The stairs felt cold under my soles as the warmth Jimin gave me was leaving my body, allowing the darkness to stick to me, cover me with the coldness of my immortality. When I reached the top of the stairs, I realized I was holding in my breath, my lungs blocked, dead and trembling in the shock brought over by Namjoon’s words that were still echoing inside my head, mostly because he was still thinking - no, feeling them. There, in the darkness hidden by the last door which separated Namjoon from what he once had, a comfortable house with friends around, I shivered as he poured himself into me. Thought by thought, he filled my head with blinding darkness and piece by piece, his soul snuck next to mine, filling the tight place in between my ribs, completing the process of my creation.

And when I stepped into the light of the first floor I knew that the bond was now complete. I was him and he was I in ways that go beyond any philosophy and myth. I was his and he was mine. Yet, why did my feet carry me back into my room? Why did my arms reach beneath the covers to touch Jimin’s sleeping body? Why did my lips look for his? Why did I long for his life pouring into my frozen body?

***

The days that came went by just as fast. I was ecstatic, as if my body and mind on drugs, I was less and less willing to leave the confinement of my room, Jimin’s warmth. Sure, was great and the thirst was there, but it wasn’t just that. Now I realize that it was more than just his touches, more than just his smile and attention he was giving me. It was the way I was resurrected when I was with him, the way I felt more like my past self, my human self slowly merging with my vampire side, allowing me to understand the chaos that was building inside of me to the size of a hurricane threatening to make things go upside down. And with Jimin’s arms wrapped tightly around me, I was able to keep everything still.

“Are you planning to leave with the fae?”

“I’d be nice if you’d at least knock before entering,” I didn’t mind Yoongi and continued drying my hair, not minding my ness just like he wasn’t.

“Are you going to leave with him?” He asked again, his flat voice tone going up just a tiny bit. But enough to make me stop and look at him using the mirror in front of me.

“What’s this about?” The coldness I had kept under control was slowly creeping out, crawling through my voice.

“This is about Namjoon! This was always about Namjoon! I brought you here to save him and yet you’re just saving yourself,” his fists were clenched despite his calm demeanor. “You know, that fae will kill you one day.”

“Excuse me?!”

“You haven’t learned how to hunt, you haven’t fed yet, you know nothing about how a vampire should live,” he enumerated on his long fingers, his words pulling stakes through my heart. “In this situation you are just a human with vampire strength, an easy target for the others. Don’t think that just because I’m nice, we’re all the same.”

“I kind of figured that out after meeting the little monster. Thanks for pointing out the obvious though,” I calmly resumed my combing, although fuming on the inside. The chaos inside was swirling, twisting, turning, creeping out slowly.

“Save Namjoon before you lose it, Ha Young,” was all he said before throwing me a sad look and disappearing just like he came. Back then I remember blaming him for perturbing my already precarious equilibrium. But that was a lie. Because it was simpler to just blame Yoongi for the need that drew me to the basement of the house.

“You reek of that inferior being.”

“And you reek of hunger,” I settled for a grimace, trying to ignore the chains and ribs, his flesh that had turned a translucent grey. Everything hurt: my heart, my head, my eyes, his broken heart, his entire body. But somehow I found the strength to cross my legs under me and sit directly on the floor while looking straight at him. His ribs were showing through the thin layer of flesh embracing them, his fangs were showing their tips against the lower lip while his long claws that could no