The flat is filled with dead silence. We seat in the living room but don't talk to each other. I have my eyes fixed on mugs with tea which I prepared a moment ago. I seat in the armchair meanwhile my guest seats on the couch and stares at me. I don't let our eyes meet, I don't want it. I don't feel like looking and him and I don't want him to notice my bloodshot eyes. Each of his moves get my body uptight in fear of him coming closer but never actually doing so. I wander my gaze around the furniture, trying to focus on everything but not him. Yixing takes one of the mugs in his hand and lifts it up to his lips. Unconsciously I follow with my eyes the mug until I stop it at his lips. The lips which just few days ago I let kiss mine. I scold myself in my mind, taking the other mug in my hand nervously and drink a big sip, not minding the high temperature of the liquid. I frown slightly, resting the mug against my knee and hesistantly I shift my eyes to the guy who softly says my name.
"Baekhyun"
"What?" I sigh.
He sets the mug aside and moves closer on the couch to me. I watch his every move in the corner of my eyes. I'm pretty sure he's gonna try make me come to like him, remembering our quite long past, but I can't let him wrap me around his little finger. He hurt me and I have no intention of letting him do it again. I threw his stuff away from my life so now it's time for him. 
"I called you, I came here several times. Are you gonna get rid of me in your life without even letting me explain myself?" he asks.
"Yes" I answer and look him angry in the eyes "Besides, as far as I remember, you couldn't explain yourself because you were too busy looking for your pants in the pile of your clothes."
He frowns his eyebrows but ignores my words, sighing.
"Baekhyun, we've been going out for 4 years and you're just gonna end it?"
"Just end it?!" I stand up, throwing the mug aside. It doesn't break but the whole tea spills out on the floor. "You freaking cheated on me, Yixing! I found you with some stranger in our bed! Looks like it's you who there's something wrong with, since, as you said, after 4 years you are simply able to  someone else!"
I pant in anger and clench my hands. I look at him deeply hurt, now, since I said it all out loud, everything burns me even stronger. Not only skin, but the insides as well. We stare at each other, his tranquil gaze gets on my nerves. He acts as if nothing happens or as if it was certain that I'm going to forgive him as soon as he apologizes to me. I have no intention of saving those together spent years if for one of us they didn't mean a thing.
"You should go now." I say "Your stuff is somewhere in front of the building."
Zhang stands up only to kneel in front of me after a moment. I turn my eyes away and clench my teeth. 
"Yes, I cheated on you." he sighs, softly taking my hand in his, which he kisses softly with his lips. I take it away from him and cross my arms. "It was a one-time thing which meant nothing. He came to me and..."
"I don't care, Yixing." I look at him with such eyes to make him realize how badly he hurt me and that I don't want to think about it anymore.
He stands up, sighing heavily and takes perfumed jacket from the back of the couch.
"I'm leaving but don't think that I'm just gonna let you ruin this relationship, Baekkie" he says and leaves the flat next.
I slide down the armchair and clamp my eyelids tight. 
"You've done it already."


I wake up with a slight headache. My body has never reacted well to little amount of sleep and that's how it repays it to me. I put socks on my feet and stands up from bad, rubbing eyes with my fists.
It's weird to sleep in bed, in which you haven't laid down for a long while. 
I leave bedroom and notice a note under my feet. I look towards the main door and pick it up. I read what's written there, slowly blink and open the door. A quite bag lays on the doormat so I pick it up. I enter the kitchen and start unpack the groceries which Luhan bought for me. I am really thankful because otherwise I wouldn't have anything to eat again and would end up either hungry or in the bar downstairs. Today I prepare for breakfast some toasts and coffee and in the meantime, while the bread is slowly baking in the toaster, I turn on my phone and seat by the table. I look through all the notifications, which I received, most of them were missed calls and messages from Yixing. I delete everyhing and start reading messages from Luhan. He mentions the groceries, in case I wouldn't notice the note which he put under the bag. He asks how am I doing, if I talked with him and in the last one, he reminds me about today's party. I take out the toasts and start eating, wondering about friend's offer. I worry that I might meet there my ex. Lots of mutual friends and even more questions about why we didn't come togethere or why did we break up, in case it didn't spread yet. I sigh, writing new message and answer him to meet together on the spot. I have no idea if that's the right thing to do but I can always leave that place. No one can force me to stay there.
When I finish eating, I wash the dishes and go to take a shower. I spend long time there, once again trying to wash away the disgusting and burning feeling. I come to conclusion that neither shower gel or soap can help me get rid of it. I leave the cabin, wipe myself and my hair, then wear clothes. I choose black tight jeans with holes, loose t-shirt with a big printing. I stand in front of the mirror, doing a subtle eye makeup in order to reduce its reddening. When I finish, I put on my face cream with sun blocker and start drying up my hair. I lift them up, just like I like it these days.
I leave bathroom and go to the living room, making a call to my boss. I extend my sick leave without any problems. I put the device in my pocket and take an ped jumper out of the closet, which I wear immediately. I walk up the dresser, take the perfume in my hand and use it twice. I don't like to have too strong smell - perfumes should be nice to your nose, not killing. I crouch next to the small table, opening the drawer and take a wallet out of it, which I immediately put in my pocket. I take keys with me, wear the shoes and soon leave the flat, having no intention of coming here back before the party.
Just as I leave building, I direct my steps to the city center. Today is a quite nice, not rainy day. There's plenty of people on the streets, which makes me unconsciously look at the clock - it's almost 2pm. I still have some time so I walk into my friend's club. I look around for him, but I can't see him anywhere. I sit next to the bar and order a drink, I need to drink it in order to go to the party, because my feet won't take me there sober and I already promised it to Luhan. When I get the glass filled with transparent liquid, the room suddenly gets filled with a shout.
"On the house!" he shouts to which bartender nods his head and offers me an ashtray. "Baek doesn't smoke but I do."
My arms are hugged by someone's hand, after a moment squishing me slightly. I look at my friend as he sits down next to me and smiles, asking his employee for the same thing as I ordered.
"How's it going, Taehyung?" I ask, taking a sip.
It's sweet but there's nothing special to its taste. The guy raises his hand and takes from the man a box of cigarettes, from which he takes out one and ably lights it with a lighter, which he had in his pocket a moment ago.
"I'm fine but I've heard you broke up with that bastard." he murmurs, taking a drag on cigarette and exhaling the smoke in the opposite side than me.
I sigh heavily and nod my head.
"It turnt out like this, how do you know?" I peek at him fixing his dark blond hair and shrugging.
"He was looking for you here." he admits, taking a sip of the alkohol and tapping slightly his cigarette against the ashtray. "I asked him what happened and he admitted that you quarreled but I knew it's a big deal. Now I know it's indeed a break up."
" >Quarreled<" I snort and drink everything in one shot. I shake my hand, wiping my lips and chin with the back of my hand.
"I only tell you the way it was." he ensures me, taking a drag and after a moment, making small circles with the exhaled smoke. Each one was of a different size but also perfect in the same way.
I wave my hand because I really don't feel like talking about it. I want to take my mind off it but the talk about him or us was none of a help. I look around, it's quite empty but it's the fault of a quite early time for this place. There are only regular customers, which even I recognize. I could guess what would each of them order but I don't visit here often enough. I give back the empty glass to the bartender, making obvious I don't want more of it. Taehyung finishes his own drink in few sips and in the end smokes to the end the cigarette, putting it in the glass.
"Are you going to the party tonight?"
"I plan to." I admit, scraching my nape and point to the glass which bartender is putting to the dishwasher. "Basically that's why I'm here."
The guy laughs and nods his head.
"Let me guess... You don't wanna go but promised you would?"
"I think I use the promise as an excuse to go there." I admit.




I sit in a cab as I'm going in the direction of the place where the party is going on. It's past 8pm and I think it's a perfect time to arrive there. I message Luhan that I will arrive in few minutes and ask him to either pick me up outside or tell me where he's having fun. After a short while I get a message with a description of the place where he's staying at right now. I sigh and look outside the window, taking a good look around the neighborhood I know well. The party is organized here at least 3 times a week, although it's the weekend when there's the biggest amount of visitors. This time there was supposed to be even more of them.
I pay to the driver, wishing him a pleasant night and exit the cab. The house is two story, modern and located on a huge property, which is already filled with people. Music is playing really loud, to the point I'm wondering that none of the neighbors called the police yet. I enter through the gate and go toward the building, trying to avoid everyone, but there's too many of them, so sometiems I end up pushing my way through people or stepping on the grass. Someone gives me a plastic cup with beer but I leave it on one of the steps and enter the house. There's not less people than outside. I scratch my neck and go ahead, peeking into every room because I'm sure Luhan already went into some other place than the one he wrote me about. I stop for a moment in kitchen and take some cookies in hand. I enter the living room while eating them and wandering my eyes around the couches, pool table and people around me. My friend is nowhere to be seen, I wipe the crumbs from my lips and go through the door to the terrace and next to the back garden. I see a wooden but quite big arbour which has a small, covered windows. The lights are on in front of the door so I go there. In the meantime I text my friend some time in the row, asking him to let me know where he is. I sigh, not receving any answer, I stop and knock on the door, then open it. I peek my head inside and before I know it, I am dragged inside in a firm way. I cough confused, observing all the people and sigh in relief, recognizing one face. There's maybe six or seven people inside, everyone is sitting, drinking beer and listening to some better music from the phone than the one you can listen to from the speakers. I sit next to Luhan, taking beer away from his hand and take few big sips although I don't really like this type of alcohol. I give it back to him and wipe my lips.
"Do you even know what do you use phone for?" I ask. 
The guys opens his eyes widely, takes out his mobile from the pocket and looks at all the message notifications. I nod my head as he smiles apologetically.
"I didn't hear any sounds but you managed to found me without any problem" he says, smiling and reaches for a full cup of beer for me.
I make a grimace but take it without any word, inspecting with my eyes whole room and then people which were sitting there. He has to know at least one person since he came here and if he does, then I probably do as well. I wrinkle my nose as I don't recognize anyone.
"Do you know anyone here?" I whisper, taking a small sip.
The guy shakes his hand, tapping his fingers against the table on which they start laying out cards and making a huge house of them.
"No, but they listen to better music." he remarks, I snort quietly, amused as I agree.
I lean and sigh, taking sip after sip of disgusting, bitter alcohol. I observe as the card fortress is becoming bigger and then I shift my eyes to the door as they open. The person peeking inside is our friend and owner of the house. He enters, fixing his hair which is blue today.
"Oh, c'mon." he sighs, pointing to the table and then to me and my friend. "You guys here?"
He hit heavily the door against the wall and everything they built scatters on the table and floor. They groan indignant as two of us stand up and pass them. The guy exits the arbour with us and pats us on the shoulders, laughing that the party is here and over there there's a silent unseen society. He probably doesn't know those people himself, neither does he know what are they doing there.
We go inside the house after him and in the end go through the violet door on which there are many things written in various languages. I don't understand anything beside the Chinese, Japanese and English. We go downstairs where the light is on and from where you can hear the laughter. I hope he won't be trying one more time to convince us to do drugs, because personally it's no fun for me. We take left and enter a big room, which I have never seen although being a regular guest in this house. The floor is covered with a carpet which probably used to be white but now it's stained with many types of alcohol or blood, which was a result of some fight - Louie likes to brawl, especially when drunk. Walls were filled with photos from previous parties, in a corner of my eyes I notice myself on them. I have no idea who and when took it. We sit on the floor next to the small table because there's no more free space on the couch. The guy introduces us to everyone there, but I stop my eyes on one person, which comes down, carrying in his hand huge box, in which there are new cups and few bottles of various alcohol. Beer, vodka, colorful drinks and chasers. The guy is tall, has muscular arms and white hair.
"And this is Chanyeol." he waves his hand, pushing away one of the guests and taking his place.