Recommended Song: All WIth You

I can't sleep tonight. The floor feels so colder than usual. Perhaps it just my body is becoming weak day by day. He's still sleeping soundly with peaceful breath in bed. I smile at that view. He looks so kind and soft when sleeping. I can't help but staring for few minutes until my chest feels hurt. So, I get up and walk out to take fresh night breeze.

This feels much better. If only this cold breeze can wash away the miserable feelings in me. I cup my mouth using my palm as I cough for nth time. It's getting bad as days passed by. I can barely breath sometimes because of my painful chest.

Heart tumor, is what the doctor told me. Everyone knows about my disease except Wangeun. I refused to tell him and I didn't allow anyone to tell him about it. I know, it's not like he'll feel worry or sad even though he knows my real condition tho. Or at least, I don't expect for too much.

But what if... what if suddenly he changes once he knows about my disease? What if suddenly he treats me so nicely and acts so caring towards me after he knows it? It'll make me even harder to let him go. It'll make me even harder to leave this world. So, I just want him to treat me the way he treats me right now. Act cold, stern, arrogant. Yes, just act that way is better.

.

.

.

"Appa, do you have anything to say to eomma?" I spoke half-whispered to my dad, sound weaker than usual, I guess. We're now sitting together outside of his house, facing the nice scenery of paddy field and mountains. So calming.

"What do you mean?" He asks me back.

I smile and rest my head on his shoulder. The one and only man who love me to the fullest. "As you know, I'll soon 'meet' eomma. So, do you want me to tell her anything?"

Appa stays silent for awhile as he tries to hold back the urge to cry infront of me. I know it.

"Appa?"