Jaehyun wakes up with a heavy headache, again. For these past few days, he's been constantly having a really painful headache, sometimes followed by the morning sickness.

Jaehyun walks slowly to the kitchen as he massages his temples, puling out a bottle of cold mineral water from the fridge to clear his mind, then walks back to his bedroom and throws himself on the bed.

Jaehyun closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. He’s lucky this morning he doesn’t get the morning sickness, but he feels fatigue, as if he has no energy left.

He’s wondering why he feels like that. Is it because of his alter ego? What his alter ego had done to make him feeling the side effects?

Jaehyun opens his eyes, lifts up his arms, inspecting. There isn’t any bruise nor any cuts.

He brings his fingers up to trace his face. There isn’t any sting sensation anymore on the corner of his mouth, there’s no drained blood, and his face looks perfectly fine aside of the swollen face, eye-bags, and the dark circles which are just indicating the lacks of sleep.

He has no memory of the night before, like usual. Not only since last night actually, but also since the last afternoon. He can’t remember what he had done after spending his time at the library to do his assignments. He doesn’t remember walking back to the apartment. He’s curious who took over his consciousness at that time.

Jaehyun reaches out for his phone, slides his thumb to unlock the screen, then gasps loudly as his eyes widen. “No way…” He mutters, dumbstruck as he looks at the time and the date.

Jaehyun shakes his head. “No... no way….” He keeps enchanting his disbelief, wishing it’s only a dream. His heart is racing fast as he presses his therapist’s numbers.

“Jaehyun ssi?”

As soon as Jaehyun hears Kim Jae Joong’s calming voice, he starts rambling. “I thought I only lost a night like usual, or maybe a few days like how it has been for these past few months, but this time turns out I’ve lost… 5 weeks. How could that possible?! It’s too long. I’m scared. Did I… meet you? I mean, Jay? Jaeyook? White? Yoonoh?”

“Yes. I met White and Yoonoh. I don’t know about Jay and Jaeyook since they never came to the therapy sessions last month, but based on White and Yoonoh’s condition, I guess Jay had been taking control most of the time. Seems like he had the fight a lot. Then I didn’t hear from any of your alter egos for these past 10 days. I’ve been keep coming back to your apartment to check on you but you’re always not at home.”

Jaehyun heaves a deep sigh. “I’m at home right now.”

“How do you feel? Are you alright?”

Jaehyun nods. “I’m alright, just the usual headache. I can’t believe I’ve lost myself for more than a month! Is it a bad sign?”

“It is. Jaehyun, I know the hypnosis process is a torture for you….”

Jaehyun closes his eyes, his breathing uneven. Ever since his therapist did the hypnosis to dig into his unconscious recollections, he feels like his world crumbles down. The hypnosis let him remember a lot of horrible things that at first he was certain he never had any of those, but now he’s not sure anymore which one is real and which one is not.

Some of the memories are really familiar, because he knows he’s been dreaming about it some times ago. Those nightmares, which at first he thought only the nightmares turn out to be memories.

“Jaehyun, I know you hate it. But what Yoonoh said last month makes me worried. We have to explore a lot of information about your past, so I can think of the best treatment for you. Jae, safely express and process your painful memories are the part of the therapeutic process. You’re brave, Jae. I believe you can do it. I believe in you.”

Jaehyun sighs. “Ok. I’ll come over to your clinic later. I have the midterm exams this week. My study might be not important for Jay and the others, but it is really important for me.”

“Alright. Please be careful, and please don’t take the bus.”

“W-why?”

“Yoonoh said something related to your past. I’m afraid taking a bus would trigger Yoonoh. He had remembered many things, and had been trying to harm himself.”

Jaehyun wants to ask further about Yoonoh to Jaejoong, but he have to hurry if he doesn’t want to miss the class.

After he ends the call, he’s scrolling through the history page on his phone’s browser. He had lost his own consciousness for 5 weeks, but right now his phone is fully charged. So, he’s sure someone (his alter ego) must’ve been using his phone. He knows Jaeyook has his own phone. And Jay likely will never borrow Jaehyun’s phone since Jay is too secretive and has been openly stating that he hates Jaehyun.

White? Could White use the phone?

Yoonoh? What had he remembered? Why did he try harming himself?

Jaehyun’s eyes widen as he reads through the browser’s history page.

10 Effective Ways to Kill Yourself Without Leaving Any Traces.

Is There Any Method So You Will Not Feel Any Pain When You Kill Yourself?

Let’s Join Us and Die Together!

The Best Suicide Group. Meet Us at….

Jaehyun suddenly feels nausea. He doesn’t continue reading the titles of each site.

Yoonoh has been attempting the self-harming.

Yoonoh has been searching many ways to kill himself. Yoonoh didn’t know that if he killed himself, he also would kill Jaehyun.

Jaehyun is shaking. Cold sweats all over his palms.

Why? Why did Yoonoh try killing himself? What had Yoonoh remembered? Does Yoonoh’s memories are more painful and scarier than Jaehyun’s memories? Or actually they share the same memories?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *********** ~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s 5 pm now, and Jaehyun has an appointment with his therapist at 7.30.

Jaehyun couldn’t focus on his exams today as his mind was wandering on Yoonoh. He wishes Yoonoh could know his existence like Jay and Jaeyook did. Jaehyun doesn’t understand why his therapist never letting Yoonoh and White know anything about Jaehyun, or letting Jaeyook know about Jay. Why does his therapist never let him talk to Jay, Yoonoh, and White like what he had done to Jaeyook?

Jaehyun is walking to the library now, deciding to study there instead of at his apartment. Jaehyun knows Jay hates books. Jay would never make an appearance at the library. Letting Jay take control over his body and his consciousness is the last thing he would do at this moment. Once Jay takes control, it’s hard to shift back unless Jay wanting it. Jaeyook, Yoonoh, and White’s disappearance could be triggered by something, such as how White would disappear when he sees flames or whenever the weather is too hot; and how Yoonoh would disappear when his surrounding is too di