It’s nothing.”

“You’ve never been a particularly good liar.”

“I’m a fantastic liar. Thank you very much.”

He tried to say the next words as a joke, but they sounded like annoyance. “Do you remember when you tried to convince us that you didn’t have feelings for Kim Yoon-Sung?” Hye-ri’s eyes shot upwards, the memory something like an insult. There were unfallen tears dancing on her face, but he could see by the stains on her cheeks that she must have already let them fall. “You’re the most confusing woman I’ve ever met. I give you everything you ask for and now you’re crying.”

“Just how many women have you met?”

Byung-yeon’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. “Stop avoiding the topic.”

Hye-ri brushed past him. He was being too defiant for her to spill her heart out now. If she told him that she was worried, that she didn’t ever want him to die, how would he react? If he still taunted her about her past feelings for Yoon-sung, what would he make of her friendly concerns now?

“Hye-ri. Wait.”

“You gave me everything I asked for,” she mumbled over her shoulder. “I appreciate it.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Did you see me cry?”

Byung-yeon caught up to her side. “I’m not blind.”

Her feet stuck to the ground. Without looking at him, she let her words fly free. “I admire everything that you’re doing. Eunuch Han being the head of the rebellion group was somewhat comforting in a way. I know that you’re protected with him at your side. And yet, each of you welcomes death with open arms. You’re okay with dying.”

Byung-yeon blinked. “Of course. I’m a palace guard.”

Hye-ri puffed in annoyance. “Do you only ever think about yourself?”

“No, I-”

"Did you ever think that it would be hard for me knowing the outcome of your choices? That Lee Yeong couldn't go on without you by his side, whether we live in a democracy or not? I wish I never would have seen you in the alley and that we could all go on pretending that this doesn’t exist.”

“Then you would have thought I was a traitor.” His words were mumbled. “I wanted you to know. I trusted you to know.”

“I would never tell a soul. That’s why you trusted me.” Hye-ri said the next words with as much of a puffed out chest as she could manage. “I find it very difficult to know that you’re willing to die for this.”

“But you know me,” he said defensively. “You know that I don’t care about death.”

“I care.” Her breath turned into mist between them. It froze along with the rest of the fog. “I care about you dying, Byung-yeon.”

She moved ahead slowly, hoping that he would follow her with an explanation. “This is bigger than you and me.” She quickly realized it was not the explanation that she wanted. “We all die in the end. Sacrificing myself for something that I believe can change the course of Joseon history is something I would be willing to do.”

“I admire you for that,” Hye-ri said flatly.

“I thought you would.” He sounded like a boy again. “But you don’t seem happy.”

Hye-ri had finally reached the pathway leading up to her home. Not wanting him to follow her inside, she halted her shuffling feet. “What would possibly enthrall me about you dying?”

“I would do it for you.” His eyes looked completely lost. He was trying to scan her face for a more solidified answer, her happiness suddenly being the only thing he wanted. “Baekwoonhwe does everything for the people, for their children and for the future generations of Joseon.”

The thought of Hye-ri getting married and having children suddenly dawned on her. He was right. It was something that needed to happen soon, or it would never happen at all. She in a breath, chills breaking out all over her loosely covered body.

“You’re right.” Her voice broke against her will. “You would die for me, for my children… There’s nothing to be angry about. If anything, I should be proud of you. I am proud of you, but as your friend, I am feel sadness and doubt too."

Her words finally started to sound convincing, but now Byung-yeon felt lost. Hye-ri mentioning her children shook him to the core. His imagination began running away with him. The thought of another man caressing her. The thought of her lovingly playing and feeding her babies without him there to witness it. Without him there to be a part of it all.

“You should go back,” Hye-ri whispered. “I’m not angry with you anymore.”

Byung-yeon nodded. His thoughts were still stuck on unknown hands wrapping themselves into her soft hair.

“Byung-yeon.” She dropped her head to her shoulder, forcing a smile. “You’re somewhere else again.”

He stretched his back taller. “You’re not angry with me. I should go back to the palace.” He caught her eye briefly. “And you understand everything that’s happening.”

She nodded once. “You no longer have to hide from me.”

His heart flickered. There were still some things he found himself hiding. Things that touched on his feelings for her, which seemed to be moving somewhat far away from friendship. The way she danced, the way she kept herself focussed through the pain of it all, the way she cursed and muttered to herself in frustration… All of those traits had separately seemed unappealing, but they were what made up the only woman who had stayed by his side. The only woman who understood that when he didn’t speak it was not an attempt to be rude, but that he was lost in his own past and distant future.

One day, even if it came down to the last minute of his life, he no longer wanted to hide anything.