A/N: Trigger warning? that this is about yesterday's news. As I have before with my nonau series, I cope with sad news by writing so I banged this out today. This wasn't the kind of prompting I wanted for my nonau babies, but here we go. (It's baby angst, not capital A angst.)

Kyungsoo waits at his computer, biting his nails in anticipation, despite them already having been chewed down to the quick for the past five months. The government’s email announcement should arrive anytime now this morning, on whether or not he’ll be called up for enlistment.

A ping in his inbox, and… It’s done. His application has been processed and accepted for a July enlistment. He’s committed, and there’s no backing out of this path now.

He breathes a sigh, unsure if it’s from relief of disappointment. Well, at least the next 21 months are clear. After feeling adrift, lingering in the uncertainty of the past 5 months, the clarity is nice.

He checks the time and notes that Jongin is still up in the air, flying back from Italy, and won’t land for a few more hours. He’s the person who has to know first, even if only ceremonially via a text hanging in undelivered cyberspace, so Kyungsoo sends him a message.

Got the email confirmation

Enlistment date set: July 1

See you at home

After another quick text to his family’s groupchat to inform them it’s a go, he creates an email to manager Jaehyuk. He pauses, knowing Jaehyuk will be required to pass along the news immediately to the rest of the company. There’s no use putting it off, though. He attaches the official correspondence from the military and hits send. The company knew this was a possibility, but he can’t tell if they interpreted it as an idle threat or not when he first brought it up. Kyungsoo’s not much for bluffing, though: It’s not his first choice of how 2019 would pan out, but given the circumstances, it’s the best avenue forward now.

He’s probably got a few days before he’ll have to make a public announcement. He heads to the kitchen to immerse himself in meal prep for a nice dinner to welcome Jongin home with. Dicing onions is therapeutic, with the rhythmic sound of the knife striking the cutting board playing like the back beat of a mid-tempo song. He finds himself singing his upcoming Station song, his first solo in five years, as he chops all the veggies. The song is simple, but compliments his vocal agility nicely; he likes it and hopes fans will, too, if they get to hear it. Upon slicing the last of the carrots, he admires his tidy knife cuts with a small smile.

The unexpected hiatus this year has had its painful points, but he is proud of getting to complete many of his bucket list items. He wipes down the counter and continues with dusting the picture frames in the dining room, filled with the memories he’s made this year. His chef certificate, a pic of him and Chanyeol in a Marvel figurine store in Japan, a candid of him with the actor hyungs at their favorite dive bar, and one of Jongin with Rahee and Reon, when they took them on a hike one early morning. He feels his smile falter as he dusts over their smiling faces, knowing it’s going to be so long before they’ll all be together again. Will the kids even remember their uncle Kyungsoo in 2021? They’ll grow up so fast while he’s gone…

His phone rings insistently, pulling him out of his thoughts. It’s Jaehyuk. “Hello?” he answers.

The manager wastes no time getting to the point. “Kyungsoo, someone leaked the enlistment news.”

He feels his stomach drop. “Who?”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t me, I swear. But I did forward the notice to the appropriate executives. I’m not sure if-- I honestly don’t know what happened,” he says contritely. “But it’s all over Naver and Daum, lots of articles.”

It’s a kick in the gut, that everything is coming out like this. He’s supposed to have a few days, some time to at least see the members in person first, to have Jongin’s calming presence by his side when the media frenzy started…

“, I need to- Did SM confirm it yet?” He paces around his living room, not positive what he’s looking for until he sees pen and paper.

“They’re about to. I don’t know if they’re going to let you release an official statement, Kyungsoo. I--”

Frantically, he rips off a small square of paper from the notepad on the desk. “Jaehyuk, you have admin passwords to that Lysn app thing, right?”

The manager hesitates. “Yeah… but what are you wanting to do?”

He’s not even sure what the right words are but he’s got to act fast. It almost feels like the door is closing on his only opportunity to officially address his fans as EXO’s D.O… possibly forever. He takes a steadying breath and with a shaking hand, quickly pens down his sincere feelings:

Hello. This is EXO’s D.O.

EXO-L, you must’ve been surprised at the sudden news.

I wanted to let you all know first, but I feel as though I am a bit late which makes me heavy-hearted.

As much as this was a hard and long decision to make, I am leaving this message to tell you all that I will take care of myself and come back safely.

I want to sincerely thank EXO-L for always supporting me.

And I wish that everyone will only undergo experiences that bring smiles to their faces, and be healthy.

I’ll be careful and greet you all again in a healthy state.

Thank you.

It feels lacking, as Kyungsoo always feels with his words, especially when he has to commit them to paper, but he definitely means every single one, and time is of the essence. He gnaws his lower lip as he takes a quick snap of the paper and sends the pic to Jaehyuk. “Can you upload this for me? Please, hyung.”

Jaehyuk is quiet as he reviews the message in Kyungsoo’s slightly sloppy, frantic handwriting, and hums agreement. “It’s beautiful and benign. I’ll push it through and deal with the consequences if there are any, pretending I didn’