I remember that during my teen years I went gaga after Twilight. This one passage where Bella realized that everything she had lived, saw and heard with her human eyes and ears was foggy, unclear compared to how clear and easy everything seemed through her vampire eyes remained with me through the years. And strangely, it was the first thing that appeared in my mind when I opened my eyes that night.

It was confusing: why was the forest so brightly shining in the darkness, why was the soft breeze ticklish on the back of my head, why did my body feel so strong all of a sudden. There was no nausea feeling cuddling inside of me, nor pain throbbing somewhere at the back of my head. Inside of me my heart was beating rapidly, as if I was running a marathon. And outside of me a miracle was spreading its wings right under my eyes. I no longer understood my fear of the darkness that was now warm and welcoming, illuminated by the stars as if billions of suns were all awake at the same time. Even the air seemed different, dense, its taste reminding me of wilderness, of moss and melting snow at he same time.

Sincerely, I didn’t want to face it at first. I let my mind be taken over everything unraveling before me. I let my eyes open and cast away my blindness. I let my ears catch on the footstep sounds of a wildling somewhere far, far away into the forest. I let my body feel weightless on my feet and my fingertips touch the particles of dust that shone like stardust in the moonlight. I let it all overwhelm me because I didn’t want to put my hand on my neck and check the biting marks left there, I didn’t want to start believing that I was going to be a character like in Twilight. So, instead of my neck, my hand looked for the phone, a relic I had taken with me because, well, we youngsters can’t really stay without technology, not even when we go to die in the woods.

“You’ve got to be kiddin’ me!” I mumbled, noticing the date on the screen. It showed a different date which meant I had been sleeping or passed out for roughly four days. In the same spot. In the same position. And yet nothing hurt, nothing was stiff. I hoped that it was some sort of bad dream, that it was something caused by medication. Now my hand darted for my neck. I needed a confirmation.

And nothing. There was nothing. No pain, no coagulated blood, nothing that could have explained at least something that was happening.

‘Now what?’ I asked myself, my rational side winning over the shock.

***

It was too easy – traveling by foot was incredibly easy and I could have walked for days without even sweating or sleeping that much. And when I stopped to sleep I would fall into colourless dreams of shadows pressing against me, mumbling inaudible words. I wouldn’t call them nightmares because there was some sort of familiarity in the way the shadow leaned in over and over again without a sound, covering me with its warmth. And each time it became easier to feel its warmth going through my clothes and reaching my skin. But I’d wake up before the shadow could say or do anything else. It was frustrating as hell! It took all of my thoughts and shut them in a box, making itself at home. I was so frustrated by the fact that I couldn’t figure out where the heck was I supposed to go or at least do or understand what was happening to me (because let’s be honest here, vampires do not exist!) that I didn’t even notice I had run out of food and water. Nice one, right? You’d think I’d be hungry… or at least hungrier. But it completely slipped my mind. Until one night when a hare crossed my path, scaring the out of me. The poor animal triggered something in me, something like a hunger and a deep trill, something that made me hold my breath and drop my backpack. Everyone knows hares are difficult to catch even by hunters with traps and guns. I knew that. However, there I was, chasing the animal at a speed I had never reached before, somewhere around the speed a bike can reach, forcing it to go in circles till we got back to where I had left my backpack lying on the dry leaves from last year.

“I won’t hurt you,” I stared into the hare’s eyes, millimetrically approaching him. It wasn’t a fabulous animal, but a frightened one. Its nose was twitching wet, his eyes fixing me with fear and distrust. His ears were fixed on hearing me move… but they didn’t. Neither did I hear my feet move until I woke up with my fingers wrapped tightly around its long ears. That’s when my ears caught on a different sound, a sound like the beating of a heart. Not believing my ears, I stared at the animal in my grip. There was no mistake that I was hearing its heartbeat loud and clear as if I had pressed my ear against its chest. And suddenly there was a second one, louder, more powerful, a steady heartbeat.

“Are you going to stare at it or get it ready for dinner? God knows I’m hungry as heck!” The voice followed the heartbeat a second later.

“This is my hare!” I surprised myself with a deep growl, like that of a threatened dog or wolf. “And I’ll rip off your head if I catch you anywhere near it! Mine!”

“Hey, hey, calm down,” the dude raised his hands as if surrendering, “I get it, it’s yours. But wouldn’t it be nicer if you’d share?” He added with a hint of a smile while staring at me. And suddenly I didn’t see him as a threat and I was actually open to sharing my hare with him. It was as if a tiny voice was whispering into my ear ‘You don’t see him as a threat, do you?’ and ‘Wouldn’t it be a pity if he starved while you fill your belly with delicious rabbit?’ or ‘He’s too gorgeous to starve!’. The last one I heard it loud and clear inside my head and it wasn’t me, nope!

“You’re doing something,” I hissed through my teeth, fighting to break the eye contact. “And if you don’t stop, I’m gonna' let the hare loose!”

“Hey, hey, okay, just… don’t let him go, alright?” He finally blinked and the tiny voice was gone. “I’m really hungry, you know?”

“I don’t care!” I gave him a ‘hmpf!’ before shouldering my backpack.

“Oh, c’mon! Please?” He followed me, keeping a safe distance.

“Can you cook?”

“If I can? Pfff, she asks