I get changed, wipe off most of my make up and pull my hair up in a ponytail. I head to the kitchen. When I get there I see Sehun holding his head over a cup of coffee.

“Are you okay?” He jumps at the sound of  my voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I’m fine.” He says as he rubs his eyes. He takes a long sip of his coffee. “What can I get for you?”

“Oh, um, water.” He stands up and goes to some of the large black  cupboards closest to the metal table and starts pulling out ingredients. “Can I help?” I say with a bit of confusion as I stand up and .

He looks over and smiles, “Yeah, I am making you some of my world famous pancakes.”

“I am just fine with water, really.” He looks at me and furrows his brow as I walk over to the black stone island that fills the majority of the kitchen, and where Sehun has already put his pile of ingredients.

“If you think the first thing I am going to do for you is get you a glass of water, then you have greatly underestimated me.” He turns around and grabs a bowl and starts tossing in ingredients, I just stand there watching his hands work. Eventually he has a plate of pancakes for both of us.

“What do you want on top?” He asks me.

“What are my options.” I say with a smile.

“I have the classic.” He pulls out some maple syrup. “Or we could spice it up a little bit.” He one of his eyebrows as he heads to the fridge. He pulls out a container of strawberries and a can of something I don’t recognize. “How do you feel about strawberries and whipped cream.”

“Strawberries are my favorite food, but I have never had that before.” I gesture to the can.

“No way!” He says, I could tell he was really surprised. He takes the cap off, “open your mouth”

“What?” I give him a quizzical look.

“Trust me.” He puts his hand under my chin and tilts my head up. I tentatively open my mouth, and he puts the tip of the whipped cream dispenser to my lips and presses down. The sweet cream hits my tongue, just as his lips come crashing down on mine. I lean into him, but a second later I break away.

“I can’t do this,” I whisper as I back away from him.

“Sorry.” He trails off and I am met with a pang of guilt.

I grab his hand and look into his eyes, “Sehun, it’s okay, I’m just not ready.”I could tell he felt dejected, but my feelings for Max were still too raw. He walks over to the strawberries and  starts to cut them into little slivers. I sit on the counter and replay the scene over again in my head. He walks over to the table with two plates of pancakes and stares at me.

“You want to join me?”

“Yeah” I hop off the counter and take a seat. “It looks delicious.” I dig in and can’t stifle the “mmm” that escapes my lips, they are warm and buttery, and the strawberries mixed with the whipped cream feel like heaven. I can’t recall eating something this good back at home.

“That good, huh?” He gives me a half smile.

“I could really get used to this.” I  say gesturing to the food. I finish all I can leaving almost half of what he put on my plate.

“Good, because this is all I know how to make.” He says in an amused tone.

I can’t help but laugh, “But you looked so confident!”

“Yeah, well I know my pancake recipe will never fail.”

“Where did you learn it?”

“My nanny, from when I was growing up, she taught me how to do all sorts of household chores, and she tried to teach me how to cook, but all she could ever get into my head was pancakes.”

“Does she still work for your family?”

His face automatically contorts into one of sadness and pain, “No, she-she passed away a couple of years ago.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”  I look down at my plate and feel guilty.

“Hey, there’s nothing to be sorry for. We have to talk about things like this. We never did finish our questions.”

I cringe at the thought of those god forsaken questions, but I know we have to get to know each other. “Okay, let’s talk. Tell me about growing up, your sister, your mom and, your friends.”

“So,  everything?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, well, I was born April 12-”

“No way! That’s … like a month away.” I realize I interrupted him, He lets out a little laugh “anyway, my dad became president of the country when I was two, I didn’t ever see him much growing up, but even from afar he ran our household with an iron grip. We only ever talk when he scolds or punishes me. My mom is...something, I think you already noticed that much. She was never the most maternal, towards me or my sister. Her biggest worries in life is if she came off well on camera.” He leans back in his chair and smiles, “Yeri, I already told you that she is sixteen. She is the nicest, kindest person I know. She can be materialistic and immature at times, but I wouldn’t want her any other way. She lives here, with me. It’s just us two and Walt. I moved out when I was 16 and Yeri moved out here last year. We were both really done with the cameras and publicity, so my parents agreed we could leave the Blue House. I have three close friends, two of them got matched today. One of them is a single, last year was his last try, but he wasn’t the type to want a match.” He pauses, thinking of something more to say, and then stares at me.

“So, what school do you go to?” I say, deciding to get all of my questions out now.

“Seoul National High School.”

“Wow.” I was in awe.

“Yeah, best in the country, speaking of which, I need to get you enrolled.”

“Really?” I was ready to start jumping up and down with joy, but I was trying to play it cool.

“Yeah, well if you want to, I mean you don’t have to keep going to school, but, I just figured that you would want to-”

“No, I really, really want to go!” I interrupted him mid sentence out of excitement, playing it cool went out the window.

“Ok, I didn't realize school would make you this happy.”

“I always wanted to go to Seoul National, as you said it’s the best school in the country, I applied to the exchange program, and I made it all the way to the last round of selections, it was between me and three other people, but I didn’t get it and I thought I would never have a chance to go there, ever, and now I do and I can’t believe this, I am so excited!

“You must be really smart…” he says I hear a questioning tone to his voice

“Uhh, I’m 49th in the country” I look down and I feel my cheeks burning again, I hate telling people how smart I am.

“Seriously? How? I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but you grew up in the worst part of the country.”

“Hard work will set you free. That‘s what my mother told me almost everyday when I was growing up. From the time I started school my mother always expected me to be the best, so that I could have a better life. I used to have fantasies that one day I would be matched with someone in Seoul, and that would be my ticket out, but my mother would not have that, especially after her match died in a car accident and left her single and alone after two months of knowing each other. She was never trusting of the matching system.” I still keep my head down.

“I am sorry you had to grow up in singles conditions” his voice is soft and comforting “and I’m sorry you had no father, I really can’t imagine growing up how you did, but tell me about your mom.”

    I look up at him finally, “My mom is the most amazing person, she is smart and hardworking, she did everything for me. She had to work so hard just to afford the placement exam so I could apply, that was my birthday present three years ago, she completely surprised me, the exam wasn’t for two months, and I remember the second she told me, I promised her I would get in the top 50, I kept my promise.” I pause a moment and think back to that day, the day when I learned I had a chance, albeit a small one, at not being in poverty my whole life. “That was one of the happiest days of my life.”

    “What about your friends? What are they like?” He says, gently prodding a little more into my life.

    I hesitate before answering, trying to pick my words carefully, I know he didn’t want me to be weak, but there was no way I could tell the truth without coming off that way, I turn my eyes to the floor again, “In school people would make fun of me or call me a freak because I was smart. Most kids in Gimhae aren’t even able to get through school without being held back a couple of years, but, I was so gifted I skipped two years of school, first and second grade. I was always small and an easy scapegoat for all the other kids.”

    “So, you were bullied.” He keeps that soft tone to his voice. He reaches across the table to grab my hand but I just pull my knees to my chest and circle my arms around them. He gets up from his seat and crouches in front of me. “Courtney, look at me.”

    “I don’t want to talk about it.” I say into my knees as I rest my forehead on them.

“Courtney” He sighs “I don’t need you to talk about it. I want you to not be ashamed, and I want you to not be upset. I need to know these things.”

I lift my head and look at him “ You just don’t want to be with someone who is weak and, I am, okay. I didn’t want to tell you, but I wasn’t going to lie to you-”

    “Courtney, I don’t want to be with someone who will just let me walk all over them, you already showed me in the car, that’s not you. If I had taken minute to talk to you I would have realized you weren’t like that. I already said, I was a jerk, I was-” he pauses “upset and I took it out on you. I am so sorry.” He gets up and starts to move the hair that covers my face out of the way. I look up at him, “You are so beautiful.” He whispers so softly I could barely hear it, he caught me off guard. “Are you ok?”

    “I think so.” I say as he puts his hand on my back to comfort me.

    “Do you need to sleep, I know you are tired.”

    I nod my head and he leads me off my chair and drapes his arm across my shoulders. “Yeri will be home in two hours, so you have a good amount of time for a nap.” we get to his bedroom and he leads me to the left side of his bed. “I’ll be around if you need me.” he walks out of his bedroom leaving me staring at his bed. I really didn’t want to touch it, or mess it up. I look over at the sitting area and spot a big plush chair overlooking the mountains. I could fall asleep in that. I walk over and fall into it, it takes mere seconds for me to fall asleep.