I remember darkness. I remember loneliness and a void inside my chest. I remember everything that I knew being wiped off as if with a sponge. And then nothingness. Nothing kept me linked to my past, all my ties were suddenly severed and I was left hanging in the darkness of the void with no strings attached. Everything was so much clearer, the human emotions reduced to bare social skills developed by a sleeping animal. I was the animal and I was awakening.

I remember feeling cold and the understanding of the darkness suddenly surrounding me. And I fell and fell and fell. It felt endless – my falling. And the more I fell, the less human I felt, the I understood my past emotional self. My fall brought me loneliness and darkness as my human self was vanquished, leaving space for the awakening animal. The clarity of what lain ahead of me was confusing.

In this world, people base their life on relationships and human interaction on different levels. Being cut free of all of those… it left an emptiness I could not fill with what I knew was to come. I was tied to a maker, yes, but it wasn’t a relationship based on feelings or emotions, but on association and some kind of subordination. It was a lonesome road I begged for with my last human breath, fearing death too much to see that the change I was asking for in the line of my destiny was far worse than death itself…

I remember falling for what seemed like ages, eons passing me by in the darkness that held me hidden as a single silver tie was reaching for me. It was calling my name, bringing me back into the light of the lifeless path I personally chose. So, blindly, I reached out for the silvery dot hovering in front of me and captured it in my fist, hiding its blinding light so I could fall more. That was my only act of cowardice; curled up in a ball I reached the speed of light towards more darkness which awaited right below. I had to put more distance between the past me and what I was becoming because I knew my human part will eventually be still there, just hidden, always watching, always waiting…

Then I opened my fist and let the blinding small light pull me out. It was done.

***

The dry air and its smell of enclosure made me open my eyes suddenly. I was lying down on a bed, facing the white ceiling above. Breathing out of reflex I felt a funny smell, like wet tree bark and moss.

“Welcome back, Kwon Ha Young”

“Why are you here?” I frowned, recognizing Yoongi’s voice. “I wasn’t expecting a welcoming committee, but at least he should’ve been here. He has a lot of explaining to do.”

“Everything will be done in time, don’t worry. I needed to see how the newest member of the family is doing. It’s kind of my duty,” he stood up from his seat in the corner of the room and approached me. “Don’t you hear the fae’s heart pumping fresh blood through his veins?” His smirk was provoking me. “Don’t you smell his intoxicating perfume? Aren’t you tempted? Hungry for his blood?”

“I wouldn’t hurt someone innocent,” I hissed, jumping off the bed. “If you’re here to annoy me, you’re doing a great job.”

Then something changed about him. His posture was no longer that of a wicked temptation whisperer and looked taken aback by my coldness. “I was hoping your human side would resist the transformation. It’s a shame, really.”

“Why?”

“Because Namjoon really needed that humanly strength. He has the vampire one. He needed a human.”

I shrugged. “The mistake is on his side. Where are the others?”

“Lurking around here, waiting for you,” Yoongi gestured towards the door, looking slightly annoyed. “Especially that fae. He’s been here daily since your transformation began two months ago.”

“Two months?” I frowned. My falling didn’t seem that long. The darkness hadn’t kept me out for that long. “That can’t be right. I went to Namjoon last night.”

“No, that happened two months ago. You should’ve woken up after two days or so. The fae was worried you wouldn’t wake up. He worries for such trivial matters,” Yoongi frowned again, as if bothered by Jimin’s attention.

“Why isn’t my maker by my side? Isn’t he supposed to take care of his new-born?”

Again, Yoongi’s posture changed. He looked displeased, even angry. “Let’s say he has issues to deal with. And it’s better that I’m here since I’ve been longer in the business than him. Now, shall we test you?”

“Test?”

“Let’s see if you’ll eat your companions or not,” he laughed, unlocking the door. It was like opening the kitchen’s door when someone’s cooking your favourite meal inside. It smelled like freshly baked cupcakes and steaming chicken soup, waffles and soy milk. I found myself my lips and got scared. It was luring me out, calling for me. So I grabbed on Yoongi’s arm and  closed the door.

“I don’t want to hurt them and become monster. Tell them to leave,” I hissed, blocking my airways.

“Oh, don’t be like that. What will you do when you’ll have to walk among humans? Kill them all? Here we go!” He just pulled me out of the room, forcing me to follow him down the corridor and the stairs, closer and closer to the magnificent smell.

The house was silent and probably if I had a heart it would have been skipping beats. But instead of that I got even colder, trapped my fear so it wouldn’t reach me while making a plan just in case I would’ve gone ballistic.

“Are you ready?” We stopped in front of a door. The heat coming through the wood was almost like standing next to a fire.

“Do I have a choice?”

“I’m afraid not,” he laughed and opened the door, revealing a warm and welcoming room I hadn’t seen before. Spacious, it served as an office and library at the same time. Everything invited to calmness of the mind and heart. That until my eyes fell on Jimin who was reading on one of the armchairs. And on Taehyung at the window. And on Seokjin near the fireplace. And on Hoseok playing one of hi