Dearest Jihyo,

I’m so overwhelmed now. Tomorrow is our last filming together. Our very last…

I remember in 2012, I made a rash decision of wanting to quit. But you guys held on to me. It was hard, holding on like that, but I swear to the Sun that I never regretted it.

It was the first time something mattered to me as much as music. When all of you held on to me then, I felt my world opening. Do you remember? You all came, one after another, to my studio, my house to ask me to stay. It was the first time I felt like I mattered. Really. And I am so thankful for that.

But Jihyo, you must know that above everything, I am a musician.

Jihyo yah… How can you be so in-tune with my feelings, even more than I am?

You’re right Jihyo. That part about me understanding the challenges of composing, and even about you taking away important things…?

I have been composing for more than 20 years now, if you include those days when I wasn’t famous yet. And I feel that now that I am getting older, I have written about all my experience and I have nothing left to write. I am afraid Jihyo. I am afraid that I won’t be able to compose anymore.

It scares me that I could and would lose this golden touch one day. Music is so important to me, Jihyo. Please don’t be annoyed when I say this. You must understand that in the hardest years of my life, I ate, breathed and slept music. I lived for music. It was and still is the reason for my existence, as much as it existed for me.

And Running Man…

I joined it as part of a business move. And before you start feeling indignant, can you take the moment to reflect- to see if you joined running man not for business?

How could we have joined for the fun and friendships, when we were mere strangers then? I believe that we joined with the hopes of using Running Man as a platform to gain wider audiences.

But while it gave me the fame, it confined me. With the fame, I had to watch my move. I couldn’t live as