Jonghyun felt a tug in his chest. Wait, make that two. Three. Four. He felt a constant tugging in his chest. The same tugging that happens when Taehyun would call for him, not just verbally, but with her heart; it’s what keeps him so closely tied to her. He sighed. He was starting to feel drained after all the work that he’d done today, so if Taehyun was going to make some more marble pillars, he’d better go take a nap before she finds him.

He disappeared into a secluded area, where rarely anyone went. Since everyone was so busy on set, he figured no one would notice him catching a few Zs. He made up a little cozy nap room, complete with air conditioning cranked up to the highest setting, soft carpeted flooring, his bed from home—or more specifically Taehyun’s couch since he did most of his sleeping in the living room anyway—and his favorite plush toy, Taeminnie, which was a cute plush version of Taemin. Right, no favoritism whatsoever.

He was able to get some decent shut eye before his chest started acting up again, without warning. This time it was much more urgent; it jerked in a disjointed, unevenly rapid manner. He hadn’t felt this kind of calling before.

He rushed out of bed, but before he turned the corner, he saw two people at the end of the hall. He panicked and ducked back behind the corner. He furrowed his brows, questioning what kind of situation they were in; he wondered if he had to step in or not, because if they were about to start making out, Jonghyun would have none of it.

Instead of rushing in, he decided to wait and listen. She hadn’t outright called him yet; hadn’t wished for him to come save her, like how he did before. Jonghyun felt that if he interrupted them right then and there, they would leave with more frustration than an answer to whatever troubles they had. But as he listened to how their conversation progressed, he cursed himself for trusting someone else’s omnipotence. He never imagined that they would withhold information from him, unless necessary to himself or the beneficiary. How would leaving this out be helpful to either of them?

“You’d never understand why,” Jinki said, his tone of voice much colder.

“I don’t have to understand,” Taehyun replied, “I just need to know.”

“My dad had ties to your brother,” Jinki said, casually, “If we were able to merge the two families together under one name, then we’d be one big monopoly. Since my dad had only had one son, and your brother only had one sister, it seemed only natural to…” Taehyun shook her head in disbelief; a surge of betrayal violently rushing into her gut, making her feel all kinds of bitterness. Extremes clashed within her, the coldness in her blood fought against the heat rushing into her head. Anger won her over.

“So you agreed just like that?” Taehyun asked, angrily, “So I was nothing more than a business venture?”

“No,” Jinki disagreed, firmly, “Okay, maybe at first—but why does it matter now? You know that I’d do anything for my dad, and you know how I feel about you—”

“No, I don’t!” Taehyun interrupted, “How am I supposed to know which smile was genuine? Which parts of you were real, or manufactured to match me? Do you think that I’ll look back and fondly remember anything anymore? From now on, all I’ll ever think about is if you meant anything you said—”

“I meant everything I said,” Jinki yelled, striking an unknown fear into her, “I know you know that. Look, you’re only getting wound up about this because your brother’s involved.” The fear Taehyun had felt now fueled even more of her anger. She could see spots in her vision.

“And that’s another thing!” she exclaimed, “You knew how me and my brothers were, yet you still didn’t have the guts, the humanity, to tell me. Why? Cause you were afraid of disappointing daddy?”

“I get that you suffered a lot, Taehyun, I really do,” Jinki argued, “But so are other people, and you don’t even know the half of it. You can’t keep using your sob story as your fallback. I knew that if I confessed to it, you’d use it against me, and look—you are.” The negative emotions Jinki withheld for so long spilled out—no, came gushing out. He felt wronged. In the end, he lost everything, and only gained what he didn’t want or didn’t need. He lost his father, and became the heir to his Medical empire. He lost his lover, and continued to lose her over and over again. He lost his passion, but his fear of failure took over.

‘Why can’t she understand?’ he asked himself, ‘She always understood.’

“Suffering isn’t meant to be compared!” Taehyun barked, “And it isn’t my fallback, for God’s sake! Don’t try to push this on me, Jinki. You’re the one at fault here! Why are we even arguing? You should be on your knees, begging, apologizing!” Jinki scoffed.

“You know that I’d never do that,” he said, “I’m just someone following orders. I haven’t done anything majorly wrong.”

“Haven’t done anything wrong?!” Taehyun cried, “It’s still on you! Do you know how many people have been at the mercy of men just ‘following orders’? In the end, my pain takes the shape of you.”

“You don’t think it didn’t hurt me as well?” Jinki asked loudly, voice coming out hoarse and rough, “The best I could do was believe, genuinely believe, that it was for the best. And I still do believe that. My dad would get what he wanted, your brother would’ve gotten what he wanted, and I would’ve gotten what I wanted.” He remembered every agonizing moment where he came so close to confessing everything to her; thinking up all the best and worst case scenarios, weighing his options. In every one of them, she left him. He never got the courage to tell her, yet somehow she still escaped from his grasp. She was the smoke he so desperately wanted to keep in his hands.

“And that would be?” Taehyun asked, sourly.

“You,” Jinki replied, without missing a beat, “In the end, all I wanted was you. I didn’t want to be some sort of heir, I didn’t want Medicine, but I wanted you—God, I wanted you. I even wanted to marry you—”

“Well, looks like it’s too late for that now.” Taehyun cut him off, not wanting to continue the conversation any longer. She looked away, gritting her teeth.

“Yeah,” Jinki agreed, resentfully, “You’re right.” With that, he took off.

‘It’s too late for that,’ he thought, ‘Is it really?’

Jonghyun felt the tugging in his chest stop. He hurried around the corner and found Taehyun laying across the floor, unmoving. As he sprinted towards her, he feared that the tugging had stopped because she’d lost consciousness. The combined stress she’d felt over the years could’ve taken a toll on her. Jonghyun was preparing for the worst.

But before he could reach her, the tugging began again. A ferocious throbbing called him. He stopped in his tracks, unsure about whether he should feel relieved or not.

“I’m not dead,” Taehyun muttered, getting up, “I was just relaxing.” Jonghyun examined her carefully. When she rose her head to meet his eyes, he felt something in him shatter.

Tears carelessly fell from her eyes, though she uttered not a single sound. Everything she’d bottled in was now spilling over. Watching her cry made him cry as well. He tried to hold it back, but with a choke, he started sobbing. Ugly sobbing. Seeing this, Taehyun immediately wiped the tears away from her eyes. She pat him on the back, trying to hold it together.

“Jjong,” she said, “Can I wish for something right now?” Jonghyun wiped away his tears, sniffling as he bit back another surge of emotions. He nodded.

“I wish I’d never met Lee Jinki,” she said, “Erase him entirely from my life.”