"Soojung..."

Her real name was uttered with utmost sweetness that made her cringe a little bit. Add to it, she really doesn't like other people calling her that, except the people who are really close to her, in which this person is not included. Also, the forced cheesiness that the person in front of her is exuding also isn't helping. Still, ngumiti lang sya, yung ngiti nya that always seem to light up everything. A very understanding smile. She nodded, gesturing for the person to continue.

"Soojungie... Gusto kita."

She should be flustered, shocked even, pero she kinda knew it was coming. At sa totoo lang, naaawa sya para sa kanya.

"Kai..." She carefully starts off. "You see, I don't think this'll work."

The guy started fidgeting, trying to feign ignorance. "H-ha? Ano? Wha-what're you talking about?"

"Being in a relationship with you won't work—"

"Kung dahil to sa 'no dating your co-worker' policy ng kompanya, well, pwede naman nating itago diba?"

Clearly this guy is still trying his best na ngumiti at ayaw sumuko, so the girl moves to her last resort. To tell it to him straight to the point.

"I like girls Kai." She deadpanned. "Which clearly means I don't like guys..." A sigh escaped from before she continued. "... And kahit kailan I won't like guys."

Now there goes my kindness out of the window. Naisip nya sa sarili nya.

Kai on the other hand had a mixture of a baffled and kind of disgusted look in his face. The girl didn't mind though. Sanay na sya sa mga ganitong reaksyon whenever she says that she's gay, considering na nakatira sila sa isang bansa kung saan hindi openly accepted ang mga kagaya nya. Pero kahit na ganun, she doesn't fear to openly tell people about it when they asked or if it's necessary. 

"So the rumors were true?! You're freakin gay Soojung?!" Kai exclaimed, a tone of distaste evident in his voice

Krystal can't help but roll her eyes at guy in front of her. "Those weren't rumors. Totoo yun. A whole LOT of people from the company knows that. And please don't ever call me Soojung."

Yes, hindi nya ginawang parang isang maduming sikreto ang pagkatao nya. She's not the person to hide who she is just to please or not be hated by other people. Para sa kanya, that's a total nonsense. Isang bagay na natutunan nya from a certain person, to be herself no matter what the world might say. It really doesn't matter for her what other people might say, ang importante ay there are people who accept her, not like the jerk in front of her who she knows is judging her in his head right now.

Kai just scoffs. "Tsk! Di ko na pala dapat inubos oras ko sayo. Maybe that's what people who doesn't have anyone to care for them end up like. You dirty little sh*t." 

Matapos nyang sabihin yun, Kai left, leaving those harsh words burning through Krystal's heart. Oo maaaring sanay na sya na makutya dahil sa uality nya, pero kahit na ganun, these kind of words still hurts her. 

Krystal sighs deeply. "Well, that's another one to add to the lists of people who hate me in this company."

As she was also about to leave, her phone starts ringing. A grin came up her face as soon as she saw who's calling. 

"Yoboseo."

"Soojung-ah!" The voice on the other line cheerfully called.

Good thing there are still people who loves and accepts her for who she is, like this person for example. One of the few people na hinahayaan nyang tawagin sya sa totoo nyang pangalan.

"Ne? Bakit ka tumawag?"

"Ah... Eh.. Wala lang naman." The person on the other line stuttered, which left Krystal giggling. The latter just can't help it whenever the person acts so nervous to her. "Naalala ko lang kasi na baka late na ko maka-uwi mamaya since hanggang ngayon di pa din dumadating yung bagong idol na magpipictorial dito. I just thought I should inform you?"

The person's statement from the other line made her pout. Alam nya kung gaano katagal yung mga ganung shoot, specially for rookie idols. Imagining kung gaano sya katagal na mag-isa sa apartment nila mamaya is something she just couldn't take. She hates being alone.

But what could she do?

Sensing how Krystal took a long time to reply, agad na nagsalita yung tao na kausap nya sa kabilang linya

"H-hey, I'm sorry. I promise mabilis lang yun!"

At sa pangatlong beses nung araw na yun, a sigh left her again. The girl tries to smile despite feeling a bit down. 

It's fine Krystal. It's just for maybe 3-4 hours alone? You can manage. 

Pagkumbinsi ni Krystal sa sarili nya. 

"Don't worry too much, and wag ka na mag-sorry. That's just stupid you know. It's not that you're obligated to always be at the apartment whenever I'm there. You know I can manage." The latter replied, making herself sound convincing and stern. Alam nya kasi na malamang baka ma-guilty na naman yung kausap nya. 

"S-sorry — I mean okay." 

Napatawa na lang si Krystal. "There you go. Don't go always saying sorry to things that aren't your fault 'kay?" With a cheerful tone, she continues. "Anyways, I need to go. Patapos na lunch break. Kelangan ko pang mag-record ng demos para sa isa sa mga bagong idols ng kompanya. I'm hanging up, see you later 'kay?"

"O-okay. See you later. Bye!"

After the call ended, Krystal proceeded to go back to the studio. Pagpasok na pagpasok nya, she was greeted by an all too familiar figure na nakatalikod sa kanya.

"Sunyoung unnie?" 

The girl turned with her call, at nang makita nya kung sino nga yun, she immediately ran towards the girl to hug her.

"Aray Soojung! Masyadong mahigpit!" Pagbibiro nung babae sa kanya.

Krystal just laughed at her friend's teasing. "What are you doing here?" Was the first words that came out of when they broke from the hug.

"Yan ba agad ibubungad mo sakin?" Her friend now questions with an eyebrow raised. "Tsaka please lose the 'Sunyoung' kapag andito ako. Co'z in the world of demo singers, I'm Luna."

Krystal broke into a huge fit of laughter at Luna dahil sa mga sinabi nya, specially when she said those words with matching hand gestures. 

Luna is also one of her closest friends. They've known each other for almost like forever. Kung tutuusin nga Luna acts like a real older sister to her, which she is really thankful for lalo na kapag pakiramdam nyang mag-isa sya at madalas wala syang masandalan. 

For her, it's a good thing she has friends who feels like family.

Krystal started to shake her drifting thoughts to avoid the occasional overthinking at ngumiti na lang sa kaibigan nya.

"So... Kumakanta ka na rin pala sa mga demos ng idols? Dami nating raket ah. Una stylist, ngayon demo singer."

A proud smile was suddenly present on Luna's face upon hearing the younger's words. "Well it just means I'm flexible and good at many things. Which also means more income!" She said winking at Krystal.

Truly, her unnie's antics never fails to make her laugh as she made her way to one of the chairs in front of the panels.

"Nga pala, what took you so long? Sabi nung assistant mo hanggang 1 lang lunch break mo. And it's already 1:30 you know?"

Di agad nakasagot si Krystal sa tanong nya so Luna figured that something might've happened. After all she knows the younger like the palm of her hand. 

"Ooooh... Is this about... Love then? Si roommate ba toh?" A skeptical Luna asked with a grin while wriggling her eyebrows.

Krystal eyes widened at how accurate Luna's guess is. Seeing this the latter happily points at her with a sly grin. 

"Tama ako noh?!"

The younger just nods her head in amusement. "Yep. Well, yes it's her but there's also this guy I turned down earlier."

An 'oh' came out of Luna's mouth followed by an intriguing smile.

"What?" Krystal said chuckling sa kaibigan nya. In return, natawa lang din si Luna.

"Wala naman. It's just that, your looks never fail. Mapa-lalaki man o babae. Why not give 'roommate' a chance?  You know, just like with—"

At dun napatigil si Luna sa pagsasalita when she realized where her sentence was trailing off/heading. "Sorry Soojung-ah."

On the other hand, Krystal just smiles. "It's fine unnie. I'm fine. Let's... Let's just start the recording."

---

"Looks like you still got it unnie." Krystal complimented after Luna finished recording the demo.

Meanwhile, a shy yet proud Luna came out of the recording booth. "Well, what can I say? Nakakadala din naman yung mga kantang sinusulat mo. You really are one hell of a great producer Soojung."

Napa-iling nalang si Krystal biting her lip to prevent herself from laughing at their sudden throw of compliments at each other. "Yeah... That's nice to hear."

"Of course it is!" Luna exclaimed. "Pangarap nyo to remember? And you're actually living it."

Krystal felt a pang in her heart along with Luna's words. Napatungo na lang sya, turning her face away from the older girl as a much deep and meaningful sigh escaped . "That's the fourth one I released today by the way." Pagbibiro ni Krystal, trying to just take light of the situation.

Pero kahit na anong gawin nya, Luna sees through her, knowing the loneliness she might feel.

"You said you're fine now. Why not give her a chance? Baka makatulong yun you know?"

But rather than considering what the older said, Krystal just laughs it off.

"I've already lived almost half my life ng mag-isa unnie, so I think I'm fine... Tsaka I'm still not really sure on what I feel about her." 

The confession made Luna a bit sad. It's like sumusuko na lang si Krystal, and other than the hidden loneliness, she can clearly see the doubt and fear Krystal has.

But still Luna tries. Di dahil nangingialam sya or anything, she just wants Krystal to have someone to be there for her, someone she could lean on. Alam ni Luna what Krystal has been through, growing up alone and all, and ang gusto nya lang ay matulungan sya.

"But she's really nice though."

Napangiti naman si Krystal dun. It's true that her roommate is nice person. Minsan di nya din maisip kung paanong sobrang bait nung taong yun, almost to the point na para na syang inosenteng bata. Sabagay, it's not the first time she've met someone that nice.

"Yeah she is... But ewan. I don't know."

A caring smile paired with two worried eyes was offered and landed on Krystal. "Nag-aalala lang ako Soojung."

To be honest di nya alam kung ilang beses nya nang sinabi to, but she knows she needs to say it. She has to. "I'm fine unnie. Don't worry too much."

---

At last, after the long hours of sitting in front of the recording panels, after a lot of tweaking and adjusting on its buttons, after lots of thinking para makasulat ng lyrics at makabuo ng kanta, her work is finally done at nakatayo na sya ngayon sa harap ng apartment nya. She looks at her front door at sa totoo lang, kahit na pagod na pagod sya, she doesn't want to go inside knowing the forbidding loneliness that will welcome her, pero ano pa nga bang magagawa nya?

The door clicks open at nung nakapasok na sya ay agad syang dumiretso sa kwarto nya. Nothing special actually. Nagbihis sya from her work clothes to much comfortable ones at sumalampak sa sofa, turning on the T.V as she did, figuring that she might feel less alone  with the sounds from it echoing throughout the apartment.

But boy was she wrong.

Looking at it, sa tingin nya mas naramdaman nyang mag-isa sya. Without hearing anything or anyone but the T.V. 

She bites her lip and lowers her head.

"When did I became this miserable? I'm fine. I'm doing just FINE."

Kasabay ng pagalabas ng mga salitang yun sa bibig nya, dahan dahan ding tumulo yung mga luha nya.

It might just be merely saying it, pero para sa kanya, saying she's fine is her  trying to convince herself that she is.

It's her lying to herself and convincing herself that she's now fine... Or maybe that everything will be fine. 

---

Naalimpungatan si Krystal at napaupo mula sa pagkakahiga nya sa sofa nang marinig nyang bumukas yung pinto.

Seeing how the T.V was still running, she realized that she must've fell asleep from all the crying.

Trying to compose her still flustered self, she turns dun sa nagbukas ng pinto. Curious tiger-like eyes looking at her but the bear-like warmness the person is exuding made her smile.

"You're back!" Krystal happily stated.

Cutely blinking rapidly, the person asks Krystal. "Hinintay mo ba ko Soojung-ah?"

Krystal just chuckles. "Nakatulog lang ako habang nanonood. Pero sige. I can also say that I've waited for you Seulgi."

------------

Here it is! Hahahahahahahaha!

Omaygad ang gulo nito juicecolored. Sorry po. :((

Promise I'll try my best na magsulat ng taglish ng hindi ganun kagulo and also I'll try to write in a much less cluttered way. :'(

I hope you guys liked it! Please voice out your thoughts on the comments below guys! I always read them and I always feel happy whenever I see your comments. Also you can try and suggest things too. Malay nyo gawin ko sya. ;) 

Lots of love for you guys!

Author out!
Peace! ;)