Are you dazed? 멍하니

Glitches

It was mid autumn, 4.40 p.m.

   School started again, and teacher Jung began the first Korean class with a smile on his face. He walked in front of his class of twenty-three students and opened up a slender book. He tilted his bifocals over his beak of nose and peered at the page through them. "I'd like to do poem reading for today's class so make sure to turn to page eighteen," she announced.

   Some of the students groaned especially troublemakers like Jae and Taecyeon. Ignoring them, teacher Jung cleared his throat and began to read the first verse of the poem. He then told the students to read it out, voluntarily.

The Flower by Kim Chun-soo (1922-2004)

Before I called her name,
she was nothing
more than a gesture.

When I called her name,
she came to me
and became a flower.

Like I called her name,
will someone please call my name
that suits my light and fragrance?
I, too, long to come to her
and become her flower.

We all long to be something.
You, to me, and I, to you,
long to become a gaze that won’t be forgotten.

While teacher Jung listened, he was mesmerised by the poem. Not everyone was following the his class. 

   Front line was giving their best concentration towards teacher Jung. The other half of the class dozed off. The poem had fancy language and mostly it was hard to understand. So it felt fair for them to sleep during Korean class. Ten more minutes of hell. Jaebum had his head on his desk. His eyes ran all over the class. Teacher's Jung lecture became a rythem in his head. Others already slept, but he couldn't. His eyes were distracted by that one particular girl on his left, Jaemi. Apparently she was also laying her head on her desk.

"She's so..." He mumbled and smiled to himself.

   The school bell rang. Those who were deep in sleep quickly got up and pushed their stuff in their bags, ready to go home. "Don't forget, I want all of you to write your own poems and hand it in before this Thursday," shouted teacher Jung as the students head out from class. Jaemi packed her things nicely. "Let's go home," Jaebum helps her pack. "I'm on duty today. Wipe the windows. See," she pointed to her name on the duty rooster placed in front of the class. She then went to the toilet to wet the towels. Jaemi started doing her class chores.

   It was spotless clean. She was satisfied. Jaemi puts away all the cleaning utensils she has used. "I'm done. Let's go-" Jaebum was facing the window. Her eyes gazd on him. The wind was blowing his hair making it flow sideways. He was stunning. Without her knowing, she was smiling as she watches him spaced out. He waited for me. 

   Looking at him was a pleasurable sight for Jaemi, somehow. She then felt something strange. Her vision temporarily blanks out, her body feels like it jerks, and her brain feels like it  does a flip in her head. It felt like gears getting jammed and then unjammed. All so quick. She closes her eyes, clutch her fists. Jaemi tries to not make a sound. She has been through this recently after Jaebum broke off ties with Yoona. She was glitching. It usually lasts a split second. Sometimes, she'd get pixelated vision, and lose her balance for that split second.

   A few sconds later it stopped. Jaemi took a deep breath. She glanced at Jaebum to make sure he didn't notice her glitching. He didn't. "I should ask master what's happening to me," she whispered to herself. Her eyes set back on Jaebum by the window. 

   She shook her head slowly. Jaemi could feel something burning insed of her. "Park Jimin, please don't love him." Her hand held her chest. Jaebum turns his head to her. He smiles. 

***

   They walk side by side, heading to the bus stop. "Today was fun," Jaemi started the conversation. "Did you listened to teacher Jung's poem lesson today?" She hopped as if she was an eight year old getting her christmas present. "I thought you were sleeping." Jaemi snickers at him. "I read the poem sideways." She skipped leading the walk. "What about it?"

"How could someone want to be a flower to someone else?" She asks him. Then laughed. "Oh I forgot, you slept in class so you probably didn't even hear the poem we learnt today."

"The poem is about being recognized and acknoledged by others." He smirks and walked ahead passing her who stopped her steps. "Looks like I payed more attention in class," he sneers her.

"But-" She catches up his step.

   When he notices her steps matching his, he stops and turns to look at her. Jaemi's eyes widened, shuts. He's an attractive looking guy, she thinks as she stares up into his gorgeous dark brown eyes before a smile appears which caught her off guard. 

   "Hey." Both of them looked to the voice. A gang of three guys approaches them. Jaebum turned to walk away and takes Jaemi by her hand. "Is this how you greet an old friend?" one of the guy who was leading at the front said. Jaemi makes eye contact with the guy. Lee Seong hwa, nickname Gray, 5'6'',  black hair, from another school, troublemaker. Dean, Loco behind.

   Jaemi knows his intentions and it was something bad. "I don't know you." Jaebum replied and got hit directly right on his right cheek. She knew he was hurting as he tightens his grip on her. "He claimed he does not know you. Why bother?" She defended him. Gray glared at her and smiled. "You got the balls to have a girlfriend now? I thought you were a sissy. Did he pay you? Tell me." Gray paused and reads her name on her badge. "Jaemi," he scoffed. Jaebum grabs Gray by the collar of his white uniform; he shook him and glared into his eyes.

   "You can hit me or mock me but not her!" he yelled angrily, "Was it not enough for you to make me change schools? I even nearly got to prison because of you!" Jaebum's eyes were red. "I saved your father while you did nothing. His loss is not because of me. If you want to put a reason for his death, then its you-" 

   His words were cut off as his grip on his collar was lost as he was taken in a firm grip on his right arm and dragged backwords.  Jaemi held onto his right arm tightly so he wouldn't jump on Gray like he did. Jaebum was breathing heavily, his eyes were still fixed on Gray even after Jaemi pulled him backwards. Gray's face was in embarassment.

Five years ago he and Jaebum were neighbours in the same hometown. They were not close but Jaebum was friendly towards his father. His own dad treasures Jaebum and that made Gray disgust him. As the biggest bully in school, Gray bullies Jaebum. It was fun for him as Jaebum was a good boy, he never told him off. One night Gray and his gang played gas down the basement and his clumsiness took the whole house on fire. He and his gang got out safely through the backdoor but he left his father inside. Gray was terrified to go back in. Jaebum saw the burning house and called the firefighters. He saw Mr. Lee, Gray's dad, trying to open up a window from upstairs. Bravely, Jaebum goes in the house to save Mr. Lee. When he gets out with Mr. Lee, he was already gone and that's when Gray accused him as the person who started the fire and murdered his father. But the courts have proved Gray wrong.

   "Stop putting the blames on others. Stop hating on me." Jaebum said. His eyes were pooled. "Mr. Lee, loves you more than he favors me." Gray's eyes trembled as Jaebum said that. His hands balled into fists. Jaemi looked in Jaebum's eyes from the side. "Jaebum is sorry for not telling you this much more earlier," she read his mind. Gray then took a step back. He glanced at Jaemi then to Jaebum and turns to leave. "Hey," she calls the three of them. "Shouldn't you pay for his damage?"

   Jaebum turn his head to her. His eyes widened. Is she in the right state of mind to call up a gangster again after they have just turned away, he was thinking. Gray took out money from his pocket and hands it to Dean. Dean hands it to Loco. Loco then walks back up to Jaebum. "Here." Jaebum looks at the money and took a look at Gray. He refused taking the money. "Tell him i'm okay-" "Thank you." Jaemi snatched away the money and slid it in Jaebum's pocket coat. She then waves to the three. 

***

Samgyetang, whole chicken soup feasts for dinner.

   "It's going to be winter soon, why samgyetang honey?" Mr. Im pulls a chair to sit. The wife placed it in the center of the dining table. Soon, all four of them gathered. Read their prayers and dines. "What happened to your face son?" Jaebum thought he could cover it with compact powder, guess not. "Gray punched him," says Jaemi then stuffs a spoonful of rice in . He puts his chopsticks down. How could she say things emotionlessly, he thought. She sensed him wanting to leave the table so Jaemi quickly saved the situation. "Accidently punched him."

   The couple looked at their son,worried. "They hugged and Gray's fist accidently flung on his cheek. They both are in good terms. No worries," she continued. Jaebum nods, agreeing with her story to make his parents stop giving him the look. Jaemi then burst into laughter too lighten up the mood. "Today we learnt a poem by Kim Chun Soo." She changes the subject. "Tell me is that the only thing you have learnt all through 8 to 12 hours of school?"

   Mrs. Im pours in tea for herself. "Let me guess, flower?" The two nodded. "I like that poem. Don't you sweetie?" She asks her husband who was busy indulging his food. "Flour yes. It is a nice poem," Mr.Im's voice was unclear. His mouth was full with rice. His wife glares at him. He coughs trying to clear his throat. He knows she wants him to explain to the kids. So he opened his mouth, "Flour...flour is a poem about white-" "White?" Mrs. Im clearly realizes her husband is not a poetic person. While Mr.Im thought it was a peom about flour instead of flower he misheard.

   "Whiteness of the flour. It can make bread-" Rice flew out his mouth. His back hurt. "I guess I read the wrong poem. Please spare me Mrs. Im." The two giggled. But it didn't last long when Jaemi screamed, "Cockroach!" The females climbed on their chairs. "Where? Where is it?" Mr. Im was anxious. "Dad there's something moving under the table."

   Instead of being a hero, Mr.Im jumped. He pushed his chair backwards. "I see it!" He claims and shakes Mrs. Im's arm. "Do not shake me. I repeat do not shake me. If i fall you are dead meat mister." She scolds him. Everyone was alert. "Honey get the newspaper or a book." "No you do it. You're the man in this house." He looks to his son. "What?" He signs him to kill it. "What the eff it's flying!" Jaemi hold onto Mrs.Im's shoulders. It flew towards them but then drops down to the floor. "That's an inappropriate word," Jaebum said to Jaemi. "It is a very suitable word to use right now. Could someone kill that beast already??" She cried. "Im Jaebum!" Both his parents called out his name.

***

   After the chaos over a cockroach, the house returned to normal. "It's me." Jaemi opens Jaebum's room door after he welcomes her in. "Can I use your laptop for school work?" Her voice was flat but she could be heard hesitating at the end of her sentence. "Sure." He handed her his laptop. She then leaves after saying thank you. 

   'Why would she need a laptop?' Jaebum got goosebumps. She's going to jump back in the laptop, his mind made a crazy thought. Before he knew it, his legs were running to her room. It was not locked. "Jaemi don't..." He barged in. She looked at him, surprised. The look on her face was clearly asking him, what's wrong. It was kinda awkward.

.

.

.

.

.

   "I urm...had this crazy idea." He stand against her door, crossing his arms. "You won't go in the laptop like jump in my laptop and well...disappear,right?" His question was very weird it just added up the level of awkwardness between them. "I already told you I won't return until I hook you up with someone." He nods to her answer but he didn't leave her door yet. As if he was waiting for her to say something. She watches his feet playing on the floor, his eyes wondering all over her room and his hands trying to stay put. "Are you scared of losing me?" She suddenly asks him.

   Jaebum fixed his eyes back on Jaemi.

.

.

.

.

.

"You scanned me without my permission again." He didn't gave her the exact response but she already knew his answer. "Haven't you kept in mind that you cannot scrutinize me unless I allow you so?" "Then haven't you kept in mind that I will only return home after you fall in love?" Both of them tight-lipped. Not knowing who will talk afterwards they then accidently opened their mouths at the same time;

"I know."

   Jaemi glitches. His expression changed. "Don't worry. It happens sometimes," she smiled at him looking very serene about it. Nothing more to talk with him, Jaemi decided to go back to what she was doing. Although she wanted to ignore him until he leaves her alone, she couldn't resist noticing him in the corner of her eye. "Goodnight,Jaemi." She pulled her drawer and reached a hansaplast and approached him. "Here," she shows it to him. Jaebum wanted to take it but she swayed her hand to the other side. "Can I do it?" 

   Without a lot of thoughts, he lowered his head and turn to his left showing his right cheek to her. Jaemi had trouble getting the white paper to tear off. Her nails were too neat. Jaebum noticed and touched her busy hands. She glitches again. It was now ready to be used. She'd leaned forward as she studied his face. Gently she sticks it on the scar on his face. He gazed at her for quite a long time. Her eyes accidently met his. Without realizing their lips were less than three inches apart. She sensed danger.

   Danger. Before she knew what was going to come, Jaebum faced her directly. He lifted a hand and touched her hair. He watches her reaction. She didn't flinch nor say anything. As she was busy thinking to herself what type of danger she sensed, Jaebum made a move on her.

     Something happened inside her chest. A fluttering. She recognized it. She'd felt the same sensation everytime he'd touched her way far in the future and even being in the past right now nothing had changed. The time fell away and her brain was suddenly sending her screen shots of all her and Jaebum's good times in the future; which were she belonged.Then Jaebum pushed back his fingers through her hair and pushed all thoughts out of her head. They locked eyes.

   She was still sane and she finally understood what danger meant. Quickly she pulls her face to reach his lips. "I can't," she murmured and kissed him lightly. Jaemi then backens away from him. She lead the kiss this time so he'd probably forgotten what just happened. Jaebum collapsed but she managed to hold him. He then gain conscious after three seconds. "Goodnight..." She closes her door before he could say anything.

   The laptop was on. She sat in front of it with mixed feelings. Jaemi typed and sent a message to someone:

Jaemi:Master, can I ask you a question?

Master:Of course, Jimin.

Jaemi: I am aware that I am a clone. Is it an error if I am having the same memories as the real Park Jimin?

Master: No,its not an error. You are identical.

Jaemi: Why am I glitching?

Master: Oh no Jimin...You don't say you have-

Jaemi: What happens if I am the one to break the rules? Master, will I be eliminated?

Master: I sent you through time to help myself find another girl before I end up with you because I don't want to go through those dark days when I lost you in the tragic accident again. If you and my dear old self break the rules the effects will occur on you, Jimin. You will glitch. It is not a good sign. You will disappear and all of this will be for nothing.

Jaemi: When you lost me, what did it feel like?

Master: Empty...You were the world to me Jimin. My best friend, my second mom, and my wife. I can't even decribe it in words. Jaemi...Jimin, lets not hurt him (Jaebum) . I don't want him to carry this pain. 

Jaemi: So you have sent me to help your old self to love someone else and not be ended up with me. Am I wrong?

Master: You are absolutely right.

Jaemi: Then you were mistaken. Fate,destiny and love is something you cannot change even in the past or present. He (Jaebum) loves me. His eyes are afraid of losing me. Master even if you made a hundred clones of Park Jimin, you'd end up loving me all over again. So stop this game of yours and reset everything. 

Master: Its not under my control anymore. You and my old self rules the game.

Jaemi: When you said I'd disappear if I glitched is it not a good sign? I'll disappear and things will be back to normal. I'll still remain in your future.

Master: Jimin, you'll disappear forever. Glitching will make your existence like it never happened. I can't let you vanish.

Jaemi: You do not want me to vanish? I thought you wanted me to disappear from your life. Was it not how you planned it to be? Not bumping into me? Your words clearly said that you regretted loving me, earlier ago.

Master: No I've never-

Jaemi: Your past needs me. He kissed me. You kissed me. He embraced me. I played the game, even if I knew he flunk all his dates I setted up for him because of me. Imagine how much feelings he had to hold in just to not break the rules. I love him. I love you Im Jaebum.

   She stops typing. She has never called master by his name. She then continues.

Jaaemi: Maybe I'd die in the future but not now. I don't want him to feel lost like how you felt losing me that day. So-

Master: Return to me.

   Jaemi eyes widened. She was speechless. Her eyes pooled. Her vision on the laptop was blurry. How could love be so cruel? How could master do this to himself? How dare he rolled the dice and played the game of fate. If he knew he'd not be able to live without thinking of her, why did he not just accept her death? It makes no sense at all. Jaemi felt it was right for her to not leave Jaebum who bravely kissed her after holding the feels for a long time. If she leaves the past Jaebum, wouuldn't he be at a loss like he(master) is right now? He'll regret. Jaemi broke out in tears. Her hands were cold. She felt the world's cruelty.

Master: If you stay and love him, you'll end up glitching and die. Jimin he'll not just lose you just in the past but forever. And I don't want that. I want you to exist in this world, my world. Jimin you were right, even if I wanted to change my fate I can't lose all the happy memories with you. I'm a fool. I shouldn't have started this. So please, return to me and everything will reset.

   The screen went pitch black. Return and things will be back to normal. What could it possibly mean when things will reset? She thought to herself. The only way to get home is by hooking up Jaebum with another girl. How can she even do that when she's in love with him? How?

   

 

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hyunJ_
I'm so happy to complete this ff. I love and support got7 and Jimin 15&. And of course i really ship Jb and Jimin. Hashtag please, please respect my otp xoxo~

Comments

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ItsMeYouLike
#1
Chapter 8: This is by far the best jamie(jimin) X jaebum(jb) story that l have read . The story line was great not to mention the built up and emotions that were portrayed. Thank you
Iluvlipsticks #2
Chapter 8: Sniff sniff waaaahhh just dropping hints.. like any day now jaebum lol but thank you I've been so busy with school and finally done yay!! And finally got to read the last chapter! It's such a great story I wish one day they can be a real couple! Thank you hope to read more of your tics if ever any about the two again! Idk I just love their ships. Lol thanks
policeperson #3
this is so well written and satisfying! i enjoyed the sorry a lot
Iluvlipsticks #4
Chapter 7: Thank you! Can't wait for next chapter!
eyegot7 #5
Chapter 7: i'm crying. how did you get jb's gif w tears in his eyes.omg. this ff sounds so real. my jaemin feels. i really like chap 7 please update soon!!
Iluvlipsticks #6
Chapter 6: Omg I'm so hook on this story please update soon!! Love it so much!!